Most families have at least one person like her — the warm one, the one with all the culinary skills, the one who is most likely to watch cartoons with the kids, or play games. The one who’s motherly without necessarily being your mom. In my family, her name is Opal. And she’s always been there for me.

My mama bella is a go-getter, and she’s been a career woman her whole life. She’s inspired me to strive, to achieve, and to never stop trying. While my mom worked, her youngest sister Opal was there to see the kids come home from work, to make us the delicious treats we craved, to watch Sesame Street and as I got older, MTV. One of my most vivid pre-teen memories is of watching Headbanger’s Ball with my auntie, and trying to explain to her who Joan Jett was. And now today, my auntie helps to take care of my nieces Dominique and Isabella. It delights me to think that the tradition continues – except today, my nieces are watching The Backyardigans and Dora the Explorer with Auntie instead.

Auntie Opal is in many ways, the heart and soul of our family. When I think of her, I think of companionship, floral housedresses, and her infamous Chelsea Buns. This is the recipe, for the teatime treat that fills our house with the aroma of deliciousness.
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My mother’s first beauty memory was one of observation. She remembers watching my grandfather’s sister, Auntie Ruby, as she sat at her dresser getting ready.

“She would always have a huge flacon of 4711, and she would dab it behind her ears and on her neck. Being a six-year-old, sitting there and watching her was so different and fascinating. Everything she had was beautiful. That’s how I remember her,” she told me.

Today my sister sent me a text.

“Can you send Dominique some lilac hand soaps? She loves the name and the smell. She is a mini you!”

Wow, how that took me back!

My niece Dominique is four years old (here’s a picture of her and little sister Isabella!) and right now Dominque loves the word, the color, and the scent of lilacs. Her earliest beauty memories are of me and my mom and her mom, I’m positive. We’re the most makeup obsessed of the family. She loves the rituals of beauty, and wants the products from such an early age.

All of this got me reminiscing about my first beauty memories. My mom always had a dresser cluttered with things I wanted to touch. But the clearest memory of my first beauty product came from going to a fashion and beauty event with my mother. The event was a product showcase and fashion extravaganza, hosted by a family friend, who owned a fancy perfume and makeup shop in the mall that my mother was always shopping in. At this event we had to answer a trivia question to win a prize. And according to my mother, this was the question.

What is the color of Elizabeth Arden’s famous door?

I answered “red”. And won!

I was seven years old!

I remember having to go on stage in front of everyone, and pick up my prize — a big bottle of Fendi bath gel. They don’t even make this product anymore — it came in a bottle that looked kinda like this.

After that, I established myself as a beauty rookie not to be underestimated! And oddly enough, the next Christmas our family friend asked my parents if I could be so kind as to help out at his store during the busy season. And my parents said YES. That’s how I wound up working in the mall, selling perfume and lipsticks and fancy bath and body sets to women at the tender age of eight.

Reminiscing about all of this is so strange, but explains so much about me today – I’ve been on this product obsessed, beauty loving path for a long, long time!

What are your first beauty memories?

Every year we talk about Black History Month, what it means, should we still celebrate it, how do we celebrate it…the debate goes on. This year, instead of just talking about it — I got the chance to BE about it.

For Black History Month I was invited to speak at the University of Notre Dame by an amazing student group called Shades of Ebony. These girls were so inspired, so brilliant, so genuine…being around them made me yearn for academic life and that kind of environment of constant mental stimulation. Erdina Francillon, the current president of Shades, is the opposite of me in college. She is motivated, ambitious, organized, and amazing. I can’t wait to see what she does after she graduates!

Shades of Ebony planned a special event for Black History Month, titled BeaUtiful. The idea was to discuss and celebrate black beauty. The event was thrown by and for the members of Shades, and the intention was to also reach out to young girls from the community of South Bend, Indiana — girls from local high schools and even a few middle school girls came out despite the intense cold and deep snow, to participate in the event. My friends at Carol’s Daughter and Dr. Miracles very generously donated gift items for the girls who participated.

BeaUtiful was intended as a multifaceted event. Outreach to the girls of the community, a chance to speak and consider some of their own self-esteem and self-worth issues, and a chance to inspire (and in turn, be inspired by) each other.

I was brought there as a special guest speaker, along with amazing artist Dawn Okoro. Dawn’s art is incredible just on the computer screen. In real life? Oh WOW. I just want to decorate my whole living space with her work. Click here to buy prints!

