Comments on: Catching Up With “C”

By: Chia

Chia — Sat, 18 Oct 2008 14:04:47 +0000

I don’t use any moisturiser, so I can’t recommend anything specific. Sorry! :p

I really appreciate all of the comments on here. It’s nice to know the opinions of people I don’t know.

Isme – Actually, I go to a state school. Your point still stands though, because it is a very liberal and accepting one. If you compare my school to others in the local area, mine is definitely the best equipped to deal with the situation. I’m lucky to be in such an accepting environment, and obviously my choices have been based on that. That said, even if I had been in a less liberal school, I might have made the same choice, because I think I would still be happier having transitioned.
The choices that someone should make really depend on their personal situation. Even if that weren’t the case, I don’t know really know what the education system is in the Carribean, so I can’t comment.

Hmm – that question wasn’t directed at me, and I didn’t even really answer it, but oh well.

By: Miss Cocoa Luv

Miss Cocoa Luv — Fri, 26 Sep 2008 01:56:30 +0000

I think what’s more moving about this situation is that everyone is so positive.

By: brightstarr

brightstarr — Sat, 20 Sep 2008 15:55:09 +0000

Beautiful twists Chia! My only question is what kind of moisturizer do you use? I’m loving the look!

By: Dnelly

Dnelly — Wed, 17 Sep 2008 22:42:40 +0000

Hey Bellas!

Go on C with’cha BAD SELF! I’m loving them twist boo!

By: Nona

Nona — Wed, 17 Sep 2008 19:41:41 +0000

Actually this is an ending that could only have come out of Europe, but it is surprising even for Britain.

By: Beth

Beth — Wed, 17 Sep 2008 03:39:13 +0000

Thanks for the update! I’m so happy for you, Chia! And, I agree w/everyone else here–your hair looks fabulous and you’ve got gorgeous skin!

By: T

Wed, 17 Sep 2008 01:34:28 +0000

As a lesbian living in the Caribbean my advice would be to not really expect acceptance from most people. The region is not that big on anything anti-machismo or anything that is deemed ungodly…sinful, at least not out in public. Luckily, my experience hasn’t been so bad because I’m surrounded by people who care for me and people that have been exposed to life off of the island (this makes a huge difference, I think) so it’s not so much a big deal. With all that being said though, nobody mentions or acknowledges the fact that I’m a lesbian. So we don’t deal with it.

What had helped too is having friends that are the same way that you can have your escape and just be yourself at times. If you look carefully and have a ear open you can always find another person you can be yourself.

And what’s usually the case is, those who can, usually pack up and leave the first chance they get. Which is really sad because we end up losing some really brilliant, creative and forward-thinking individuals that could really do good on the island.

The internet has been great too, as far as helping some of us find a community and like-minded, or just accepting, people.

Last thing, I love this site so. It’s such a treasure. Thanks for your effort, Afrobella.

By: isme

isme — Tue, 16 Sep 2008 16:28:44 +0000

This happened to a friend when we were Chia’s age. I advised that those who truely loved him would understand, don’t expect others to accept you, be prepared to deal with the negative flood that was about to come your way and that his lifestyle is a choice so deal with the consequences! He did and it was part of his life experience as a gay caribbean man.
The most important advice came when we got real. I stressed that he needed to wrap it up tight because whilst we tend to follow America, we also do not have the capacity or facilities to handle HIV/AIDS. This double life that the gay caribbean community tolerates of being happily married seemingly hetrosexual whilst keeping outside gay lovers proves that it was every man’s responsiblity to protect himself.
More on this another day!

By: bella

bella — Tue, 16 Sep 2008 14:49:13 +0000

VERY good question, isme. I’ve learned so much about tolerance and acceptance since leaving the Caribbean ten years ago. But if Chia lived in Jamaica or even Trinidad, which I like to think of as more tolerant… I might not have given the same advice. Actually, if Chia lived in the Caribbean, she might not be writing me this e mail, period.

For the Caribbean bellas who are living in judgmental societies and struggling with gender or sexual orientation issues, I think it’s very important to somewhere, find someone you can talk to about the issues you’re dealing with. A counselor at school. A favorite teacher. Someone who will listen without judging you.

In the islands, those like Chia are often negatively labeled and forced to deal with discrimination and hate. I would love to hear from more Caribbean people about this — if Chia was from the islands, I hate to imagine the pressure she might have endured at home, at school, and everywhere she went.

What advice would you have given, isme? As someone who (I assume) still lives in the Caribbean?

By: isme

isme — Tue, 16 Sep 2008 14:24:28 +0000

Ok Bella I’m not sure I agree with all the advice given to Chia but I do love the hairstyle all the same. Let me ask you something as a Caribbean Bella, Chia seems to be in a relatively liberal private school what if a teenager from a “Compre” (no you don’t need to explain this term to the american readers just say rural/urban public school) had asked or is reading this dealing with the same issue would your advice be the same? I know there are some Caribbean teenagers that need to make this decision to come out only after graduating and not because of their own safety, but because they don’t have mummybellas or daddybellos at home to explain acceptance and differences etc. Chia would be called a chi-chi man or worst and those taking Chia’s side would be labelled negatively as well.