Ask Afrobella — The “Professional” Prejudice
Since that Glamour magazine editor’s quote hit the streets last week, yours truly has been swamped with e mails and Ask Afrobella questions. Like this one, yesterday!
Robin asks: Bella, I’m waiting on the corporate hair discussion. I’m in a rut with this issue as we speak. I am looking for a new job in Accounting but I am also letting my relaxer grow out. I have been either wearing twist outs, braids, or just slicked back into a ponytail. Many of my friends and fam insist that I should straighten it out before interviews. However, I don’t think that I should be limited to straight hair in the corporate world neither am I particularly interested in working for a company that would have me conform this way. I’m looking for styles that aren’t intimidating without having to conform and flat iron it into submission. Please Help!!
Lay the flat-iron down because help is on the way, Robin! But I must confess, I feel kind of like a fish out of water even addressing this. Here’s why.
I grew up in a country where I always saw men and women with natural hairstyles working in professional capacities. Maybe back in the Seventies when Rastafarianism seemed like a relatively new phenomenon, things were different. But as an Eighties baby in Trinidad, I grew up knowing teachers, shop clerks, my parents and siblings co-workers… natural hair never seemed like an impediment to a job, to me. My high school principal had a fro. My flyest high school teacher — shout out to Miss Stroud — wore a low ‘fro, and so did one of Trinidad’s coolest newscasters back in the day on Panorama. Minister Penelope Beckles wears her hair in a short afro style, and Trinidad’s Member of Parliament, Fitzgerald Hinds, has awesomely long and handsome locks. (If there is any hairstyle that’s been discriminated against in Trinidad, it’s dreadlocks. MP Hinds has retaliated against instances of ridiculous discrimination — like when St. Charles High School sent home a 12-year-old Rastafarian girl because of her hairstyle back in 2004. Hinds has also spoken eloquently before parliament, regarding the unfair and discriminatory practice of cutting off a Rastafarian’s locks when they are imprisoned).
So I never really thought natural hair in the workplace could be percieved as a politically motivated “no no.” The concept of everyone having to conform to a Eurocentric standard of “normal” hair and beauty never occurred to me, when it came down to getting a job. I assumed it was all about being smart and qualified enough.
When I was making the decision to go back to school for my MFA in creative writing, my most conservative friend was horrified. “You mean you don’t want to make money?” he gasped. Of COURSE I do — but I’m a creative girl who just never planned to work in a traditional office, is all. And I haven’t. The office I work in now is all about Casual Friday, every day. I have a co-worker who’s been known to wander the halls wearing a bathrobe over his clothes. Seriously. I typically wear jeans and a cute top to work, flats, and my hair can be as big and crazy as I want. Recently I wore it in a ponytail after months of wash n’ go ‘froliciousness, and my editor was like — what happened? Did you cut your hair? So I can’t speak from my personal experience about natural hair being regarded as anything less than acceptable. I wouldn’t want to work somewhere that made me feel any other way.
Because I couldn’t relate to these corporate mandates, I decided to ask the one person I knew who was in charge of hiring people. My dad. He’s a human resources manager, and he practically did a spit take when I called to ask him about this Glamour issue.
“How could you make a statment like that? So what, they think that everybody must wear false hair? Well I suppose that’s already happening – you see so many of these young girls with long hair that isn’t theirs, wearing it red and blonde…” he laughed. Then he turned serious. “But that is a highly explosive statement. Extremely ignorant. I have all kinds of employees, with all kinds of hair. We have people here who have shaved their heads as low as possible. That’s as natural as it gets, right? Then there are those who braid their hair – and either wear the natural braids or add in extensions. And there are some who just wear their hair naturally curly, like yours. Of course, if somebody comes in unkempt, looking like all kinds of things live in their hair, we wouldn’t consider them. But natural doesn’t mean unkempt, ungroomed, or unwashed. Maybe they’re so ignorant they think that. They need to realize that natural doesn’t mean you just wake up in the morning and go to work with your head looking crazy and all kinda-how. All of the women I know with natural hair — with afros — keep it clean, neat, and looking quite attractive,” said my dad. Exactly! My dad made another valid point — “There are all kinds of white women with thick and curly hair. Are they expected to straighten theirs, too?” Good question, Dad.
Let’s examine the original statement again. Remember, this was first quoted in American Lawyer magazine: “First slide up: an African American woman sporting an Afro. A real no-no, announced the ‘Glamour’ editor to the 40 or so lawyers in the room. As for dreadlocks: How truly dreadful! The style maven said it was ‘shocking’ that some people still think it ‘appropriate’ to wear those hairstyles at the office. ‘No offense,’ she sniffed, but those ‘political’ hairstyles really have to go.”
Note to this still-unnamed Glamour editor — Not every person who wears natural hair or dreadlocks is doing so for “political” reasons. Some people just love the way locks or afros look. Some people don’t have the time or the inclination to use chemicals to alter the structure and texture of their hair. Some people want a hairstyle that is effortless. Some wear locks for religious reasons. Also, isn’t it illegal to discriminate against people for reasons like this? If you get laid off and you think it’s because of your hairstyle, surely you could file an EEOC complaint, right? And surely some of the lawyers present had some insight as to that angle.
