All the news channels were reporting on, had to do with the upcoming Tiger Woods press conference — you can read the highlights here. And now that it’s over, all the news channels are reporting on STILL has to do with the Tiger Woods press conference. Literally, right now CNN Headline News is replaying the whole statement in its entirety.

I am SO OVER THIS NON-STORY. And I really really want to know why, and when this became stop-the-press news.

I am a news junkie. I love knowing what’s happening, as it happens. But somewhere along the line, celebrity updates became part of the news. It is endlessly frustrating to me that Sarah Palin’s every pop-culture related Facebook rant, Heidi Montag’s every plastic surgery revelation and Tiger Woods’ descent into a downward spiral of sex and shame has become headline news that is more reported on than the two wars we’re currently in. I’m mad that stories about trivial things become the headlines, while stories like this go largely unreported.

Rant over. Off soapbox.

What do you think?

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From Jezebel: “What does “Young Hollywood” look like? According to Vanity Fair, it’s pretty, thin, female and white.”

From USA Today: “Where are any women of color? Gabourey Sidibe, for example, who just got an Oscar nomination for Precious? Or Freida Pinto from Slumdog Millionaire?”

From Dr. Boyce Watkins at News One: “The recent Vanity Fair cover reminds us that the minds of Hollywood haven’t changed all that much. There is still an image of the hero and superstar, a person with virtues that are pure, honest and brave. That person is usually white.”

My take: what did we expect from Vanity Fair and Graydon Carter? (On a purely superficial note, I must admit an ongoing amusement/fascination with the name Graydon. Graydon could either be an elderly taxi driver from Tobago, or be Mr. Burns’ secret middle name. I digress).

My memory is young, so please correct me if I’m wrong…but isn’t Vanity Fair kind of known for being out of touch, and frequently exclusionist? Didn’t they just post that telling cover photo of Tiger Woods? Does this magazine not thrive on bouts of controversial, usually photography-inspired chatter? Isn’t this kind of thing to be expected?

Nothing about this Vanity Fair hubbub is surprising, or new to me. And I do believe, by being mad, we’re giving Graydon and company exactly what they want — controversy, which they hope will manifest itself as newsstand sales.

And sadly, I wasn’t surprised by the reaction I’ve been noticing around the web. When author Joanna Douglas covered the Vanity Fair topic on Yahoo blog Shine, she got more than 18,000 comments. Sprinkled among those were death threats. And many, MANY of those comments expressed outrage that anyone would question the lack of diversity of VF’s photo shoot. The typical commenter seemed to be angry that magazines like Ebony and Essence, and channels like BET can feature all-black celebrities with no protest, but Vanity Fair can’t. Many commenters also seemed to think the Fair of Vanity Fair meant they were a magazine meant for Caucasian readers. And people are on there saying things like “seriously, this diversity crap is getting really annoying!”

Almost all of the commenters never considered why a magazine like Ebony or Essence may have come to be — to highlight and feature beautiful, talented women of color. The kind of women who have so often been excluded from magazines…like Vanity Fair.

These are the kind of people that come out of the woodwork on Black Voices and Black Atlas and leave thousands of hideous comments. They Google articles and websites that are dedicated to black readers, and they make them the target of online ire. They are incensed with rage that there are websites and magazines and television channels for black people, that exclude white people. And when the pot gets stirred, they will leave the nastiest, most incendiary comments you can imagine.

Kate Harding did a marvelous post on this at Salon where she underlined the obvious. “Not thinking about realistic representation is incredibly easy for white people to do — and I absolutely include myself in that — but you know what helps? People pointing it out. People saying, hey, in America in 2010, putting nine white people on a cover meant to represent the future of our film industry is backward and unreasonable. You don’t even need to go as far as “offensive,” a word that sends some people into such a “Gah, the p.c. police are after me!” tailspin, it’s hardly worth saying even when it’s true. In this case, we can just go with “illogical” or “nonsensical” or “utterly divorced from reality.” Like, what planet are you living on, where white people are the only ones worth mentioning?”

