Are Things Really This Bad?
bella | Jan 15, 2007 | Comments 93
I read this bit of gossip over at The Scoop, my weekly addiction on MSNBC’s Entertainment page. (The Scoop is written by the lovely and talented Jeannette Walls, and she is one of few gossip columnists who I believe 100% of the time).
An uncomfortable pairing?
Does Will Smith believe that filmgoers don’t want to see him getting his happiness from Cameron Diaz? The star of “The Pursuit of Happyness†is one of Hollywood’s most well-liked celebs, but a journalist claims that Smith says he wanted to co-star in a romantic comedy with the Charlie’s Angels star — but worried that the public would be uncomfortable with the interracial pairing.
“Smith, one of the world’s most bankable stars, appears mostly opposite black or Latino women,†noted U.K. writer Leslie O’Toole. “He once confided to me that he’d love to make a romantic comedy with Cameron Diaz but feared that his audience wouldn’t accept it.â€
“It’s a shame, but it is what it is,†Thandie Newton, his co-star in “The Pursuit of Happyness†lamented. “I think if it was done in the right way, where race wouldn’t be an issue, it would be great. But you can’t bend people’s minds too quickly.â€
I had to write about this, because it tied in perfectly with my Martin Luther King post earlier.
Am I out of the loop, or are things actually this sad?
Will Smith is a great actor. I’ve admired his skills since he was rapping with Jazzy Jeff.
Cameron Diaz isn’t my favorite actress in the world, but I do think she has an attractive on-screen presence, and notable comedic timing.
They could potentially make a funny (and profitable) romantic comedy together.
Why should it matter what race they are? “You can’t bend people’s minds too quickly,” excuse me – what year is this?
Are we as a society still not “over” interracial relationships?
My personal opinion is that love is love, if you find someone who respects your mind, respects your body, and makes you want to be with them and cherish the time spent with them, then it doesn’t matter what race or gender they are.
There isn’t enough love and committment in the world as it is, so why put limitations on who people should or shouldn’t choose to spend their lives with?
Why should I make it my business who you choose to settle down with, or who puts that special smile on your face?
But I want honest opinions here.
Tell me, if a film starring Will Smith and Cameron Diaz as a romantic couple were to be released – and the trailer looked funny – would you support it? Or would you boycott it as an act of protest against their on-screen relationship?
What are your views on interracial relations in the world in 2007?
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Filed Under: Famous Faces • Issues
Well I went out my first date with a white guy the other night,,,,he was charming and I will be seeing him again…I use to have hang ups about interracial dating..but we live and hopefully grow..and part of my growth has been that..how a person treats you and makes you feel…is more important than the color of skin..love is a gift that comes in all shapes..colors and sizes,,,Thanks Ms.Bella for your thought provoking questions !
IR relationships in real life: I only have a problem when someone says that they date “out” because ALL women of their race are X or ALL men of their race are Y. People who say such things are bigots and should be treated accordingly (ie. ignored). If you’re going to go “out,” do it because you genuinely love and care for the person and not for what that person represents in a race-polarized society.
IR relationships onscreen: Normally I’m okay with them but yeah, I’m past ready for seeing more black women in IRs onscreen. But how many black actresses do you think feel the same way as Will and Denzel: oh, we have to show love for the black man? (I for one would be interested in a poll on that. Any Essence staff checking this out? Go ask today’s leading black actresses if they feel they should insist on starring opposite a black man in romantic relationships. Early prediction: Most of them will say “Hell no!” and I have no problem with that.)
This particular pairing (Will and Cameron): Uh, no. Not really feeling them together at all. And unless I’m mistaken, NOBODY makes note of Cameron’s Latina (or half-Latina, or whatever) heritage as a general rule, so why do we make note of it now? For all intents and purposes, she’s white, so we should just leave it at that.
Finally, I’m past ready for black women to quit feeling like we have to compete with other women for scraps. I’m waiting for black women to stop sniping at these other women and uncover our true grace and strength and beauty, the kind that would shine out naturally if we weren’t so preoccupied with fighting/imitating these others. We have this “image” that in reality covers a deep sense of inferiority and alienation, and I wish we could get to the root of that so we can evolve into the kinds of beings that all people (and certainly all men) would want to be near.
