Excuse Me, Mister

Tyra Banks has left the house wearing one and so has Vivica Fox. I’m not talking about a lace-front wig – I’m speaking about the always embarrassing female moustache.

I can’t wait to see how the pro-leg hair faction responds to this post.

You know, the leg hair issue is understandable. Some people are comfortable with hairy legs and more power to them I suppose. Lord knows I would fail a leg inspection right now. However, legs can be covered up. Your face can’t, unless you choose to wear a burka. If you’re a celebrity who is constantly getting photographed; you better expect some public scrutiny.

And if you’re a woman who has made a career out of being beautiful, then there really is no excuse for leaving the house looking like this.

Sorry to call you out, Aunt Viv. But something’s gotta give here. That kind of George Michael Faith-era five o’clock shadow look is alllll sorts of wrong.

And Tyra. Really, I expect much better from you. How can you sit and judge others with this hairy lip situation happening? I mean, come on. Are you trying to tell me that if my Homestead homie Anchal turned up at a photo shoot with a ‘stache like that, Tyra wouldn’t get all kinds of ghetto on her at the judging panel? (by the by, loving Anchal’s fierce turquoise shadow in her pic with Fabio!)

I had a friend in high school who was light skinned Indian. She had a facial hair problem way before any of us even encountered the dreaded female ‘stache. This girl started bleaching her facial hair, probably using some good old fashioned Jolen until one day when her hair was fading back to brown, one of the more fabulously bitchy girls in class looked her dead in the eye and announced, “you look like a bumblebee.”

I know, high school kids are mean. But still, bwah haaaaa! We all fell out laughing at that one. And I never forgot it.

Facial hair is definitely more of an issue for some ethnicities than others, but I wouldn’t recommend bleach for anyone regardless of the shade of your skin. Turning your body hair blonde doesn’t make it invisible, bellas. Most often, it will highlight your situation in an unflattering way.

So what are your options? Waxing and threading hurt, but you eventually become accustomed to the pain. Trust me! The only issue is the lengthy grow-out time required. Which is why my my personal fave moustache removing method is Nair No Touch Upper Lip Cream. It works for me and costs less than $5.

If you have sensitive skin, stay FAR away from anything depilatory- it will blister your face and leave your upper lip red and painful. If you don’t, forget the instructions. 8 minutes isn’t quite enough to get rid of my stubborn little hairs. I personally leave the product on for 9-10 minutes, then wipe clean and wash off. It works well for those emergency situations when you might wind up being photographed.

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Comments

  1. Ok afro,

    I was feeling you on the hairy leg post, but I must disagree with you on this one. On Vivica’s picture, it took me a minute to figure out where the hair was! And Tyra’s is much less noticeable! I think this is taking expectations a bit too far. What’s next? A critique on women with sideburns??? Or arms that are too hairy??

  2. Wow, Sunsail. Are you kidding me? Her moustache was the second thing I noticed in that picture – right after the mask. Maybe it’s something I always grew up noticing on people, but yes, moustaches, beards, and sideburns on women are something that I think detracts from the overall look. I always make sure my situation is taken care of in that regard. And for the record, arm hair isn’t a big deal to me but it apparently is in Brazil – I hear the women there all bleach it.

  3. I’m still trying to pick myself up off the floor…a bumblebee?….ha ha ha….that was funny! I tried not to laugh…I really tried to be a grown up but that was funny as hell. I have side burns, a beard and a moustache and you better believe I take care of it right away. I wish I could find a product like No Touch Upper Lip for my chin and side burns! I’ve been removing hair from my face since I was 13!

  4. 70ssoulchild says:

    Bella, I must admit you’re much kinder than the folks at C+D LOL! Facial hair control requires constant viligence, especially after 40! I agree with you that celebrities are under constant scrutiny so they need to be camera-ready all the time. Aunt Viv you know better! Hopefully someone tips Aunt Viv and Miss Tyra onto the Nair Upper Lip cream with the quickness. Shoot you’ve got me checking myself in my mirror at my desk..gonna pickup a tube at lunchtime!

  5. Pink Bella says:

    LOL! I’m at work and laughed so loud at my desk just now! I agree with you. I have an extreme facial hair problem and I’m High Yella so it would not be a good loove if I just let it slide. I spend hours tweezing, waxing, using hair removal lotions and even shaving in a crunch. But I do it all to preserve my sexy (in the words of Diddy). What’s purely oxymoronic is when I see women that have their look together: hair, nails, make-up all FLAWLESS and then you see the nappy sideburns and whiskers! Complete the gromming process PLEASE!

    Keep inspiring real talk! Love the blog.

  6. Pink Bella says:

    That was supposed to be “good look.” My bad!

  7. jerseybred says:

    I have little whiskers:)at the end of my lip and one has the nerve to be long. I tweeze them as soon as they sprout back out. Tweezing hurts but i deal with it to avoid looking like a cat.
    And Vivica’s mustache is noticeable as well as Tyra-I can’t believe she stepped out her house like that. And there’s a pic out there with her dressed as a male, I bet the makeup artists didn’t have much work to do.

