afrobella » Becoming AfroBella

My First Beauty Memory

bella — Tue, 16 Mar 2010 18:17:55 +0000

My mother’s first beauty memory was one of observation. She remembers watching my grandfather’s sister, Auntie Ruby, as she sat at her dresser getting ready.

“She would always have a huge flacon of 4711, and she would dab it behind her ears and on her neck. Being a six-year-old, sitting there and watching her was so different and fascinating. Everything she had was beautiful. That’s how I remember her,” she told me.

Today my sister sent me a text.

“Can you send Dominique some lilac hand soaps? She loves the name and the smell. She is a mini you!”

Wow, how that took me back!

My niece Dominique is four years old (here’s a picture of her and little sister Isabella!) and right now Dominque loves the word, the color, and the scent of lilacs. Her earliest beauty memories are of me and my mom and her mom, I’m positive. We’re the most makeup obsessed of the family. She loves the rituals of beauty, and wants the products from such an early age.

All of this got me reminiscing about my first beauty memories. My mom always had a dresser cluttered with things I wanted to touch. But the clearest memory of my first beauty product came from going to a fashion and beauty event with my mother. The event was a product showcase and fashion extravaganza, hosted by a family friend, who owned a fancy perfume and makeup shop in the mall that my mother was always shopping in. At this event we had to answer a trivia question to win a prize. And according to my mother, this was the question.

What is the color of Elizabeth Arden’s famous door?

I answered “red”. And won!

I was seven years old!

I remember having to go on stage in front of everyone, and pick up my prize — a big bottle of Fendi bath gel. They don’t even make this product anymore — it came in a bottle that looked kinda like this.

After that, I established myself as a beauty rookie not to be underestimated! And oddly enough, the next Christmas our family friend asked my parents if I could be so kind as to help out at his store during the busy season. And my parents said YES. That’s how I wound up working in the mall, selling perfume and lipsticks and fancy bath and body sets to women at the tender age of eight.

Reminiscing about all of this is so strange, but explains so much about me today – I’ve been on this product obsessed, beauty loving path for a long, long time!

What are your first beauty memories?

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How I Celebrated Black History Month

bella — Tue, 02 Mar 2010 15:56:52 +0000

Every year we talk about Black History Month, what it means, should we still celebrate it, how do we celebrate it…the debate goes on. This year, instead of just talking about it — I got the chance to BE about it.

For Black History Month I was invited to speak at the University of Notre Dame by an amazing student group called Shades of Ebony. These girls were so inspired, so brilliant, so genuine…being around them made me yearn for academic life and that kind of environment of constant mental stimulation. Erdina Francillon, the current president of Shades, is the opposite of me in college. She is motivated, ambitious, organized, and amazing. I can’t wait to see what she does after she graduates!

Shades of Ebony planned a special event for Black History Month, titled BeaUtiful. The idea was to discuss and celebrate black beauty. The event was thrown by and for the members of Shades, and the intention was to also reach out to young girls from the community of South Bend, Indiana — girls from local high schools and even a few middle school girls came out despite the intense cold and deep snow, to participate in the event. My friends at Carol’s Daughter and Dr. Miracles very generously donated gift items for the girls who participated.

BeaUtiful was intended as a multifaceted event. Outreach to the girls of the community, a chance to speak and consider some of their own self-esteem and self-worth issues, and a chance to inspire (and in turn, be inspired by) each other.

I was brought there as a special guest speaker, along with amazing artist Dawn Okoro. Dawn’s art is incredible just on the computer screen. In real life? Oh WOW. I just want to decorate my whole living space with her work. Click here to buy prints!

We were both asked to deliver speeches about what inspired us to do what we do, and what beauty means to us. I shared my background, my ideas about the beauty icons who have inspired me, and my suggestions for living a life that’s filled with beauty.

It was an incredible experience for a few reasons. First, I was just honored to be invited to such a prestigious institute of learning. And second, this was a big first for me. Please be gentle. This is the first public speaking I’ve ever done.

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As you can hear from the response, they liked me. They really liked me! The feeling of that applause at the end…I can’t quite put it into words. It was a very, very proud moment. Could this be the beginning of a new chapter, where I do more public speaking appearances? I hope so. I feel so much less fearful than I did in the past.