Personally, I’d imagine that having some employees who wear their hair in natural afrocentric hair styles is a good thing for any company — it reveals diversity, open-mindedness, and inclusion. That can’t be bad, can it? But I understand Glamour’s lack of knowledge. I assume most of the editors and employees aren’t women of color. And I’ve been asked extraordinarily dumb questions about my hair. I’ve gotten everything from “how do you get your hair to look like that?” (answer – it just grows this way) to “can I touch it,” (answer: no, I am not your personal Chia Pet), to “do you wash your hair?” Yup, a girl in college once actually asked me that. Her ignorance really astounded me, and I did respond rudely.
As someone who works in a super-flexible and atypical office environment, I had to ask someone with natural curls who worked someplace more corporate. And purely for convenience’s sake, I asked the girlfriend who came over for dinner last night. Meet Jessica.
She’s one of my closest friends. I’ve quoted her a few times on curly hair products (she loves the Garnier Soft Curl Cream), and finally, here’s a photo I ganked from her MySpace. She’s Jamaican and works for Sandals. In fact — there’s a photo of her, throwing a wedding bouquet somewhere in this flash intro.
Jess works in the corporate office, and recently someone was telling her that they prefer to pull back their curly hair into a tight ponytail or bun for the workplace. She admits that on super-corporate wearing-a-suit-for-a-business-meeting days, she pulls her hair back. But not every day, not by a long shot. “So why I must pull my hair back and get a headache every day? Cho. That’s some racist ish,” Jessica scoffed when we discussed this last night.
Now I hear you — Jessica’s hair is natural and can get big, but it isn’t curly like CURLY curly. Her hair might be seen as the “acceptable” mixed chick office curls. What do you do if you work in a super corporate environment and you’re transitioning? Or your hair is kinky and thick and in a fabulous fro, not curly and long?
Here’s my two cents — as long as your ‘do looks neat and clean, I’d assume it should be fine. You should always go to work looking and feeling poised, professional, calm, and collected. So Robin, if you work in an inflexible office and you’re transitioning and your hair’s looking puffy in front and distressing you, I’d say invest in some wide and comfortable headbands to pull your hair back during office hours. (note, I am NOT advocating daily use of headbands, and it’s REALLY important to make sure they’re comfortable. I’d say think cloth not plastic, think soft jersey, and stretch ‘em in the store to make sure they’ll fit well around your cabeza). I have a wide variety of hair bands and I switch up my look with accessories quite often. Sometimes I pull those crazy curls back with a banana clip.
If you’ve got locks or twists or braids and you don’t think you work in the kind of place that’s cool with that, invest in a pretty hair tie — holla at Brunsli or make your own — then keep those locks well-groomed and looking fly.
And if you’re going out on job interviews, and you show up looking professional and elegant, give great interview, and bring your A game… and STILL don’t get the job and think it’s because of your natural hair? Then stay on that job hunt. Your qualifications, expertese, talent, and smarts are what SHOULD matter in the workplace. Who wants to work for a company that won’t accept you for who you are?
This article, titled Black Hairstyle in the Workplace, says it all quite well. It ends on this note: “Katrina Williams, the New York management consultant, says she’s not interested in wearing braids to work anymore – they’re too time consuming to groom – but values her right to wear her hair as it grows naturally. “When it comes to, ‘This is my hair, natural,’ versus ‘Do I need to perm it?’” Williams said, “I just decided if people are looking at my natural hair and thinking it’s not professional, that’s not a place where I should be working, because they clearly have some discrimination issues.”
I definitely don’t think anyone should be restricted to wearing unnatural hair styles in the corporate world in order to be accepted, or to advance in the ranks. If a company won’t consider your qualifications over your coif, then I think they don’t deserve you as an employee. But my lack of experience with corporate environments makes me feel like I can’t truly offer an unbiased or truly informed perspective here. So I reach out to my bellas in the worlds of accounting, law, marketing, sales… making that paper in office cubes across the world. What have you noticed about the perception of natural hair in the workplace? What advice would you give Robin, or any other afrobella who’s entering the world of work with a natural do? What say you?
By the way, when I was looking for “professional afro” on Google, I came across this fascinating Japanese hair site — yup, people are going to hairdressers to get their naturally straight hair made into curly afros and dreads. Just goes to show you, the grass really is always greener on the other side.
Category: Ask Afrobella, Hair, Issues
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One more thing. In regards to black people not liking natural hair. I liked to think of my grandmother, my American one from Mobile, Alabama. She was an awesome lady. Granny hated my hair, hated, hated it. She didn’t hate it because she hated black people or culture. She loved black people. Everything I know about black America I learned from granny, but my hair. The reason she hated my hair was because she thought I was going to end up homeless owing to the style. She would say, “You got a degree, you talk good, you’re a pretty girl, you could be one of those models or lawyer type people, but you got to fix your hair.” Granny only read Ebony, Jet, the Readers Digest, and the Sears Catalog. In order to be successful she thought you had to have successful hair. My dreads aren’t socially acceptable manicured dreads, they are some real dreadlocks, like the kind I’d think the people who killed Jamaican tourism for awhile might have had……….I don’t think she hated my hair because she hated black people or African textured hair. I think she hated my hair because she was afraid of what would become of me if I didn’t learn to play the game. She felt all I had to do was be good and I could be world famous like an actress or something. She had big dreams for me. She said that I had a personality. Keep in mind my granny was born in 1910 she lived to be 93 years old. I think she would think about how her brothers had gotten lynched, slavery, and jim crow and all kinds of things and she knew happened to people who didn’t conform and since she loved me she didn’t want horrible things to happen to me. I think she suspected that I was a bit hard headed and that if she could at least get me to look the part, maybe people wouldn’t notice the other stuff…lol…
Jane
Jane, I was best friends in jr. high with a Chinese girl — EXACT same experience. She hated her eyes. Even now, there’s the big debate among Asian women — should they get the lid surgery to get the round eyes, or not? My friend would almost be in tears about her eyes — from her own people — and from other people asking stuff like — can you see the same? Whatever.
