As a plus size fashionista, I’ve respected your hustle for a while now. For years you’ve produced a steady and reliable line of plus size essentials. Tees, jeans, on-trend blouses. I’ve been there as a purchaser when you respected my demographic and sold plus size garments in your stores. And when you made women’s plus exclusively online I will admit, I felt shunned — but I continued to buy. Because I knew, if I was looking for an affordable, comfortable and chic tee, Old Navy would always be there for me with the right item at the right price.

So consider me outraged that you’d try to slide in an item like this super chic belted wool-blend cape — and have the audacity to charge $129 for it.

Those are Gap prices. Venturing into Banana Republic territory.

Old Navy, what are you doing? That prices doesn’t even look right as the cape shares screen space with its outerwear peers — which currently max out at $82.

Old Navy, for years I have loved you as the kind of store I could spend $100 and at least get an entire outfit from. Maybe more, if I really rummaged through the clearance aisle. I see you trying to elevate your style game with this admittedly trendy-yet-classic cape, but really. This is wool-blend. Not even 100% wool. And for an item that’s only sold online that I can’t try on or touch…ich don’t think so.

Consider this some friendly advice from a frequent and fond consumer — stay in your lane and consider your consumer. It’s entirely possible to step up your designs and still remain as affordable as ever. I’m sincerely hoping you find a way. Until then, I’ll be biding my time until this cape comes down to under $50 on clearance. My day will come, if I just wait a while.

Bestest,
Afrobella

PS: my curvy homegirl Marie Denee feels the same way.

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When I saw the photos of Sammy Sosa that have been circulating online, one dancehall classic came immediately to mind.

There’s a few more photos on Huffington Post that show the sharp difference in his pigmentation.

The story Mr. Sosa is sticking to is that a skin rejuvenation procedure has made his skin appear lighter, and besides that the lighting made him appear significantly fairer skinned than normal.

If that’s true, then it’s a shame that Mr. Sosa had a facial treatment that resulted in such marked discoloration. Any technician worth their salt will tell you, laser treatments can be very problematic for black skin, and deep chemical peels can damage black skin. So I’m curious as to what kind of treatment Mr. Sosa may have had, so I can make sure not to ever get it myself.

Additional conjecture that Sosa may have vitiligo triggered by steroid use has been gathering steam around the blogosphere.

Among many, the concern is that Sammy Sosa is undergoing a Michael Jackson-esque makeover. He’s reportedly wearing colored contact lenses. Sadly, if Sammy Sosa has indeed been bleaching his skin for superficial reasons — he wouldn’t be alone.

Throughout the Caribbean and Africa, skin bleaching is a popular phenomenon. Products like Fair and White, So White, and Nadinola fly off the shelves throughout most Caribbean islands. Just recently in Jamaica, dancehall artist Lisa Hype defended the practice of skin bleaching and even celebrates the practice in her song Proud of Mi Bleaching. The song title alone speaks volumes, and is a mentality that I have a hard time understanding. But it’s real and it’s happening — black people around the world still seek to alter their natural beauty, often by dangerous means. Just this year reports surfaced of a black woman who underwent a questionable operation to change the color of her eyes from brown to blue. And despite the known dangers of skin bleaching — from permanent disfiguration to skin thinning to cancer — there are those who pledge undying loyalty to the practice. For more insight, check out this clip by Current TV about a Jamaican family of skin bleachers.

Sammy Sosa may not be deliberately lightening the color of his skin by chemical means — one photo can’t tell the whole story. Either way, he needs to stop whatever he’s doing that appears to be causing so much change and apparent damage to his skin color. I still want to give him the benefit of the doubt, so I hope he really isn’t using skin whiteners. But I also hope that this current outcry reaches the people out there who are risking long term health effects hoping to achieve a more light skinned appearance, and sends a direct message that the practice is sad, scary, stupid, and unnecessary.
Queen Ifrica said it all better than I ever could.

** edited November 10 at 10:39 p.m. CST — Well, Sammy’s admitted the truth during television interviews with both ESPN Deportes, and Univision. My suspicions were correct.

“”It’s a bleaching cream that I apply before going to bed and whitens my skin some,” said the former slugger during the “Primer Impacto” program at the Univision Spanish network.

