afrobella » Ask Afrobella

Kinky Curly Comes to Trinidad!

bella — Mon, 16 Nov 2009 23:37:16 +0000

One of the most popular questions I get from my Trinidadian afrobellas is – where can I get these products you speak of? It’s true – in the USA we’ve got a wealth of natural hair goodness at ready disposal. When these products are imported and sold elsewhere, they’re often marked up to high heaven or imported in quantities that don’t meet demand.

Well Trini bellas, there’s a new store for you to check out. Body Beautiful, a brand new beauty supply store has just opened on Ariapita Avenue. I learned of this via my high school listserv — yes indeed, the owner is an alumni of my high school. Hilarians forever!

The store is offering natural bath, body, and hair care products. I’m not sure if Miss Jessie’s or Curls is available yet, but one of my favorite brands, Kinky Curly, is finally available for sale. Click here to read my review from 2006. Since then the brand has expanded to include some new products (the shampoo, the children’s line, and Midnight Miracle which I think I NEED in my LIFE). For now I’ll just say, start with the Knot Today. It remains one of my natural hair must-haves because it is THAT good.

Click here to check out Body Beautiful’s Facebook page, and if you’re in the neighborhood stop by and get what your hair needs!

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Ask Afrobella: Naturally Beautiful at the Prom!

bella — Mon, 27 Apr 2009 10:04:32 +0000

Got a frantic Ask Afrobella question to answer, and time is of the essence!

Dear Afrobella,
I love your blog! It’s so refreshing compared to other blogs that just write about products! I never know what to expect when I visit your site but I know it’s gonna be good! I’m a teenage transitioning bella with prom coming around the corner. I usually wear my hair in a wash n go style and I want to do something special for prom! My mom recommended a press n curl =(
But I want to keep my natural texture! Any advice on natural hairstyles for the biggest night of a teenager’s life???
Yours Truly
Michelle-a-bella

OMG, Michelle-a-bella! You took me back to the days when there were important! Events! I! Had! To! Look! Special! At!

Haven’t been to one of those since my wedding. LOL – no, I kid, I kid. I get dolled up for the office Christmas parties, and to go out to dinner. But yes, I remember all too well the pressure of high school graduation festivities, I can empathize with the burning need to look promtastic.

The ideal prom look is timeless. Beautiful, alluring, grown-up and modern — so I implore you to steer clear of going over the top with your look. Many prom trends can date your photos in an instant. Do you want to look back on these photos and be proud that your look could work ten, fifteen, twenty years from now, or do you want to immediately notice hmmm, that must have been the season where everyone wore asymmetrical one-shoulder cavewoman dresses with ruching on the side and big poufy Bumpits-assisted hairstyles? The choice is yours. I hope you make a wise one.

This is my advice to you, one bella to another. Figure out your look from head to toe well before prom. Try it out, figure out your makeup situation, know how you want to look. Is your dress going to be the star of the show? Great, then maybe go a little restrained with the makeup and hair. If you’re rocking a simple, chic frock, then amp up your look with accessories and makeup to die for. Often we think we need to go overboard when attending a special event. The truth is, your natural beauty is going to shine through anyway, so don’t worry about going super crazy fancy trying to learn a new hairstyle. Unless you really, really want to.

Two of your best bets for step-by-step guides for pretty natural hairstyles are Going Natural and of course, Motown Girl. She can school you on everything from braid outs to palm rolls, so if you’ve seen a particular style you want and need a how-to guide, she’s your girl.

In my opinion, special occasions call for bangin’ jewelry and stunning makeup. Sometimes an overdone hairdo can detract from the rest of your look. A feminine updo is always a great way to call attention to your features and show off your makeup and earrings.
You could consider an avant garde updo ala Janelle Monae, which could be achieved with practice, a product like Devacurl An’gell and lots of bobby pins. Again, see Motown Girl and don’t wait until the day of prom to try to pull a look like this off. Try it out beforehand to make sure this is what you want. Nothing is worse than waiting till the day of your prom-wedding-biggest-day-ever to try out some new look only to realize that a. it sucks and b. you’re now stuck with it because you didn’t come up with an alternative option or try the look out ahead of time. Don’t be that bella!

You might want to consider wearing your hair swept back in a gorgeous, highly textured bun ala Curly Nikki, who did a bantu knot-out and used her trademark floral hairpin to accent the look. I love the flowers of Ododo Designs — they’re perfect for prom, and they can jazz up hair of any length, whether you’ve got a TWA or a big bushy mane.

If bobby pins seem like too much hassle, I can’t overstate the elegance of a simple, fluffed out afro puff, especially set off with a pretty metal or glittering headband or two. Or three — why not, this is your night! France Luxe makes some pretty ones that are available on Amazon.com.

There are also some truly awesome natural hair accessories up for grabs on Etsy, so you could literally buy an item to match your dress and set your look off in inimitable style. The hairties of Naturally Sophia are just gorgeous –that safari hair tie is a show stopper! The painted copper is my favorite — so funky! And wow, that white turquoise would be pretty for a windswept wedding on the beach.

Erama’s Hair Ties are gorgeous — the peace sign and heart shaped tie are classic and the cheetah face hair tie is fly, fierce, and unforgettable.

And of course there’s Tomoka’s Twists, which were designed with a high afro puff in mind!

Michelle-a-bella, I hope that helps. I hope your prom is as lovely and bubbly as you are. Wear your natural hair with pride, take my advice and go to a professional makeup artist for a truly remarkable look (think Bobbi Brown, MAC, or Prescriptives!) and let your natural beauty shine. Oh, and take lots of photos — you’ll want to remember this night!

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Ask Afrobella – What’s a Writer to Do?

bella — Thu, 11 Dec 2008 05:30:53 +0000

I recently got an Ask Afrobella question that’s gone ghost in my inbox, so excuse me if I paraphrase. And apologies to you, if you wrote me the e mail and I didn’t respond personally. I am a total mess w.r.t e mail, to be completely honest. It’s not you, it’s me. I lost your e mail and I think I might have deleted it or something. Either way, it’s gone and I apologize.

Anyways, the question was basically from a young journalism student who was approaching graduation. She was asking me what to expect from a career in the field. The question lingered with me because I honestly didn’t know how to answer it. It’s scary out there right now. I can’t even lie.

I am lucky enough to have a day job in an industry that’s running out of day jobs. Gaze into the dark pool of information that is Romensko and you’ll see, it’s dire out there.
Tribune Co. just filed for bankruptcy. My hometown daily, the Miami Herald is up for sale by McClatchy.

Even if you didn’t want to work for a daily paper, other forms of media are being affected as well. Check out the layoffs tab at Gawker. Viacom and NBC and NPR, oh my.

That last one particularly hurt and hit close to home. Today, NPR canceled News and Notes. Heartbreaking news.

