In searching for images to represent the Afrobella aesthetic, I did a Google image search for Janet Jackson. I’m sad to report that the first thing that comes up is a giant close-up of her breast on that infamous Superbowl Sunday, nipple firmly trapped in what looks like a ninja star. To quote Regina Spektor, it breaks my heart, and it breaks my heart. Janet is more than a flash-in-the-pan breast baring stunt. She’s an icon.

I love her hair in this picture so, so much.

Her “Together Again” curly haired phase was crucial in my deciding to go natural.

Janet is incredibly beautiful, and like Toni Braxton, shouldn’t feel the need to expose her (still hot) body to keep her fans’ attention. When I catch her doing stuff like this, it strikes me as a bit sad. And then I think; no wonder Lena Horne didn’t want you to play her in that biopic, Janet.

I’m not the only one who’s noted that she’s coming off as trying too hard these days. But I’d like to take a moment to address Miss Jackson directly.

I’ve been a fan since I was a little kid, since Penny Woods and Fame, girl. Rhythm Nation was the first album I ever bought. Now I’m grown, and you are too. So from one grown-ass-woman to another, I beg you to turn it down a notch, Janet. I get it, your body’s hot again. Everyone admires your determination, and I for one will definitely buy your workout DVD.

But for God’s sake, cover up a bit and show these young broads that sexy doesn’t have to mean slutty. And you know they all look up to you as an example.

All I’m saying is; don’t let this contrast be your defining moment.

Respectfully,

Afrobella

Sorry I haven’t been on my hustle this week, y’all. I’ve been fighting off a cold. I’m at about 75% right now, so instead of staying up till 2 in the morning writing Afrobella stuff, I’ve been drinking Nyquil and passing the hell out before The Colbert Report. Sad but true. I have lots of stuff to write over the weekend, so keep your eyes peeled for a new Afrobella of the Week (I am sure some of you will find her a surprising choice), new product reviews, and yet another shout-out to a legend of yore. For now, without further ado, let’s get to another Ask Afrobella.

In this case, that’s a misleading title, ’cause Afrobella asked Motown Girl.

Lots of you are going through transition issues, and asking questions about specific hair types. In terms of figuring out whether you are a 3C, 4A etc… yeah, that all seems baffling, right? This link explains it all. I think I rest somewhere between a 3C and 4A. Let’s call it a 4A +, ha ha.

Brittaney Asks: I absolutely adore your site! But if you don’t mind, could you give me some advice? I have been struggling with my hair for as long as I remember. Right now, I am letting the relaxer grow out, so my hair is two different textures. Do you have any suggestions as to how to wear it or how to make the relaxer-to-natural process more smoother? Anything will be appreciated.

And Tracie Asks: Hey Ladies! I am just beginning transition from relaxed to natural. I have 3 months of new growth to contend with and I am looking for some guidance, advice, inspiration, pics, links, basically anything that can inform me on how to treat and create the curl in my new growth. I have not had the big chop yet because I would like to have a few more inches of natural hair. Thanks in advance ladies!

Thanks for the kind compliments, Tracie and Brittaney!

My hair journey was unusual in the sense that relaxer and over-coloring had damaged my hair so much that by college, I “took a menopause”, in the words of my friend Richard. I got a really short, spiky cut before I transitioned. This broke my mom’s heart, because I wore said short, spiky hair (with a beautiful seed pearl and copper wire tiara) to my wedding. I straightened my hair for her on that day, and never turned back after that. There were days when I didn’t exactly feel like the Belle of the ball, but I figured out how to rock the out-of-control TWA I was sporting with style and confidence.

According to many black parents, short hair = manly = lesbian = better get a weave. First of all, not that there’s anything wrong with that. Secondly, I have read no scientific studies relating short hair with sexuality. And third, that kind of old school thinking has got to go. If you have to cut it off, play up your pretty features with makeup and rock some bangin’ earrings. Or wear a beautiful flower behind your ear – without all that hair on your head, you can actually show off cute accessories. And condition, condition, condition. Use products that are gentle and nurturing to your new curls and they will love you forever.

I asked Motown Girl her thoughts on the issue, and here’s what she had to say:

“Transitioning can be difficult. For the most part once someone starts to transition and their natural begins to grow, dealing with the major difference of the straight relaxed hair and the natural hair texture can be downright frustrating. Some people (including myself) choose to wear braids and wigs (with your real hair cornrowed underneath). This way you don’t have to deal with your hair on a daily basis and it does not get damaged from daily wear and tear. Make sure you take care of your real hair…don’t get your hair braided too tight and don’t leave braids in for too long.