Unfortunately my camera died during Dawn’s speech. So I uploaded the part that I managed to capture here.

Before our speeches, we were assigned into groups — I sat with two members of Shades of Ebony, and there were four high school girls and a middle school girl at our table. Some of these girls are experiencing things I can hardly relate to — seeing abuse in their families, getting into physical fights with boys at school, running the risk of getting suspended because of their own behavior. One particular girl who sat with me, was like a tightly closed fist at the beginning. She barely offered monosyllabic responses. She seemed so angry and tense. But after our talk, after the speeches, we broke into groups again – this time in a more intimate setting. And I do believe we had a breakthrough. This same girl wanted to share her experiences, and we were able to give her advice on how to deal with the conflicts at school that were jeopardizing her education. I know we were able to help that evening. I just hope the lessons are still resonating, and that she is now going to school with her head held high.

That’s how I celebrated Black History Month, and I can’t thank Notre Dame and ALL of the members of Shades of Ebony enough. It was an honor to meet all of you, and spend time with you on your beautiful campus.

Dawn Okoro – you are amazing, and it was such a pleasure to share the experience with you, and to get to know you as well!

Thank you to Carol’s Daughter and Dr. Miracle. The girls were so excited and ecstatic for their gift bags!

Thank you Notre Dame, for inviting me and hosting me so graciously.

I hope that this is just the beginning. It’s a year away, but already I’m thinking about fresh ways to celebrate Black History Month next year!

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Inspiration Via Maya

bella — Wed, 17 Feb 2010 14:38:21 +0000

In the midst of achievement and success, sometimes you’ll also encounter jealousy, anger, and competitive energy from unlikely sources. That’s what I’m dealing with now, bellas. That kind of negativity can be disquieting to the spirit.

On days when it gets to me, I tend to do as my mom suggests and shroud myself in prayer, or to reread the Desiderata — the poem that basically outlines the way I try to live my life. Or — as I told fellow blogger Game Well and Truly Over for his 2010 Music Project — I listen to a song that makes me feel protected.

Yesterday I found solace in the poetry of Maya Angelou. And this is probably a poem we’ve all read before, but it helped me out in a time of trouble this week. So I hope it does the same for you.

Still I Rise

You may write me down in history
With your bitter, twisted lies,
You may trod me in the very dirt
But still, like dust, I’ll rise.

Does my sassiness upset you?
Why are you beset with gloom?
‘Cause I walk like I’ve got oil wells
Pumping in my living room.

Just like moons and like suns,
With the certainty of tides,
Just like hopes springing high,
Still I’ll rise.

Did you want to see me broken?
Bowed head and lowered eyes?
Shoulders falling down like teardrops.
Weakened by my soulful cries.

Does my haughtiness offend you?
Don’t you take it awful hard
‘Cause I laugh like I’ve got gold mines
Diggin’ in my own back yard.

You may shoot me with your words,
You may cut me with your eyes,
You may kill me with your hatefulness,
But still, like air, I’ll rise.

Does my sexiness upset you?
Does it come as a surprise
That I dance like I’ve got diamonds
At the meeting of my thighs?

Out of the huts of history’s shame
I rise
Up from a past that’s rooted in pain
I rise

I’m a black ocean, leaping and wide,
Welling and swelling I bear in the tide.
Leaving behind nights of terror and fear

I rise

Into a daybreak that’s wondrously clear
I rise

Bringing the gifts that my ancestors gave,
I am the dream and the hope of the slave.

I rise

I rise

I rise.

I had the privilege of seeing Maya Angelou speak and perform her work once, when she came to the University of Miami. What an aura she has. Such poise, such presence. I can only admire and aspire to be like that someday. Her words already speak volumes, but when you hear her perform her poetry, it resonates with even deeper meaning.

That particular poem speaks to my soul right now. And maybe it speaks to an experience you’re going through, too. For those who would wish you ill, shrug off their negative vibes and ill wishes. And know that in the path ahead you’re going to encounter slings, arrows, and snakes in the grass. And still, despite all of that, we’ll rise.