I was very, very proud to have been a eight time contributor to NPR’s News and Notes bloggers roundtable, alongside the creators of such prominent black blogs as Jack and Jill Politics, Jasmyne Cannick, and Aunt Jemima’s Revenge. Farai Chideya and the staff at the show really made an effort to learn about and understand new media, and I think it’s a huge loss to NPR and an enormous step backward to cut back on African American targeted journalism at such a moment, at the onset of a such a historic presidency and time in our country.

In other news that hit close to home, Jossip blogs Stereohyped and Mollygood just closed their doors. Like I said, it’s dire out there. It’s enough to make a person feel like a statistic — 533,000 jobs lost last month. 1.9 million for the year thus far. It’s a scary time to be in the work force. And it’s a scary time to be a student about to enter the work force. But if you’re an aspiring journalist, I do have 5 bits of advice for you.

#1 – Don’t be like me in college. I had a blast freshman and sophomore years, partied and sowed my oats and lived the lush college life. Then midway through junior year I realized — waitaminute, I’m about to graduate! And I haven’t really participated in a group, or done any legitimate extra curricular activities! Then I crowded a ton of school newspaper writing into a year and a half of school. If I had to do it all again, I would have stayed up late and went to the radio orientation at my local college radio station (wassup, WVUM!). That way, I’d have another set of skills that could lead to a different career path.

The point is, take advantage of as many opportunities as you can, because they ain’t coming when you graduate from school. If you can get an internship, get one. If you can do an elective and gain some online skills, do it. If you can get a job at your school library and learn how to do Photoshop or video editing, DO IT. There comes a point where you have to stop thinking of yourself as a perpetual student, and realize that you’re about to enter the working world. You need to set yourself apart. Which brings me to point number two.

2 — Set yourself apart. Be proactive. Get ahead of the game. Know what’s happening in the industry you want to enter. Journalism Jobs has some solid career advice, and unlike let’s say, Mediabistro, their articles are free. Look at jobs listings and think — what the heck could I see myself doing with my life? What do I want to do? Pick a few different job categories, not just one. And see what those jobs require in terms of skills. If they’re within your grasp, try to acquire them. If that means hollering at your dorky cousin Ned to get a bootleg copy of Dreamweaver, InDesign, or Quark and teaching yourself by borrowing books from the library, watching YouTube tutorials, and tinkering around by yourself, then do what you need to do. Gain some skills to pay your bills.

3 — Learn as much as you can about AP Style, it’s generally the standard. That way, when you do land a job, nobody will have to teach you everything from scratch. This is advice I wish I’d had in college – because I got a degree in creative writing and not journalism, my first six months were all about intense on the job training and repeated screw-ups until I mastered the skills I needed. If you’re in j-school, perhaps this is redundant and obvious advice. But as a green assistant editor, I had so much to learn. So take that for what it’s worth.

4 — Freelancing is brilliant and if you can include published clips with your resume, that will help you get a foot in the door. As versus to say, submitting your best college paper. And you’re probably not going to get a piece picked up by Rolling Stone or Glamour right off the bat, hotshot. Set your aspirations high but remain realistic in your expectations. Find out what your local community newspapers are, and think of what you could contribute to them. Are you into sports? Arts and culture? Video games? News and politics? Find out what their submission policies are. Send your resume and clips to the editor, and if the editor shows interest, follow up and let them know you’re available and eager and a hard worker with creative ideas. Sometimes a foot in the door is all you need.

5 — Establish yourself online (in the right way). What a difference a few years make. When I was an undergrad, I didn’t know any friends who had blogs. There was no MySpace or Facebook my freshman year. Now kids are coming up in high school with online identities, complete with potentially embarrassing photos, quotes, and anecdotes. Please believe that your co-workers and employees are seeing everything that appears on your social network of choice.

Some of the hottest bloggers in the game started their online empires while they were just students in college. So get to blogging. Pick a topic that’s near and dear to your heart, and try to find an original way to write about it. There are so many gossip, beauty, fashion, and lifestyle blogs out there, you gotta think about what’s going to make yours different and special. A blog can be a wonderful personal expression, but it can also be a great showcase for your skills as a writer. And who knows what wonderful things that could lead to?

This is an unusual Ask Afrobella, because I no longer remember or have the e mail address of the name of the person who wrote me in the first place. So I’ll just say — if you’re sailing the rocky seas of the job market right now, good luck. And if you’re a college student poised to graduate, good luck. We all need a little right about now.

If you’re a writer or blogger or in a creative field and you’ve got advice for the jobless and job seeking, or you’re jobless and job seeking yourself, please comment! In times like these, we can all learn from each others experiences.

** I got the above photo from The Root.

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Island RemÃ¨de – Brown Sugar Babe

bella — Mon, 13 Oct 2008 14:46:53 +0000

So far I’ve written two Island RemÃ¨de posts, the first on aloe, the second on coconut oil. And the last time I wrote one, my brother Dominic contacted me to say um, you spelled “remedy” wrong. So I’d like to take this opportunity to explain that no, it was intentionally spelled like that, as it was said by old time Trinidadians who spoke French creole. My grandmother did, and my mother still says little phrases too, like “remÃ¨de.” And if you don’t know, now ya know!

In the Caribbean, the hottest new beauty products often don’t arrive on shelves until months and sometimes years after they’ve made the rounds of North America and Europe. So you’ll find that women there tend to take a creative approach to beautifying treatments. The raw pith of the aloe plant does wonders for the skin and hair, as does coconut oil. And you can add good old fashioned brown sugar to the list of ingredients every bella should have in stock. Brown sugar is the bomb for so many reasons.

One of the most popular beauty dilemmas I get Ask Afrobella questions about, is dry scalp. An itchy, flaking scalp can be attributed to several things — climate change, inadequate hair products, or just plain ol’ dandruff (which is caused by an overgrowth of a common fungus, and can be attributed to increased oil production, stress, or hormonal changes). It took me quite a bit of trial and error to diagnose my scalp issues, and to find a solution that finally worked. And I gotta admit, all the Selsun Blue, Head and Shoulders, and Neutrogena T-Gel didn’t help me half as much as good ol’ brown sugar did. I gotta thank Lorraine Massey for this bit of advice, it’s been a life changer!

In case you don’t already own a copy of Lorraine Massey’s Curly Girl, you should definitely check it out. I paid less than $10 for my copy, and it’s chock full of great advice for a variety of curl textures. The blogger of Toddled Dredge explains the Massey method here, and I’ve adapted her brown sugar scalp scrub to suit my own purposes.

Once a week, I do a scalp scrub with conditioner and coarse brown sugar (I hear turbinado sugar, also known as demarara, or Sugar in the Raw, works well too).

Here’s how I do it.

