Apologies for the no postage earlier today, bellas. I had to go pick my parents, brother, sister in law, and little afrobella up from the airport around noon, and I spent the afternoon and evening driving around the city of Doral. It’s 1 in the morning and I literally just got home for the day. Over Memorial Day weekend, and all of next week, I’ll be playing tour guide to my family of nine Trinis. Best believe we’re going to South Beach, and the zoo, and lots of places in between!

I love having visitors, it makes you rediscover the place you live in. A good tour guide vacation experience reminds you of why you live there in the first place. I may do a few posts next week, but balancing my family fun with a full time job and a full time blog just seems impossible. I’m not a superwoman, I am only human. So before I disappear, let’s give away some fabulous gifts! Lisa, Latarra, Tysha, Ms Stella, and Dominique, congratulations! I’ll be e mailing you for your addresses over the weekend, and will send your packages out next week. And stay tuned, bellas, the next giveaway will be my biggest yet!

If you’re a regular reader, you’ll know that my dad loves to comment on my site. He’s come to really love reading it and he respects the community we’ve got here. For Father’s Day, he’s been invited to give the sermon at our church, and it’s kind of a big deal. So he’s asked me to ask all of you a question on his behalf.

“I have been invited to give the Father’s day sermon at All Saints this year at the 7.30 a.m., 9.30a.m. and 6.00 p.m. services. The Prime Minister will be giving the 6.00. a.m. one and I am trying to find out what, in the minds of people, makes a good father. We know all the ills, but what do children really think? I know that almost any male could father a child, but how many really know what is expected or what it takes to be a “father”? Do you think your readership may want to answer that question?”

It’s kind of funny that he brought that up. I’ve been thinking a lot about fatherhood these days, Father’s Day is rapidly approaching (June 17, start your shopping soon), and I’ve been working on a very unique Lost One post that hinges on fatherhood. In my opinion, a good father is always available. And not in a sitting-on-the-couch-drinkin-beer kind of way. A father should be a positive contributor to the household who deserves healthy respect. A good dad can be both strict and silly. If you’re a little scared of your dad, that should be because you don’t want to let him down. A good father will be there for you no matter what. And it’s important to appreciate the good fathers that are out there, because it seems that they can be hard to find. I’m very aware that I am lucky to have the dad that I have, and I try to never take him for granted. It makes me really sad that I won’t be able to be there to watch him give the sermon.

What do you think makes a man a real father, bellas and fellas?

Before I go AWOL for a couple of days, here’s a musical teaser for that upcoming Lost One post that connects to the theme of fatherhood, and also ties into the meaning of this Memorial Day weekend. It takes a real, lasting musical icon to remake the national anthem and make it work. And this version is silky smooth, in my opinion. Enjoy!

OK, I’ll admit it.

I’m hopelessly addicted to celebrity gossip. I’ve managed to wean myself off a bit, but I definitely have my favorite sites and celebrities. My favorite celebrity couple right now is definitely Brangelina, and that has very little to do with Brad Pitt or Angelina Jolie.

For me, it’s all about Zahara. She’s the true star of the family! And from the get-go, she’s been harassed by the paparazzi. Little Miss Z doesn’t take kindly to candid photos. Check out her gangsta glare at the cameras. But she’s even more adorable when she smiles. Awww, Zahara. She’s the cutest.

I already thought that Barack Obama was a pretty cool guy. The more I learn about his policies and intentions, the more I like him. The dude is intelligent, eloquent, he’s got an amazing wife, and surprise surprise — he’s got art skills!

This drawing by Barack Obama is being auctioned on Ebay as part of National Doodle Day USA, a charity event that raises funds for individuals and families affected by neurofibromatosis (NF). Currently, the bids are well over $500 for his drawing, which appears to capture his peers in the government — is that supposed to be Ted Kennedy on the right?

Click here to check out the cool celebrity doodles, and the um, not so cool ones. (Seriously, Jay Leno, no wonder the bidding is low on that. Try better still).