(Sorry for the novel.)
Preach on Bellatrix! As wonderful as we are, we black women have our “issues” (understandably!) It’s not until we deal with them that we will stop having this inferiority complex that mainstream (read:white) society and even our own TV shows, discussions, and publications (I wanted to throw every issue of that Essence cover a few years ago with the story “Do Black Men Still Want Us?” off the newstand and in the trash can!) gives to most of us. I am a black woman with a lot to be proud of and I won’t wallow in the self-pity that American seems happy to let us get swallowed up by. I left that self-pity stuff behind as soon as I left my 20s 2 1/2 years ago. It’s hard sistas, but we come from strong stuff!
i have no problem at all with interracial relationships, simply because i am in one. Will Smith did star with a white woman in Bad Boys I. They were kinda romantically involved but the movie wasn’t about their relationship per se. Denzel was in a romantic movie a long time ago with an Indian woman. I loved that movie because it really showed how culture and class plays a big role in the way people view each other. Anyways I would go see the movie if it was made. People need to stop being afraid of change.
you better preach LBellatrix, girl you are bringing the church up in here.pass the collection plate.
Bella…
That’s the truth girl! That’s why IR relationships won’t be fully be accepted because you have those idiots who get into them for the wrong reasons and disrespect people because of THEIR skin color and expect you to respect them.
WAIT WAIT WAIT!! Cameron Diaz is second generation Cuban American and German (mixed) so what is the big deal here? Is it because she looks white?
I have too much to say and too little time. I haven’t read all the posts yet and decided to post mine before I was influenced by the others. My take is that the movie (which I have already seen) would have gone TOTALLY different if Diaz were opposite of Will Smith for the simple fact that it wouldn’t be believable. Could you see Cameron Diaz in Thandie Newton’s shoes playing that role to the full effect that she did? No. Do you think she would have had the “attitude” that was needed to “portray” the head-swiveling, finger-waving, “what is we gon’ do” stereotypical struggling minority in America? Do you think America is ready to see an actress like Cameron Diaz in an interracial relationship, be the person who walks out on her husband and child because she couldn’t hack it? HIGHLY unlikely. OH and just caught a glimpse of the post above me (darn) Yes it is because she “looks” white she gets to take part in receiving “hatred” that people have for interracial relationships as well as a member of this skewed society, will she take part in the benefits of being white in America and in many other countries just by the way she looks on the outside. I have nothing against interracial relationships as I am in one myself but I have a problem with the fact that many darker black women aren’t playing opposite of male actors as respectable, dependable, and beautiful with sex appeal. It’s NOT that common, I don’t see many raising a fit about that, and it’s funny how some people will run to defend a topic like this yet criticize a black actor who would turn down an offer to act opposite a white female in order to work with someone more his taste or belief. I believe in everyone getting along “one world” motto but don’t further push yourselves out of Hollywood by speaking for a cause that really doesn’t bring you and your beautiful kinky, curly, brown-skinned beautiful self above and beyond. This is merely just a side to the main dish of what’s really going on.
And just to lighten up things a little:
Will…come on don’t start the crybaby “I want to be a part of changing the world’s view on interracial dating” when your own black women can barely get in the door of a film agent if they don’t pass the paper bag test! If you wanted a chance to work with Diaz you should began with something more like Hitch where she would have been the one interested in you, the date maker and instead you fix her up with someone that is just right for her in the long run instead of the “new flavor” concept that many people seem to have when it comes to interracial dating. Attack that issue. THE END. Everyones happy…roll credits.
I agree with so many of the posts. In my heart I feel that people should be with whomever they want to be with-white, grey, blue or pink. But, as an American of African descent female I get sick and tired of seeing the brothers with white women. The man can be as “successful” as all get out, but he seems to still feel he’s nothing without that white trophy. It gets on my nerves (and yes I am one of the lucky ones-I have been in a monogamous relationship for the past 16 years). I am glad Denzel and Will feel the way they do.
And please, Cameron Diaz. There are so many better white actresses than her-Angelina Jolie, Reese Witherspoon and Kate Winslet are all better actors than she is (IMHO). Also ,why does it have to be somene young-what about Susan Sarandon, Judi Dench, Meryl Streep. Aim high Will, aim high.
