When I was … what, eleven or twelve years old? I had one of those teachers you remember forever.

Mrs. Silvera.

She was awesome.

There are so many things I’ve forgotten and supressed from those formative years, but the Mrs. Silvera experience could never be one of them. This is partially because she made our class memorize The Desiderata, a poem written by Max Ehrmann. Click here to read the whole thing before I break it down phrase by phrase.

When I was a socially awkward pre-teen, the words means almost nothing. Who was this crazy woman, and why does she insist on us memorizing this poem? It wasn’t until I hit college, and the trials and tribulations of being away from the safety net of my family and friends in Trinidad, that the Desiderata truly felt relevant to my life. It wasn’t until grad school that I understood that Mrs. Silvera was handing down words to live by. Which is kind of interesting, considering that I’m talking about a poem written in 1927, by a regular man who didn’t claim himself to be a prophet or religious figure of any kind.

Specific phrases of the Desiderata have helped me moments large and small, those “ugh” days we all have, and through especially trying times in my life.

For example, in the final throes of sixth form when I found myself sadly adrift in an ocean of frenemies, and freshman year of college when I was an island girl in a strange new world, I held two phrases as my watchwords:

“As far as possible, without surrender, be on good terms with all persons,” and “Avoid loud and aggressive persons, they are vexations to the spirit.”

For real. That holds true to this day.

When I entered the world of grad school, this phrase seemed particularly pertinent:

“If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain and bitter, for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself. Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans.”

When I entered the world of work, I took solace in these words:

“Keep interested in your own career, however humble; it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.”

And now, in these everchanging times, when I’ve made a decision to leave behind the safety net of a familiar job in a city I’ve called home for a decade, in exchange for new adventures in a colder place, this sounds about right:

“Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.”

Thank you, Mrs. Silvera, for drilling that all into our heads at such a tender age. It’s crazy to discover just how loudly some old lessons can resonate. Even louder with the passage of time.

Maybe you’ve got some words of wisdom of your own, that have helped you through tough times or inspired you to achieve greatness. I told the above story to lead into this one:

Alltel Wireless is presenting a wonderful opportunity to young scholars – the fifth annual “Words of Wisdom” essay contest.

Check it out: ten grand prize winners will each receive a $10,000 scholarship to a participating HBCU institution of their choice as well as a trip to Little Rock, Arkansas to meet Dr. Maya Angelou and enjoy a private concert with R&B sensation Musiq Soulchild.

That is BIG. Bellas and fellas, if you’re a young student on the come up, or the mom or dad or sister or aunty of a student in need of opportunity, click here to enter. You have to submit your response to this topic:

“The foundation has been laid. And as a people, we’ve shown what we can do when called upon for change. How are you being called to build upon this new spirit of change?”

The contest window is small; your entry must be post-marked by February 14.

I know I’ve got some young readers on the rise, and $10,000 in scholarship money is no joke right about now. There are so many young brothers and sisters struggling to make their way through college, with depleting scholarships and hard-to-find loans dragging down their dreams. Take for example Larry A. Peterman, a college student who started a blog, What Happens to a Dream Deferred, in order to raise the $3899.24 he needs to stay in school this semester. If you’ve got a little extra to give, click here to give a young man a continued opportunity. Larry is friends with brilliant blogger J.Dakar, so I heard about him through Twitter. And I’m happy to share his story. But just think — how many Larry Petermans are out there right now, who don’t have a way to get their stories heard?

I hope one of you Afrobella readers gets a chance at this scholarship opportunity. To meet Dr. Maya Angelou? Wow. I’d love to hear back from the winner after such a remarkable experience!

Love and light to all of you who enter! Here’s to a 2009 filled with bright new opportunities.

What are the words of wisdom that you live by?

So since my announcement this week (yay!) I’ve been delightfully overwhelmed with well wishes and congratulations. And without fail, one of the first things people say is, “girl, are you crazy? You’re leaving Miami for Chicago? But Chicago is so cold!”

No duh!