  8. Cali Girl says:

    Bella, I’m so glad you brought this up. What do you suggest for people with sensitive skin? I’ve tried the creams but the irritation and redness looks worse than the mustache! I’m afraid that waxing will have the same effect. Help!

  9. SlumBeautiful says:

    I don’t really have a hair problem but when I see my stache starting to grow I just use a razor to shave it off. Persona razor blades are what they are called and they should sell them at beauty supply stores behind the counter, and no I’m not scared of cutting myself b/c I’ve been doing this for a while now. After I pluck my brows I shape then up with the persona blade which gives them a very neat appearance.

  10. BUBBLEBEE? Oh my God that’s so mean lol. I’m with you on this, though I hate to be harsh on a woman when it comes to her looks lol. Btw, thanks for the love Bella. Really appreciate. ;)

  11. soon you need to make a post about removing hair on the LOVE BELOW as i call it! i HATE hair down there… although it has a purpose, it bothers me

    on the nappturality boards they mentioned the Coochie Rash Free Shave Creme.. i REALLY wanna try that
    http://www.cheaplubes.com/index.asp?PageAction=VIEWPROD&ProdID=692

    i know that would prolly be TMI for you to review about bella! lol

  12. Hey Cali Chic – I think regular waxing and depilatories would be too harsh for your sensitive skin. I did a quick Google search and found this information :
    http://www.brides.com/beauty/makeup/qa/24/detail/79

    Besides suggesting some super expensive laser light removal treatment, they recommend that you get a special kind of wax: “Ask for a chamomile-based wax,and apply an aloe vera gel afterward to reduce inflammation.” Ah, aloe vera. Is there anything you CAN’T do?

    Diamond, LOL! I might eventually get down to bidness with that kind of info… but you’re right. My momma and mom-in-law read this site so maybe not! =)
    If I try the product, I’d review it though. Thanks for the head’s up!

  13. **Off topic**
    For those of us who tend to feel that we need to look “perfect”: Check out this site–http://www.fluideffect.com/. Go to the before/after section with photos that have been airbrushed (click on portfolio, then go to before and after). It’s amazing what they can do nowadays. Also,check out the before and after photo of Eva Longoria under “composite/manipulation”. Fascinating!

  14. honey i saw a picture of Naomi Campbell without her makeup applied and that picture was what started me to addressing my body dismorphia. Church.

  15. BlackHoney says:

    What would you use if you use Retin-A?

  16. I, like SlumBeautiful, shave it. The hair does not grow back thicker, there’s no shadow, it doesn’t hurt, it takes seconds to do and it’s cheap. I’m sure many find that a “manly” thing to do, but seeing as I’m a woman everything as I do it is womanly. Do what you do, just know why you’re doing it. We’ve been taught that women should be free of body hair. Why? Who says? The same folks that think a woman should be a certain size or a certain color to be attractive? The cultural mandate that you remove your facial hair is not much different that the one that says you should be thin, or have light skin or be a certain age to be attractive. If you remove hair from anywhere on your body, do so because you prefer one look over another, not because your body in its natural state is wrong – it’s not. Okay, I’ll get off my soapbox. Thanks for letting me share my opinion!

  17. HiBella fellow trini here and fellow afro wearer too I just love your blog can’t stop reading keep up the great work.
    p.s. bring some milani gloss on your next trip to trini nah? :)

  18. I have been pretty lucky with the hair situation, but it still requires maintainance. Let me not go fooling myself into thinking that its not there. I always wax when its time but I have to be the last appointment of the day because my lip swells up and turns fire engine red. I usually only have to go once every 6 months but I know when its time to go.

  19. You know what? In protest, every women in America should just stop shaving, waxing, plucking, peeling, etc. at their body hair AT THE SAME TIME. Then, we wouldn’t have this problem ;)

  20. oh slum beautiful, u actually shave it? I was gonna say don’t ever shave it cause then you’re gonna get stubble and it’ll be thicker and not to mention, your man or significant other will get a sharp surprise when they kiss you.
    I used to bleach mine but now I wax – it still hurts like heck every time.
    Hey, u shoulda included a picture of Deelishis with her ‘stache. That was funny when NY was talkin’ smack about it. :)

  21. Courtney says:

    Wow. I thought this blog was supposed to be somewhat progressive on beauty. To me, you saying that she needs to do something with her facial hair is the same as people saying I need to straighten my beautiful kinky afro. Maybe she likes her mustache. I find it hardly noticeable. I think it’s funny how critical women are of other women. No wonder females feel they have to suffer so much to meet some false standard of beauty. I think she looks fine, and I think you need to evolve your ideas of what looks good. There is certainly more than one way to be beautiful.

  22. Courtney, I do consider myself to be quite a progressive person, and you are certainly entitled to your opinion. But I sincerely doubt that Vivica Fox, the poster girl for African American plastic surgery, “likes her mustache.”

    I’m self-conscious about my own, and that’s where I was coming from with this post. I realize many strongly natural women don’t agree with me about body hair, shaving, and facial hair removal. If you could share photos of beautiful women with deliberate and noticeable mustaches with me, maybe you’ll open my mind to more progressive beauty in this regard. But I’m gonna stick to the Nair. Thanks for commenting!

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