Comments on: A Random Musing On Political Wives Caught In Scandal

By: Worth A Click | afrobella

Worth A Click | afrobella — Mon, 17 Mar 2008 04:53:19 +0000

[...] will be sworn in before the State Legislator, effectively ending Eliot Spitzer’s in-office shame spiral. Thus far, the result of this whole incident has been history-making — Paterson will be the [...]

By: www.anythingblack.wordpress.com

www.anythingblack.wordpress.com — Sun, 16 Mar 2008 19:37:20 +0000

she is trippin but she tryin to make him not look so bad. she aint fuckin him tho naa meaan?

By: Bebroma

Bebroma — Sat, 15 Mar 2008 22:03:33 +0000

And I agree, LTEEFAW. Having your husband cheat, while devastating, is not the worst thing that can happen to you. I’m one of those people that choose not to share my story, but believe me. If you think a cheating husband is the worst thing that can happen, then keep living. And I also agree with one other point you made. I’m divorced now, too, but before I decided to take that course, one of the reasons I stayed in the situation that I did was that I had made a promise, not just to a man, but to and before God, and I took that very seriously. I wanted to be sure in my heart that when I decided to go forward without this man, it was what I should do (and adultery is most definitely listed in the Bible as a reason to kick somebody to the curb), and not just action driven by anger, pride, and hurt.

By: Bebroma

Bebroma — Sat, 15 Mar 2008 21:55:19 +0000

LTEEFAW — I have so much respect for you for sharing your story, especially after reading some of the comments here about what some women feel they would do or how they view women who stay. I’m sure there are others who have stories too, just choose not to share, for various reasons. And as you said, even though you’re divorced now, you are glad that you made the decision you made before for reasons that you know best. I feel like if you haven’t been there and you pass judgment on a woman who is there for whatever action she takes, it’s like being an armchair football coach. You’re not there, it’s not your game to win or lose, and you certainly aren’t taking the hits, but somehow you know just what the players should/shouldn’t do. We all have opinions, but to think your opinion is the absolute truth is a fallacy. There is no absolute truth in a situation like this.

By: bella

bella — Sat, 15 Mar 2008 01:55:00 +0000

LTEEFAW — wow. You’re right — I don’t know how I would deal with that. This is why I love the exchanges we have here. I learn so much from the perspectives and experiences of others. Thank you for sharing your story.

By: rjweems

rjweems — Fri, 14 Mar 2008 18:55:47 +0000

Looks like I’m one of those few women who understand why Silda came out and stood next to Eliot two times this past week. It’s crazy, but it makes sense. I enumerate some of those reason there on my blog: http://www.somethingwithin.com/blog.

I’ll mention three reasons here:

You enjoyed the perks that came with his office and that accrued with his success, you show up and share in the humiliation and shame that come with his downfall.

You stand beside your philandering husband as he tenders his resignation for the same reason a mother shows up at the trial of a son whoâ€™s accused of murder. Because heâ€™s family.

You stand next to him because, as crazy as it sounds, you still love him. I know. Itâ€™s crazy

By: LTEEFAW

LTEEFAW — Fri, 14 Mar 2008 17:29:43 +0000

I can respect alot of the points that have been made. But what you have to understand is what your marriage vows mean to you might not mean the same thing to another person. When some folks get up there and take those vows they truly mean for better or worse, till DEATH DUE US PART. It’s not just a promise to your spouse but for some people it’s a promise to GOD.

Many, many years ago I discovered my spouse was cheating with a hooker while I was pregnant. The day I heard my child’s heart beat for the first time was the day I found out. At that point in my life that was the worst thing that had every happened to me. I wanted to die. How could he do this to me? How could he do this to his child?

I always told myself that if he cheated I would leave but something told me to stay. I can’t explain it. At the time it made no sense. I just knew that leaving wasn’t the answers. Years would pass before I would understand why.

We would later divorce but I’m so glad that I followed my heart and stayed with him. I thought that having a man cheat on me was the worst thing in the world that could happen to a women but it’s not.

My point is a marriage only consist of two people don’t look in on someone else’s relationship and think you know the whole truth. And unless your husband is a public figure believe me you have no idea what you would do.

By: Mimi

Mimi — Fri, 14 Mar 2008 00:53:11 +0000

“Iâ€™m the kind of daughter who wound wonder the exact opposite â€” why would you let Daddy make you stand at his side after he was a total jerk to you?”
My sentiments exactly!! These men don’t deserve the support of their wives and I for one, under such circumstances would NOT be standing at his side like this. I know we vow to be with our husbands for better or for worse and many may see this as testimony to that vow, but the vow became null and void when you committed adultery!!

By: BrowneyedGirl

BrowneyedGirl — Thu, 13 Mar 2008 17:52:55 +0000

If the spouse was NOT there wouldn’t everyone wonder what’s up with that? How was she doing? By being there she’s saying I’m okay, don’t worry about me. But in that case she’d have to be standing back and looking pissed. Not by his side.

I heard his speech this AM on NPR. They remarked about how absent of emotion it was.

Silda looks like a zombie. How is that helping her children? All it shows them is that she lacks self respect. After 20 years of marriage (I’m going on 11) there’s no more “in love of being in love” believe you me. I wish she would have slapped him. Hard.

Having an affair is totally different than visiting a prostitute. Nevertheless, marriage has to be built on TRUST. If it lacks trust, its some other type of arrangement, but not a marriage. It would drive me mad if my husband cheated and I knew, I could never be at ease with him again – let alone share intimacy. I have 2 toddlers, but we’d be starting a clean life without daddy under our roof – and they would be learning about ethics. These teenagers may be dating, or starting to date (I don’t know their ages). The lesson is “if you are disrespected stand up for yourself.” I hope they get that.

I’m sure Spitzer got an extra thrill because what he was doing was illicit, and completely opposite his public persona. They will have a hard time getting an impartial jury of his peers in NY. Completely disgusting.

By: Jaren

Jaren — Thu, 13 Mar 2008 16:02:10 +0000

I find myself wondering if the shoe was on the other foot would these husbands stand there and take that with their wives? That would be verty interesting to see. It is hard enough dealing with something like this in private, to have to face the public that is something I really don’t think I would be able to do. I believe that standing by him by not leaving him is enough. It takes a very strong woman to be able to do something like that.