Well, we’re unfortunately sharing the same planet that those Yahoo commenters live on. These are the same people who perpetuate lies about the President — the same people Keith Olbermann spoke about in his amazing President’s Day special comment. These folks are quick to speak out about black progress, and how angry it makes them. They feel the earth shifting under their feet and it frightens them. And right now Vanity Fair is their pick for print publication of the year — despite the fact that Vanity Fair doesn’t speak to their demographic either.

I have yet to read a response from Vanity Fair itself, but finally folks in the media have started asking the girls who have been suggested for the cover, how they feel about being excluded.

Zoe Saldana, who was featured on the inside cover of
VF’s 2008 Hollywood issue spoke eloquently to NBC on the subject.

Just last night on Access Hollywood, Shaun Robinson interviewed Gabby Sidibe about all of this. And she was awesomely flip about it.

“At first I thought…hmmm, shouldn’t I be there? And then I very quickly got over it. I think if I were a part of that I would have felt a little left out anyway. Whether I should have been there or not doesn’t matter because I wasn’t on it. And I’m excited to be mentioned anywhere, and it doesn’t matter to me where I’m not mentioned.”

Shaun continued: “Do you realize that you’re such a role model for young girls who don’t see themselves on the cover of the magazines?”

“And I’ve been there, I’ve been in class with the other girls, and the teacher would say oh – to another little girl — oh, you can be a model, and you can be an actress… and Gabby, thank God you’re so smart. And it’s like, really?? It’s hard to grow up and not see images that remind you of yourself.”

Meanwhile, Gabby Sidibe is nominated for an Oscar. Zoe Saldana starred in one of the biggest Hollywood releases in history. And Vanity Fair is gonna keep on being Vanity Fair until the wheels fall off. I won’t be buying it, and I know many other who feel the same way. I’m pretty sure most of those 18,000 commenters on Yahoo won’t be subscribing to VF, either. Will any of these articles and blog posts and angry comments change anything? Probably not. And that’s unfortunate.

This is the kind of post that doesn’t have a conclusion, per se. So I ask — what are your thoughts, bellas?

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I miss the good old days. But whenever I had it up to here with VH1’s bottom of the barrel reality television antics, there was always the network’s angel – VH1 Soul. A channel I loved so much that I even cited it as the source of my inspiration on my About Me page.

Today I learned — via Music Nerdery — that VH1 Soul will soon cease to exist.

This hasn’t been officially reported yet and I’d love to hear from VH1 officials directly on this, if it is so. For now, I’m sincerely hoping it isn’t.

When VH1 Soul began, it was more than a breath of fresh air. It blended black music’s history with its present. You could see a live Bob Marley clip followed by a Damian Marley clip followed by Erykah Badu, followed by Bilal. Or Raphael Saadiq, followed by Goapele, followed by Sade, followed by vintage Aretha Frankin. VH1 Soul was a thing of beauty in its early days. Over time, the classic clips disappeared. Then slowly, awards show repeats crept in and somewhere along the way, I stopped paying close attention to the programming changes of the channel. I completely lost track of VH1 Soul when we moved from Miami and wound up with Direct TV instead of Comcast. See, apparently Direct TV doesn’t offer channels like MTV Jams and VH1 Soul. Boo, hiss.

But even when the musical stew was diluted with filler, even when they replayed the same segments over and over again, VH1 Soul provided moments of excellence. Case in point, VH1 Soul Stage. Click to watch Raphael Saadiq create his own musical memory lane for a taste. How can you cancel that, VH1?

If VH1 cancels VH1 Soul, that speaks volumes about what the network is going for. It would indicate that they’d rather support more pseudo celebrities and invest in the lowest class of reality television, than continue to offer fans a channel of music that uplifts and enlightens.