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Get In My Shoes!

bella — Wed, 27 Jan 2010 17:16:23 +0000

I can be astoundingly picky when it comes to photographs of myself. I. Love. This. Photo. It was taken by amazing photographer Dan Chen, for an upcoming project that I am SUPER excited about (but can’t share with y’all just yet, but I can’t wait to tell you about!)

BTW, I mentioned this fabulous top when I mentioned my Silhouettes blogger boutique — do you like it? If you do, click here to buy it, and click here to check out my blogger boutique!

Today I am honored and excited to share an interview I did with Renae of In Her Shoes. We touched on everything from the best advice my mother ever gave me, to an average day in my life, to my thoughts on life in Chicago. Click here to read it. And if you’re not savvy to In Her Shoes yet, click here to read this amazing, inspiring blog. And click here to follow Renae on Twitter! She is a GREAT person I am delighted to know.

Thank you SO much for the opportunity, Renae! I hope you like my interview, bellas!

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Three Years of Afrobella

bella — Mon, 03 Aug 2009 14:40:52 +0000

Wow. It’s kind of crazy to sit back and reflect on how much my life has changed since August 2006.

Back when I started Afrobella, there weren’t nearly as many other natural hair blogs or websites on the scene, and there weren’t that many sites that specifically sought to celebrate the natural beauty of women of color.
Please feel free to step in and correct me for any oversight. Back then I remember regularly reading Motown Girl, Nappturality, and perhaps Going Natural was around at that time too. Beauty bloggers I remember regarding as my peers were The Makeup Girl, All About The Pretty, 55 Secret Street, and the Organic Beauty Expert.

YMIB started around the same time that I did, and I know she’ll agree it’s been an amazing journey indeed.

Since I started this here blog, it’s evolved into much more than just an outlet for personal expression, and much more than just the online version of the print magazine I wanted to read but couldn’t find anywhere. Afrobella has changed my life completely.

Initially this was an outlet from the box my job had penned me into, a platform to share the ideas that my former editor in chief wasn’t trying to hear. Flash forward to 2009, I’ve quit that job and left those restrictions behind. Now I’m trying my damndest to make this the thing that I do full time. I moved from Miami to Chicago, and have found a new outlook on life. So far, so great!

When I look back on my earliest blog posts, I see how far I’ve come and how much I’ve changed. There are things I regret, series of posts I started passionately then lost steam on, and experiences I’ve learned from. Through it all, my mission remains the same — to shine a positive light on the lives and the beauty of women of color, to inform and uplift those of us who find ourselves outside of what the mainstream magazine industry chooses to continually feature. My mission is to encourage more and more women of color to love ourselves as we are. I’m gonna keep on keepin’ on!

This morning I woke up to amazing news — I’m a finalist for the Best Culture category in the 2009 Black Weblog Awards. I’m psyched to be nominated alongside so many of the friends I’ve made in the blogosphere, and it’s a true honor to have made the list. What a wonderful validation. Click here to vote!

To celebrate this anniversary, I’m getting back to Afrobella basics. This month is entirely devoted to celebrating black beauty in our glorious variety. Like I always say, all shades of beautiful. And like the other thing I always say, the best is yet to come!

Thank you all for reading and supporting my blog. It means the world to me!

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Lucky Number 7!

bella — Wed, 29 Jul 2009 06:10:10 +0000

This August, I’ll celebrate my third bloggerversary, and believe me when I say it’s gonna be a special month. When I started Afrobella in 2006, I wouldn’t have even dreamed it would find the kind of reception and regard it’s managed to find. I am truly so blessed, and so grateful to all of you who read my blog.

Recently Konector, a site that ranks the online impact factors and audience profiles of blogs around the world, ranked the top 50 Beauty Blogs. The complete ranked list hasn’t been released yet, but I’m so proud to report that Afrobella is number 7 on the list, and “has set itself up as the beauty site for African Americans.”

Can you see me, smiling from ear to ear?

I am so thrilled, and I plan to continue doing the best that I can — celebrating you and you and you and you, women all shades of beautiful.