1 — Part my hair roughly into four sections before entering the shower. You can use big clips to secure, or just your fingers. I don’t get technical, I just need to see and feel where my part is.

2 — Get a saucer, pile it with three or four heaping tablespoons of brown sugar, and take it into the shower. Taking great pains NOT to get the sugar wet before I use it, I wet my hair first.

3 — Add anti-dandruff conditioner of choice. My current favorite is Optimum Care Dandruff Solutions moisture rich conditioner. Honey Brown Sugar recommends Hair Mayo for her brown sugar scrub.

4 — Before the conditioner has had a chance to melt into the sugar, start scrubbing! Gently work brown sugary conditioner along the part, and especially along the hairline (where embarrassing flakes always appear). Scrubby scrub scrub till all the sugar’s gone.

5 — Rinse thoroughly, because you don’t want leftover sugar in your hair or behind your ears, or dripping down the back of your neck. Et voila, your scalp feels oh so clean and flake free.

I do this every week, and thus far * knock on wood * my scalp issues seem to be at bay. This, after months of using all kinds of pre-shampoo and post-shampoo dandruff lotions and potions. Keep in mind, what works for me might not work for you, and everyone’s beauty issues are different… but if you’ve had itchy, flaky scalp issues and tried everything on your drugstore shelf, let me know how regular scalp scrubs work for ya.

The exfoliating pleasures and benefits of brown sugar don’t stop at my scalp, I also love it when my lips get flaky (a little Vaseline, or olive oil and my lips are smooth and soft), and as a decadently delicious body scrub. To wit: Bare Budget Beauty features the simplest of recipes — brown sugar + olive oil + a hint of vanilla extract will make your whole body smell yummylicious and feel oh so soft. My husband loves it.

Sugar scrubs tend to leave the shower stall a little messy and a lot slippery, so watch your step while you’re in there!

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This post wouldn’t be complete without a little D’Angelo, am I right, bellas?

Random bonus — when I did a Google image search for brown sugar, this image came up. Very Afrobella-appropriate, no? I love it!

Do you have any brown sugar beauty treatments? Do tell!

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Ask Afrobella – Be A Bella Bride

bella — Sun, 05 Oct 2008 20:37:55 +0000

Planning a wedding can be super stressful, and pulling off the wedding of your dreams can be insanely expensive. From the catering to the flowers to the dress to the invitations, thank you cards, and favors — there are so many little details to remember, and so many bills to pay. Especially with the economy the way it’s been, every penny counts. I could more than identify with this e mail from a bella on a budget.

Let me start by sayin “I TRULY ENJOY THIS WEBSITE” it’s been a blessing…I am not sure if my question will get a response; but I’m going to put it out there regardless. I’m a DARK SKINNED SISTA; planning a wedding on a budget. I would really love to get my makeup done by a professional, but can’t afford it at this time… so I’m going to do it myself. Can anyone direct me in the right direction and provide me the name of the best makeup line for my complexion. I went to Sephora inside JC Penney and was so embarrassed after being told that they did carry colors for my complexion.. it discouraged me from going into another store. Please help !!!

New Beginnings

Hey New Beginnings, let me just start out by saying CONGRATULATIONS!!! Weddings are so wonderful, and I know exactly how excited and nervous you are — that was me six years ago. I needed a wedding on the affordable tip, and in a city like Miami, it ain’t easy. Because I had to do it all myself (ten days after we graduated from college, no less!), I picked up a LOT of tips for planning an affordable wedding.

Here’s a tip for ya — a brunch wedding is cheaper than a dinner wedding, and just as beautiful. Also, that way your ceremony’s over by like 4:30 in the afternoon and you have allll night to enjoy your honeymoon suite!

Let’s talk makeup and I’m gonna be frank — I think the Sephoras inside JC Penney suck. The selection is teeny, and the last time I went there (because the Sephora at Dadeland Mall was closed for construction), they told me they don’t even sell Sephora gift cards. They can only sell JC Penney gift cards. In fact, I’ve left the Sephora at JC Penney disappointed myself, more than once. So while I find it shocking that you went to a cosmetics store that informed you that they don’t carry colors for your complexion (in 2008?? Really??), the fact that it was one of those lame mini-Sephoras makes sense.

New Beginnings, you need to go to a better department store (or a REAL Sephora) for your bridal makeup experience. Normally I am all about drugstore makeup shopping, but for a wedding, I’d advise you invest in a few makeup staples (namely a great concealer, a powder, and perhaps a bronzer or blush), that will last you long after the wedding bells have rung. Don’t worry — you can still hit the drugstore for special-day items like eyeliner and mascara, to save money. Budget is the watchword, but you want to look your best on your special day.

For advice, I turned to my friend and coworker Raina McLeod. Say hello to Raina!

Together, we’re the calendar editors of the Miami New Times. Also, we’ve got our own blogs. You already know about my Pretty in the City — well, Raina writes the sassy sex advice column Magic City Kitty. Check her out for frank answers to your freakiest questions. Meow!

As a glowing, beautiful dark skinned sista herself, I knew Raina would have some really helpful advice for New Beginnings. I didn’t expect that she’d hit so close to a recent product review I did!

“I actually don’t use concealer at all, but when I’m feeling like smoothing it out a lil extra, I use Bobbi Brown’s tinted moisturizer. It’s nice n’ light, but gives plenty of coverage and moisture without leaving my skin oily. Then I like Bobbi’s bronzer and blush to finish it off.

I guess I’m a Bobbi girl and didn’t really know it! But I like her stuff, because it enhances my skin tone’s natural glow and NEVER leaves me lookin ashy like MAC and Cover Girl have in the past. I haven’t experimented with a ton of brands, but I would definitely recommend Bobbi Brown to the DARK SKINNED SISTA.”

Co-sign with Raina 110%. I was just raving over Bobbi Brown’s bronze shimmer brick, and seriously, I don’t regret dropping that $40 at all. This bronzer will take you from wedding day fab to everyday office chic to beach goddess gorgeous with minimal effort.

In terms of finding your shade, the moisturizing cream compact foundation comes in shades from alabaster to espresso, and the creamy concealer kit is a smart buy for a bella on a budget — $32 gets you the concealer and an attached sheer finish loose powder to set the concealer. Make a trip to your local Saks or Bloomies or high end department store of choice (ie: not Penney’s) and befriend the makeup artist at Bobbi Brown. They will be more than happy to help you and offer you makeup tips, and — if you wind up wanting to go with a professional perchance, you might even be able to make an appointment for a makeover the morning of your wedding. I always score business cards from makeup artists at department store counters. Many of them would be more than happy for a little portfolio-building side work, I imagine.