Click here to follow @SaveVH1Soul on Twitter, and click here to join the Save VH1 Soul Facebook page. Here’s hoping Viacom does the right thing by lovers of soul music.

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I love you. Hopefully you know this by now. Your music has been the soundtrack to my life and your voice has lifted me in my darkest hours. Having said that, I’d love to remind you of the offer I made in my last open letter to you. We need to make this shopping trip happen.

Aunty Aretha (do you mind if I call you aunty? Where I come from it’s a mark of respect and love. And I feel like I know you!) — please let me go shopping with you. I know you’re a beautiful woman but outfits like this right here… so not the biz.

I know, I know — snoods are in right now! I just blogged about wanting a snood this week! But the fur snood with the open coat, over your trademark sparkly dress with spaghetti straps holding on for dear life — put all together, it just doesn’t make sense.

As an animal lover, I can’t condone the fur. Besides being cruel, it can make a big girl look bulky. I’m thinking you realized that, hence leaving the coat open? Just trying to figure it out here. Because it makes no sense. I’m not gonna say you look like a Jim Henson monster (I’ll leave that to my friend Thembi), or a ghetto Eskimo (I’ll leave that to Thicksational)…but I’ll just say this — we both know you can look amazing and that didn’t happen on this particular evening.

I know you’ve clearly got your own fashion sense and I love that about you. Clearly nobody is behind the scenes telling you what to wear. But maybe 2010 would be a good time to leave the newsworthy headgear and in-your-face cleavage behind. I’m not saying any of this to be mean, I just sincerely believe that this is the time to step your fashion game up. As a plus size bella myself, I can identify with your struggle.

Look at your friend Chaka Khan — she’s working with UK plus size line Evans! And setting a gold standard in how you can work plus size fashion at any age. You can do it, Aunty Aretha! I believe in you!

Call me! Let’s get it together!

xoxo
Afrobella

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As a plus size fashionista, I’ve respected your hustle for a while now. For years you’ve produced a steady and reliable line of plus size essentials. Tees, jeans, on-trend blouses. I’ve been there as a purchaser when you respected my demographic and sold plus size garments in your stores. And when you made women’s plus exclusively online I will admit, I felt shunned — but I continued to buy. Because I knew, if I was looking for an affordable, comfortable and chic tee, Old Navy would always be there for me with the right item at the right price.

So consider me outraged that you’d try to slide in an item like this super chic belted wool-blend cape — and have the audacity to charge $129 for it.

Those are Gap prices. Venturing into Banana Republic territory.

Old Navy, what are you doing? That prices doesn’t even look right as the cape shares screen space with its outerwear peers — which currently max out at $82.

Old Navy, for years I have loved you as the kind of store I could spend $100 and at least get an entire outfit from. Maybe more, if I really rummaged through the clearance aisle. I see you trying to elevate your style game with this admittedly trendy-yet-classic cape, but really. This is wool-blend. Not even 100% wool. And for an item that’s only sold online that I can’t try on or touch…ich don’t think so.

Consider this some friendly advice from a frequent and fond consumer — stay in your lane and consider your consumer. It’s entirely possible to step up your designs and still remain as affordable as ever. I’m sincerely hoping you find a way. Until then, I’ll be biding my time until this cape comes down to under $50 on clearance. My day will come, if I just wait a while.

Bestest,
Afrobella

PS: my curvy homegirl Marie Denee feels the same way.

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When I saw the photos of Sammy Sosa that have been circulating online, one dancehall classic came immediately to mind.

There’s a few more photos on Huffington Post that show the sharp difference in his pigmentation.

The story Mr. Sosa is sticking to is that a skin rejuvenation procedure has made his skin appear lighter, and besides that the lighting made him appear significantly fairer skinned than normal.