In other happy happy news, I was recently named #12 on ChicagoNow’s Top 25 Twitter Users in Chicago list. And I just got here!

Needless to say, that’s tremendously encouraging news for this recent transplant. Every day in every way, Chicago proves to me that I made the right move at the right time. SO happy to be here, and SO happy to be on the list. Thank you, ChicagoNow!

Whew, that’s enough good news for one post. Stay tuned for more wonderful things this month — August is going to be beyond fabulous for Afrobella readers, TRUST!

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There’s Nothing We Women Can’t Be!

bella — Mon, 08 Jun 2009 23:47:07 +0000

Consider this your daily reminder, courtesy of an old school Sesame Street clip!

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I grew up a Sesame Street junkie, and this song was always one of my favorites. The empowering message resonated with me at an early age — “just look around you, it’s easy to see. There’s NOTHING we women can’t be!”

This year, Sesame Street celebrates 40 years of excellence, and according to that Newsweek article in the previous link, it’s ranked #15 in popularity of the children’s shows on air. That’s terrible news and I blame Elmo. Just kidding (I’m a Grover stan, for the record)!

It’s true, the Sesame Street nowadays isn’t quite the show I grew up on. But it’s still awesome and the messages of inclusion, equality, and respect remain. And for classic Sesame Street fans of my generation, all isn’t lost. You can get
Sesame Street – Old School, Vol. 1 (1969-1974) and Sesame Street: Vol. 2 – Old School (1974-1979). Your kids will LOVE it. And so will you!

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Road Trippin’

bella — Sat, 14 Mar 2009 19:52:00 +0000

Road trippin’ with my two favorite allies
Fully loaded we got snacks and supplies
It’s time to leave this town
It’s time to steal away
Lets go get lost
Anywhere in the USA
Let’s go get lost, let’s go get lost…

Red Hot Chili Peppers

2009 just started, and so much has happened so far. I quit my job, and my husband quit his job. We appeared on the cover of the Miami Herald. I was chosen as blog of the day by the Sun Sentinel, and featured as a VIP beauty blogger in Glamour magazine. In the Spring we’ll be moving to Chicago, and settling into our new place, new jobs, new life.

But before then we’re taking a little break, and getting off the beaten path.

For the next few weeks, Afrobella will be on the road, heading up along the east coast to stay with old friends and meet some new ones.

That doesn’t mean there won’t be any new posts — I’ll do the best that I can to keep the reading coming, and I even have a giveaway in store! But I can’t promise a post every day, because I’m not sure where I’ll be blogging from or what we’ll be up to. I’ll be too busy living my life away from the confines of a computer screen!

I plan to document the experience via Twitter, and keep all you bellas and fellas in the loop with lots of photos and updates from the road.

So whaddya say, want to go on a vicarious road trip with me?

Below, you’ll see a Flash Twitter window, and above that you can check out my pics from the road via Twitpic.

Let’s go get lost, let’s go get lost…

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Glad Tidings of Great Publicity

bella — Wed, 11 Mar 2009 00:53:38 +0000

This has been a fabulous week for ya girl Afrobella. First I found out I was featured in an article on Glamour Magazine’s website, titled 10 Hair, Makeup and Skin Glam-up Tricks From VIP Beauty Bloggers. (YAY! I’m a VIP beauty blogger! Oh happy day!)

So today I bought three copies of the April issue of Glamour — the one with Katie Holmes on the cover — the “special super packed 70th anniversary issue,” and my words of wisdom are featured right there on page 83, 5 Genius Tips from Beauty Bloggers.

Thrilled is NOT the word!

If you’re a brand-new reader of Afrobella fresh from the pages of Glamour, there’s more in store. And to long-time Afrobella readers, those beauty tips are nothing new! I extolled the benefit of pre-pooing with coconut oil, I discussed using a wide-toothed comb to detangle hair as versus a brush (hat tip to Curly Girl Lorraine Massey for that knowledge), and the tip on moisturizing your neck came straight from Mama Bella.

Glamour has always been that magazine for me, the one I’ve always picked up first at the hair salon, one of the ones I fantasized about someday writing for. I still do fantasize about that, but for now this feels really incredible.

Thanks to Glamour for the opportunity!