My favorites are by the amazing Ellen Burstyn, Candice Bergen, this one by Gillian Anderson’s daughter (which reminds me of a cross between Where the Wild Things Are and Aaah! Real Monsters), and this cool, Afrocentric landscape by former Afrobella of the Week CCH Pounder.

Speaking of former Afrobellas of the Week… Concrete Loop is ON FIRE with the music posts these days! This past week, there were two new songs by former afrobellas of the week.

Lauryn Hill’s Lose Myself takes a real departure from the hip hop/R&B style her fans may have been expecting. The song is being featured on the soundtrack for the animated film Surf’s Up, which centers around the Penguin World Surfing Championship. The song itself has that oceanic vibe, and her delivery reminds me of Nina Simone somewhat. And of course, it’s all about L Boogie’s lyrics, which seem to directly address her life. “I had to lose myself, so I can love you better.” The sentiment is beautiful. Loving it.

The other song that I discovered through The Loop was Chrisette Michele’s Good Girl. I’ve been bumping that for a solid week now. I can’t get enough of that song!

Angel La was also lucky enough to interview Chrisette, and she came correct with the questions. Great job, Angel La! I always feel intimidated when it comes time to ask famous people a controversial question, so I appreciate the way she handled the situation. And I LOVED Chrisette’s realness at the end, when she responded to a previous comment, where someone dared to say that she needed to lose weight to become more marketable.

Chrisette got all kinds of sassy.”I just want to let that person know that I’m very very excited about being my size in this industry. Because the average woman size in America is a 14. So at this particular moment, I am an average woman. And if you don’t know what an average woman looks like, you need to open your eyes and look again. That’s all. Whoever said that really played they self. I was like, I bet your girl was my size!” Ha haaaaa! Go ‘head, Chrisette! And I do know for a fact that she reads the comments about her, because she came right here on Afrobella and left a comment in response to her Afrobella of the Week post, too! Click and scroll all the way down to read it.

The lyrics for Good Girl are so refreshing and so necessary : “Simple love, money can’t buy. Simple love’s hard to come by. I don’t need a sugar daddy, I could be a sugar mommy.” She’s so right, there ain’t too many good girls. Not even on her own label, which features a Good Girl Gone Bad, and produces hit songs like Upgrade You, which is all about fetishizing materialism. I’ve been yearning for music I can actually RELATE to for a change, so I’m psyched for her album. If you’re curious about Chrisette, check out this video, A Closer Look. While she’s being interviewed about her life, she bursts so effortlessly into song. She’s amazing.

Chrisette, if you’re reading this, I want you to know that I got your back, and I can’t wait to see what you do next. And as long as you stay real and sing what YOU want to sing about, and keep on being the positive role model that you are, I’m gonna be first in line to buy I Am when it drops on June 19!

Beauty pageants are a big deal in the Caribbean. Or at least they were when I was growing up in Trinidad.

When it came time for the annual Miss Universe pageant, the family all gathered round to root for the hometown heroine together. Trinidad and Tobago has a long and proud history of beauty pageant winners. In 1977, Janelle “Penny” Commissiong became the first Trini, and the first black woman, to win the Miss Universe pageant. I was little when Giselle Laronde won Miss World in 1986, and the whole country celebrated that victory. It was a huge deal when Wendy Fitzwilliam won Miss Universe in 1998, becoming only the third black woman to win. That was the year I moved abroad.

I didn’t realize until I moved to Miami that there were so many people who never watched beauty pageants on television, or even gave a hoot about the Miss Universe or Miss World pageants. When Trinidad hosted the Miss Universe pageant in 1999, I practically had to beg my new American friends to watch it, and some of them had never entertained the thought of watching a beauty pageant before. Over the years, I lost touch with Miss Universe. The only year I watched the whole thing was in 2004, to cheer for my childhood friend Danielle Jones. (she placed fourth runner up!) But still, it made me sad to realize that for the first time in 17 years, Trinidad and Tobago was not sending a representative to Miss Universe. It might seem superficial, but when you’re from a small place that most people don’t know anything about, it does make you feel a swell of national pride to see your country’s representative, wearing a costume meant to depict your culture, striding across a global stage.

