Comments on: A Curly Conundrum

By: Korkscrew Kween

Korkscrew Kween — Sun, 13 Sep 2009 11:09:21 +0000

I am a 3c/3b mix hair type, and understand how Nisus feels. After becoming involved in the on line natural hair community, have developed a guilt regarding my hair. I have definitely noticed a disdain by some in the natural community for kinkier hair types. I receive countless questions on natural hair groups on how to can replicate my curls, most if not all those with kinkier hair types, with little to no natural curl definition. I try to get them to focus on the beauty of their hair, what it will do naturally, & that a looser curl is not the Hair Holy Grail. I honestly do think that those with this mindset do not realize that they are still as brainwashed as those who perm & weave because they believe kinky hair is “ugly”. It’s still the good/bad hair nonsense. Same song, different verse.
And please, can we stop referring to hair as having “grades”?!?!

By: Nubeing-Queen

Nubeing-Queen — Sun, 06 Sep 2009 18:58:01 +0000

I have worn my hair natural since I was fifteen in high school and “nappy” is still viewed differently and as less desirable within the natural community.

I have worn every natural style imaginable from a short Cesar to braids/twists, I even wore it in locs that I allowed to grow to my behind for eight years. The point is, I realized texture and length still mean a lot to many people including naturals!

When I wore my hair short and kinky before locing I never felt comfortable in high school. And as an adult the longer my locs grew down my back people that once detested them simply adored the style because of the length.

I recently cut them off this year to allow my hair to be free and loose once again and it’s like dejavu, high school all over again. There is greater acceptance for curly naturals and as a result a lot of kinky and coily sistas feel marginalized when it comes to defining even “natural beauty” and as a result they buy tons products and spend excessive time for the supposedly “carefree” “shake and go” look. The author has a very valid point and it holds true for those of us in America as well.

By: crystal g.

crystal g. — Fri, 04 Sep 2009 04:27:05 +0000

:-+ kisses ~good topic. i was in 7th grade when i decided to go natural. I live in stockton, ca (which has recently recieved the title for ‘worst place to live in america’; but considering the fact that back in 1998-2004 i was the only ‘black’ chick in my city at the time to rock a fro, i knew that the negative attitude towards change and diversity would be my city’s down-fall. when i started high school i had built this soul sista persona because i felt i represented ‘the real’ when it came to black women. But i felt sooo convicted when a bunch of samoans enrolled in my school. They had hair as nappy and free as mine-skin brown as mine- and a true pride. they didnt wear an afro pick with a black fist in their hair or wear shirts that said things like ‘afrocentric/ black diva/ afro pride’. They were just themselves. And honestly the only people i was having real issues with with accepting my hair was the blacks. But now im done with making a statment and i wear my hair any way i feel. Imma b crystal regardles

By: Nisus

Nisus — Mon, 31 Aug 2009 20:22:43 +0000

This is a wonderful post (and great comments too!) I feel a type of guilt all the time because I’m a very light and curly haired natural lady. Other diverse natural women and aspiring naturals come up to me all the time and ask about products and hair cuts. Products and techniques are very important but to guarantee the accuracy of my advice I can’t also tell them to start out by creating my type of hair in their scalp. On the other hand I have also heard the “my hair won’t do what yours does” comment or that “but you have that good kind of hair” comment numerous times when I try to offer encouraging advice ( I write a lot about encouraging curly hair patterns). What is so ironic about it all is that I too compare myself to natural women with my complexion and thought at one point that my hair would be different than it is.

We just don’t know what we have under our relaxers and weaves until we grow it out. The tendency towards diversity amongst us is so great that there is no way we can look at completion or “curl width” to estimate how we’ll feel about what we have. I also do hair for friends who went natural around the same time as I did and I have learned by experience that different things work for different hair types. Things they swear by are the devil to me, and vice versa. I think it would be cool if we developed a vocabulary of acceptance as opposed to processes. Like say wearing one’s hair big or small as opposed to curly or twisted. Or we could say back or out as opposed to puff or fro. etc.

By: Joy

Joy — Mon, 31 Aug 2009 18:35:15 +0000

I completely agree with you about this acceptance of curly hair but it has to look a certain way. I have tightly coiled hair and I have a friend who has curly hair but not as tight as mine. More people find her hair more “pleasing to the eye” than mine, because it’s curly but it’s not kinky, and I think there’s a definite distinction. I’m readin this blog (herthoughtbubble.com) and I love it because it’s about a model with hair that looks like mine, which is definitely rare.

Great job Afrobella!

By: UnalteredBeauty

UnalteredBeauty — Mon, 31 Aug 2009 14:31:18 +0000

I’ve been saying this for YEARS! Just read some of my past posts here on the afrobella website if you don’t believe me (i.e. Carol’s Daughter forums).

By: Em

Em — Mon, 31 Aug 2009 02:18:27 +0000

Frankly I am not feeling this article at all, and it’s purpose seems a bit murky. It appears to be packaged as “progressive” political commentary only to feed off of some perceived de facto insecurity that “real” black women as a collective supposedly share. Or ought to, as this writer seems to imply. What solution was she trying to offer here exactly?

By: DNLee

DNLee — Sun, 30 Aug 2009 23:47:21 +0000

wow! I thought I was the only one who suffered from Mulatto Girl dreams – that’s what I call it when I want loose bouncy curls. don’t get me wrong I love my thick, frizzy, cotton-y, poofy hair. The bigger, the better and I don’t mind nappy. sometimes it is. But I sometimes want a more relaxed curl where my hair lies down and does poof out into a halo.

By: SoFrolushes

SoFrolushes — Sat, 29 Aug 2009 21:40:31 +0000

that is so true. people are striving for curly hair. when my hair is wet it is curly but dries to a frizz with no product. I dont really care for my hair the way I should but that may change in time.
what I find funny is on YouTube you get people attacking others for their hair descriptions, eg no your hair is not 4b/3c you hair is definitely nappy lol. some people take things too far and they do so on some natural hair boards. hair is hair right.
Oh and my workmates assume I can wear an afro but my hair is fine and dense and does not hold an afro style unless freshly washed no products or lightly blow dried.
nice article btw
sorry for the ramble

By: Faith

Faith — Sat, 29 Aug 2009 20:41:27 +0000

Well one of the reasons why I’m wary about “going natural” is because of yet another goalpost about acceptable hair. I’ve worn my hair in many different styles and am secure in my blackness. I don’t like the implication that those who use chemicals are “bad” nor do I like the natural hair mafia mentality that I see emerging. It’s just another way for black women (be they biracial,multiculti, light skinned or other) to bash each other. The other issue is how loudly some proclaim to hate their hair. It really makes the entire group seem so insecure because sorry but white people don’t care about our hair UNLESS we bring it to their attention. I’m also tired of having other people discuss our issues. Like Chris Rock doing a documentary about how black women style their hair. I haven’t forgotten the horrible things he’s said during his last comedy special where his disdain for black women was waving like a freak flag. I’m not supporting anything he does. Especially when it’s to make money from our confusion and pain. Let’s face it a lot of this hair angst has everything to do with the indoctrination that many black women have for thinking of themselves as the community gatekeepers, black male protectors and by their race, seldom by gender and RARELY for themselves as individuals. It’s time to leave all of that mess behind!!!