“It’s a cream that I have, that I use to soften [my skin], but has bleached me some. I’m not a racist, I live my life happily,” said a smiling Sosa during the interview.”

And he’s joking about marketing the product too. I would write more about this topic, but all of a sudden I have a mysterious headache. SMH.

Photo courtesy the Chicago Tribune.

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Sometimes I do respond with an automatic side-eye where maybe I should try to be more open in my approach. I tried to tread lightly and just put the question out there to the universe, so I especially appreciate those of you who stated your dissent with diplomacy.

Fashion posts can be fascinatingly polarized. On one side are those like me, who are sometimes baffled by the fashion world’s exclusions and misappropriation of culture. Then on the other side there are the fashion apologists, who defend everything as being art and therefore completely acceptable.

One word kept coming up in the comments, and it’s a word that also came up in the news last week. Here’s a phrase I hope never to repeat:

Last week was a big one for blackface.

First, that most antique and offensive of caricatures got a big ol’ thumbs down from Harry Connick Jr. in Australia.

Now the October issue of French Vogue is continuing the trend, in a photoshoot starring Dutch model Lara Stone, photographed by Steven Klein and styled by editor Carine Roitfeld.

Le sigh.

It’d be one thing if this “supermodel” themed issue was balanced with other models of color in their own photoshoots, or if they even — gasp — borrowed a page from an old concept on America’s Next Top Model, and switched the races of the models. I tried hard to think of what would make this less offensive to me, and I had a hard time coming up with anything…but maybe if there were a model of color styled similarly, it’d defuse my ire a little. But as it is right now, I must agree with The Fashion Bomb and Jezebel — a white model painted black is distasteful and evocative of a negative chapter in the world’s history.

Yes, it’s meant to be artistic. Perhaps it’s even meant to make some kind of deeper statement or commentary. I realize blackface has a different history outside of the US, but to me this photo shoot falls far short of its goal. It leaves me wondering — why not also use a black model in this issue?

Last week, I got quite a few comments saying “if it were blackface, I’d have a problem,” that kind of thing. So what are your views on this?

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Estee Lauder is closing their Prescriptives brand. Yes, Prescriptives, the brand that catered to the specific needs of customers of color, will soon shuffle off this mortal coil. My amiga Shannon, who blogs for Pierce Mattie PR, seems to think the brand can be saved.

I want to hold out hope for Prescriptives, but I think the stars have collided against it.

Brands like Bobbi Brown and MAC tend to steal the limelight as the go-to department store brands for women of color, and despite a range of excellent products that in some ways go beyond what those aforementioned brands offered, Prescriptives was never able to capture that elusive youth market that breathes eternal life into even the most classic brands. The price point factor, the unexciting packaging, the importance of the in-store experience for this particular brand, the focus on skincare and foundation versus hot hot new colors every month to dazzle the consumers… I think many factors came into play here.

But still, ain’t that a shame. Prescriptives isn’t the kind of makeup that jumps off the glossy magazine page or the computer screen and screams, “buy me.” It’s all about the in store experience, where the range of possibilities becomes instantly apparent. If ever there was a time to stock up on custom blended makeup, it’s now.

Before Prescriptives has gone completely, I will highlight my top favorites, the items you absolutely gotta get before they pack up those department store shelves for good.

1 — All Skins Mineral Makeup, SPF 15. My luck with mineral makeup has been hit or miss, but this $32 powder has saved me through many bad-skin days. The coverage is natural looking but buildable, and the range of colors absolutely cannot be beat. If you’ve got issues with hyperpigmentation, now is the time to trek out to your nearest department store and get your skin Colorprinted, so you know exactly what your shade is.

2 — Longwear Kohl Liner. When I know I’m gonna be somewhere all day under conditions where my makeup will be tested — outside at a concert, for example — I reach for my longwear liner. It’s waterproof, creamy, gives great color payoff, and when it sets it lasts for-ev-errrrrr. Plus it’s automatic so no sharpening required. $17.50, and absolutely no regrets. The blue kohl is a deep, delicious navy that makes brown eyes sparkle.

3 — False Eyelashes Plush Mascara. For $19.50, this is a teeny mascara tube. 0.35 oz of glam for $20 might be a fair price to pay for lashes like these. I don’t ever really wear fake lashes, so this is as close as I get to that kind of drama. Two coats and I’m ready to make an entrance.

