JustMyWord,
Your post was very touching and I have mad respect for your honesty and courang. I wish you the best, and to stay strong girl.

I read your comments and I agree. You’re absolutely right about the responsibility that we have as women, but I think that responsibilites are taught by example, not word, so although women should bee 110% sure that they are having a child with someone who they want guiding them, sometimes women are so blinded by their want for love and their desire to fill a void, responsibilities and values aren’t exactly at the forefront of their mind. That doesn’t make it right, but it’s a reality that needs to be addressed with appropriate care. It’s almost like we presume sometimes that because a guy makes us feel good or beautiful or special at the moment, that that is all that matters about him. I think we assume he’ll fit every other role accordingly because of how he makes us feel. That is foolish, but I fell into that trap so I can say it now with an understanding of both sides. That kind of thinking plays a large part into how we end up with not so great partners, and although we are responsible for that, we are creatures of habit and conditioning. One’s own worth has to be a reality–there are many blinding factors that diminish people’s self image and worth, IMO you can’t ignore that when you give advice about choosing spouses and parenting. Most people aren’t starting from a clean slate, they’ve got baggage from family problems, etc that affect the way they value themselves. It doesn’t mean people should be complacent about keeping things that way, but you can’t begin to fix a problem without acknowledging how it became a problem in the first place. Respect for oneself has to be modeled, and disrespect has to be unlearned.

You all be blessed!!

Same to you. Be encouraged, as long as you have faith in God’s faithfulness, the storm always passes over.

Jerseybred-

Thanks for your words of encouragement. I know it takes time, I’m learning how to hold out for what the future has in store.

JUstMYwOrd,
thank you for your words of encouragement and I hope all the pain that is in me…will come to pass. I’ve longed for my father a many days and wished that I had what my cousins have in my uncle (their father). Now, my child is w/o her father..this was no choice of mine…he made the choice and now we have to live w/his decision. Like you, I try not to paint a negative picture of him because I want her to have a bond w/him….but she’s getting older and she no longer asks about him like she use to….she’s coming into her own now and she will paint the picture of him the way she views it…not me. Again, thank you for telling your story and reaching out (you probably didn’t think…you would touch someone’s life today). Be Blessed and Best WISHES:)