I’m not moving to Chicago for the weather, I think only a crazy person would. I’m looking for a good plus size winter coat right about now! I’m moving for the opportunity and the change and the culture… and over time I’m gonna have to get acclimated to the arctic temperatures. This island girl is going to have to suck it up and get used to it. I understand that I’m about to experience ashiness on a level I’ve never anticipated before. My skin and my hair will be parched for moisture. The lotions and salves that have been just for decadent pleasure all my life will now become vital supplies.

So inspired by your comments and my imminent move, here are my top five favorite indie beauty deeply moisturizing butters and balms, some I’ve reviewed before (but not in a while), many of which are made by bellas, for bellas.

1 – Neosoulessentials Natural Shea Butter products are handmade with shea butter, soybean oil, hemp seed oil, fragrance oils, and love. Eva’s Shea Buttah is super thick and extra buttery. I love it on my legs immediately after a shower. A 2oz jar costs 6 bucks (and mine has lasted forever because of how moisturizing this stuff is!) The Aloha scent is my favorite, a dense floral with a soft vanilla underbelly. Warm, exotic, and comforting. Yum, and it also comes in a hemp body wash that will thrill any lover of organic beauty products.

2 — I met the creators of Aromessence Body Products at Tracey Mourning’s Honey Shine Holiday Bazaar. Michelle and Irene are two Miami natives who have found their calling in the world of aromatherapy. Irene is a licensed aromatherapist, and Michelle’s the marketing whiz. Together they whip up Aromessence Body Butter in their home, but you’d never guess. This is a whipped, professional quality body butter that sinks instantly into my skin. So many oils! Shea butter, cocoa butter, sunflower seed, jojoba, virgin coconut, apricot kernel, and aloe vera gel number among this butter’s ingredients. Very moisturizing, highly penetrative. And smells like heaven! I know this post is all about moisture, but I GOTTA shout about Aromessence’s aromatic sugar body scrub. I’ve tried a LOT of sugar scrubs, and this ranks among the best I’ve tried. Super thick organic sugar, scented to decadent perfection, in a non-slippery formula. My skin LOVES this stuff!

3 — I first mentioned Play Pretty Beauty way back in August, and my appreciation for former South Florida news anchor Danielle Knox’s line has only increased with time. That’s mainly because my husband loves how I smell after I slather myself in Nohea Ani whipped body butter cream. $22 for an 8oz tub of floral, fruity, smelly goodness. I’m hoping this stuff will help me maintain a teeny tiny bit of my tropical flava when I’m scraping ice off my windshield.

4 — If you have eczema or really dry skin issues, you should familiarize yourself with Shea Radiance. The product line was borne out of the dry skin issues of this adorable little boy, and the family owned business reaches back to their West African roots for their healing and nourishing body butters and creams. The range of fragrances in their whipped shea body butter is heady just to look at. Black Orchid or Green Tea? Earthy or Floral? You decide. They cost $16.95.

5 — My final pick has a specific purpose. When my feet and knees get that extra dry kicking flour look, I still reach for Elbows, Knees, and Toes by Quench Essentials Skincare. To say this blend of shea, cocoa butter, and coconut oil is dense, is an understatement. This is the stuff I reach for when my feet are in that man down code 10, cannot be seen in public state. The Sweet Butter fragrance is mildly scented, but highly effective. $12 a tub, and because of the understated fragrance factor, this is the kind of stuff your man might need to borrow from you. Because dudes get ashy feet too!

So armed with these lotions and potions, I hope to keep my skin looking and feeling beautiful when I move to the land of ice and snow.

Do you have a favorite winter moisturizer that your skin absolutely craves? Tell me about it!

Remember the New Year’s post I wrote, 2009 is mine? I wrote words that were meant to inspire and electrify, but I didn’t explicitly state the kind of changes I had in store.

When I said: “2009 is MINE.

My year to grab life by the reins. My year to be the change I’ve been looking for. My year to stop wishing and hoping and praying for things that are within my grasp. MY. YEAR.”

I meant every word of it.