4 — Good In Bed Skin Restoring Night Moisturizer. I sincerely believe that it’s never too early to start taking care of your skin. I regret not starting even earlier! Now I’m 30 and I keep a battalion of night creams near my bedside table. Prescriptives Good In Bed is among my very faves. Supremely moisturizing and luxe, it makes my skin feel velvety soft and look luminous. $65 – not cheap, but my bellas who use anti-aging creams shouldn’t sleep on this.

5 — the Making Faces Warm Kit. I used to be scared of the blush – but now I recognize its power. A little blush can go a long way in giving your face definition and adding radiance to your complexion. The Making Faces Warm kit comes with a deep, delicious brick-rust colored blush that makes my cheekbones go POW! Love it! $55 for a kit that includes the fresh to death mineral cheek color, a loose lighting powder, and an angled cheek brush for your make up pleasure.

Those are a few of my favorite things — I definitely plan to support Prescriptives in these dark days, and I am still holding out hope for some kind of comeback for the brand.

What are your thoughts on the closing of Prescriptives? Do you have any favorite Prescriptives products? Let a bella know!

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My friend Jenny has an awesome apartment, and when we come to New York City, we stay with her. It’s cute, compact, comfortable, and smack in the middle of Greenwich Village. I love it. But here’s the rub — Jenny’s apartment is a steep 6th floor walkup. No elevator, not even a rinkydink service lift. And it sucks. Especially if you overpacked and have to drag a heavy suitcase with you.

Visiting Jenny is super fun, but simultaneously a reminder of how amazingly unfit I am. Walking up those 6 floors, suitcase in tow, is a reality check. I get winded and then some. OMG the first time I visited Jenny, I thought I was going to have a cardiac arrest right between the third and fourth floors.

I’ll be staying with Jenny this week, on my road trip to NYC. So by the time you read this, I will have already faced the first (and most daunting) climb. But this time around, I’m not afraid.

Facing Jenny’s stairs feels like a kind of challenge to myself — a barometer to gauge how far along I’ve come. And maybe you’ve got a physical challenge of your own in your everyday life — climbing the stairs to your office, carrying heavy bags of groceries, going swimming with your kids, or keeping up with them at the park — something that reminds you that you’ve got limitations to consider. Something that reminds you that you’ve got a physical challenge to overcome.

I’m here to tell you, if I can do it – so can you. But it’s gonna take consistent effort, determination, discipline, and sweat.

Last week, my 50 Million Pound Challenge post was all about finding ways to make exercise fun, and that’s definitely half the battle. Once you find an activity you enjoy enough to do (for at least an hour a day, don’t forget!), then a new mission begins, and it’s a mission I’ve failed in time and time again.

Sticking with it. Making a commitment to myself. Being consistent in my efforts. It is WAY too easy to find a distraction from my daily mission, and almost-forget what I’m doing.

The important thing is to regularly remind yourself — why are you trying to make healthy eating and regular exercise a part of your life?

I am of the opinion, that if your sole motivations are to fit into a special outfit, or lose weight for a specific date (y’know, your high school reunion, a family function, a wedding), that’s not necessarily a plan that you’ll stick to. At the very least, setting plans of that nature haven’t worked for me. Short term weight loss plans have actually burned me in the past. Freaking out about a date looming in the distance never worked — I was almost certainly near my heaviest weight at my wedding. And I’d been agonizing over fitting into my dress and all of the relatives I hadn’t yet met taking photos of me for months before. Mooning over dresses that fit years ago makes me feel too much like Ellen Burstyn in Requiem for a Dream. It’s a recipe for crashing and burning. What IS helping me, is setting smaller, more accessible goals. Taking a more practical approach to my health.

Why am I trying to make healthy eating and exercise a part of my life? Because I was putting the brightness of my future at risk with an imbalanced lifestyle. Because I know now that it’s just as important to nourish and exercise my mind as it is for the rest of me. Because I don’t need to be daunted by a flight of stairs, no matter how steep or how high. I can do it! And so can you!

What are your particular physical challenges? And how do you plan to overcome them?

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Just like most of everyone (at least everyone on Twitter last night), I watched the Grammys and was astounded at the news about Chris Brown and Rihanna. I believe I first heard it from Necole Bitchie or Concrete Loop, can’t recall which. In no time flat it was confirmed by the likes of People Magazine, TMZ, and E!.