If that’s true, then it’s a shame that Mr. Sosa had a facial treatment that resulted in such marked discoloration. Any technician worth their salt will tell you, laser treatments can be very problematic for black skin, and deep chemical peels can damage black skin. So I’m curious as to what kind of treatment Mr. Sosa may have had, so I can make sure not to ever get it myself.

Additional conjecture that Sosa may have vitiligo triggered by steroid use has been gathering steam around the blogosphere.

Among many, the concern is that Sammy Sosa is undergoing a Michael Jackson-esque makeover. He’s reportedly wearing colored contact lenses. Sadly, if Sammy Sosa has indeed been bleaching his skin for superficial reasons — he wouldn’t be alone.

Throughout the Caribbean and Africa, skin bleaching is a popular phenomenon. Products like Fair and White, So White, and Nadinola fly off the shelves throughout most Caribbean islands. Just recently in Jamaica, dancehall artist Lisa Hype defended the practice of skin bleaching and even celebrates the practice in her song Proud of Mi Bleaching. The song title alone speaks volumes, and is a mentality that I have a hard time understanding. But it’s real and it’s happening — black people around the world still seek to alter their natural beauty, often by dangerous means. Just this year reports surfaced of a black woman who underwent a questionable operation to change the color of her eyes from brown to blue. And despite the known dangers of skin bleaching — from permanent disfiguration to skin thinning to cancer — there are those who pledge undying loyalty to the practice. For more insight, check out this clip by Current TV about a Jamaican family of skin bleachers.

Sammy Sosa may not be deliberately lightening the color of his skin by chemical means — one photo can’t tell the whole story. Either way, he needs to stop whatever he’s doing that appears to be causing so much change and apparent damage to his skin color. I still want to give him the benefit of the doubt, so I hope he really isn’t using skin whiteners. But I also hope that this current outcry reaches the people out there who are risking long term health effects hoping to achieve a more light skinned appearance, and sends a direct message that the practice is sad, scary, stupid, and unnecessary.
Queen Ifrica said it all better than I ever could.

** edited November 10 at 10:39 p.m. CST — Well, Sammy’s admitted the truth during television interviews with both ESPN Deportes, and Univision. My suspicions were correct.

“”It’s a bleaching cream that I apply before going to bed and whitens my skin some,” said the former slugger during the “Primer Impacto” program at the Univision Spanish network.

“It’s a cream that I have, that I use to soften [my skin], but has bleached me some. I’m not a racist, I live my life happily,” said a smiling Sosa during the interview.”

And he’s joking about marketing the product too. I would write more about this topic, but all of a sudden I have a mysterious headache. SMH.

Photo courtesy the Chicago Tribune.

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Sometimes I do respond with an automatic side-eye where maybe I should try to be more open in my approach. I tried to tread lightly and just put the question out there to the universe, so I especially appreciate those of you who stated your dissent with diplomacy.

Fashion posts can be fascinatingly polarized. On one side are those like me, who are sometimes baffled by the fashion world’s exclusions and misappropriation of culture. Then on the other side there are the fashion apologists, who defend everything as being art and therefore completely acceptable.

One word kept coming up in the comments, and it’s a word that also came up in the news last week. Here’s a phrase I hope never to repeat:

Last week was a big one for blackface.

First, that most antique and offensive of caricatures got a big ol’ thumbs down from Harry Connick Jr. in Australia.

Now the October issue of French Vogue is continuing the trend, in a photoshoot starring Dutch model Lara Stone, photographed by Steven Klein and styled by editor Carine Roitfeld.

Le sigh.

It’d be one thing if this “supermodel” themed issue was balanced with other models of color in their own photoshoots, or if they even — gasp — borrowed a page from an old concept on America’s Next Top Model, and switched the races of the models. I tried hard to think of what would make this less offensive to me, and I had a hard time coming up with anything…but maybe if there were a model of color styled similarly, it’d defuse my ire a little. But as it is right now, I must agree with The Fashion Bomb and Jezebel — a white model painted black is distasteful and evocative of a negative chapter in the world’s history.