And you’re right. That’s what I was saying about the legacy of slavery. They started it, but we perpetuate it. My children are way lighter than me. But I know that all this stuff starts with us now and stops with us. SO, I try really hard to teach them that dark is pretty and so is light, same with straight/curly/kinky. I don’t want them to not like themselves because they aren’t dark. Basically, I just try to teach them that dark/light straight/curly/nappy WHATEVER is not better or worse, just different. I hope I’m successful, that remains to be seen. I mean, we don’t sit around all the time philosophizing about it, there preschool and grade school, for goodness’ sake, but I firmly believe if we step up and start with our children, we can change things. The story about the 6-year-old makes me so sad and angry. Because those boys learned that somewhere, and sad to say, it was probably in our community.
I’m going to have to put myself on an Afrobella diet, I think. I need to click on the keys and make some money and stop the extracurricular clicking.
” But we’re wrong if we think all our lighter sisters think they’re better.” belbroma…………………..Jane says: I don’t think anyone said that. No one thinks that lighter skinned women think they are better. We said that dark skinned black women are treated worse in the African-American community and I think this is true. I don’t believe in the pain is relative thing. I think dark skinned women are treated worse and it should be said and not corrected and not minimized. No one does that to biracial women in regards to them saying they are treated bad in regards to some aspects of their life, no one gets on the horn and say monoracial black women are treated badly too. No one does that to fat women, no one gets on the horn and says skinny women are treated bad too. There are whole boards dedicated to those topics and no one ever disrespects or minimizes anyone’s pain, except the dark skinned black women’s pain. Dark black women are treated badly by black people and it’s not right and I add no buts to that statement.
Jane
Belbroma,
I wasn’t meaning to be an ass with my last statement. I was just trying to restate what I was saying and yours happen to be a good post to bounce off of.
Jane
“Also, when I say don’t believe the hype, I am also talking to those people who may have the “good hair†and/or lighter skin, you are no better than the rest.”
I guess I took that comment to mean that some people do think that lighter-skinned people they think they’re better.
I wasn’t trying to minimize darker-skinned people’s pain. It took me a lot of growing up to accept myself. I used to pray to be lighter. I remember reading a story when I was in second grade about a girl who scrubbed her skin with Ajax, trying to get lighter, and all she got was redder and some serous physical pain, and I totally related. And I’m not dark-dark, just I guess on the low end of the medium dark spectrum. If you felt I was trying to minimize the whole dark woman thing, I’m sorry that it was misconstrued that way. I’m not trying to buy into the whole “tragic mulatto” thing, either. I guess I’m just a mom on top of everything else, and I worry about my girls and their experience, too. Which will be different from mine, for a lot of reasons.
Hey, Jane. I didn’t take it that way at all. Actually, I’m really starting to enjoy your posts….my personality is a lot different from yours, I think, and at first I was like WOW. But you have a lot of valid points, and a lot of experiences that actually I can relate to. The grandma thing, for one!
“I guess I took that comment to mean that some people do think that lighter-skinned people they think they’re better.” Bebroma
____________________________________________________
I think that’s an African-American woman trait, regardless of how screwed African-American women get, they always want to be fair. Black women don’t want to talk about what happens to them, because that’s taking away from time that someone who isn’t as strong (in a black woman’s mind) could be talking about themselves. Sometimes I think black women have a bit too much empathy. I think it probably goes back to slavery times. I mean that was still less than 150 years ago. Our people have been slaves longer than they have been free, at least in the US. The master is first and his feelings, then the master’s kids and their feelings and then your man and his feelings and then your kids and their feelings and if there is a little bit left, maybe you can throw yourself a bone. White women have support boards, biracial women have support boards, big women have support boards, single women with kids, homeschoolers, transgendered people, but not really black women. That’s just not acceptable to be seen as wallowing, but it’s not wallowing, it’s standing up for yourself. If you don’t tell people to get off you they forget that your back is not a stepping stool, in fact you forget that your back is not a stepping stool. In regards to black women support boards it is always in the form of a beauty board (i.e. hair, make up, etc) that way we can support each other without being too self-indulgent about the real pain. Anyways we have to get up every once in awhile to remind people that we’re human beings and not robots.
(I like bringing up slavery, because I had a friend from China that didn’t know about it and after I explained he understood this country a lot better. There are lots of new immigrants than don’t know, I like to let them know. The US tries to minimize slavery and it’s impact on black people and that is a little bit of b.s., People go aren’t you over that? No, I’m not over the slavery thing. I’m still pretty pissed about that. I’m a jerk, so sue me.)
Jane
There’s a single mother support board? I will have to look into that.