While you’re wandering around your fancy department store of choice, don’t bypass the Prescriptives counter. I have loved everything I’ve tried from this line. I promise you, you won’t go wrong with the multi purpose makeup stick SPF 15. It comes in a truly vast range of shades, and at $35, will last you forever.

A concealer stick like this is best used to simply conceal spots and problem areas, then blend, and set your face with powder.

I have not tried this myself, but I hear amazing things about the virtual matte oil control pressed powder, and you should definitely ask your Prescriptives rep to tell you all about the *magic illuminating cream potion for darker skins, which promises to “instantly imparts an image of perfection” via “three-dimensional holographic pigments” Ooh la la. Sounds like something you deserve for your big day, right? Ask your makeup artist if it’s really worth $35. Maybe they’ll even have a sample.

I have tried the blush more or less, and it’s a nice-but-subtle cream blush that will last all wedding long. Try these on when at the store, I think the shade I have is Pink Sand, and it barely stands out on my skin. Which I love for a toned down nude look, but for wedding, you want to glow.

Oooh, New Beginnings, I got some GREAT TIPS for you from a company that’s new to me. Check out deadSEXY cosmetics!

Created by makeup junkie and artist to the stars Thea Mitchell, deadSEXY offers a deliberately concise array of products for a spectrum of beauty, from light to dark. Thea’s most famous clients include Gloria Gaynor, Jill Scott, Amerie and Macy Gray, so that gives you an idea of her skills. She’s got em! deadSEXY offers products by shade, and I think it’s really cool that the products come in trios and duos. The dark concealer trio could be perfect for you, or you could get the foundation samples for $1.98 to choose your ideal shade. Best of all, deadSEXY has a bridal bliss page with all sorts of professional makeup tips for bellas all shades of beautiful. And, videos!! Thea’s deadSEXY YouTube channel hosts a variety of looks. My favorite for a wedding would be Exotic, which involved a bold eye and subdued berrylicious lip.

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Of course, Thea’s videos and tips feature her cosmetics line, so you can either purchase her products or just find inspiration in her tutorials and hit the drugstore for your eyeliner and mascara. Even if you use fake lashes, you can buy them at the drugstore — if Halloween store lashes are good enough for makeup artist to the stars Billy B, they’ll be good enough for you.

If you’re seeking additional inspiration, you can see a beautiful range of photos at
African American Brides.com. Temptalia also offers bridal makeup tutorials. I got the photo at the top of the page from The Production Complex, on that very site makeup artist Brooke Young offers wedding makeup tips.

For D-day, I’d advise you to get your eyebrows whipped into shape by a professional, and make sure you’ve got your favorite lipstick/lipgloss, a powder compact, and some good oil blotting sheets in your little wedding day purse. We wouldn’t want you to look anything less than gorgeous on your special day, right?

Congratulations, New Beginnings! I wish you love on your wedding day.

If I had it to do over again, the advice I would give myself would be — Drink in the moment, enjoy the company of your family and friends as much as you can (especially the ones who traveled from far off distances to be with you!), and have a waiter or someone put away a plate of food for you for later! I got so nervous I forgot to eat, and later on I was kicking myself that I didn’t get to enjoy the delicious menu we’d put together. D’oh!

Got any makeup or wedding day advice for New Beginnings, bellas? Let her know, or just wish her luck!

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Ask Afrobella — Love Me, Love My Hair?

bella — Mon, 15 Sep 2008 14:46:52 +0000

From painful experience, I’ve learned to avoid giving advice on matters of the heart. I’ve lost more than one girlfriend by opening my big mouth and telling her what I really thought about her man. Through those experiences I’ve learned, sometimes people might say that they want you to be honest with them, but it can be a mistake to be TOO honest. Being too honest can rip the scab off a wound that goes deeper than you realized.

Before you know it, poof, there goes your ya ya sisterhood, and the dude in question always manages to stay in the picture.

I’ve definitely experienced this enough to have learned my lesson. But here I go again. This Ask Afrobella is about matters of the hair and heart. Read on.

Dear Bella:

I’m a 32-year-old mom-to-be who started the transition to natural hair last summer. Unlike some other Bellas, I chose to have my hair blown out into a straight, more mainstream style while I transitioned. Well, I am within about an inch or so (yay!!!) of being totally natural and I’d like to wear my hair in more more natural styles. Having had a relaxer since I was about six, I had no idea what my texture was before. Even if it were the definition of what our people call nappy, I would like to wear it in its natural state, especially now that I am expecting. Between morning sickness and figuring out what looks good on my changing body, a girl just doesn’t have time to fuss with her ‘do!

The problem is my fiance. He has a severe allergic reaction to natural hair, to the point of calling it ugly and unattractive. He and his mother have gone so far as to tell me I need to “Go get a perm.” A few months into dating, I discovered that he himself would perm his hair to achieve the wave look. I was appalled, not because it was a perm so much but because he seems to dislike his own hair texture so much. He has since grown this mess out, but he still wears wave caps to achieve the wave pattern, which looks nice, but is a bit dated. It is 2008, after all!

In any case, while shopping a few days ago, I pointed to this beautiful woman who was wearing a curly afro and commented that I loved her hair and that as my pregnancy progressed, I’d like to wear my hair in a similar style, braided or in twists perhaps. He nearly lost his mind. Long story short, Bella, is there anything you might suggest in a situation like this? I haven’t read your blog long, but I absolutely LOVE it. Your vibe and advice are so refreshing – you feel like an old friend.

Shay in Atlanta.

Hey Shay, mmm mmm mmmmm. This is a tough one.

First of all, let me just say congratulations on your new addition to the family! This should be a beautiful time in your life, so I hate to hear that you’ve got any kind of stress. A new, beautiful baby is growing inside you, and you’re poised and ready to make the ultimate commitment to your fiance. But I wouldn’t be Afrobella if I didn’t voice some concerns about your husband to be, his mama, and their feelings about natural hair.

And seeing as you’re writing to me as opposed to, I dunno, straight-bella, perma-bella, or relax-a-bella, or some other blog where chemically changing the texture of your natural crown is encouraged, you already know my thoughts. I think your hair is your hair, you should be able to wear and style it however you want to. Especially now that your body is changing, your hormones are hopping, and you’re trying to take the best care of you and the life inside you.

Just so you’re completely informed, although many bellas avoid dye and relaxer during pregnancy, according to Ask A Doctor, “there is no evidence that I am aware of to suggest that dyes, straighteners or other treatments are dangerous when used in early pregnancy. Nor is there any good evidence that use of such treatments affects becoming pregnant. Little if any of these chemicals are absorbed into the mother’s circulation, and so the pregnancy should not receive a significant exposure.”

But this is only according to an online doctor. You should ask your real doctor what they think.

Enough about the physical effects of relaxer. Let’s talk about the mental.