And in other great news, just today I was featured as one of the Sun-Sentinel’s Blogs to Read in South Florida. LOL at their description of the blog as “a bit ad heavy.” A full time blogger’s gotta do what a full time blogger’s gotta do!

All this has resulted in a truly delightful feeling, like my hard work is finally paying off. I just turned 30 on Sunday, I left the safety and security of my job to blaze my own trail… and right now it all really feels right and meant to be and wonderful. 2009’s going great so far.

I have a lot to be thankful for.

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Thanks to the respective journalists for reaching out and featuring me, and thank you all for reading and supporting Afrobella as much as you do. I promise to keep up my end, and keep providing you all with beauty tips, honest reviews, great interviews, and fabulous giveaways!

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Rolling the Dice On My Life

bella — Mon, 26 Jan 2009 15:54:27 +0000

Remember the New Year’s post I wrote, 2009 is mine? I wrote words that were meant to inspire and electrify, but I didn’t explicitly state the kind of changes I had in store.

When I said: “2009 is MINE.

My year to grab life by the reins. My year to be the change Iâ€™ve been looking for. My year to stop wishing and hoping and praying for things that are within my grasp. MY. YEAR.”

I meant every word of it.

The time has come. I’m taking what I said to heart, and I have a big announcement to make.

I put in notice at my day job last week. My last day will be in mid-February.

I’m sure I don’t have to tell you all (or go into details about) the whys and wherefores of my decision. Just know that it wasn’t an easy one.

This August would have been five years that I worked as an editor of the calendar section of the Miami New Times. While I was at this job, I’ve enjoyed some wonderful opportunities, interviewed celebrities I admire, and even managed to have two cover stories. They’re framed and hang in a place of pride in my living room.

Because of my job, I learned how to drive, bought a car (that’s since been discontinued by the automaker, but I digress), and became a stronger, more confident person and a better writer. I made amazing friends, had crazy experiences, and discovered new things about myself and the world. There are many aspects of my job that I will sincerely miss.

So why am I leaving all this behind? Why trade a secure thing for an unknown quantity, especially in a season where job numbers are in the toilet and the economy seems way too shaky?

Quite simply — it was my time. And that’s not all.

My husband and I have made the decision to leave Miami. We’ve called the 305 home for ten years now. And we’re ready for new adventures and opportunities in another great American city. Which brings me to announcement number two!

Afrobella’s moving to Chicago!!

If you’ve been reading for a while, you already know I love the city. My in-laws live there, we’ve got wonderful friends who live there, and I honestly see it as a city of opportunity.

With journalism taking the tragic downslide it has taken, I’m considering all kinds of ways to reinvent myself and make use of the valuable skills I gained through working for a newspaper. In Chi-town, there are so many places, people, and organizations I’d love to work with — obviously there’s Oprah (hello!) and EbonyJet.com. Then there’s the Shedd Aquarium or the Field Museum, the Lincoln Park Zoo, or PAWS Chicago, the city’s largest No Kill humane organization.

Right now, Nas’ I Can feels like my theme song. I know I can be what I wanna be. If I work hard at it, I’ll be where I wanna be.

In the meantime, I’m job hunting, working on some really exciting Afrobella projects, and actively seeking paid freelance opportunities. If you’re a magazine editor, blogger, or just in need of a strong, professional writer with proven skills, drop me an e mail at bella@afrobella.com.

I can’t lie, bellas and fellas. This was a big, scary decision that took a long time to make. This isn’t advice I’d give to anybody right now. But it was time for me to stop talking about it and start being about it. I figure, I’m young enough, talented enough, and I have a lot to offer the world. And gosh darn it, people like me. So screw conventional wisdom and conservative advice — right now, I’m rolling the dice! And I feel lucky. And brave.

Thankfully, I’ve got the complete and unwavering support of my husband and our families. And you. Yes, you. Because without those of you who click on those ads and leave comments and come to visit and drop knowledge on this blog every day… without Afrobella being the strong, empowering community that it is, I couldn’t have made this leap of faith. And finally, I can take Afrobella to the next level. 2009, I’m gonna shine!

Wish me luck!

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