I got inspiration from other women I would see out on the street and those who appeared in magazines without the yaki. It was nice to see that they were just as gorgeous with their natural hair. I find it in myself as well..Fortunately, I’m pretty darn happy with what I see in the mirror..and if I’m not, I throw on something that’ll get me there, lip gloss, heels, pretty eye makeup..whatever..but my hair is me..most people get confused if I change my hair from the fluffy state lol.

I always joke that I am an equal opportunity dater. Of course I am attracted to women by physical characteristics, but what keeps me and what defines beauty to me is their personality. Beauty is all emcompassing. I can find beauty in seemingly diametrically opposed concepts. Strong and meek. Serious and silly. Conservative and liberal. It all depends how the womnan carries herself. I guess these are difficult to portray in tv and mag ads, but just thought I’d throw my 2 cents in after stumbling upon this interesting discussion.

does anyone know/remember who patrick kelly is? http://www.answers.com/topic/patrick-kelly this was the black fashion designer from mississippi who was so powerful and well-respected that he worked with black models exclusively — and when he did work with a white model, he sent them down the runway in blackface.

to pick up a vogue magazine as a kid and to see this black man’s work all over everything was a revelation. i was beyond inspired. i vowed then and there that when i got away from my mother’s straightening comb, i wouldn’t ever process my hair again. (think of it — if black women stopped straightening their hair, using weaves, etc, they’d put a billion dollar industry out of business.) fashion does matter because it’s images are so pervasive. when those images are of us, it changes how we see ourselves and how others perceive us.

okay. secondly, i live in harlem, so it’s easier for me to go natural and revel in that than it is for my kinfolk down south and in the midwest who are ridiculed mercilessly if they don’t tow the conventional black beauty standard line. i know, because that’s the heat i caught until i left — and it sometimes singes me when i return. think about it: many black women run the risk of losing their jobs or not being taken seriously on those jobs for opportunity and promotion if they don’t straighten their hair.

i greatly admire those black women who go natural under those circumstances. they inspire me to stay natural, too.

The comments are great. I’m glad Shones reminded us of the importance of honoring and acknowledging each other’s natural beauty more often. A friend and I made a deal that we were going to break the habit of viewing other women as some kind of competition. Instead, we were gonna smile and send out positivity. I’m working on it! I’m delighted many of us have been able to find a way to construct our own ideals.