I just don’t get why Will is so fixated on doing a movies with women of other colors. First, he was begging Jlo to do a movie with him and evidently she declined. He does Hitch with Eva Mendez and made a scene at every promotional stop for the movie and now he’s crying about Cameron Diaz. I just don’t get why he and so many other black actors don’t feel validated unless they can act opposite a non-black woman.
Honee exactly.
Folks are so worried about why people have problems with him wanting to do movies with women of other races when the biggest issue is why he doesn’t feel a black woman is good enough for his movie.
I’m kinda bothered with Will right now.
Okay. “White Women (latinos and light skinned blacks) are the most beautiful women in the universe. Black women (or dark skin)are ugly and there should be some some sort of genocide to wipe it out of existance”. This is how the Black man feels. It’s not just as simple as “love is love” and “it doesn’t matter”. it’s great to think that interracial dating is all candy gumdrops, but it’s not. The reason behind such love is not. If a black man has a White women that means he has accomplished something in life. it’s like we are not good enough and white women will sho’ nuff throw it in your face as well.And did anyone notice that when ppl refer to interacial dating it = black man, white woman? U hardly ever see the opposite because most black women think differently about the issue, we know better ( not to mention that white men find black women totally repulsive). And please dont talk about that damn movie Guess Who to argue my statement because that girl in the movie isn’t even black in real life, she’s latino, she was also in Drumline ( they have latino women playing black women roles! as if there aren’t any wonderful black actresses. WTF!! Christina Milian=love don’t cost a thing. yep. playin a black girl)I’m not crazy about seeing interracial love movies because of what it represents, self hatred and the color complex that dated back to slavery. It makes me feel like shit.
*observation* When a person judges others(strangers)they really tell on themselves,especially with the language they use, and the conclusions they come up with.
Wow. Coffy, I totally know what you’re saying. I knew this post would create a discussion, but this is more than I anticipated. I gotta read ALL of these and dissect quite a bit before I comment further.
But real quick, for the record, RE – your statement, “most black women think differently about the issue, we know better ( not to mention that white men find black women totally repulsive)” … I can’t get behind that.
I know many women (and men! White men, too) who would respectfully disagree. You can’t make a generalization like that. Or rather, you can, but you’d be totally wrong.
one of the things i did to change myself was to stop saying/referring to things as all or every. the other thing i did was to stop jumping to conclusions(making up stories) to fit my jacked up thinking. before those changes i had an opinion, that i labeled as fact, about every damn thing. now i can look at things and say although it looks a certain way, that could be me filtering it the way i want to see it.
So, maybe this view will be appreciated…I’m white and I’m not completely comfortable with black guys that date white women either!!! I have a (white) friend who is dating a black guy and he is. totally. using. her. I can’t help but think that because she is white, he doesn’t see her as a 3-dimensional woman. And let me tell you, he will never marry her. And she is too…shall we say, naive?…to see it.
In the black man-trophy white girl situation – the white girl loses too. She doesn’t have someone who loves her for who she is. Okay, cry (us) a river, right? It’s nothing compared to racism but it still sucks for her!
Somewhat ironcially, I think more black women should date white men. And I know plenty of guys who would be very willing!!
@ Regirl are you not comfortable with the idea in general or the man involved with your friend? if your description of the boyfriend is accurate, then isn’t it a blessing he won’t marry her? your friend may be the type to be taken advantage of by any man, and it just so happens right now the dude is Black.
Well, Coffy, you are definitely right about the marriage thing – it is a blessing he won’t marry her.
I’m not against interracial relationships – just black men who date white women *because* they are white. To me, this is another form of using people. You know, I guess this can happen in any number of pairings (I’m sure black women can be dated just because of their race), but I do think there is something to the white trophey thing. If that is not the case, great!
Um…and she is kind of the type to be taken advantage of. Which sucks. But he still shouldn’t use her!
You know, she’s my friend, I love her. I guess this doesn’t have to do much with race, it’s just that someone is stringing her along who doesn’t really like who she is as a person.
