While I was not a fan of her music at the time, I knew of her legacy in show business and her work as a civil rights activist. I was struck by the fact that she remained quite beautiful and trim at the age of 65. And, she was always tasteful and understated in her way of dressing. She was a striking presence. However, she did not have the overbearing sense-of-self often seen in celebrities. She was relaxed, informal, and simply got on with the business at hand without fanfare. Yet, if someone recognized her and approached, she was consistently polite and charming. She would often have a brief and engaging conversation that left a big smile on a fan’s face. She was quite ‘down-to-earth’ and approachable. Her old world manners was something I saw her display more than once even when it appeared that she was visibly tired. I was impressed by that. After a few months passed I did not see her again. However, she left a very favorable impression.

In a way, she reminded me of my own mother, who has an extraordinary capacity to bond quickly with complete strangers. No one is a stranger around her. I remember being at the airport once to pick up my mother from a vacation flight. She was hugging and being hugged by people who exited the plane with her. “Who are those people?” I asked her. “Oh, some folks I met on the plane.” was her reply. That left quite an impression on me, although I did not say so at the time. Being painfully shy as a young man, I wondered if I would ever develop that same ability. My mother, like Lena Horne, has seen her share of pain and adversity. Yet, those trials had a refining effect on her personality, enabling her to develop endearing qualities tested and strengthened by adversity. I find that as I endure life’s challenges, disappointments and adversities, it is also making me more empathetic, more focused on the needs of others. Much like my mother.

Sadly, as the older generation passes away, so it seems, goes the sense of refinement, good manners and social skills that were once considered evidence of ‘good upbringing.’ Being considered a gentlemen or lady were once desired achievements. Times have changed, and not for the better. Many today dress to shock, insult or titillate, and vulgarity is now common in the speech of pre-teens. People are more inclined to give you a “piece of their mind” rather than polite conversation. Lena Horne reminded me of a time when good manners mattered. She will be missed.

IT’s wild-last week, I dreamt about Lena. I mentioned it to my father and wondered how she was doing. My father began to share stories of Lena’s contributions.I would love for a movie to be made of her life. She will be truly missed.