Regarding products, everyone hair is different and you must experiment to truly know what will work on your hair. However, it seems that the products people seem to have the most success with while transitioning is Fruit of the Earth Aloe Vera Gel and Fantasia IC gel with Sparkle Lites (a clear gel).

Most importantly, be sure to deep condition your hair often, maybe every other week or so to keep your hair healthy and moisturized.

Lastly, try not to rule out doing the big chop. I am sure this maybe a bit drastic for some, but overall, it seems that women that did the big chop earlier on experienced a lot less frustrations and had a easier time dealing with their natural hair. If I knew then what I know now when I was transitioning, I would have BC’ed. ”

So there you have it. I hope that helps, and stay tuned for more fun stuff over the weekend. I teased some in the comments page, but I’ll repost here: ya girl will be back full force over the weekend with a new Afrobella of the Week, a new Never Again/T.B.S product review, and lots of other stuff too! Look out for a particularly random celebrity encounter coming up soon. Keep reading!

Let me make this plain – I am no hair care or beauty expert. But I recently had the opportunity to interview someone who is. When I first started Afrobella, readers started e mailing and telling me on the comments page, “girl, you need to check out Motown Girl. She’s the bomb.” I want to say thank you to those readers who turned me on to her site. The Detroit native is the official curly hair guru, as far as I’m concerned.

Her site is exhaustive in its detail. And the best part of it all is, her advice all comes from trial and error. That makes her site vitally important to ladies who are transitioning, trying to stay natural, or are looking for tips on caring for their child’s natural hair. She provides an invaluable resource for afrobellas everywhere. And she’s mad cool, too. Unlike some other curly hair sites I could mention, Motown Girl was friendly and receptive to my well-intentioned overtures. She not only took the time to respond to a fellow beauty blog’s questions, but she greeted me as a friend and not a rival. In her own words, “I enjoy visiting the different hair websites and blogs out there because each one is unique and has its own focus which is great!” Exactamundo!

I had the opportunity to interview her via e mail on all things Afrobella, and her answers have already helped me improve my hair care routine.

Motown Girl started her site back in 2001, before the current wave of natural hair acceptance. When she was transitioning, there certainly weren’t as many online resources or hair care books available. She watched the evolution of the natural hair movement, and according to her, the most notable change is in the hair care aisle at your local drugstore. “The major difference between now and when I was transitioning (1999/2000) with hair products is the availability of items marketed towards those with natural hair. A perfect example of this is Pantene Relaxed and Natural line. For the most part the items are similar to other items in there line, but they put a couple of essential oils in the mix and put it in a pretty bronze bottle and market it towards a growing demographic. That’s why I recommend people to read the ingredients of the hair products they are using,” she explains.

Lucky for clueless curl-heads, she offers a detailed glossary guide of commonly used ingredients in hair products. Thanks to Motown Girl, I’ve started to spend just as much time reading labels in the hair care aisle as I do in the food section. I now realize that many of the products I was using (yes, including Pantene Relaxed and Natural) weren’t helping my hair to grow or be healthy at all. She’s got me seriously thinking about buying my hair care products online. Motown Girl has certain websites where she does her shopping. “Drugstore.com is where I purchase my beloved Abba Nourishing, Curls.biz is where I purchase my favorite styling product Curls Milkshake and Asian Hair Tea Conditioner for deep conditioning, and From Nature With Love is where I purchase ingredients for my homemade recipes.”

Hair growth (or lack thereof) is the bane of many a black woman’s existence. Chemicals truncated my growth from a young age, and I honestly expected my hair to cascade down my back like my idol Diana Ross once I cut out the creamy crack. My hair growth has been steady, but not speedy. I went on a hair product quest for a while, buying anything that had the word “African” or “Gro” in the name. Nothing worked. According to Motown Girl, most of those products are – to quote an earlier post – T.B.S.

“Some of those promise to grow hair products are usually filled with petroleum and mineral oil which are cheap fillers and clogs the hair follicle and “sit” on the hair,” she said. “However, there are certain oils believed to stimulate hair growth such as rosemary, cedarwood, and castor oil.”

Read the rest of this entry »

Although ultimately Afrobella is about afros and naturally curly hair, I have to show my chemically straightened sisters some love. It’s not easy slathering the creamy crack on your scalp. Trust me, I know. I had one hairdresser who didn’t even grease my scalp to protect it from the burn. Every time I went to see her, I’d leave with my head raw and scabbed. My hair care needs definitely changed as I became natural. Products that work for me now definitely would have just weighed down my straightened tresses. My hair felt so much thinner and more fragile then.

I noticed this article on iVillage about Keeping African-American Hair in Shape. Much to my delight, the expert interviewed was none other than my fellow Trinidadian Wendy Fitzwilliam, Miss Universe 1998.