Even though my country won’t be represented, I think I’m going to watch this year’s pageant (which will air at 9 p.m. on Monday May 28 on NBC). I’m going to support my Caribbean sisters by rooting big time for Miss Jamaica, Zahra Redwood. She’s the first Rastafarian to compete for the title, and she embodies the essence of black beauty.

Her amazing dreadlocks are getting all of the attention, but as this two-part interview with the Jamaica Observer indicates, Zahra is about much more than her hair. She’s 25, and has a degree in biotechnology and zoology. She’s mature, intelligent, classy, and completely self-possessed — exactly what the winner should be. No risk of Tara Conner embarrassment, here. And besides, Zahra’s victory will make a statement about how far natural ethnic beauty has come.

Back in the day, a girl like Zahra might have been expected to shave off those beautiful locks in order to attend school, or to be accepted in the workplace. Now her locks are her glory, and they set her apart from the rest of the straight, shiny haired pageant beauties. I’m not one to make predictions, but I will say this — that tiara is going to look just stunning on her! Go, Zahra!

Say it with me: awwwwwwww… The littlest afrobella in my family is growing up so fast! I’m so excited, I get to see her this week! My whole entire family is coming to Miami to celebrate our fifth wedding anniversary with us. I’m psyched to see everyone, and super duper psyched to see little Dominique. She’s grown up so much, and I hear she’s saying lots of new words, getting into all kinds of mischief, and learning lots of new and wonderful things.

One of the new things she likes to do is come up to Mama Bella when she’s at her dresser, with her hands outstretched. “Keem?” she asks. And Mama Bella gives her some body cream in her hand, which she then proceeds to rub on her arms and face with great enthusiasm. Hey, she’s moisturizing early! I didn’t start until my late teens!

I want to reinforce her self-esteem with positive images she can identify with. I’ve been looking for all sorts of products for her for a while now. For one, I want to get her a beautiful doll that looks like her — someone PLEASE tell me where to start looking. She’s not even two yet, and most dolls are for babies three and up. The only little black doll she has is a Bratz doll who’s dressed to work by the motels on Biscayne Boulevard. My sister tells me that she loves Poko, but I can’t find a Poko doll.

I had just about given up on my search for the perfect gift for my favorite little afrobella when I made an amazing discovery. Bellas, I’d like to introduce you to J.Blossom, a brilliant new line of children’s bath and beauty products created by Jamila White.

j.blossom all began when Jamila started experimenting with at home body products, whipping up lotions, lip balms, and body scrubs in her kitchen as gifts for her friends and family. When she made some super-cute personalized lip balms for her goddaughter’s fifth birthday party, she discovered a demand. When she designed her products, Jamila wanted to make a statement.

“I was getting pretty disgusted with all the images of Black girls and women that were being portrayed in the media. I had always been aware of it, but it was really starting to bother me more. And going into major retail stores and seeing “hoochie-wear” for eight-year-olds wasn’t helping. I felt like little girls’ self-esteem was under an all-out assault. Every message was telling them that something was wrong with them; that they needed to have long, straight hair; that their skin wasn’t the right shade; that their noses were too big; that their body wasn’t the right shape; that they weren’t “sexy” enough; that their goal in life should be to be cute enough to catch a baller who can buy them lots of bling. Even the popular dolls on the market seemed to look like hoochies. What ever happened to innocence? Seems like that window of being young and carefree kept getting smaller and smaller,” she explains.

Preach on, Jamila! She’s articulating feelings that I’ve had for a while now. These are the image issues at the root of the doll test, and the social issues that help to lead otherwise good little girls down the road to nowhere uplifting, like a certain fifteen year old Trini girl I don’t even have the energy to defend anymore.

As the Chief Joy Officer of her beauty product company, Jamila is doing her part to give little afrobellas positive reinforcement from the outside in. All of j.blossom’s packaging features an adorable, smiling brown girl and every product has a fun little saying on the bottle.