In summary, following some kind of domestic altercation that was initially described as a “traffic accident,” 19 year old R&B star Chris Brown has turned himself in to the LAPD and was booked on suspicion of making criminal threats. He’s been released from jail, having posted $50,000 bail. Sources claim that Barbadian-born R&B singer Rihanna, who’s just 20 years old, suffered visible bruises after the confrontation. And the internet has gone buckwild with speculation. Some of the comments have made my stomach churn.

Take a gander at any of the popular gossip blogs right now, and read those comments if you want to feel your blood pressure rise. I’m not about to link to any of the posts that REALLY got my goat, but I need to get this off my chest. As a proud Trinidadian woman, a West Indian woman, a woman from the islands… I do NOT appreciate the stereotypes that are being thrown around by commenters seeking to condone or explain this act of violence. I’m seeing all kinds of nonsense. And I quote:

“He better watch himself, those island women are crazy.”

“Who didn’t tell chris that island women were nutso?”

“Caribbean women are crazy, she probably cut him.”

“That island b***h probably put some roots on him.”

“Chris Brown laying the SMACKDOWN on Carribean joints. [frank lucas voice]. My ni**a!”

Then there’s the other kinds of offensive comments, the ones that don’t just put the blame on Rihanna because she’s a “crazy island woman.” These other comments blame her simply because she’s a woman.

“She must have provoked him.”

“I believe Rhianna probably started it first and it got Chris mad. Rhianna looks like she is a ish starter.”

And my least favorite of all: “Its so stupid how if a man hits a woman its his fault and we should feel sorry for the woman. You all know how it goes, these hoes get snappy, she probably annoyed him and hit him herself. lol at everyone feeling sorry for Rihanna.”

Hold. UP.

Where do these kinds of twisted interpretations and stereotypes even begin? When did we get to this point, where we instantly blame the victim?

It’s like people don’t know what to say about this sad situation, so they’re just talking out of ignorance and stereotypes and assumptions. It seems people are saying anything to try to explain why R&B music’s it couple wound up missing what should have been one of their most magical evenings together.

First of all, the only people that presently know exactly what happened between this young couple are Chris Brown, Rihanna, whoever may have been in the vehicle with them, and the law enforcement officials who are investigating this crime.

Second of all, domestic violence is never OK. It’s never to be explained away, dismissed, or most shamefully of all, celebrated. No matter how much you may love someone’s music or style or ability, to explain away Chris Brown’s alleged crime by saying “she probably started it” or “I heard she gave him herpes,” or whatever the excuse of the moment is, is woefully inappropriate and misguided. It reveals volumes about how women are valued in this society.

A man should never lay his hands on a woman. Point blank, period.

Even Chris Brown has acknowledged how domestic violence affected his own life, as a child. He’s gone on the record as saying “I don’t want to put a woman through the same thing that person put my mom through.” Whatever went down, I am sure he can’t help but recall the environment he grew up in and surely he must sincerely regret whatever his behavior was that led to this situation. Even he would probably be disgusted at the “explanations” his own fans are offering for this incident right now.

And third — in the heat of this moment, even as fans are seeking to defend and explain what happened to their favorite stars in the face of these powerful allegations, it’s important to remember how old they both are. Chris Brown is 19. Rihanna is 20. These kids need help, guidance, and the careful investigation of the law right now. Not rumors, innuendo, hearsay, and judgment. If you’re among those who have been stringing their song titles into weak jokes about domestic violence, or leaving vehement, profanity-laced comments either in favor or against Chris Brown or Rihanna in light of what happened, I implore you to stop. Think about what you’re saying, what message you’re giving, and why.

My thoughts and well wishes go out to the families of both Rihanna and Chris Brown right now. This can’t be an easy thing for either side. Time will tell what really happened here, and I hope justice is served fairly. This isn’t just another hot-button celebrity story. Domestic violence is a serious societal ill, and our collective attitude towards it should be examined and improved.

There are some tremendous domestic violence resources online. If you’ve been a victim, or know someone who has, I encourage you to visit the Safe Space Foundation, the National Domestic Violence Hotline (call 1-800-799-SAFE), Women Called Moses, and the YWCA, or the Family Violence Prevention Fund at endabuse.org.