I have read most of the replies to the Will& Cammy issue. I think it is a Criing Shame. The one time I went to see Wil in a movie was Enemy of the Sate,opposite Regina King. Only because they were two Black people acting togather=good,I feel that we= True Black Women, are getting pushed farther and farther back from the prospect table as far as dating, marriage, I have been talking about this for YEARS I feel no one wants US any more, They=Black Men, don’t find us attractive , They will (FIND) anything else BUT a TBW, it is so sad that what was good enough for our Fathers, Grandfathers and Uncles it is not good enough for these Watered down Black Men who are not able to stand up and be (DIFFERENT). No I see enough interacial couples every where I go flaunting it in OUR faces with Sarcatic Smirks and smiles like Chesshire Cats, I sure in the Hell am not going to give my hard earned Pennies on a Movie that does’nt depict some body I can relate to such actresses of color Loretta Devine, Sam L. Jacksons wife, and Monique just to name a few, not to mention the new Jennifer Hudson, all these women can ACT so stand up Black america and stop letting Hollywood tell us what is funny, artistic and meaningful for OUR society and OUR Youth,We are raising OUR future.
To just re-ply to all of the readers out there I am a light-skinned Black Women born to a very Dark skinned Woman who just happened to have had a white father, Iam also married to a Black Man and have been for years. So I am not Bitter & alone. I just see a need to address the issue at hand on a level that might not have crossed the majorities mind.
I’m ubdecided on this issue. I think Cameron is a good comedic actress but at the same time I want to see more roles with loving black families.
i can understand not wanting to see a mixed race couple on the big screen, but i think we should also take a closer look at movies that portray us (Black women)poorly. Martin Lawrence and Eddie Murphy are laughing all the way to the bank,portraying us as obese,uneducated country bumpkins.
Coffy, I’m so with you on that point. I’m so tired of these movies. I’m just so tired of seeing us disrespected by men and we don’t say a mumbling word. Because we have to support them or they might stop liking/loving us. Yet, we attack each other (women) like rabid animals. Ugh!
@Honee,i was surprised at the reactions to this post, but i wonder how many of these women support Eddie Murphy and Martin Lawrence movies. in my opinion their caricatures of us (Black women), are far more hurtful and destructive to us and our image. if you watch commercials how many Black women are overweight compared to caucasian women. can you imagine a caucasian comedian doing the movies that Eddie and Martin are doing? no way it aint gonna happen.
I wasn’t very surprised about the reactions to the post. I’ve become use to many of us subtracting the person that is actually committing the action and blaming Hollywood, white men, and non-black women and/or black women with fairer complexions for the issues facing black women. All Will, Martin and Eddie have to do is go on Oprah or appear on the cover of Essence cheesing really hard and say I LOVE BLACK WOMEN. We eat up everytime.
Honee, i’m totally with you.
I think until afro-americans start respecting each other and themselves there will always be racism, at least in US. Most of them are “hating on” those that accomplished smth or have a better car, shoes, bling-bling, etc. I see it all the time. My husband’s ex-wife has a sign on her car “This car is surrounded by haters”, what kind of sign it is to put on one’s car! Black people don’t help each other, you won’t see that in almost any other race. Latinos always prefer to do business with other, give each other better deals as far as cars, rent, even food and other things, so do Asians and Armenians and Jews and Russians in US, but not black people, they’d rather see their friend down or do “drive bys” or kill each other for a little bit of money or weed. Our friend got killed recently that way, and he didn’t have more than 20 bucks worth of weed on him… And I see young and older people get killed because of all this “gangbanging” at least coupe of times a year.
I think black celebrities can make a huge difference, but most of them don’t do anything. They’d rather wear thousand of dollars worth of jewelry and clothes and have dozens of cars. Look at BET awards, have you seen white celebrities wear at least half as much jewelry!? If they spend less money on themselves and more money on communities they were raised in there would be much less poverty and issues to deal with!
Instead of that they disrespect black women (and all women!) in their songs, videos and movies and boast how much money they have. Snoop Dogg, Jay-Z, 50 Cents … all of them. Snoop Dogg prefers to spend thousands of dollars on custom paint job for his cars and diamond football rings for all the kids on his kids’ football team and most of them are white and all of them are VERY rich, but he’d rather show all of their white parents how cool and rich he is than go back to Long Beach (where he’s from) and help his own people! Rappers have most influence on young black people today.