“I decided I wanted not just to use aromatherapy and flower essences in the ingredients and affirm little brown girls with the images on the packaging, but to have different positive affirmations on every product. I wanted the girls to know that they were perfect just as they were, but I didn’t want to sound “preachy”. So I made it fun, like Short or tall, thick or thin — I love the skin that I am in! which is on the strawberry-banana body lotion,” says Jamila. Other little sayings on the bottles include “I am perfect just the way I am, because God doesn’t make any junk!” “I love my beautiful brown skin, especially when it’s fresh and clean!” “I am somebody special!” and “Girls can do anything!” Love that idea.

So you’re probably wondering about the ingredients. Jamila is very particular about what she’s using, because these products are targeted for little ones. She’s also very upfront about her ingredients, and everything’s proudly posted on each package. The lip balms are made with beeswax, shea butter, olive and jojoba oil, honey, stevia extract, and flower essences. The body wash includes lavendar, rose, coconut, aloe vera, jojoba oil, and vitamin E. The lotion is comprised of shea butter, olive oil, apricot kernel oil, and sweet almond oil among other things. And Jamila makes sure that three essential ingredients are used in every j.blossom product. “Patrice, I’m really serious about maintaining the positive energy in the products. On the label under ingredients it even lists “music, laughter, and lots of love” because all three are a crucial part of the product. Listening to positive music when I’m mixing up a batch really does make the products better! Once I was listening to the radio and some songs with some not-so-positive messages were on, and for the first time a batch came out all messed up. I’m telling you, that negative vibe got all up into the product. So now I make sure I have a bunch of positive, make-you-sing-out-loud kind of music on when I’m making product. Stevie Wonder, Jill Scott, Bob Marley. You know, happy music. Happy music makes happy products. Happy products make happy girls. And happy girls grow up to be strong, healthy women,” she says.

Because little Dominique won’t be here till Friday, I’ve been trying j.blossom’s products out myself. First of all, I love the Great Big Grape bubble bath and shower gel. It has a bubblicious type of grape scent that the kids will go crazy for, but it isn’t overpowering at all. The body lotion is awesome, emollient, and the perfect balance of thick and thin. Dominique’s gonna love her “keem!” The lip gloss is super smooth and moisturizing, and as a lip gloss junkie, I gotta tell you that it feels pretty cool to be able to use a product with the slogan “I have a beautiful smile” on it. It gives me a little joy every time I use it! The one complaint a kid might have is, the gloss doesn’t taste like grape. The smell’s there, but it pretty much just tastes like lip gloss. But I think she’s gonna love it anyway, and she can put it in the purse I gave her for Christmas and be the little diva that she is.

So far, j.blossom’s been getting great response from afrobellas of all ages. “We just launched in December, and so far the reaction by both children and adults has been incredibly positive. The little girls just light up when they see the bottles. They want to touch them and play with them. For most of them, it’s the first time they’ve ever seen themselves on a product. One of my emailed to tell me her daughter sleeps with j.blossom stuff under her pillow every night, and another told me his niece won’t throw away the empty bottles. Hearing that kind of feedback really does my heart good!”

Awww. Yay for j.blossom! Jamila says that hair products are coming up next, and she’s got a lot more in store. I’m ready for a j.blossom line of dolls, teeshirts, a Saturday morning cartoon… bring it on, Jamila! I’m supporting you all the way. The products are high quality, the message is needed and positive, and the prices are excellent — an 8 oz bubble bath and shower gel costs $12, and lip balms are just $3. And as a special little incentive, you can enter promo code AFROB for a 10% discount off your purchase!

If you’ve got a little afrobella in your life, I’ve got a special giveaway for you and her today! Jamila was good enough to send me THREE j.blossom mini fun packs, which contain a 2 oz. bubble bath and shower gel, body lotion, a .15 oz lip balm, and a mesh bath sponge. I also have TWO lip balm packs, which contain both Great Big Grape and Strawberry Banana Smoothie flavors. Leave a comment and tell me about the little afrobellas in your life. What’s her name? What are her favorite toys to play with, or books to read? Have you found any other positive products for your little afrobella? Share with me. At the end of the day on Friday, I will pick five lucky numbers and e mail the winners!