I think “getting over” slavery is impossible. We are a matriarchal society — why? Because of slavery. The fact that as a community we do not support each other financially and in other ways as other minority groups do — a legacy of slavery. I do not believe that you can erase 300+ years of dehumanization, etc., from our collective conscious in the less than 150 years it has been abolished. Never mind that the whole civil rights movement was less than 50 years ago. Whenever I think about black male soldiers coming back to this country after WWII and having fewer rights than prisoners of war from countries like Germany (there are recorded instances where black soldiers stood outside in the sun while POW German POWs sat in air conditioned comfort eating ice cream) — there are just no words. And people do forget all those things, especially if it didn’t/doesn’t affect them directly. A human failing, I think. Let me get back to work.
Thank you for your article on curly hair in the office. I am not African-American, but I do have wavy/curly/frizzy hair (part of my Jewish heritage) that has looked messy all my life. I generally like my hair, but at job interviews or important meetings, I always feel unpolished compared to the straight-haired women. I resent the fact that straight hair is seen a sensible, professional, and “cool” and curly hair is seen otherwise.
If I had a lot of hair, I’d be able to smooth it with products like your friend Jessica (whose hair looks perfect to me; just the look I’m trying to achieve). Unfortunately, I just don’t have a lot of hair so products often just make me look like a greaseball.
Anyway, I will just consult with my stylist about it, but I just appreciate the topic. I never knew anyone had the same issues than me about this. It’s refreshing.
Oh, and that editor from Glamour can go jump in the lake. How ignorant!
As a P.S., an African-American friend of mine wears her hair naturally and I was shocked to discover that her choice is often considered “political”, not just by white people, but by other African-Americans.
There’s enough room for different styles and choices!
I just want to say, since I have to pretend to work since I’m sitting in front of a computer. My hair is political. My clothes are political. My art is political. Everything I do is political, BUT that being said, everyone who looks sort of like me isn’t political. I learned that the hard way. I get kind of bummed really. I see a black woman with dreads and I get all excited, like I get excited when I see a white woman with tattoos and a mohawk or an asian woman with a bald head I automatically think. “This woman gets it, she is on my team,” but then it turns out she’s some corporate type, because now looking crazy is completely ok and then I’m all bummed. I feel like I’m being teased. I feel like getting a perm and wearing a suit, since now it’s socially acceptable to have dread or an afro and tattoos and piercing in the corporate arena (especially if you’re in the arts, in LA.) You trendy corporate types have taken all of the fun out of being unique
People want to promote me and give me jobs at museums were people can see me, it all kind of sucks really. I don’t want a job. I don’t want people to talk to me. I want to scare people. No one thinks I’m scary anymore. How can I bitch about the system if I’m part of the system? People want to put me in commercials to sell stuff. I’m going to have to turn up the volume 
I’m going to get a sensible bob and wear a 1930s dress that covers me up from my neck to my knees with tights and pratical shoes. Where can I buy a pressing comb at_________Jane
I justr discussed this very subject on http://www.nappturality.com, having just recently interviewed for a senior financial analyst position with a leading bank. Here’s what I said:
“I got a call a few weeks ago from a former colleague about an open sr. analyst position at her current employer. I got a call that evening from her manager asking me to come in for an interview the next day. That’s right, no time to do a fierce twistout. So I washed my hair that morning and attempted to create my neat puff with a stretchy headband as I’ve done countless times before. As Murphy’s Law would have it, it was fuzzy and sticking out in all the wrong places, and the headband wouldn’t sit right. I took a comb, brush and spritz bottle with me to work so I would have a chance to fix it later. I had about 3 minutes after work to do something with my hair before my interview at 6 pm.
One week later I got the job, with a (very much needed) $12K raise. With a messy puff. That experience helped me to see that confidence, a fly suit, good conversation and your skills are what should speak for you in an interview. If they had decided not to hire me because of my less-than-perfect puff, then that wouldn’t be a place I’d want to work at anyway.”
How did we go from whether or not nappy hair can be professional to light skin/ dark skin thing?
Because it’s easily connected. Nappy hair, “good” hair, light skin/ dark skin. Who is ok. Who is not. It’s all connected don’t you think. Why do you think people have a problem with nappy hair in regards to being professional, it’s not because blue bloods wear their hair like that. Jane
I agree with Jane’s explanation, but I gotta say — Black Honey, I wondered the same thing. Don’t get me wrong, there’s definitely a wealth of valuable, on point information that commenters have shared here. But we’ve also drifted from what I thought the discussion was going to be. But I’m learning from all of it. It’s given me a lot to think about, on top of the nothing-to-do-with-afrobella stuff I’ve been dealing with this week.
You would be suprised to know that in the Trinidad of 2007, people watch you funny in the workplace when you rock an afro.
And you (I) continuosly get comments like “So you’re just letting it grow?”…”So what are you going to do next with it?”…
I actually think the reverse is true now, where people respond more positively to dreds than to someone with an afro.
Choice is a wonderful thing, and we should stop contributing to racism. If a sister wants to wear her hair curly or straight, that is her choice, and she should not judged by Corporate America or others. I think those who have already stated, that the appearance of cleanness and neatness make all the difference.
As a puerto rican/black woman, with naturally curly hair, that I sometimes flat iron, and sometimes just add mousse, depending on how I feel recognize everyone doesn’t have that option.
I have seen some of my sisters with some hair-dos that make me turn my head, from the various colors they dye their hair, or add to their hair, to “waterfalls,” to “french rolls,” that are literally large as a loaf of wonder bread. These hair-do’s are meant to grab attention, sometimes that attention will not be positive. In regards to dreads, twist, and braids, the only thing I don’t understand on some people is the hair pointing in 25 different directions, it does look strange, and dreads that are not fresh often do look like unkept dreads.
