Comments on: Can I Touch Your Hair?

By: ced

ced — Tue, 14 Sep 2010 03:58:52 +0000

An elderly man came up to me from behind while I was in line at the post office and started stroking my hair. He said “Hi red”. I nearly took him out with a left hook to his jaw but I pulled back the punch before hitting him…FYI I am a white 40-year old female with red hair. The man’s actions creeped me out and scared me. Why do people think they have a right to touch someone’s hair? Thank you for the posts; I appreciate that I am not alone here.

By: A.G.

A.G. — Thu, 05 Aug 2010 19:44:50 +0000

The African American women will compliment but the west indian women will touch without asking. I don’t get offended by it because i am proud of my hair. But now that I am reading my article i can see how they are disrespecting my personal space.

By: j202

j202 — Mon, 17 May 2010 15:58:06 +0000

I’ve gotten this question a few times from some of my black-female coworkers when I wear a wash and go. I really don’t mind because as a new afrobella I’m so happy that other people admire my natural curls. They seem to be amazed that it grows the way it grows without any manipulation, which is usually followed by, “I wish my hair could do that.” To which I reply “well it may if you give it a chance.” Some of those same people later came to tell me that I had inspired them to go natural themselves..I absolutely love hearing that.

Even when I wear my hair straight my grandma loves to touch it and feel how soft it is..of course she doesn’t have to ask

By: Bianca

Bianca — Wed, 05 May 2010 01:04:26 +0000

On a few occasions, I’ve been asked if others can touch my hair. It’s a little odd, but I’m ok. Again, I’m like you; I’ll decline if I am not comfortable. I get more stares than anything else. Here in Houston, almost EVERY Black woman is either “weaved up or lacefront out”. I’m still not quite “the norm” and I’m ok with that. I can honestly say the only thing that bothers me is this “good hair, bad hair” theory. I am so over it, yet we still have a long way to go. I’ve been told that I have “good hair” and it really irritates me. The term “nappy” used with such a negative tone REALLY gets under my skin…but alas, there is nothing I can do about it. I remember a posting you did awhile ago, trying to convince this woman to love her texture after a lengthy conversation at a convention(not so sure about the specifics). I refuse to try and convince ANYONE to love their texture. The conversation becomes redundant. We truly have a long way to go.

By: Kev

Kev — Sat, 01 May 2010 20:49:54 +0000

Life is full of little annoyances; folk of color seeming to bear more than our share. At some point the annoyances will own you if you don’t choose grace, which the author seems to have done. My wife, whom I admire deeply, has been natural for a while now. She committed to what I now see as a lifestyle change after it was clear that our daughter’s mental health was at stake if we didn’t get a handle on things. At any rate, more often than she talks about the “can I touch syndrome” she talks about the impromptu consultation requests that someone else mentioned as well. She seems flattered and accommodating. But then again, my wife is overflowing with grace, so it is no surprise that she would frame it that way. … Anyway, it’s nice to see positivity in such reflections as you’ve offered.

By: mz.jonezy

mz.jonezy — Sat, 01 May 2010 01:42:28 +0000

i have locs and people ask me all the time “are they real” with outstretched arms ready to touch. I don’t like people touching me hair simply because for the most part, the motives are not positive.

I find it funny that natural hair (which is supposed to be ‘natural’ to us) is the most un-natural thing out there. Its like “OMG, you hair is…natural? where they do that at?” lol. I don’t like attention being drawn to my hair because to me, its not that phenomenal. Its hair, the way nature gave it to me. I feel like if I play it down and make people think its not as incredible as its seems, maybe people will begin to think of natural hair as ‘regular’ and everything else as strange.

By: dee

dee — Thu, 29 Apr 2010 19:36:41 +0000

my hair’s not natural now,but my brother’s is and so are my two nephews. There’s something so tactile about hair, relaxed and natural, and I think it’s mostly because natural hair is soooo different that it makes you want to touch. I think it’s natural to want to experience the feel of something different. It’s fun to touch my brother’s locks and remember when his locs were just starting out and shorter than my hair. It’s fun to touch my nephews hair and see how his haircut is growing out and feeling when the curl starts coming back. Some mean harm but most people who ask are genuinely intrigued by it.

By: melaniecheryl

melaniecheryl — Thu, 29 Apr 2010 05:04:41 +0000

Once again Bella you approach a situation with grace. Love it! I have been natural for many years and would cringe everytime a stranger would touch my hair. Reading this article has caused me to reflect on this. I live and work in a predominately White community. Very few Sisters in my town have hair like mine, so of course I stand out. I am quite fascinated by my coils and kinks and play in them all of the time. I can understand that others would be fascinated as well, especially those are not blessed with the ability to have hair like mine. Yes, you may touch–but only if you ask NICELY.

By: Nia

Nia — Thu, 29 Apr 2010 04:53:21 +0000

OMG! Tonight a woman ran up to me and literally blocked me from exiting a store. She just kept looking at me-like I was from another planet. I said, “Excuse me,you’ve mistaken me for someone else”. She said, “No, I just wanted to give you my card. Im a stylist. I do cuts and perms” What the phuck???….

Last week, I went to an upscale club. All the women had weaves or perms. I was the ONLY woman with a natural. The men were literally begging to touch my hair. The entire night men kept telling me I looked like Jill Scott or some exotic woman. While the women eyes seemed to say, “Nappy *itch”

Thank God- I have found total freedom in being a natural. In August it will be a year without a hot comb.

By: World Wide Web Wednesday |

World Wide Web Wednesday | — Wed, 28 Apr 2010 17:18:12 +0000

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