I miss the kind of multicolored feminism that was so popular in hip hop music in the early Nineties. It was definitely embodied by many of the participants in Freedom, that all-star soundtrack song I featured last week. So many of those musicians came to blossom in an era when female pop stars could make their debut in big, baggy clothes, while doing goofy dances. And no group wore their clothes baggier or had goofier videos than TLC.

In those early videos, T-Boz and Chili were the sex symbols. Their beauty was apparent from the beginning. But Lisa “Left Eye” Lopes hid her femininity behind shiny, oversize hats and goofy glasses with a condom for a lens. And in the video for What About Your Friends, she was rocking suspenders and bangs that made her look like an eight year old.

Even though she was talking about sex in Ain’t Too Proud to Beg, and claiming “Left Eye don’t mean the rest of my body is irrelevant”), the video’s aesthetic was more hip hop romper room than boudoir seduction. (Seriously, imagine what that video would look like from a group coming out now!)

Grown up sexuality would come later, on CrazySexyCool. That album remains the most successful R&B album ever released — 11 million records sold in the US, and 15 million worldwide. Even though she doesn’t even rap on the track, the video for Creep was a shining moment for Left Eye. The impact of that song was so huge. I remember seeing it and wanting a pair of silk pajamas so badly. TLC’s take on sexy (Red Light Special, Diggin On You) was always tempered with sass (Kick Your Game). And then there was Waterfalls.

(fun fact: did you know that Cee Lo sang backup on Waterfalls?)

In the documentary Last Days of Left Eye, which aired all weekend on VH1, Left Eye muses about her lyrics in that song:

I seen a rainbow yesterday

But too many storms have come and gone

Leaving a trace of not one God-given ray

Is it because my life is ten shades of gray?

I pray all ten fade away

Seldom praise Him for the sunny days

And like His promise is true

Only my faith can undo

The many chances I blew

To bring my life to anew

Clear blue and unconditional skies

Have dried the tears from my eyes

No more lonely cries

I’ve listened to that song so many times, and not once did I ever think about what Left Eye was trying to say. And what those lyrics that were repeated so many times in 1995, must have meant for her at that time. After burning Andre Rison’s house down and being sentenced to five years probation, she tried to come to terms with her personal demons through those lyrics. And she touched millions of lives in the process.

I watched that documentary, The Last Days of Left Eye, last night. It shook me. The critics all agree – MSNBC, the Washington Post, and the New York Times all described the introspective autobiography as heartbreaking, enigmatic, tender, haunting. After watching the documentary, I dreamed about Left Eye last night. Her pain was so, so deep, and the power of her experience in Honduras couldn’t have been anything less than life changing.

The impact of the events of her spiritual retreat are addressed here in this NPR interview with director Lauren Lazin. Lazin reveals that Lopes seems to have known her fate, and accepted it long before the inevitable accident. “She had a very particular thought about death and what death was. I spoke to her one time in my life, and she was saying how much she and Tupac had in common. How similar they were. And she said to me I wouldn’t be surprised if I died young as well. And she said, but you know, I don’t really see death as a bad thing, I see it as a transformation of energy. I see it in a different way than a lot of people see it.” Two months later, she was dead.

The film leaves so much hanging in the air, and after seeing Left Eye as we had never seen her before, hearing her unedited, unrhyming words in that inimitable voice, the shadows linger long after you’ve seen it. The film is gaining notoriety for it’s finale, which actually shows the footage of the accident that took her life – she looks at the camera, we get the sense of peace as they travel along the then-familiar road, we hear her horrific scream. Then, the wreckage. But what haunted me the most wasn’t her death, it was the struggles that led her there.

Left Eye’s last days with TLC were fraught with tension. She came up with great ideas for Fanmail, (love her rhyme on No Scrubs), but confessed that she couldn’t stand behind that album. Tension with T Boz and Chilli became public, and Left Eye called them out for a solo album challenge that never manifested into the success she craved. Left Eye was so excited about her solo album, Supernova. She did drop a single from Supernova in the UK, the quirky and kid-friendly The Block Party. And she speaks frankly about her beliefs about the afterlife in the spoken-word song A New Star is Born.