Just an opinion.
Hi everyone, this is my first time ever on this site and I think is great. I am an original ConcreteLoop.com gossip queen. And I found this site thru ConcreteLoop. I am responding, becuase I find myself in the same situation at my workplace. I am a Teller for an Credit Union and I never have been questioned about my hair. I just started growing my hair naturally because I want to grow into dreadlocks. At first I tried getting weaves to hide my process, but then I found it too expensive. So I am now going without weaves. I keep my hair as neat as possible and I flat iron it once a week after I wash it. Thats the only way I can get into a ponytail. I asked my boyfriend did he think I still look professional, because I felt weird at work. Even though it has never been an issue. This article satisfies that gut feeling that I have in my workplace. Thank You so much!!!! I can now relax at work with my BIG but NEAT HAIR
great post & great site!
I can’t believe the level of ignorance, though I remember it from living the States. I am Jamaican and live and work in Europe. I have meetings all the time with CEOs in the pharmaceutical industry and politicians at the EU and UN. I also rock a big ass Afro and that’s after 10 years of rocking a baldy. I refuse to conform!
As Bob sey, some of wi need to “Emancipate ourselves from mental slavery” especially if we buy into the need to change who we are for a job. You have to demand respect in corporate America or they will have no incentive to treat you with respect.
I think we are overlooking the major point of the Editor’s words. She stated “Political”.
Please understand this. The foundation of OUR hair being a problem for White Corporate America has nothing at all to do with Corporate fashion protocols, but has everything to do with Black people showing signs of “African/Black identify, unity/togetherness in anyway. When we wore Natural Afros and greeted one another as “Brother and “Sister” so much so that we were deemed “Afro” Americans by Whites in this Country. This was a major problem for them. The natural way we wore our hair translated into unity and genunine love and concern we once had for one another. This, in the eyes of White America, White Corporate America is political. Three or more Black corporate employees standing at the water cooler talking is Political, and believe or not, there are Black people in corporate America who wouldn’t get caught dead talking to more than one Black person at work. Recently on the Michael Baisden Show, he asked, regarding the Jena 6 situation, why do Black people not care about the suffering of Black people anymore? My answer to that is because we no longer identify with one another anymore. We are no longer “Afro” Americans. We are Perm-American, Weave-Americans, Extension-Americans, Dye-Americans, Relaxed-Americans, and Corporate Americans. So, when a beautiful Sister such as my wife is seen out in public with her mini Fro, she is looked at by other Sisters as if she is fresh off the Slave Ship as if to say, “You better STOP wearing your hair the way GOD intended, you’re making us look bad around the good White folk”. WE are far better slaves by choice than our ancestors who were by force. The Black hair care industry is a 15 billion dollar industry, but before you applaud, this industry is controlled by Koreans not by the Black woman and man. Yes, Madame CJ Walker is crying in her grave. The Koreans have a great deal more reason to thank her than we do. What the Editor said implies far more than you think. Black women “going back Home” will negatively affect a 15 billion dollar industry, thus it is very political and they will stop you with the threat of losing your “job” or not getting the “job”.
I was confronted with a question by a student. ‘Why do you wear your hair out like that?’ ‘Like what’, I said, she says, ‘like that’. She was staring at me the moment I step into the classroom and just felt the need to ask me the question after class. Almost everyday for class I rock a fro, a big one. This student is a black female & to a certain extent I wasn’t shocked. I still haven’t said anything to her and then she asks me ‘aren’t u embarassed coming into class with your hair looking like that?’ And I’m thinking to myself….again with the ‘like that’. At that point I didnt have any patience for this individual. I just look at her & walked off, people like that don’t deserve answers because if she was smart & know her history she would already know the answer. I reached a point in life where I’m comfortable with my hair, I know what I’m standing up for & at the end of the day just comfortable with myself. Its stupid questions individuals like her ask that bothers me, especially coming from a black person who thinks that its an embarrassment to come out the house with an afro or with a natural hair style period.
I am majorly late on this discussion but…
I have always said: Not all natural hairstyles are appropriate for all work environments, but your natural HAIR is ALWAYS appropriate for ANY environment (unless you’re in a relaxer commercial). I have yet to see a work environment in which a TWA wasn’t acceptable…but unfortunately we all know that most sisters don’t have the guts to wear their hair that short. (In almost 12 years of natural life, I’m currently wearing a TWA for, maybe, the sixth time.)
I worked in corporate America for 17 years, the last 9 with natural hair in all kinds of styles INCLUDING dreadlocks. And I NEVER EVER had a problem…not only did they not censure me, or threaten to fire me; they PROMOTED me (and paid me accordingly). And I have what I call “classic nappy” hair: the kind no one has ever mistaken for “good” hair.
The only people who had issues with my hair on the job were black people in general and black women in particular but — and it still pains to say this — I only had to work for a black person once in those 9 years and HE didn’t have a problem with my hair. And I am THANKFUL for that.
I am SICK AND TIRED of black folks passing off inferiority and self-subjugation as a cultural necessity in 2007. If some of you want to believe that you aren’t good enough to wear your God-given hair like 90% of the planet, fine…just get out of MY face about it. Personally, I’m trying to live as a FREE HUMAN BEING.