Yes, it’s meant to be artistic. Perhaps it’s even meant to make some kind of deeper statement or commentary. I realize blackface has a different history outside of the US, but to me this photo shoot falls far short of its goal. It leaves me wondering — why not also use a black model in this issue?

Last week, I got quite a few comments saying “if it were blackface, I’d have a problem,” that kind of thing. So what are your views on this?

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Estee Lauder is closing their Prescriptives brand. Yes, Prescriptives, the brand that catered to the specific needs of customers of color, will soon shuffle off this mortal coil. My amiga Shannon, who blogs for Pierce Mattie PR, seems to think the brand can be saved.

I want to hold out hope for Prescriptives, but I think the stars have collided against it.

Brands like Bobbi Brown and MAC tend to steal the limelight as the go-to department store brands for women of color, and despite a range of excellent products that in some ways go beyond what those aforementioned brands offered, Prescriptives was never able to capture that elusive youth market that breathes eternal life into even the most classic brands. The price point factor, the unexciting packaging, the importance of the in-store experience for this particular brand, the focus on skincare and foundation versus hot hot new colors every month to dazzle the consumers… I think many factors came into play here.

But still, ain’t that a shame. Prescriptives isn’t the kind of makeup that jumps off the glossy magazine page or the computer screen and screams, “buy me.” It’s all about the in store experience, where the range of possibilities becomes instantly apparent. If ever there was a time to stock up on custom blended makeup, it’s now.

Before Prescriptives has gone completely, I will highlight my top favorites, the items you absolutely gotta get before they pack up those department store shelves for good.

1 — All Skins Mineral Makeup, SPF 15. My luck with mineral makeup has been hit or miss, but this $32 powder has saved me through many bad-skin days. The coverage is natural looking but buildable, and the range of colors absolutely cannot be beat. If you’ve got issues with hyperpigmentation, now is the time to trek out to your nearest department store and get your skin Colorprinted, so you know exactly what your shade is.

2 — Longwear Kohl Liner. When I know I’m gonna be somewhere all day under conditions where my makeup will be tested — outside at a concert, for example — I reach for my longwear liner. It’s waterproof, creamy, gives great color payoff, and when it sets it lasts for-ev-errrrrr. Plus it’s automatic so no sharpening required. $17.50, and absolutely no regrets. The blue kohl is a deep, delicious navy that makes brown eyes sparkle.

3 — False Eyelashes Plush Mascara. For $19.50, this is a teeny mascara tube. 0.35 oz of glam for $20 might be a fair price to pay for lashes like these. I don’t ever really wear fake lashes, so this is as close as I get to that kind of drama. Two coats and I’m ready to make an entrance.

4 — Good In Bed Skin Restoring Night Moisturizer. I sincerely believe that it’s never too early to start taking care of your skin. I regret not starting even earlier! Now I’m 30 and I keep a battalion of night creams near my bedside table. Prescriptives Good In Bed is among my very faves. Supremely moisturizing and luxe, it makes my skin feel velvety soft and look luminous. $65 – not cheap, but my bellas who use anti-aging creams shouldn’t sleep on this.

5 — the Making Faces Warm Kit. I used to be scared of the blush – but now I recognize its power. A little blush can go a long way in giving your face definition and adding radiance to your complexion. The Making Faces Warm kit comes with a deep, delicious brick-rust colored blush that makes my cheekbones go POW! Love it! $55 for a kit that includes the fresh to death mineral cheek color, a loose lighting powder, and an angled cheek brush for your make up pleasure.

Those are a few of my favorite things — I definitely plan to support Prescriptives in these dark days, and I am still holding out hope for some kind of comeback for the brand.

What are your thoughts on the closing of Prescriptives? Do you have any favorite Prescriptives products? Let a bella know!