We were both asked to deliver speeches about what inspired us to do what we do, and what beauty means to us. I shared my background, my ideas about the beauty icons who have inspired me, and my suggestions for living a life that’s filled with beauty.

It was an incredible experience for a few reasons. First, I was just honored to be invited to such a prestigious institute of learning. And second, this was a big first for me. Please be gentle. This is the first public speaking I’ve ever done.

As you can hear from the response, they liked me. They really liked me! The feeling of that applause at the end…I can’t quite put it into words. It was a very, very proud moment. Could this be the beginning of a new chapter, where I do more public speaking appearances? I hope so. I feel so much less fearful than I did in the past.
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In the midst of achievement and success, sometimes you’ll also encounter jealousy, anger, and competitive energy from unlikely sources. That’s what I’m dealing with now, bellas. That kind of negativity can be disquieting to the spirit.

On days when it gets to me, I tend to do as my mom suggests and shroud myself in prayer, or to reread the Desiderata — the poem that basically outlines the way I try to live my life. Or — as I told fellow blogger Game Well and Truly Over for his 2010 Music Project — I listen to a song that makes me feel protected.

Yesterday I found solace in the poetry of Maya Angelou. And this is probably a poem we’ve all read before, but it helped me out in a time of trouble this week. So I hope it does the same for you.
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I can be astoundingly picky when it comes to photographs of myself. I. Love. This. Photo. It was taken by amazing photographer Dan Chen, for an upcoming project that I am SUPER excited about (but can’t share with y’all just yet, but I can’t wait to tell you about!)

BTW, I mentioned this fabulous top when I mentioned my Silhouettes blogger boutique — do you like it? If you do, click here to buy it, and click here to check out my blogger boutique!

Today I am honored and excited to share an interview I did with Renae of In Her Shoes. We touched on everything from the best advice my mother ever gave me, to an average day in my life, to my thoughts on life in Chicago. Click here to read it. And if you’re not savvy to In Her Shoes yet, click here to read this amazing, inspiring blog. And click here to follow Renae on Twitter! She is a GREAT person I am delighted to know.

Thank you SO much for the opportunity, Renae! I hope you like my interview, bellas!

Wow. It’s kind of crazy to sit back and reflect on how much my life has changed since August 2006.

Back when I started Afrobella, there weren’t nearly as many other natural hair blogs or websites on the scene, and there weren’t that many sites that specifically sought to celebrate the natural beauty of women of color.
Please feel free to step in and correct me for any oversight. Back then I remember regularly reading Motown Girl, Nappturality, and perhaps Going Natural was around at that time too. Beauty bloggers I remember regarding as my peers were The Makeup Girl, All About The Pretty, 55 Secret Street, and the Organic Beauty Expert.

YMIB started around the same time that I did, and I know she’ll agree it’s been an amazing journey indeed.

Since I started this here blog, it’s evolved into much more than just an outlet for personal expression, and much more than just the online version of the print magazine I wanted to read but couldn’t find anywhere. Afrobella has changed my life completely.

Initially this was an outlet from the box my job had penned me into, a platform to share the ideas that my former editor in chief wasn’t trying to hear. Flash forward to 2009, I’ve quit that job and left those restrictions behind. Now I’m trying my damndest to make this the thing that I do full time. I moved from Miami to Chicago, and have found a new outlook on life. So far, so great!

When I look back on my earliest blog posts, I see how far I’ve come and how much I’ve changed. There are things I regret, series of posts I started passionately then lost steam on, and experiences I’ve learned from. Through it all, my mission remains the same — to shine a positive light on the lives and the beauty of women of color, to inform and uplift those of us who find ourselves outside of what the mainstream magazine industry chooses to continually feature. My mission is to encourage more and more women of color to love ourselves as we are. I’m gonna keep on keepin’ on!

This morning I woke up to amazing news — I’m a finalist for the Best Culture category in the 2009 Black Weblog Awards. I’m psyched to be nominated alongside so many of the friends I’ve made in the blogosphere, and it’s a true honor to have made the list. What a wonderful validation. Click here to vote!

To celebrate this anniversary, I’m getting back to Afrobella basics. This month is entirely devoted to celebrating black beauty in our glorious variety. Like I always say, all shades of beautiful. And like the other thing I always say, the best is yet to come!

Thank you all for reading and supporting my blog. It means the world to me!