Of course, not everyone feels as passionately as I do about embracing your hair’s natural texture, but in this case… I hate to say it, but — to paraphrase Bob Marley — your husband-to-be and mother-in-law-to-be sound like victims of mental slavery. None but themselves can free their minds. I see naturally kinky and curly hair as beautiful and so do you, but some people are just really closed-minded and conditioned to only see straight hair as beautiful. It makes me sad, especially for people who are not born with that texture, who will therefore spend their entire lives battling what their hair naturally wants to be.

It’s your husband’s right to style his hair as he sees fit. He can go ahead and get his Terence Howard on (if you don’t know, now you know), or rock a nouveau Soul Glo like Jennifer Hudson’s new fiance… my problem is not with his own styling choices. My problem is that he’s trying to impose his own ideas of beauty on you and devaluing your self-esteem in the process.

Does he love you as a person inside and out, or is he more concerned about your physical appearance? And if you guys aren’t even married yet and already he’s tripping about how you want to style your hair, how’s he going to act when you’ve got bigger concerns to worry about? Like, um, kids? If you have a girl, will he want to relax their hair at an unreasonably early age? So many questions.

This Ask Afrobella troubled me so much, I had to call my parents. They’ve been married for a lifetime, so I knew they’d have some light to shed.

My dad weighed in : “From my experience, you never give advice on somebody’s spouse, or spouse to be. However, I find it difficult to understand in this day and age how someone could go to such lengths to alter his appearance. If he wants to alter his appearance, then that’s up to him. But what is he going to marry? Is he going to marry the lady’s hair? Did he just fall in love with her hair, or did he fall in love with a person with all kinds of different attributes? This is how she has to approach him. As simple as this issue is, they need to resolve it before they get married. They’re already starting off with a conflict, and it isn’t going to get any better. You have to resolve this issue, he has to love you for who you are before you get married. I see your mother many times and I don’t like her hairstyle… but would I leave her for that, or make her life miserable? No. It is what she wants to do with her hair, and how she wants to present herself. I love her regardless.”

Cue frosty silence from Mama Bella on the other line. Don’t get yourself in trouble, Dad!

My mom also offered advice. “It’s better she’s independent now and says this is MY body, and MY hair, and don’t let his self esteem issues transfer on to you. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, not in the beheld. He should love you as you are. Punto finale.”

So that’s what I think, and what my parents think. But the REAL question is what you think is best for you and your baby. This man will be a part of your lives, and you love him, right? So you’ve got to consider the kind of family life you want, need, and deserve to have. Let’s consider your options with respect to your potentially transitioning into natural hairstyles.

Option 1 — You could take a stand and tell your husband and his mama, “love me, love my hair.” You have a sitdown and explain to him, honeybunny, I love you and I see a bright future for us… but I’m going to change my hairstyle during this pregnancy. I hope you can still see me as the same woman you asked to marry you, regardless of if my hair is straight or curly.

What’s the worst that could happen? I’d hate to think your man would break up with you over this. So maybe over time him, his mama, and his relatives come up with sassy put downs about your hair. If you’re strong in your desire to wear your hair as you see fit, you’ll learn how to deflect their hateration without letting it ruin your day. My mom and dad might not want to admit this now, but they weren’t exactly thrilled when I first laid down the creamy crack. I took some jokes at home from family and friends. But they’ve definitely come around now, though — the ones I care about, anyway. It takes time, but option 1 could be worth it.

Option 2 — you suck it up for the sake of family unity. As someone who’s been married for six years herself, I’ll tell ya — marriage takes compromise. You want to do one thing, he wants to do another, and in my experience it’s best to choose your battles wisely. This is the man you’re walking down the aisle with, and having a child with. It is just hair, right? Maybe working with him to overcome his issues, and letting him know that even his own natural hair looks good without an S-Curl or a wave cap, could be a good step towards his future acceptance.

Option 3 — don’t even talk to him about it, just do what you want to do anyway. Try this next weekend — give yourself a day of beauty and pampering. Deep condition your hair and style it the way you want to, put on your favorite outfit and make yourself feel beautiful. Let him see how you look and how it makes you feel, and see what he has to say then. It might not be as bad as you anticipate. And if he truly loves you, he’ll have to learn to love you as you want to be, eventually.

Which option will you go with?

I really, really hope this helps. Lots of love and encouragement to you, Shay.

Bellas and fellas, PLEASE chime in and tell Shay what you all think. What advice should I have given, here? What advice do you have to give? This is a tough one, right?

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Catching Up With “C”

bella — Mon, 15 Sep 2008 03:22:17 +0000

After tackling an Ask Afrobella, it’s always great to catch up with the person who wrote to me with a question. The questioning bella formerly known as “C” replied to the encouraging comments all of you left on the A Most Unique Ask Afrobella post. Here’s that comment in its entirety, in case you missed it:

“Wow. There’s so much here to respond to.
First of all, thank you, Afrobella, for being so wonderful in your response, and dedicating the time to doing this.

Secondly, the hair advice is all excellent, and I will definitely be trying/following/etc. it as I get time.

Now for the other stuff.
As some commenters have said, I really would prefer it if I were referred to using female pronouns. I see myself as a girl. Therefore it’s difficult for me to read/ hear something calling me ‘he’ and apply it to myself.

The “Am I really ready?” question. Well, yes. I’ve dealt with this for 6 years of secondary school (I’m going into upper sixth in September. Not sure what year that is in American terms, but I’m 17). I know that I’ll be happier presenting how I want to be, whatever the outcome. I am ready for this. However, to be honest, I’m not sure that there will be any problems. Since emailing Afrobella the first time, I’ve come out completely in my school. Everyone there knows now, and everyone is incredibly supportive. People have been curious, but not hostile (”Go C!!” – My school is, thankfully, not one where I’ll need pepper spray, but thanks for the advice).

As for why I didn’t want my photo/name published. Well, my full name (not Chia) is quite rare, so any references to me on the internet are therefore fairly easy to find.
Whilst I would never want to be “stealth”, I also want to be in control of who knows my medical history. Dan asked “You think they wonâ€™t notice you, when you are suddenly walking around with breasts?”

No, I’m not that naÃ¯ve, but at the same time, do you go around saying “Hi, I’m Dan, I’m gay”?
I don’t really know why I didn’t want my photograph published. Just being in the closet mindset for so long, I suppose. Old habits die hard. Then again, it’s not as if a photograph can be searched for in the same way as a name. By all means, Afrobella, publish it. It might be helpful for people to see where I’m coming from.

There was a lot that I wanted to cover here, so I might have forgotten something, but I’ll post it if I have.

Again, thanks, to everyone, for your support and advice.
Chia (C)”

I was super happy to hear that “C,” now Chia, was ready and resolute for whatever lay ahead.