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My friend Jenny has an awesome apartment, and when we come to New York City, we stay with her. It’s cute, compact, comfortable, and smack in the middle of Greenwich Village. I love it. But here’s the rub — Jenny’s apartment is a steep 6th floor walkup. No elevator, not even a rinkydink service lift. And it sucks. Especially if you overpacked and have to drag a heavy suitcase with you.

Visiting Jenny is super fun, but simultaneously a reminder of how amazingly unfit I am. Walking up those 6 floors, suitcase in tow, is a reality check. I get winded and then some. OMG the first time I visited Jenny, I thought I was going to have a cardiac arrest right between the third and fourth floors.

I’ll be staying with Jenny this week, on my road trip to NYC. So by the time you read this, I will have already faced the first (and most daunting) climb. But this time around, I’m not afraid.

Facing Jenny’s stairs feels like a kind of challenge to myself — a barometer to gauge how far along I’ve come. And maybe you’ve got a physical challenge of your own in your everyday life — climbing the stairs to your office, carrying heavy bags of groceries, going swimming with your kids, or keeping up with them at the park — something that reminds you that you’ve got limitations to consider. Something that reminds you that you’ve got a physical challenge to overcome.

I’m here to tell you, if I can do it – so can you. But it’s gonna take consistent effort, determination, discipline, and sweat.

Last week, my 50 Million Pound Challenge post was all about finding ways to make exercise fun, and that’s definitely half the battle. Once you find an activity you enjoy enough to do (for at least an hour a day, don’t forget!), then a new mission begins, and it’s a mission I’ve failed in time and time again.

Sticking with it. Making a commitment to myself. Being consistent in my efforts. It is WAY too easy to find a distraction from my daily mission, and almost-forget what I’m doing.

The important thing is to regularly remind yourself — why are you trying to make healthy eating and regular exercise a part of your life?

I am of the opinion, that if your sole motivations are to fit into a special outfit, or lose weight for a specific date (y’know, your high school reunion, a family function, a wedding), that’s not necessarily a plan that you’ll stick to. At the very least, setting plans of that nature haven’t worked for me. Short term weight loss plans have actually burned me in the past. Freaking out about a date looming in the distance never worked — I was almost certainly near my heaviest weight at my wedding. And I’d been agonizing over fitting into my dress and all of the relatives I hadn’t yet met taking photos of me for months before. Mooning over dresses that fit years ago makes me feel too much like Ellen Burstyn in Requiem for a Dream. It’s a recipe for crashing and burning. What IS helping me, is setting smaller, more accessible goals. Taking a more practical approach to my health.

Why am I trying to make healthy eating and exercise a part of my life? Because I was putting the brightness of my future at risk with an imbalanced lifestyle. Because I know now that it’s just as important to nourish and exercise my mind as it is for the rest of me. Because I don’t need to be daunted by a flight of stairs, no matter how steep or how high. I can do it! And so can you!

What are your particular physical challenges? And how do you plan to overcome them?

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Just like most of everyone (at least everyone on Twitter last night), I watched the Grammys and was astounded at the news about Chris Brown and Rihanna. I believe I first heard it from Necole Bitchie or Concrete Loop, can’t recall which. In no time flat it was confirmed by the likes of People Magazine, TMZ, and E!.

In summary, following some kind of domestic altercation that was initially described as a “traffic accident,” 19 year old R&B star Chris Brown has turned himself in to the LAPD and was booked on suspicion of making criminal threats. He’s been released from jail, having posted $50,000 bail. Sources claim that Barbadian-born R&B singer Rihanna, who’s just 20 years old, suffered visible bruises after the confrontation. And the internet has gone buckwild with speculation. Some of the comments have made my stomach churn.