*Ms Nappy Nazi has spoken! SIEG HEIL! *rolls eyes*
Okay, I’ve got one more thing to say on this subject:
When I first went natural, I had black folks asking me: “They let you wear your hair like that?” My response: “I wasn’t aware I had to ask their permission!”
Has it ever occurred to anybody that it’s not really UP to white folks how you should wear your hair? Again, this speaks to power and freedom…two things that, sadly, seem to be in short supply these days.
Stop giving up your power. Start claiming your freedom.
*okay, I’m out for real now*
Cosign with lbellatrix! We keep rejecting what God has given us, in order to please man who has given us nothing…it’s kind of like saying to God, our Creator, who has created lakes, mountains, flowers, trees…everything that is beautiful and complex, and telling him, “Lord you f’ed up my hair, and you made my skin too dark!” IMO
You may as well make yourself happy. No matter what you do, you’ll never please everybody. White ppl are going to think what they want to think about us anyway.
Nothing like skin color to get black women going. A lot of sisters can talk about this topic for days. I saw that someone was trying to take this conversation their in the Michelle Obama post but thank God no one stepped into the ring. I knew it wasn’t over though.
I had a Aunt who every holiday would take the conversation to the talk about family members who were color struck and who was what complexion.
2007 black women hating the color of their skin is so sad. What you see as unatractive is the very thing that others think is your standout feature. If only we had worked through our issues following slavery(like the Jews did following the Holocaust)then maybe we would be somewhere else right now.
i have a lot of ambivalence about the hair debate sparked by the Glamour editor’s faux pas that is going on. one reason for this is because my mother my sister my wife myself and my father do not have hair like those two women in the blog above. i am also aware that there is a lot of politics in our community about the diversity of hair and the values attached to it. apparently the closer to europe it is the more favourable it is considered whilst the closer to afrika the less favourable it is. at least that’s my experience. in other words, black hair is not all the same and the experiences of black people regarding hair are not all the same. i therefore think the debate should be broadened to include eurocentrism and the embeddedness of white supremacy and the impact that this is having on us as a people where ever in the world we live and operate. by the way i am quite comfortable with the physical diversity of our community. if white people are still having a problem with black peoples image in this day and age and attempting to manipulate our behaviour in such a way that we should be more like them then god help us, and i’m not a believer. i can only hope that the strong ones in our community prevail. in my view the issue is how do we as a people disengage from this eurocentric brainwashing and liberate ourselves from mental slavery. white people will always say what they want. it is time for us to to stop being reactive and start being proactive and setting the criteria for the debate.
I am a lawyer and have worked as a law clerk in 2 east coast federal courts of appeals and the leading law firm in an east coast state. It does not get more conservative than that. I have worn my hair natural in the workplace for years. I did lots of up-dos, neat twists and braids, a giant, single afro-puff. I have gone to federal and state courts in natural hair representing corporate and individual clients. A classmate who worked at Cleary, the same law firm where this event took place, wore all sorts of natural hair styles as she transitioned from a relaxer to natural hair (big-chop fro, twists, braids, starter-dreads, dreads). Other black women there that I met through my friend also wore natural styles. I’ve been to this law firm for meetings, social events and met women at bar functions from this firm with natural hair styles. Of course not every black woman there wore natural – many wore relaxed hair – but at least for the time my friends were there, they had no problem wearing natural hair. I sent my friend the article and she confirmed that she had no problem wearing natural hair there. The key to surviving in this environment is being an attorney who could deliver for her clients. Just remembered something else regarding gender and hairstyles: a male summer intern that my firm hired wore beautiful dreads. And he had a distinctive “so-called black name.” He did very well, and was offered a permanent position as an associate, which he kept for 3 years, until he moved to another state. IMHO and in my very small sample population, as long as the worker is competent, people move on and no longer notice “THE HAIR.”
Most law firms have photos of their attorneys on line. I just did a search at Cleary Gottleib’s site (A through B only) clicking on women’s names and found a sister wearing a natural style. Did not do the entire firm – the firm has hundreds of attorneys. Might be others with natural there if you have time to waste clicking on head shots. Am aware that photos are not updated everytime someone changes her hairstyle. Shout out to the sister I came across (A through B only) who made partner at Cleary. Much respect to you and all the other sisters and brothers who made partner.
hey everybody … enjoying the discussion. hair and weight are always super hot topics and we can’t be afraid of the heat. we just have to go their and be clear and talk truth. truth is i wear my rough and nappy hair out a lot – i twist it an then take it out. maybe i’m not doing it right. but it really seems to disturb people. i guess it’s the outness and since it’s not a neat fro, there’s an undefinedness to it. it makes me feel really self-conscious and often downright ugly because there isn’t enough positive coming back at me. now if i lived in brooklyn, i might feel less isolated but i don’t. plus i am 30-something and professional, so sometimes i get the impression that this is osmething i should have gotten out of my system in college. but that now i should just relax and settle down, if you know what i mean. but now is when i’m ready to rock it out, you know. my kind of hair is often described as “wild,” “fabulous” or “cool” but i’m not a performer or a diva. i’m a teacher. the thing is that the standards weren’t made with my hair do in mind. if i were a hip hop star well then… but i’m not. professionalism is all about restraint — of emotions, clothing, everything is supposed to be toned down. and curly hair or natural nappy black hair or even certain body shapes – large breasts, for example, just violates the norms. there are variations in certain professions but i think professional life is very sort of Gappy, JCrewish, i.e., middle-of-the road and not standing out. but we just always stand out – we leave neon footprints (as one writer put it) so we have to learn to deal with that reality and manage what we’re going to do. hair gets into the deep recessses of what makes us feel beautiful or disgusting – accepted or rejected. it’s your body and it’s with you. sometimes i feel like people are talking about my pubic hair. you know, that’s how exposed i feel. and whether we have rough and nappy or the various curly kinds of hair, we have all been made to feel disgusting or beautiful based on racialized/sexualized ideas about our hair – recall the whole ‘nappy-headed hos’ comment. if you’re over these issues good for you but i’m tired of being tough. i’ve been hurt by the feeling of rejection i have because i don’t fit the profile. i’m working on sort of accomodating the profile and making sure my mind and hair and all else is healthy. there is a lot at stake when it comes to how we present ourselves at work. and it’s annoying when your job isn’t as much accounting, as it’s being black. you know…like if oh, let’s for fun imagine michelle obama going natural. the woman would have to spend all her time talking about her hair the way hillary has to talk about her pantsuits.