The time has come. I’m taking what I said to heart, and I have a big announcement to make.

I put in notice at my day job last week. My last day will be in mid-February.

I’m sure I don’t have to tell you all (or go into details about) the whys and wherefores of my decision. Just know that it wasn’t an easy one.

This August would have been five years that I worked as an editor of the calendar section of the Miami New Times. While I was at this job, I’ve enjoyed some wonderful opportunities, interviewed celebrities I admire, and even managed to have two cover stories. They’re framed and hang in a place of pride in my living room.

Because of my job, I learned how to drive, bought a car (that’s since been discontinued by the automaker, but I digress), and became a stronger, more confident person and a better writer. I made amazing friends, had crazy experiences, and discovered new things about myself and the world. There are many aspects of my job that I will sincerely miss.

So why am I leaving all this behind? Why trade a secure thing for an unknown quantity, especially in a season where job numbers are in the toilet and the economy seems way too shaky?

Quite simply — it was my time. And that’s not all.

My husband and I have made the decision to leave Miami. We’ve called the 305 home for ten years now. And we’re ready for new adventures and opportunities in another great American city. Which brings me to announcement number two!

Afrobella’s moving to Chicago!!

If you’ve been reading for a while, you already know I love the city. My in-laws live there, we’ve got wonderful friends who live there, and I honestly see it as a city of opportunity.

With journalism taking the tragic downslide it has taken, I’m considering all kinds of ways to reinvent myself and make use of the valuable skills I gained through working for a newspaper. In Chi-town, there are so many places, people, and organizations I’d love to work with — obviously there’s Oprah (hello!) and EbonyJet.com. Then there’s the Shedd Aquarium or the Field Museum, the Lincoln Park Zoo, or PAWS Chicago, the city’s largest No Kill humane organization.

Right now, Nas’ I Can feels like my theme song. I know I can be what I wanna be. If I work hard at it, I’ll be where I wanna be.

Read the rest of this entry »

Bellas, let me tell you — behind the scenes of these giveaways, it ain’t always easy. Valerie Reed of Valana Minerals found that out the hard way. Not only did she wind up with more than 600 bellas and fellas entering her contest, but she had some really great resolutions to choose from!

“Once everything was sorted we still had 644 valid entries! We were certainly surprised at the number of entries. There were a wide range of resolutions with entries from all over the world. Most of the resolutions were heartfelt and sincere and we appreciate all of the entrants who shared their resolutions. We wish each Bella and Bello (yes men entered as well) the best in meeting their goals for the new year,” says Valerie.

644! I can’t even imagine. It took a bit longer than anticipated, but Valerie slogged through your entries to choose just two winners. Without further ado, the two winners are:

Yarbrah Peeples of Athens, Georgia!

Yarbrah’s resolution is: “For a long time I have been waiting on “my season” believing that it entailed wonderful things being bestowed upon me.Year after year I have claimed it, and year after year I have trudged along dissapointed because “my season” never really seemed to materialize. What I am now realizing is that “my season” has been waiting on me. My season will only come when I become a full participant in making it happen. When I begin to set goals, believe I can achieve them and work earnestly to reach them. I can’t sit idlely hoping for good things to happen…I have to do some work. This year I pray that I love the person God made me to be. I pray this year I will lift myself up in love and learn to accept and celebrate who I am and where I am. Rather than bemoan my present circumstance I want to learn to rejoice anyhow. I want to love my body more and take care of it better. I want to continue to be cautious about my finances but not allow them to control my spirit. I want to gain a strong relationship with God and myself rather than sulk about the lack of a love life. I want to lose control and trust God to lead me. I want to learn more about love and faith and accept that neither have to do with me being in control. This year I won’t set weightloss goals. I won’t cry about my skin and hair. I won’t sulk about not having a boyfriend, fiancee or husband. I will be me…in all the glory He designed.”

and

Kelli Wilson of Middleton, Idaho. This was Kelli’s resolution: “My new years resolution is to smile more. 2008, and actually 2007 were hard years for me. It took someone saying “I haven’t seen you smile…” to make me realize how my life was heading so my new years resolution is to do more things that make me smile. If I am stressed out, I will leave the situation or do whatever it takes to end it quickly so I can go back to smiling. It sounds so easy to do but I have been working on it for about 2 weeks now and it is not as easy as it sounds. I will continue though because life is too short to sit and let it pass by frowning. I hope you have a smiling day.”