I’d love to hear your thoughts about this story, and if you’re new to Afrobella, I encourage you to check out my FAQ on commenting. I don’t allow cursing or personal attacks on my site, and I usually delete comments with that kind of language. But I do welcome and encourage intelligently stated opinions of any variety.

What do you have to say about this sad situation, bellas and fellas?

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Case in point, this article from The Root which just might give you a headache if you’re sensitive to these issues, like I am. Oh, and thanks to my amiga Nichelle of 55 Secret Street, Anovelista, and Revenge of the Curves for sharing this story with me, headache inducing as it was.

Nick Charles tells the background story of New In Town, a ghastly-looking and terribly reviewed
rom-com starring frequent star of ghastly-looking, terribly-reviewed rom-coms, Renee Zellweger. Jezebel shone a light on the reviews, which, if you love to read nasty movie reviews, are like comedy gold.

But The Root reveals, this was meant to be a different sort of chick flick.

“…With this romantic comedy, which opens today and stars Zellweger and Harry Connick Jr., the lead was supposed to be a black actress and the writer had someone in mind from the very beginning. “I initially wanted Angela Bassett,” says Kenneth Rance, the screenwriter. “I’m a big fan of her work. And Gabrielle Union was initially cast.”

Wait a minute. Are you KIDDING me?

New In Town was intended to be an entirely different movie, with a much less obvious plot. A plot rarely seen in Hollywood. And yes, because of fear? Myopia? Prejudice? a role that could have been played by a supremely talented actress of color, went to an actress who, as the San Francisco Chronicle says, “takes an otherwise passable mainstream comedy and all but ruins it with her lack of effort. The script may not have been “Cinderella Man” or “Cold Mountain,” but audience members are still going to pay the same $10.50 ticket price to see her perform. The least she could do is not deliver her lines as if she were reading them from cue cards.”

Ugh.

Meanwhile, Angela Bassett continues to work. She recently raked in some box office bucks in Tyler Perry’s Meet the Browns, and as BIG’s mom in Notorious. She plays a recurring role on ER, and in this recent LA Times piece, it appears that she’s loving life. She has no reason to be mad about this. But I’m kinda mad on her behalf. I’m mad as a black woman who likes to go to the movies, and would love to see more black actresses get their moments to shine as more than just the sassy friend. I’m mad that Hollywood always does the predictable thing, shafting talented actors and actresses and expecting moviegoers to pony up cash for more of the same.

What say you?

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About time if you ask me.

As someone with more than a passing interest in dolls and playthings for children of color, I was seriously disheartened by the cynical and exploitative move by Ty Inc. from the get-go.

In case you missed this story, here’s what went down. After releasing the dolls and upsetting the First Lady, Ty tried to deny the dolls were named after the Obama girls in the first place. This despite obvious in-store displays indicating otherwise. In response to the controversy, Ty put the dolls into retirement — no wait, the just went ahead and renamed them. Now instead of “Marvelous Malia” and “Sweet Sasha,” the Ty Girlz collection will include “Marvelous Mariah” and “Sweet Sydney.”

Cynics could argue that Ty got what they wanted out of this deal (headlines, attention, sales) and collectors are spending beaucoup bucks on these newly pulled-from-the-shelves collectors items. Game, set, Ty.

As the President and First Lady, Barack and Michelle Obama have elected for a life as public figures, and that comes with commemorative coins, teeshirts, calendars, and collectibles. But their children haven’t. I love that two little black girls are living in the White House, but when cameras follow them to school or news anchors reveal what they have for lunch every day or what toys they’re playing with, it irks me. They’re America’s first family, but we need to fall back and let these kids be kids. I sincerely hope that they get that opportunity.

I liked the anecdote that Emily Bazelon of Slate revealed at the end of her Obama doll article:

“I heard a reassuring story, third-hand, along these lines: Soon after Sasha showed up for school, the mother of one of the boys in her class couldn’t resist pumping her son for details. What was the president’s daughter like? His answer went something like, “I don’t know. She’s a girl. I don’t talk to girls.” That’s the best news I’ve heard yet about Barack Obama’s girls since they moved to the White House.”

That’s how it should be at school. These kids shouldn’t be regarded as little celebs, they need to live life and make friends just like regular kids do.