when there’s an evening news network anchor – which i think reflects the standards of mediocrity and nice, conservative, non-disturbing appearance and speech patterns – with any kind of black natural hair then it’s clear we can go do whatever we want. but for now, i think you just can’t be naive and you have to know the culture of your profession and sort out for yourself how you’re going to function in it and don’t look back unless you feel like you want to change professions or it’s serving you. it isn’t fair for a free-lance writer who has sort of tight curly hair and bronze skin to say to someone like rachel, well, it’s up to you to just believe in yourself and stop being a victim. who feels it knows it. meaning that free-lance or casual office person doesn’t know what the rough-haired law student or medical doctor or professor–oh yes, professors have to deal with this crap too–is up against. so within this community we have to understand and empathize with struggles that some of us have out there. and frankly, i think a little bit of humility and vulnerability would go long way to resolving these issues on the deeper personal levels. all to say, rachel, i feel you. you are not crazy. you are not oversensitive. we have more work to do to accept ourselves on certain levels because the culture doesn’t give us a pass the way it seems to others. at the same time, the media makes everyone feel bad so it shouldn’t be taken too too seriously after a point. you gotta sort out how you’re going to fall in love with yourself and take care of your body and present yourself to yourself in a way that makes you feel pretty. think about living in a more diverse area, finding a new circle of friends–or having a professional photographer make creative photographs of you, so he or she can help you see yourself. or move to paris! which, historically has done so much for New World black women although there is a dark side to that… beauty isn’t all fun and games. it attaches to deep personal and social issues for everybody
I really like that idea about having a professional photographer make creative photos….I think that would be a marvelous way for Rachael to see her physical beauty from an outside perspective.
I don’t think anything she said misrepresented the truth about the corporate world, but it was not applicable to the legal field where all those diversity commitments are actually followed for fear of a litigation.
I happened to relax my fro a few days before the article came out. I was told that I would regret it. I don’t so far. I’ve never mastered the art of hair maintenance so while my relaxed hair is still pulled up, it’s easier for me to maintain and I can actually go to salons to get my hair done now. All the ones near me “don’t work with that texture.” The only place I could get my hair done before was a Brazilian place and they did my relaxer too.
Do what you want with your hair. I pick ease above all else and since having the relaxer, I spend a lot less time thinking about and doing my hair. If I lived on the west coast where there seems to be more natural hair places with great experts and less humidity in general, I probably wouldn’t have made that decision.
I just recently began wearing my hair in its natural state (though I am transitioning). I LOVE it. And I work in one of the big 4 companies – way conservative. I get compliments nearly everyday. People constantly want to touch it (no). I’m tall – about 5’10″ so I know that means I look fierce when it’s out in its full glory. Plus, it matches my face in a way relaxers never did. Amazing. I spent years getting my hair rodded to try to look sort of like this – and this looks great all on its own.
I finally realized that I can do things with my hair that no one else can (well, no other non-black people). It makes me feel beautiful to rock my natural hair and it’s so easy. Even the transitioning is easier because of all of the natural hair at the root growing in. I will never go back to a relaxer and I dare anyone to tell me my hairstyle is not ‘professional’. What I love most is that other women can get fake tans, they can get butt implants and they can get lip injections – but they still can’t get our REAL hair texture – not even with those fake afro perms. Our hair texture varies all over our head for a special uniqueness you can’t get from perms. I say we embrace our natural hair – finally something they can’t take away from us. Something that makes us supremely unique and beautiful. Imagine if all sistas rocked the curly fro or another natural style. Talk about making a statement.
Last week, I went to meet with some people about a job. As I was waiting for the elevators a white guy approached me and said: ” I love your hair. I wish my hair looked like that.” Now me with my curly fro (or that’s what it looks like to the untrained eye) nodded and smiled. To me this is a regular occurence.
I will NEVER change my natural hair!!! I see a more respectful side of people (of all races) when I have my hair natural. As some people were stating on this post, I belive that not only non blacks but blacks as well have ideas of what natural vs. non natural relates to. I get compliments on the street, when I go to meeting in corporate america (and I mean the big dogs!!) or when Im hanging out on the streets. Usually blacks, whites and asians are most receptive while many (not all) LATINOS are still hung up on the “trying not to be associated with black” approach.