Her advice is pretty much on point for women who undergo chemical treatments.There are very few products that made the transition from relaxed to natural with me. One of those is African Pride Magical Gro. I always liked the smell, and the product was light and not as gloppy as other hair greases.

Another thing that doesn’t change much from being relaxed to natural is the need for deep conditioning treatments. I do one at least every two weeks. By deep conditioning, I mean slathering on a thick deep conditioner like Motions CPR Conditioning Treatment, or the incredible Beyond the Zone Last Call Hair Masque and using a steam cap.

When I slip on this laughably antiquated looking device, I maximize my ridiculous appearance by wearing a green clay mask. Then I get a kick out of scaring the bejesus out of my husband.

Another example of products that can transition with you is the Pantene Relaxed and Natural collection. I’ve read quite a bit of opposition to the packaging and ingredients.

I guess it’s a perfect example of not-everything-works-for-everybody. I used the Breakage Defense Deep Conditioning Mask and it worked great for me.

I was logging out of my hotmail account the other day, when this picture caught my eye. I simply had to find out more.

The photo accompanied this MSN article, that declares jeweled eyelids as in for fall. My question is: Did jeweled eyelids ever go out with the seasons? I think some beauty looks are permanently in. Few looks are prettier on chocolate and mahogany colored bellas than bright eyelids with a glossy lip in a subtle complimentary color. We’re particularly lucky because just about any color works with their skin. We’re able to play with colors that our lighter-skinned amigas simply can’t, like bright yellow, orange, and chartreuse. Bright colors on dark skin look gorgeous and resplendent. Check out my girl Toccarra over here, and Britain’s Next Top Model contestant Sarah.

Love it. They always do awesome, bright makeup on the ANTM girls at some point every season.

Eye shadow is one cosmetic that I’m always willing to spend a little extra on, just because so often the pigments in drugstore brand shadows don’t pop the way the pricey stuff does.

Take a gander at these deliciously bright Urban Decay Deluxe Eye shadows. I’d love to own them all, but at $17 a pop, I can’t afford it. If I had to choose one, I would spring for Sting, the hot pink shade. I say that because I recently watched Alicia Keys’ Unplugged, and homegirl was looking fierce with her fuchsia shadow.

I own several pairs of their shoes, but I’ve never tried Sugar cosmetics before. However, their Sugar Eyes Glitter Palette looks super cute. I bought individual vials of purple, bright yellow, green, and blue glitter from Sally’s, and trust me when I say that less is more when applying this stuff. First I trace my upper lid at the lash line with black eyeliner, and I go over that with a thin line of glitter when I’m in a particularly festive mood. Sometimes I use the glitter line as an accent, after sweeping a bright color over my whole lid. It’s a striking and surprisingly easy look that works great at the club, or perhaps for some of those crazy holiday parties.

Bellas with steady hands can cop the look with Too Faced Starry-Eyed Liquid Liner. My klutzy ass will stick to the powders and crayons, thankyouverymuch.

For those of you who are afraid of blending colors, the good folks over at Bare Escentuals have made it easy with their Meet The Greens wearable eye kit. These combined pallets also come in plum and colors inspired by wine, both worth checking out for inspiration. But to be honest, at $32 I’m not so sure I would buy this. I know, I know, they’re minerals. I can’t justify that to my husband when he erupts over the bill. And so, I’ll be buying the L’Oreal HIP Bright Shadow Duos in Showy and Flamboyant. At $6.99 a pop, I can afford to get dos duos without jeopardizing the trip-to-Europe fund.

In a recent issue of Esquire, Brad Pitt gave a shout-out to Carol’s Daughter as being good for “black-person hair.” What’s the big deal?

When my girl Fresh over at Crunk & Disorderly posted about it, the ensuing discussion provoked 276 comments and counting! Most people seem to be nonplussed, but a few took offense to his description of “black-person hair.” Not me. Being a black person, that’s what I have, right?

Ethnic won’t work, because that is an excessively broad term. Kinky opens up a whole different can of worms. Naturally curly might have been a way to go, but guess what? Brad is a dude. Dudes don’t usually mince words about stuff like that. I don’t really care about the specificity of ethnic labeling.

I’m just proud that Braddy knows what products she’s using, and recognizes that Zahara needs lots of moisture for her adorable little fro. I hope he’s using the hair milk on her. That’s good stuff.He’s just educated legions of white parents on how to care for the locks of their adopted black children. I know it’s easy (and fun!) to hate on the A-listers, but I’ve got nothing but respect for Brad, Angie, and their rainbow tribe. If y’all need a babysitter, holla at Afrobella.