Like the rest of the world, I’m absolutely fascinated by Sasha and Malia and their dog and their clothes and their seemingly magical lives. I can’t wait to watch them grow up before my eyes. But they aren’t our little dolls. They’re not little commodities. They’re real children. Lord have mercy, I just imagine how I might have acted at that age, in their position. It wouldn’t have been pretty, or doll-like, or befitting of my father’s new job.

Real kids get cranky and tired, they might act bratty or misbehave, and they need the caring attention and guiding hands of their parents, not the burning eyes of a curious nation, or the grasping hands of companies seeking to exploit their image.

But that’s just my opinion. What’s yours?

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I am still so proud that America saw beyond race and chose the man I considered to be the best candidate — Barack Obama — to be the next President of the United States.

His victory sends a huge message to the world, that America is indeed a country of tremendous opportunity and promise. The struggles of folks like the Lovings — and Barack Obama’s own parents who surely faced judgment for their relationship in their time as well — have paid off in visible and real ways. We have come so far in terms of civil rights, and this past election was proof of that.

But in terms of equal rights, I believe that this country just took a real step backwards — in Arkansas, where a law passed to prevent unmarried couples from adopting or serving as foster parents, in California with the passage of Proposition 8, and in my state of Florida where Amendment 2 passed. As someone who’s in a marriage that would have once been deemed illegal, I find the parallels between this country’s attitude towards interracial marriage and same-sex marriage to be dismaying and disheartening. And I am not alone — the late Mildred Loving felt the same way, and spoke out in favor of same-sex marriage before she passed away this year. “I believe all Americans, no matter their race, no matter their sex, no matter their sexual orientation, should have that same freedom to marry… That’s what Loving, and loving, are all about,” she declared.

Growing up in the Caribbean, I think I’ve heard just about every argument against homosexuality, every derisive slur, every religious condemnation. Sometimes it feels pointless to argue against people who believe insane things, who act like somehow being gay makes you less of a person. All I can do is assume that they didn’t grow up around gay people. They didn’t have gay relatives or friends. They couldn’t have — otherwise they’d understand that being gay is not a choice. It’s not something you wake up and decide to be, to be shocking or edgy. It is who you are born to be, same as I was born to be a black woman. They would understand that gay, straight, black, white, Latin, Asian, whatever you are – people are people, with the same emotions and needs that we all have.

Seeing the subtle and not-so-subtle discrimination that my gay friends and relatives have endured has had an effect on me. It’s made me jaded towards the “religious” arguments against homosexuality.

I can’t fully understand how someone could call themselves Christians, or spiritual, or “good people,” and say that they believe in a loving and just God, but then simultaneously pour down such fire and brimstone judgment on others because of their sexual orientation. It reveals stunning hypocrisy, in my view.

I have noticed that those who condemn homosexuality tend to pick and choose their Biblical verses very carefully. The verses chosen always come from The Book of Isaiah, or Kings, or Leviticus. Very seldom do these folks consider Matthew, chapter 7 verse 12, the Golden Rule, in their arguments — “Therefore all things whatsoever ye would that men should do to you, do ye even so to them.” Or John chapter 8 verse 7 — let he who is without sin, cast the first stone.

I guess these people consider themselves to be without sin, and therefore capable of judging others. But to be really real with you — I don’t believe religious arguments should even matter in this arena. In a country that purports to embrace the separation of church and state, I honestly don’t get how the California Supreme Court decision that recognized same-sex marriage in California as an equal right could be overridden. It is disturbing and scary to me that the rights already granted to the citizens of California could even be taken away, even by a popular vote. I can’t imagine how it would make me feel, if Loving v. Virginia was somehow, someday revoked.

Marriage is such a special commitment. But according to information at DivorceRate.org, 50% percent of first marriages, 67% of second and 74% of third marriages end in divorce. There are drive through wedding chapels, so if you’re wasted and whimsical in Vegas you can make two bad decisions at once. I’ve known people — Catholics, mind you! — who have had two or three divorces. We watch and cackle at reality television competitions that steer couples towards the altar and end with a rose ceremony — and often, a ring and an on-bended-knee proposal of marriage. So it makes me laugh when straight people say things like marriage is sacred, when it’s been made into such a mockery by so many.