Now sure, Im not saying that people dont stare at my hair at interviews or meetings but because of my confidence, background and experience they quickly look past the hair and get to the business at hand: are you qualified?
I say as long as you are true to who you are, you rock your hair FIERCE and you stay positive, YOU WILL GET WHERE YOU NEED TO GO!!
I constantly point out (as proof of passive racism) the fact that once a black man’s hair is an inch or more his hair is no longer “professional”. Or more to the point, how come black man are the only people who have to get basically scalped to be acceptable.
Going natural is the best thing ever! I have never felt more beautiful. The funny thing is that the hair I was trying to hide is admired and biblical. I get more compliments than ever. I am currently stationed in Baghdad, Iraq and the colored women here are falling apart due to lack of creamy crack. There are not many salons here and the ones we have do not cater to relaxed/natural hair. The water here is really hard and I see relaxed hair all over the bathroom floor daily. I understand and respect that we have a choice to be straight today and afro-ish tomorrow but, at what point do we consider the health of our scalp? To be honest the military is a male dominated profession where most of the men I speak with prefer women that have a natural beauty meaning no fake nails, weaves, extensions, etc. I have had so many men thank me and comment on my natural beauty because they are so tired of seeing the typical, short, damaged, broken-off, head of relaxed hair. In regards to profession, natural hair is very professional and attractive. I imagine if biblical scriptures mention a crown of hair that looks like wool—it must be beautiful!!!!! “Erase the kinks from your mind, not your hair”. Not sure who’s quote that is but I love it!
hmm… on first read I assumed that the anonymous Glamour staffer had to be white. But as other commenters have mentioned, it’s really black people who have a problem with natural black hair. I interned at the Wall Street Journal one summer and it was the black receptionists who gave me a hard time. None of my white male bosses seemed to notice the nappy hairline of my chignon, and the one black female senior writer on staff actually encouraged me to wear my hair out (she happened to see me after hours in my non-corporate gear one day). This hateration smacks like self-hateration. I’m kind of curious to know who actually made the comments, but kudos to Glamour for not outing the staffer who could likely be a young black female from a conservative background.
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I digg you mama.
i just started work at a large multination fairly conservative company and nobody has said a word to me about my hair or my almost 4 month beard. i was a little worried during the interview process but it was never a problem i think some of the other posters are right it has a lot to do with self-loathing, most of hair issues have come at the hands of my own people.
good site humryo
Hello bella Meredith J here. I have a lot to say so you might want to have a seat. I have been natural for three years now and I have yet to find that “perfect product” for my hair, if such a thing even exits. I am in college and I dont have a lot of time or money to spend on my hair. I have been using something called Hawaiian Silky on my hair and, to quote Mick Jagger, I cant get no satisfaction from it. It leaves my hair feeling heavy, greasy, and filmy for days. I have very dry kinky hair and my curls are very tight small spiral curls and I need them to be elongated and bouncy. I have been surfing the net for the past few days looking for products I could possibly use in my hair. Ive been on the websites for Blended Beauty, Mixed Chicks(even though I happen to be a peanut butter colored nubian chick), Miss Jessies, Hair Rules by Dickey, Kinky-Curly, and Carols Daughter and let me tell you my head is spinning!! I need your expert opinion what should I use in my hair? What works? I dont have money to shell out for something that wont work, I have books to buy! Please respond hastely if at all possible.
Sincerely Frazzled, Meredith
Hiya, Im mixed race with afro carribean hair.. struggling to decide if i want curly hair.. because i dont like the length as it is quite short
georgia
Hi bella!
i live in south korea too and am thinking about doing that afro perm. do u think my chemically treated (relaxed) hair will hold up to this process? and do u know where in SK i could get this done
Hi! I know I’m late but I just decided to go ahead and get the internet. I was looking for afro american unrelaxed hair styles and ran across this site. I love it I couldn’t stop reading it. I love it. I have been natural for eight years and I braid and weave. I braid, weave, twist, flat iron, fro, afro puff you name it but I’m always looking for more things to do with my hair. I love it. Going natural was the best thing I ever done to and for my hair. I don’t let people make me fell self conscious about my hair because they will try. I do agree with some of the other bloggers that its our own people who say the most ignorant and hurtful things to me but I’ve learned to shake it off and keep my head held high while I’m telling them how much they hate themselves and are brainwashed in a way that they can’t reconize thier own beauty.
CurlyJ #2Post “Keep doing what you are doing, don’t let anyone influence you to make a decision regarding your hair because you have to look at your hair in the mirror evryday. You must know, “All things are possible though Christ who streghtens me. Nothing is too big or small for God”.
RyanB I rock my natural hair and lovin it. I love to be different. I don’t care who don’t like it. I agree diversity in the work place is huge so dare to be different. I love being set apart from everyone else. I wore my 1 1/2 in. fro to a job interview in a supercenter, in the pharmacy dept. with my two piece and got the job.
RyanB (continuing) I wore a two piece suit. My resume, experince and professionalism spoke for me.
Jane I agree. I wear my natural hair but I also wear weaves, extentions and even flat iron it too but I don’t think my current hairstyle should cause me to be judged by people who are self-righteous. My hairstyle don’t make me any less conscious. I also agree that is not a good measuring stick for anything.
Kamikak I understand, when I first went natural my greatest hurts came from other black people whom i thought would have understood. I lived in a city that was predominately Black and now I live in a city that’s predominately Hispanic and its all about your self confidence. I still hold my head up high.