Well Kelli and Yarbrah, I hope you have smiling days today. You are the Afrobella and Valana winners! Your winning responses will be posted on the Valana Minerals website, Valana already has your contact info, and the brush sets will be sent next week.

Thanks for entering, bellas, and as I always, ALWAYS say – fret not if you didn’t win this giveaway! This is but the first for 2009, and I’m lining up all kinds of sweet giveaways for every month of the year. So keep reading, keep entering, and it’s bound to be your turn sometime soon!

Thanks to my friends at Palacinka and Bellasugar, I heard about a hot new documentary that sounds like a must-see for any Afrobella. By Chris Rock? Really?

You heard right — Chris Rock’s documentary, Good Hair, has entered competition at Sundance. It’s getting great reviews, and according to the description, it sounds amazing and inspiring :

“When Chris Rock’s daughter, Lola, came up to him crying and asked, “Daddy, how come I don’t have good hair?” the bewildered comic committed himself to search the ends of the earth and the depths of black culture to find out who had put that question into his little girl’s head!

Director Jeff Stilson’s camera followed the funnyman, and the result is Good Hair, a wonderfully insightful and entertaining, yet remarkably serious, documentary about African American hair culture.An exposé of comic proportions that only Chris Rock could pull off, Good Hair visits hair salons and styling battles, scientific laboratories, and Indian temples to explore the way black hairstyles impact the activities, pocketbooks, sexual relationships, and self-esteem of black people.”

And…. what conclusions does he draw while investigating the industry and trying to answer his daughter’s sad question of self-esteem?

“What he discovers is that black hair is a big business that doesn’t always benefit the black community and little Lola’s question might well be bigger than his ability to convince her that the stuff on top of her head is nowhere near as important as what is inside.”

Well, well, well. Mr. Rock, I’m gonna need you and your beautiful little Lola to catch up with Afrobella, OK? And I’m gonna put this out there right now — I would love to interview Chris Rock about this film! It sounds like something that’s been long overdue.

Rock and his executive producer Nelson George elaborate on the issue in this AP interview, which reveals what every black woman knows, and what we’ve discussed on this here blog time and time again — that the hair thing goes beyond wanting to achieve Eurocentric ideals of desirability.

““It’s this whole thing about approval. That approval is not simply, `I want white people to love me.’ It’s like, `I need a job. I want to move forward, and if I have a hairstyle that is somewhat intimidating, that’s going to stop me from moving forward,’” said Nelson George, executive producer of “Good Hair.“”

Here’s a video of Rock discussing his film. Makes me want to see it even more!

Does this mean a new career track for Chris Rock? Do you want to see this film? What do you think will happen to terms like “good” and “bad” hair now that we’re in a new era of change?

** adorable photo courtesy of Concrete Loop!

Tuesday in the nation’s capital. During this historic day, the question millions have been waiting for will finally be answered. Yeah, yeah, yeah – Barack Obama will be sworn in as the nations’s 44th president. History, hope, and change. Now where is MICHELLE and what is she WEARING?

And just moments ago, there she was — resplendent in yellow, glittering in a Isabel Toledo ensemble. Do you love it, or do you love it?

** edited at 9:30 a.m. January 21 — for the evening inaugural ball, Michelle wore a stunning one-shouldered gown by Jason Wu.

Barack appeared as taken with it as fans of Mrs. O are — look at how lovingly he gazed at her during their first dance at the inaugural neighborhood ball. And Beyonce? You killed it. The joy is so evident in your face as you sang. What a moment. What a day!

Here’s to a new first lady setting the fashion standard in Washington DC!