I’m personally in an interracial relationship. I’m white (I’m russian) and my husband is black. We’ve been together for 4 years and next month is our 1st year wedding anniversary. We live in Cali, Downey and my husband grew up in Compton – a very bad neighborhood for those who don’t know. I’m not rich, so the idea that my husband got married to me because of my money is ridiculous, he’s not rich either. We’re together because we love each other and nothing else. My family has absolutely no problem with my choice, they are happy that i’m happy. My husband’s family did not like me at first but after they got to know me better they realized that’s it’s really not about skin color. I’m in a great relationship with all of them, including his ex-wife (and – no, he did not divorce her to marry me, they go divorced 8 years before we even met!) and 2 of his kids.
I didn’t see a lot of negativity regarding our relationship, but still when we first started to date I noticed stares from both white and black people. I’ve noticed it all change too though, most white people, at least here in LA, don’t care anymore, black people for the most part either, even though I have to admit black women sometimes do seem to be a little stirred. And one more thing, I see a lot of mixed couples now, black men/white women and white man/back women! This is why I love Los Angeles! Because people here are more open minded. My husband’s sister live in Baltimore and when we visited her we’ve seen much more surprised and weird glances there then here and most of them were from white people. I didn’t like it.
I have great love for black people. I consider them very smart and strong race. And I feel pain when I see discrimination towards them, but I also feel pain when I see they don’t want to help each other. I’m not trying to say they owe anything to each other, but still I believe until they become “one” they will not to be able to accomplish everything they are trying to accomplish.
And I wouldn’t see any problems with seeing Will Smith in a movie with Cameron Diaz or any other black actor or actress in a movie with a white actor or actress. Until black people stop caring about it too there will always be racism! Same goes for white people.
Thanks Victoria for generalizing all blacks.Glad to know your Russian with a black husband as opposed to grade A racist American white and a significantly better wife than his hater obsessed black wife. Given the shambles Russia is in maybe you guys could move there and give inspirational lectures to your comrades about money and food and the like or if international travel is not your thing, we could have Vicky the Russian’s (who although not American is still Caucasian and thus benefits)Guide to How to be a Better Black Person.
Being a black female and having been in an IR, I can say that white, latin, and asian women can be just as rude and nasty when they see you with one of those men. Not to mention the insecurity and defensiveness of some of these women with black men. But hey they are just being individual women you know not part of the homogenuous black female mob mentality.
I am very tired of everyone overexaggerating the reactions of black females to IRs to alleviate their own particular biases. Besides it’s easier to try to pressure all these evil black b****, instead of attacking the white supremacist system or racist ass acquaintances.
Adult Black women make up an insignificant number of the population so if black men fail at their film, political, and/or acting careers, it’s not on us. I am tired of being blamed for their failure and an afterthought in their success. Can’t have it both ways.
I feel no qualms about not seeing any movie of men who expect loyal support from black women yet choose other women as their leading ladies.
Denzel, Will are at the point where they can have some say over their costars. Lesser actors have done it- refuse to play in a movie if they can’t get a certain leading lady.
Sex symbols are sex symbols because their fans think the person is sexually attractive and the fans can fantasize that the actor/actress would find them sexually attractive. With Will begging every nonblack female in the wood for play, how are his black female fans to react? These actors don’t get it.
White, Asian, Latin women do not have to sit through life looking in magazines, newspapers, music videos, news reports, real life, and so forth constantly being told they don’t make the grade. If black men spent an iota of the time, they spend chasing and uplifting other females on black women especialy their own daughters, ………………..
@Victoria, i think maybe your message didn’t come across the way you wanted not because of your intent but your wording.
I wasn’t talking about Russians being better. If we were so much better and Russia was so much better I wouldn’t be in US. I didn’t say that all black women are bad wives and b****, i ca give you plenty of examples of bad russian wives and white american… I didn’t say that ALL black women are b*** either! Where did you read that at! if you didn’t notice other people on this forum spoke about black women not liking black men other races too, so i just agreed with it! I didn’t say all black women are like that and I didn’t even say most black women are like that. And i’m not trying to be opposed to my husband ax-wife. I still don’t think it’s a nice thing to put a sign that “this car is surrounded by haters” on your car. Especially if it’s a lady. I think people should look at life as positive as they can (as thus glass is half full as opposed to being half empty), and that is not a positive sign to post on someone’s car! But anyway, if I hurt someone’s feelings or insulted someone I apologize, as this was not my intention….