Then you’ll hear arguments like, “I don’t have a problem with gay people, let them be together… call it a civil union, just don’t call it marriage.” Why not? I don’t believe that allowing same sex couples to get married in any way diminishes my own marriage. How on earth would granting the right of a man and another man, or a woman and another woman to be legally joined, affect me? Quite simply, it doesn’t.

I agreed completely with Keith Olbermann’s special comment on Prop 8. I thought his passion was palpable, his words eloquent, and his meaning clear.

I believe that love is love. And people are people. I believe that if two consenting adults love each other and want to get married, they should be able to.

In the meantime, the Proposition 8 movement is provoking expression from wonderful and unexpected sources. Brilliant comedian and former Afrobella of the Week Wanda Sykes had spoken out humorously about gay marriage before, in her stand up special. But because of Prop 8, she is now one of very few black celebrities I can think of who has come out of the closet. Wanda just revealed that she herself has a wife. And I bet they are an adorable couple!

In Wanda’s own words: “Gay is not a choice. That’s like telling me I chose to be a woman, I chose to be black…I am proud to be a woman, I’m proud to be a black woman, and I’m proud to be gay. Now let’s go and get our damn equal rights!”

Anna Quindlen’s great Newsweek essay, The Loving Decision outlines the similarities, and reveals the inevitiability that someday soon, there will be a Loving vs. Virginia for same sex marriage. It’s only a matter of time. Someday, it will seem crazy that same sex marriage was once deemed illegal. Someday. In the meantime, we’re in for more protests and anger, heartbreak and struggle, here in America the land of the free and the home of the brave.

I am not a blogger of color alone in lamenting the passage of Prop 8 and Amendment 2. Jack and Jill Politics, Pam’s House Blend, Incredible Juju, Racialicious, Acts of Faith, That Girl Has Issues, Noctuary, and Simply Fred Smith all did wonderful, informative, eloquent posts examining race and it’s place in the passage of Prop 8. They are all worth a read. And FYI, I got the photo above from this pro-same sex marriage Facebook group.

I expect this to be the kind of post that provokes comments with vastly differing opinions. Please feel free to express yours, but I ask that you remain respectful in doing so.

What are your views on this very hot button issue, bellas and fellas?

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I’ve been thinking about Jennifer Hudson all weekend long. It’s one thing to lose a parent. But to lose your mother and brother under such awful, awful circumstances…. just dealing with that alone would be crushing. Add to that the fact that they don’t yet know where her 7 year old nephew is just beyond. My prayers go out to the Hudson family, and most especially to Jennifer.

Reality television is so crazy. Fame must be so bizarre. Fans watched J.Hud from season 3 of Idol — who could forget that audition? And because of the fact that we rooted for her, called and voted for her, and watched her blossom from unpolished American Idol contestant to Academy Award winning starlet honored with her own day in the city of Chicago — it’s easy to feel like we personally know her.

Jennifer Hudson has worked hard to prove herself, and has become a bankable star in blockbuster movies like Sex and the City and The Secret Life of Bees. Her latest album has produced a hit song. In the midst of all of that success, has come the most unimaginable tragedy.

I wish I could just give her a hug right now.

I’m sure many of her famous friends are coming forth to offer their support. Her film co-stars including Queen Latifah and Sarah Jessica Parker, presidential candidate Barack Obama, and even New York have already offered sincere condolences.

Fans are leaving supportive comments on her YouTube channel, and on her official website, there’s a statement that now rings even sadder.

CNN and WLS just reported that the body of a child was found this morning, in the vehicle that was missing from Jennifer Hudson’s family.

My heart breaks for the Hudson family. Jennifer, your fans around the world are praying for you right now.

** edited Sunday November 2 at 11 a.m. — In the wake of the tragic deaths of Darnell Hudson Donerson, Jason Hudson and Julian King, Julia and Jennifer Hudson have established the Hudson-King Foundation For Families of Slain Victims in honor of their family members. The specific purpose of the Foundation is to care for the needs of families who have lost relatives to a violent crime. This encompasses their basic needs of food, clothing and shelter as well as grief counseling.

Send your donations to the Hudson-King Foundation here:

c/o Abrams Garfinkel Margolis Bergson, LLP

Attn: William L. Abrams, Esq.

237 West 35th Street, 4th Floor

New York, NY 10001.

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