I was even happier to hear from Chia again this weekend, this time with a new photo, a new hairstyle, and new experiences. The photo on the left is the first one Chia sent me, when she was understandably shy about posting photos on the internet. Now, check out Chia with her fly twists — this is a recent passport photo, so that explains the expression, or lack thereof. And she shared a sweet story about going back to school.

“There have been a couple of comments, but only from the younger years, and nothing openly hostile. I’m definitely feeling much happier, and people have been generally accepting and wonderful. A genuinely heartwarming example of this is as follows:
A small child – year 7/8 (that’s about 11 years old) – came up to me after school the other day and asked “I don’t mean to be rude or anything, but is it true that you had a sex change?”. So, I explained about my situation, and when I had finished, he replied “Is that all? Why is everyone making such a fuss then?” I found that lovely.”

I do too, Chia. And I hope that’s the norm rather than the exception. Hearing that story lifted my spirits, and gave me a little more hope for a more tolerant future — life is too short and too beautiful for hatred, judgment, and phobias against people in general, I say. Thank you so much for approaching me with your question, and I sincerely hope by you being so open and allowing me to share photos of you with other bellas and fellas out there, others can learn from you.

I wish you the best of luck, and I know the rest of the Afrobella family does as well!

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A Most Unique Ask Afrobella

bella — Tue, 24 Jun 2008 15:38:39 +0000

I keep an open mind and an open heart in general, and I hope you all know — readers of all ethnicities, hair textures, beliefs, and genders are welcomed warmly here at Afrobella. I think we can all learn from and support each other. I certainly learned alot in trying to answer this Ask Afrobella question, which truly came as a surprise. Here goes.

Hi Afrobella,

Firstly, I really like your site. Secondly, I have a question. Although I was born physically male, I feel that I am actually a girl, and next year in school I am going to be presenting in role as a girl. As part of this, I think that it would be a good idea for me to change my hairstyle; although it is currently androgynous, I feel that a new hairstyle would emphasize the fact that “this is who I am now”. My hair is very thick and curly, and I find it very difficult to take care of, so I normally just tie it back into an afropuff.

I want to know what my options are for a more obviously feminine hairstyle that wouldn’t break the bank. I’ve attached a picture so that you can see how it looks at the moment. Finally, can I request that you don’t publish this message on your site. At least, not my name and picture, as I’m sure you can understand that this is a sensitive issue and I’m not entirely out yet.

Thankyou
C

And C sent a photo which is absolutely so adorable. I wish I could share — but I can’t, so I’ll describe. C has a glorious, big head of hair that he wears pulled back in a puff, and the texture looks to be around a 3c/4a.

Let me just state off the bat, I immediately contacted C to let him know that I was down to answer his Ask Afrobella question, and I was happy to hear from him as a reader. And he wrote back the sweetest thing — “I really appreciate that you’re so enthusiastic; after all, I could have sent an email to a closet bigot – unlikely, based on the content of your website, but you never know. So, thankyou for being so lovely in your answer – it really makes me feel good that a complete stranger can be so understanding.”

It is my pleasure and privilege, C. Growing up in the Caribbean and having more than a few gay relatives and friends — most notably, Bruno, who I sincerely miss — made me realize in no uncertain terms how big and important a decision coming out can be. It certainly isn’t an easy road — on either side of the path you’re going to find people who are judging you and criticizing you, and often making life harder for you than it should be. Sometimes these people will be your relatives, or your friends, schoolmates, or co-workers. As the beauty blogger you’ve contacted with such a big question — it is my responsibility to find the best possible answer for you, and I’m gonna do just that.

If you happen to be a homophobic reader, you might as well stop reading right now — this post is all love.

C’s question was too big for me to answer alone. I turned to two friends of mine, with opinions I trust.

First of all, there’s Larramy, master of the DevaCurl curl cut. Larramy’s initial response was “Oh, I don’t know if that’s a good idea.” Not because he doesn’t understand what you’re feeling, C — he does. He just wants to make sure you’ve really thought out this decision, the pros, the cons, the potential effects and ramifications. Larramy wanted to make sure that you are planning to express your burgeoning femininity for the right reasons. Not for shock value, or to make a statement you aren’t fully ready to make. Now, let’s talk hair.

I actually filmed a little clip for your viewing pleasure, but let’s just say… I’m having technical difficulties. This will be my first of hopefully many little YouTube interviews, so… arrgh. Oh wait, here goes!

WPvideo 1.10

Why is my voice so bass-heavy in the beginning there? I have no idea. Le sigh. But hooray for my first YouTube clip ever!

That’s Larramy’s two cents strictly from the hair perspective — embrace your curls, and through trial and error, try to find out which products work best for you. I had asked C what products he currently used, and he said this: “I’m currently a bit sporadic in hair product use, as, as I said, I find my hair very difficult to take care of, and often don’t have the energy to do anything special with it. I currently have a bottle of “Sta-Sof-Fro Curl Activator Cream” which I will use to try and increase manageability, but I’m not sure whether it actually does anything. When washing my hair, I’ll just use whatever shampoo is in the shower – at the moment, that’s “head and shoulders classic clean” and something by TresemmÃ©.”

Hmm. So first things first, try out some new hair products and figure out what works with your mixed texture. Obviously, the Sta Sof Fro isn’t cutting it. Right? I must say, the products that Larramy loves the best, DevaCurl, could be great for your texture. The first time I tried One Condition, I was blown away by how soft and manageable my hair was. But C, since you might not be able to afford pricey hair products from overseas, I encourage you to just visit your local drugstore, beauty supply store, or healthy grocery, and look carefully at the ingredients of the products. Don’t shampoo your hair too often, try to do conditioner washes instead. Educate yourself about what your hair texture needs. Become familiar with Anita Grant’s products, and check out Motown Girl, she’s an incredible resource for natural hair recipes and tips. Find some cool headbands that help you show off your features more — you’ve got gorgeous skin and amazing eyebrows, C!

And my advice at the end of that clip that got cut off is, is make some phone calls, be proactive, and find the right hairdresser for you. Larramy gets me, we have fun while he’s doing my hair, and he made me realize how pretty natural, curly hair can really be. BUT — and this is a big but — finding THE hairdresser takes time, and it takes trial and error. I definitely don’t think walking in to any strip mall salon off the street with such an important question is the way to go. Look online for neighborhood salons that specialize in black or mixed race hair textures, and call them up to ask questions. Larramy expressed particular concern that not every salon is going to be welcoming to your needs as a client, C. But eventually, you’ll find the perfect person who will help you to shape your fro to its most fabulous effect.

I wanted to make sure I answered C’s question right both in terms of hair, and in terms of the crossover gender issues. Obviously I can’t fully relate to his experience, so I sought out advice from friends of mine who have more insight. One older gentleman friend of mine urged me to tell C to visit the school counselor to talk about his plans before making a drastic image change. I also think this is a good idea — I can’t tell you how much my school counselor helped me when I was a teenager.