Take a gander at any of the popular gossip blogs right now, and read those comments if you want to feel your blood pressure rise. I’m not about to link to any of the posts that REALLY got my goat, but I need to get this off my chest. As a proud Trinidadian woman, a West Indian woman, a woman from the islands… I do NOT appreciate the stereotypes that are being thrown around by commenters seeking to condone or explain this act of violence. I’m seeing all kinds of nonsense. And I quote:

“He better watch himself, those island women are crazy.”

“Who didn’t tell chris that island women were nutso?”

“Caribbean women are crazy, she probably cut him.”

“That island b***h probably put some roots on him.”

“Chris Brown laying the SMACKDOWN on Carribean joints. [frank lucas voice]. My ni**a!”

Then there’s the other kinds of offensive comments, the ones that don’t just put the blame on Rihanna because she’s a “crazy island woman.” These other comments blame her simply because she’s a woman.

“She must have provoked him.”

“I believe Rhianna probably started it first and it got Chris mad. Rhianna looks like she is a ish starter.”

And my least favorite of all: “Its so stupid how if a man hits a woman its his fault and we should feel sorry for the woman. You all know how it goes, these hoes get snappy, she probably annoyed him and hit him herself. lol at everyone feeling sorry for Rihanna.”

Hold. UP.

Where do these kinds of twisted interpretations and stereotypes even begin? When did we get to this point, where we instantly blame the victim?

It’s like people don’t know what to say about this sad situation, so they’re just talking out of ignorance and stereotypes and assumptions. It seems people are saying anything to try to explain why R&B music’s it couple wound up missing what should have been one of their most magical evenings together.

First of all, the only people that presently know exactly what happened between this young couple are Chris Brown, Rihanna, whoever may have been in the vehicle with them, and the law enforcement officials who are investigating this crime.

Second of all, domestic violence is never OK. It’s never to be explained away, dismissed, or most shamefully of all, celebrated. No matter how much you may love someone’s music or style or ability, to explain away Chris Brown’s alleged crime by saying “she probably started it” or “I heard she gave him herpes,” or whatever the excuse of the moment is, is woefully inappropriate and misguided. It reveals volumes about how women are valued in this society.

A man should never lay his hands on a woman. Point blank, period.

Even Chris Brown has acknowledged how domestic violence affected his own life, as a child. He’s gone on the record as saying “I don’t want to put a woman through the same thing that person put my mom through.” Whatever went down, I am sure he can’t help but recall the environment he grew up in and surely he must sincerely regret whatever his behavior was that led to this situation. Even he would probably be disgusted at the “explanations” his own fans are offering for this incident right now.

And third — in the heat of this moment, even as fans are seeking to defend and explain what happened to their favorite stars in the face of these powerful allegations, it’s important to remember how old they both are. Chris Brown is 19. Rihanna is 20. These kids need help, guidance, and the careful investigation of the law right now. Not rumors, innuendo, hearsay, and judgment. If you’re among those who have been stringing their song titles into weak jokes about domestic violence, or leaving vehement, profanity-laced comments either in favor or against Chris Brown or Rihanna in light of what happened, I implore you to stop. Think about what you’re saying, what message you’re giving, and why.

My thoughts and well wishes go out to the families of both Rihanna and Chris Brown right now. This can’t be an easy thing for either side. Time will tell what really happened here, and I hope justice is served fairly. This isn’t just another hot-button celebrity story. Domestic violence is a serious societal ill, and our collective attitude towards it should be examined and improved.

There are some tremendous domestic violence resources online. If you’ve been a victim, or know someone who has, I encourage you to visit the Safe Space Foundation, the National Domestic Violence Hotline (call 1-800-799-SAFE), Women Called Moses, and the YWCA, or the Family Violence Prevention Fund at endabuse.org.

I’d love to hear your thoughts about this story, and if you’re new to Afrobella, I encourage you to check out my FAQ on commenting. I don’t allow cursing or personal attacks on my site, and I usually delete comments with that kind of language. But I do welcome and encourage intelligently stated opinions of any variety.

What do you have to say about this sad situation, bellas and fellas?

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