The title of her album perfectly captured Lopes’s existence — a supernova is a stellar explosion so hot and bright that it outshines its own galaxy, before it burns out forever. The album was ultimately shelved by her label, and reportedly, that crushed her dreams and led her to seek out spiritual salvation through yoga and herbs in the forests of Honduras. There’s no doubt that the experience affected her on a deep internal level, and the film helps to create a new level to her legacy.

Even without the documentary, Left Eye would be remembered as one of the most creative, exciting, smart, and sassy female rappers of all time. But without the revelations she so openly shares in the film, the acknolwedgement of her alcoholism and the abuse she’d faced by the men in her life, the eerie premonitions of her death — brought on by a car accident in which a little boy, also named Lopes, was killed by the car she traveled in — the scars she reveals, and the hope that shone so brightly in her beautiful doe eyes; without those things, the story of Lisa “Left Eye” Lopes might have remained just another tale of a lost one. Yet another celebrity only remembered for the way she left this life, not for how she lived it. But because of her brave and stunning film, her legacy will shine even brighter. Left Eye is my Afrobella of the Week because of the strength she revealed in her final moments. She believed in transformation and reincarnation, so I hope that somewhere in a rainforest, she’s naked and playing with her animal friends as she yearned to do in life. I hope that her visions of the afterlife were everything she would have wanted. I hope that wherever she is, there is peace.

Instead of sharing yet another TLC video, here’s Donell Jones’s “You Know What’s Up.” I love her look and attitude in this video. No more condom glasses or spray painted clothes. She looks like the angel that she is, and she’s spitting rhymes on her own terms.

We miss you, Left Eye. You will never be forgotten.

Were all-star jams a phenomenon that peaked in the Eighties?

Of course, there was We Are The World and Do They Know It’s Christmas, but the songs were never catchy to me. I just grew up loving the all-star jams on Video Soul, like Self Destruction (LOL at Kool Moe Dee’s stunna shades) and We’re All In the Same Gang — which, by the way, is an awesome song. I missed that bass line, and I need to download that STAT. When’s the last time you heard Michel’le sing that hook? And what the heck happened to Michel’le anyway? Nicety was the jam back in the day! (So funny to see Dr. Dre and Eazy-E up in that video).

There’s just something cool about seeing a bunch of celebrities and musicians come together to collaborate on a project. But I can’t think of any truly outstanding all-star jams in recent years.

There was that wack cover of What’s Going On, I guess. (Britney + Ja Rule + N’Sync = an insult to Marvin Gaye’s vision). That very slick Johnny Cash video for God’s Gonna Cut You Down also comes immediately to mind, but doesn’t count because Johnny Cash is the only singer. But that video’s got more star power than any other I can think of. And that’s just a flat-out great Johnny Cash song. (surprise, I’m a Johnny Cash fan! I grew up listening to Willie Nelson and Kenny Rogers, too. Ain’t nothing wrong with a little classic country music).

But a late night watching VH1 Soul reminded me of an all-star collaboration I had all but forgotten about. Freedom was originally featured on the soundtrack for the movie Panther in 1995. The group includes a veritable black female who’s who of Nineties music industry players: Mary J. Blige, Monica, Meshell Ndegeocello, Zhane, TLC, SWV, Aaliyah, Brownstone, Vanessa Williams, Salt N Pepa, En Vogue, Queen Latifah, Joi, Xscape, and a room full of talented sistas, some of whom I don’t even recognize.

I watch this video and I’m all like, wait, was that Karyn White? Who is that? Des’ree? Whatever happened to Patra? It’s kind of amazing to think of how much life has changed for the participants of that video. Some have become A list stars, some have faded into obscurity. Some are struggling to stay relevant, some are doing reality television, some are very sadly no longer with us.

Still, while watching it I love the feeling of empowerment that I get from this video. Imagine the vibe in the room, everyone pumping fists in the air and remembering the struggles of our ancestors. That’s a beautiful thing, and makes a great throwback jam with an inspiring message.

Enjoy, bellas! Happy Friday!