I got a really open response from my homie Dan Renzi, who some of you may remember from back in the day on The Real World, Miami (and quite a few subsequent reality forays). Nowadays Dan has an amazing blog, and he’s editor of the Express Gay News! Dan’s an outspoken, smart, tell-it-like-it-is kind of guy. His advice for you is honest and real:

“Let me just say one thing: if you’re not “entirely out,” and you don’t want your photo to be published on a BEAUTY BLOG, which is probably the most supportive audience you could ask for, then you are not ready to pull a full turnabout and go to school as a girl. You think they won’t notice you, when you are suddenly walking around with breasts?

I empathize with how uncomfortable you may be in your own skin; but your skin needs to get a little thicker before you can cope with the malicious taunts of your high school student body. They probably make your life tough now as it is, but things can always get worse. I don’t have any statistics handy, but I have read lots of articles on students filing suit against their school boards because they were physically abused, and the schools felt they were “asking for it” by being out. Some kids have a much easier time, of course, but if you’re nervous about coming out now, that says a lot. Kids operate in a pack mentality, and if they sense even the slightest lack of confidence, they will eat you alive and lick the blood off their lips.

You are lovely in the photo, so you just keep doing what you’re doing, and wait until you are able to protect yourself better. You can stick it out just for a little while longer. And when you are ready…you’re going to get attention no matter what you do. Do you really want to be one of those sad trannies with bad wig, ugly shoes, and a face full of Maybelline? No. I say, go for big afro twists, so your hair is off the face, to show yourself off.”

Thanks, Dan! I agree — twists would look great on you, C. And when you’ve found the hairdresser for you, that’s a brilliant idea.

I hope that we all together somehow helped to answer your question C, and I hope that the advice given here will be taken in the spirit in which it’s meant — warm, honest, and real. Like Larramy said, you’ve got your own path to go on and figure out, and you’ll probably encounter confusion and prejudice along the way. I wish you good luck, and I definitely think talking to a school counselor or trusted teacher is a good idea.

I realize not all of you bellas might agree with the answer that I’ve offered to this reader. I definitely don’t always have answers, and I try the best that I can to respond to each question I get. If you’ve got additional advice that might be helpful to C, please leave it in the comments. If you think I should have answered this question differently, please let me know what I could have done better. I love to hear from you, and I love an open dialogue.

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Afrobella Asks You — Hair Help for Little Dreads

bella — Wed, 11 Jun 2008 18:10:45 +0000

Awwww. Look at this poor little guy. His mama has written me with an Ask Afrobella question that leaves me at a loss. Maybe you bellas out there can help? Here goes…

HELP!!!

I urgently need your help or the help of the community!!! My 9 yr old son (who has had locks since birth) spent the night over a friend’s house. A couple days later, he told me his head itched all day. I checked his hair only to find LICE!!! Since then, I have treated with over the counter treatments and he still has lice. Not to mention that the treatments have totally changed his hair texture. I have followed the directions (with the exception of combing through the hair…impossible). Please help, I do not want to cut my baby’s hair.

msscmoore

Oh, Msscmoore, I wish I had a definite answer for you… but I don’t. My own knowledge of lice goes little past a disturbing South Park episode. But, I DID Google this issue, and found this helpful link from MyDreadlocks.com, which suggests natural remedies, like soaking locks in coconut oil and well, “nit picking.” Also, visit Lice 911 for an all natural solution that hopefully won’t alter his hair texture any further.

This EHow article about preventing lice suggests rosemary and tea tree oil, and also has some obvious suggestions (#1, avoid anyone who has head lice. THANKS, EHow, VERY helpful), and some downright scary info — for example, #3 — “Seats with fabric on them, like the seats in most theaters, are the worst offenders for spreading lice. If you see small white specks on the top part of the seat, don’t sit there. Even brushing them off may not get the lice eggs off the fabric.” Whaaaaaa? How have I never heard that before? Oh, I am taking a little flashlight with me to the movies from now on!

That’s all I gleaned from my Googling, Msscmoore. I wish I could really KNOW what helps, but that’s the best I can do. I’d say don’t cut them off yet — try the info on those links and please keep me posted. And now, bellas — I turn to you. Got any suggestions for msscmoore and her adorable little boy?

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Ask Afrobella – Fro Advice For Trini Bellas

bella — Mon, 09 Jun 2008 11:30:55 +0000

I moved away from my homeland of Trinidad and Tobago a decade ago, and I really can’t believe it’s been that long. In that time, I graduated from college twice, met and married my husband, got a job, started this here blog, and managed to practically lose my Trini accent around non-Caribbean folks, (I feel ya, Danielle. I absolutely hate it when people ask me to “talk in your accent” for their amusement, for the record).

I try to make it back home to Trinidad at least once a year, and every time I go home I notice a slight shift in attitudes towards natural hair. Getting ignorant questions like “you could pass a brush through that thing?” from the David Woodersons I grew up alongside makes me realize — Afrobellas have it pretty good in the U. S. and A. For the most part, people don’t get in my business about my hair or clothing choices, and there’s a veritable ocean of products with which to nourish my curly locks. But recently, I’ve gotten some questions from bellas in Trini, who are struggling to find the right products, own their fro, and fight the natural fight despite words from naysayers. Here’s a question I needed some help for.

Hi Afrobella!

I would like some fro-advice. I have started growing my hair natural for the past year, I live in Trinidad and it’s very hot, so the ends of my hair tend to be very brittle, my hair is also very thick, which I love.

I have been purchasing moisturizer after moisturizer, but after I apply them to my hair one of two things happen: it either goes to my scalp, so my hair still looks dry, but my scalp is greasy; or my hair is greasy to the touch, but still looks dry. What moisturizer can you recommend for our climate? Please let it be something that smells great

Also, I use the ‘Pantene shampoo and conditioner for women of color’ and it is an excellent detangler, however I am open to trying other products.

Please advise.
Cheers,

Rhian

Rhian, your question left me scratching my head. I felt so out of touch — I have no idea what products are and aren’t available in Trinidad, or how much they cost. And I’ve read some sketchy stuff about that Pantene — but I’ve never tried it myself, so I can’t speak from experience.

So before I recommended Miss Jessie’s or Curls or something that’s bound to be almost impossible to get back home, I turned to the boldest Trini afrobella I know. Afro Chic! If you are looking for hair inspiration, check out my girl’s photo above. That’s how you do it. Bold color, bold style, bold glasses. That was her look at Carnival last year. Loving the profile on Afro Chic!