@ Victoria, i think some people have a problem hearing criticism about “Black issues”, from anyone that is not Black. for the record you made some good points, ones that i know that have been said by other Black folk. maybe next time you should start with “don’t shoot the messenger”.lol
I am just tired of white people who think they can tell blacks how to do it better, especially when they try to use a black or other spouse to imply they are not racist and talk about her great love of blacks.
Like I said if Russians work so well together and Armenians etc. why are their countries in shambles.
It’s easy to sit around and imply that all black people don’t try when you are not black and benefit from white privilege and all that entails. Just because black people pull each other’s coat doesn’t mean a white woman married to a black man can join in the condemnation. She should make sure any kids she has follow her path; but hey she can call them biracial and continue to stereotype blacks.
She also acts as if only black women act nasty. Having dated IR, I can say white, Asian and Latin women can act just as nasty, but they are accorded individuality in that regard.
Intentions do not matter. My current is white, I don’t go around telling white people or women how to be better.
This is part of the problem I have with some whites they lay up with a minority and suddenly have the key to issues that have been plaguing the community for decades. Yes, I have dumped white and other dudes for talking in this manner.
Whoa, whoa, whoa. I didn’t realize that this discussion was still going on to this level. Apparently, like Nate Dogg and Warren G, I’m gonna have to regulate.
Victoria, I appreciate your views and I did not read your opinions as intentionally insulting at all.
And Whatever, that statement “why don’t you go back…” there is no place for that kind of statement on my site. First of all, I’m not from this country so those statements strike a very particular chord with me. Another thing, we’re a crowd of mostly black people having a cordial discussion, so telling someone they should “go back to their country” shouldn’t even enter into the discussion given the history of our own people.
NOW. Victoria, I also see Whatever’s point in that your previous comment can be seen as a very sweeping generalization. I wouldn’t put a sticker like that on my car, and I agree that many rappers do seem to frivolously spend their money. And the black-people-not-helping-other-black-people aspect… I just had this conversation with a black co-worker, who was lamenting a similar incident where she felt that she had been discriminated against by our own people. It does happen, but I am happy to say, it hasn’t been my general experience. I believe that there are good people out there, of all colors.
Like Whatever said, I too am tired of people presenting black women as an ignorant mob. It is up to us to take control of our image and make the change.
*off topic* your intention creates your reality,peace.
I don’t have a problem with it per say. I just feel that their are 2 many black Hollywood actresses that are out of work or have limited opportunites.
When Hollywood features Nia long co-staring with Bradd Pitt more often, then I would have NO problem.
But Why is it that WE always have to break the color barrier.
It always come off as a black man chasing a white woman. Say what u will, but most of America just won’t support that. Ask Tay Diggs.
kind.
To be quite honest, it’s just a movie. I respect Will Smith’s decision and that’s all that needs to be respected. Answering your question bella, I wouldn’t mind seeing the movie. However, I believe that black love should be preserved. BLACK IS BEAUTIFUL!
This may have been said already but one of the main reasons he is so bankable is along with his talent he is one of the most none threatening black man on the planet. If he starts appearing in movies with a white leading lady it’s not his black fans he has to worry about (ok yeah but not just us) but also his white fans (males) who now see him as a threat. To this day there are very few white men who feel comfortable seeing a white woman on the arm of a black man period.
I feel the same as a lot of others who have posted on this topic. It’s bad enough we can’t have our history taught on a regular basis is schools and also the fact that racism is still a heavy issue in our society, but do we also have to give up our identity on film as well? We see plenty of interracial couples on the street everyday. Let us have something.
I feel the same as a lot of others who have posted on this topic. It’s bad enough we can’t have our history taught on a regular basis is schools and also the fact that racism is still a heavy issue in our society, but do we also have to give up our identity on film as well? We see plenty of interracial couples on the street everyday. Let us have something.
the big problem is a black male/white female relationship is never show on tv/film withouth lots of nudging and winking about black penises and such.