So sorry for the mysterious silence, bellas. 2007 hit me like a Mack truck.
Coming back from a blissful vacation to a new job with bigger responsibilities, an immediately pressing deadline, no food in the house, and a husband out sick with the flu has been a tad overwhelming. Unexpectedly, one of my most major sources of stress was totally Afrobella related. I got fake lashes put on for New Year’s, and I absolutely hated the experience.
I got individual false eyelashes applied on New Year’s Day, shortly before our family festivities began. Other than the strong scent of the glue so close to my eyes and nose, the process wasn’t bad at all. Mama Bella and I chatted with Julie the whole time, and it was done in a flash.
When I was done, I was thoroughly impressed. My lashes were thicker and longer and more fabulous than ever before. I felt gorgeous, and received beaucoup compliments from people who normally don’t notice what kind of makeup I’m wearing. Then, the trouble began.
I first noticed that I might experience some eyelash turbulence during the party itself. I became suddenly verklempt after kissing my niece goodbye – I knew she wouldn’t be awake ‘foreday morning to wave and say bye when we left for the airport. Then I went to say adios to my dog, Souris. The poor guy is on his last legs (literally – he has chronic arthritis and splits half a pill with my mom every day. It’s so sad to watch. He’s like 98 years old in dog years).
I guess it was the drinking + homesickness made me bawl like a baby, right there crouched next to my poor, old dog. When I tried to dry my tears, I encountered spiky, painful plastic protrusions coming from my eyelids. They HURT.
From that moment on, I became hyper-aware of the fact that I had glued on plastic spikes to my eyelids. No – correction – I had paid for the pleasure of having plastic spikes glued to my eyelids. I had no idea how sensitive my eyes were until this point.
Julie had warned me to sleep carefully on my back – she could tell by the way some of my outer lashes curved that I slept in the fetal position. After copious glasses of champagne followed by strong rum and cokes (and rum and Peardrax. Try it! Such an inspired combination), I slept any which way I could.
When I awoke to head to the airport, the lashes were fine. When I awoke after sleeping on the plane, they were fine but a bit “kilkitay,” as they might say at home. By the time I got back to our place, my lids ached. I wanted these lashes OFF and I was going to make it happen by hook or by crook!
I spent two days cleaning my eyelids with makeup remover. Kiehl’s, Philosophy, Rimmel… none of them worked. I did a Google search for removing fake lashes, and all of the information I read recommended soaking my eyelashes with makeup remover, then removing the lashes. It was not that easy, bellas.
At one point, one of the most painful of the lashes became disengaged, only to become stuck in the spiderweb upside down. I looked like I had a large mosquito trapped in my eyelashes. It was terrible. My eyes were red, my lids were swollen, and they hurt. Every time I blinked I felt these spiky bastards on my aching eyelids. I cursed myself for being so vain. For going against my credo of all-natural beauty. Why oh why did I not think my own lashes were good enough, and leave well enough alone?
It took two days of repeated cleansing, delicate picking at the hard, black clumps of glue, and I don’t want to speculate how many real lashes got lost along the way… but finally I’m happy to say that all of my fake lashes are removed. I will never torture them like that again.
In retrospect, I wonder if I had bought softer fake lashes – these Shu Uemura ones look divine – or if Julie had used a different sort of glue, I would have had a better experience. Either way, I’m glad they’re finally off. I don’t know how Mama Bella does it!
Don’t get me wrong, I’m glad I had the experience and I don’t regret a thing. Fake lashes made me appreciate my real lashes that much more. Now I just want to pamper my eyelashes to the max. I slathered them with Vaseline and told them I love them. Now I want to buy some kind of brush-on eyelash conditioner, to really take better care of them. If any of you have tried such a product, let me know.
I hope you all had a wonderful New Year’s, and that 2007 brings happiness and blessings to us all! I’ll be making up for lost time and posting all weekend long. I missed you guys!