Afro Chic and I actually went to high school together, but back in those days both of us were using the creamy crack. It took me years after graduation to make the decision to stop frying my hair and burning my scalp with chemicals, and when I realized Afro Chic of this new funny blog I was reading — and of those FAB! Carnival boots — was in fact the same chick I’ve known since I was 12 years old — I had to get in touch with her to ask about her natural experiences back at home. Have things improved? Does she see more proud afrobellas walking the streets of Port of Spain than there used to be?

“I dunno if more women have natural hair now or if I just notice people with natural hair more, if you know what I mean… And when I say natural hair I’m not talking about people with a ras, eh. IMO people in Trinidad are more ‘accepting’ of you with a ras vs having a full out afro. And having a ras is more common place than people who rock a full out natural head of hair. I get people asking me if I’m gonna grow a ras or loc my hair…no I’m not, this is how I’m keeping my hair.

Women with natural hair mainly keep their hair in twists, plaits, braids and the occasional afro puff — you see very few full out fros. My mom is natural and she twists/canerows her hair EVERY WEEKEND. Most times the people who rock a full out fro are the ‘artsy’ type i.e models, artists etc.”

Well, I’ve always been a so-called “artsy” type, but I felt the pressure to conform when I was growing up as a little bella in Trinidad. It takes strength and confidence to rock your hair as it naturally grows, particularly if you’re in a conservative work environment as Afro Chic has been.

“Where I work, there was the suggestion that my hair was not appropriate for the office too…no one outright came out and said that, but that’s what was suggested. When I first went natural I used to get a LOT of negative comments about my hair which I generally ignored. But as my hair got longer, more people (men especially LOL) would pay me compliments. During the week for work I comb my fro out, pat it down and push it back with a headband of some sort and on the weekend, I don’t comb it at all, I just do a “wash and go” fro, like in that pic I sent you.”

This one, Afro Chic? Fabulous. Seriously, she’s making me contemplate a change in hair color. Isn’t that so fun for the summer? Love it!

Afro Chic has learned how to work her natural style, and how to ignore the haters, the idiots, and those who would dare touch her hair.

“I get mad when people think they can attempt to put their hands in my hair and mess it up. Especially when I’ve taken my time to comb out my damn hair in the first place! Or when I have it in its ‘weekend’ state, they think they can rumple it up cause they seeing that it’s already ‘messy’. Like I took my time to get my hair to look like this…WTF?

I still occasionally get a dotish one-off comment here and there, but I just let that roll off my back…I doh take them on. I’m fabulous with my hair as is and as we say in Trinidad, who vex lorse! LOL.”

I think even if you aren’t a Trini and don’t speak our dialect, that one translates.

So because of my basic unfamiliarity with what’s available back home, I had to ask Afro Chic what could help Rhian to own her fro. The last time I was home for a while, Mama Bella got me this Dominican hair cream called Sedal, which at the time came in a white bottle with a green top (but I suspect is actually in a blue bottle now). I liked it quite a bit, despite the build-up it left on my scalp. But when Mama Bella got me the kind with the purple bottle, it didn’t work so great. (small wonder, this kind is for straight hair, apparently.)

But Afro Chic had other advice instead — take it away, Afro Chic!

“When it comes to moisturizers I use these two on a daily basis: Pantene Relaxed & Natural Daily Oil Cream Moisturizer and IC Shea Butter Oil Moisturizer or Organic Shea Butter Hair & Scalp Softening Lotion.

I apply these products very liberally to my hair from roots to ends, and I apply them while my hair is still damp/wet. My bottle of Pantene Oil Cream Moisturizer is almost finished and I have been unable to find it anywhere recently. But everything I but is available either at SuperPharm or Pennywise and nothing costs more than TT$40.00.

These are working for my hair right now. I also use a hair polisher (Eternal or IC) on my hair to finish it up.

I have never tried any homemade stuff because I find it easier to just go and buy stuff and try it out. The most I may do is a mix products in a bottle.

I used to use Sedal when it just came out on the market and it was reasonably priced and gave nice curls, but I didn’t like how it left my skin feeling…very sticky like I still needed to rinse or something. I haven’t noticed it on any store shelves recently…they may have discontinued it.

I recently tried Sunsilk Green (AKA Captivating Curls) which is supposedly for curly hair but I wasn’t impressed and I use it now in the bathroom when I just need to comb out my hair…not if I’m planning to do a curly style…if that makes sense.

The shampoo and conditioner I’m using now is John Frieda and I am liking this product so far.”

I second Afro Chic on that last one — I am not a fan of the silicone-laden serums, but I recently used John Frieda’s Curl Around Style Starting Daily Conditioner, and I really liked it for my conditioner washes. Also, I am
dying to try the new Creme Serum Overnight Repair Formula.

So Rhian, those are Afro Chic’s recommendations based on what’s readily available on store shelves in Trinidad.

I think if you look at your entire hair regimen rather than relying on just styling products for moisture, you could find a lasting solution to the problem. Shampoo your hair no more than once a week, and do regular conditioner washes. Try locking in moisture with a pre-poo treatment — there’s excellent pure coconut oil available at home for just such a purpose — and definitely give your hair regular deep conditioning treatments. There are some common drugstore conditioners that are loved by afrobellas — Suave is really popular — I know many bellas love the tropical coconut kind, and I hear great things about the vanilla floral and the Suave Professionals humectant. Neutrogena’s Triple Moisture Daily Deep Conditioner is pretty brilliant, and another popular product line came immediately to my mind — VO5, which has undergone a complete transformation.

Now the old pomade your mom used to grease your scalp as a young’un has gone Extreme Style, and has products specifically designed for curly girlies. I tried and liked the lightly moisturizing Curl Defining Creme (which, tellingly, is available only at BuyTheCase.com), and now there’s the Curvaceous Curls Styling Mousse, which I hope doesn’t have too much of the typical stiffening properties of mousse.

Two thumbs up for the Moisturizing Hot Oil Shower Works, a Vitamin E laden pre-poo that only takes a minute (sometimes I take two) to totally soften and moisturize your hair. VO5 claims that their Strengthening Hot Oil can reduce hair breakage up to 60%. A bold claim, and if you have weak hair, worth a try. The vitamin laden Total Hair Recovery conditioning treatment comes in a teeny tiny jar that my big whirl of curls just giggled at, but that tiny jar did leave my hair very fluffy, quite satisfied, and — dare I say it? — unusually silky to the caress. Not sure if that’s available in Trinidad. But when you’re ready to do some online shopping, let me know — I have even more product recommendations for you when that time comes!

And apropos of nothing, if you’re looking for a distraction during your work day, check out this VO5 flirting game. The classic hair product company is pulling out all the stops to promote this new Extreme Style stuff.

Don’t ask me how, but I managed to kill like three hours of my weekend playing this competitive online version of The Dating Game. Silly, but kinda fun. Happy Monday, bellas!

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