IMO, most magazine sex advice is good for one thing.
Seriously, my husband and I read Cosmo’s sex tips when we’re in line at the grocery store and just LOL. As The Frisky says: “while many of Cosmo‘s columns are relatively harmless, the “Things to Try In Bed” features are occasionally so far off track that they threaten to ruin relationships and mental health.”
In fact, lots of the intimate advice and product reviews (particularly those in print) can be impractical, and in my belief, is often churned out by people who just need to turn in a new column to their editors ASAP without regard for what feels good and what doesn’t, or by writers who may have never managed to sustain a successful, long-term relationship.
I’ve been married for 7 years, and my husband and I have been together as a couple for a decade. And I believe marriage gets a bad rap as being an indicator of some kind of romantic doldrums. That isn’t my experience, and it shouldn’t be yours, either. However, I will say that marriage (and long term monogamy in general) requires creativity.
Before I jump into this post, I’d like to preface this by saying — my mama reads this blog. So does my dad. And my mom-in-law, sister, brothers, etc. And I have lots of readers who are young, or more conservative in their outlook on certain things. I respect all of you (and myself) enough to not share information that’s embarrassing, or to change the direction of this blog into something it’s not. Please know that.
I resisted the urge to write a more adult post for a while now, but I was recently emboldened and inspired by Oprah’s special adults-only episode starring Jenna Jameson. That and a discussion with Mama Bella. I know if I can share information of this nature with her, I can share it with my bellas! Like the Candyman says, “everyone should love this, cause everybody does it!”
Having offered that preface, please feel free to click here for a more innocuous post. But if you’re an adult who’s interested in learning more about some grown and sexy gift ideas to make your holiday season sizzle, you may want to continue reading.
OK…where was I? Oh yes, creativity. It’s easy to feel stuck in a comfortable rut, or to find yourself in an uninspiring routine when you’ve been with the same person for a long time. That’s when you might want to spice things up with a special stocking stuffer for your significant other. How spicy? Well, that’s up to you.
You can do some one-stop-sexytime shopping at Eden Fantasys — the online store sells everything from toys to lingerie and far, far beyond. And Afrobella readers are in luck — you can include code “EFLUVS2010” to receive 15% off anything from the site!
I got my hot little hands on the Weekender Kit by Kama Sutra — it’s the size of your palm, and comes packed with enough fun little products-to-try to last you through many a chilly holiday weekend. Honey Dust is delish, the teeny feather applicator is fun (and even moreso if you use a blindfold), and the oil of love manages to both heat and cool wherever you apply it. $28 for an awesomely naughty and nice holiday prezzie.
If you’re seeking something that’s more of a gift for you (and what’s wrong with that?) I have a particular brand recommendation. Two words — Fun Factory. This German-based erotic toy company has something for the most hesitant to the most adventurous among us. They’re cute and innocuous looking, and they’re of incredible quality, too!
Those vibrating condom thingies sure are popular these days…but I’m not a fan of them, myself. I hate having to futz around with tiny buttons or doohickeys while in the throes of passion, and my husband doesn’t love it either. So if you want the effect without the drama, you may want to consider the Fukuoku finger massager or a pair of Fukuoku Gloves.
Another fun stocking stuffer that can be for him (but is really for you) — KY Intense. Let’s clear up some misconceptions right off the bat. This isn’t a lubricant, it’s an “arousal gel.” You really really REALLY don’t want to use more than a teeny-tiny drop of this, or you risk experiencing numbness (and nobody wants that during intimacy, right?) It’s both warming and cooling, and comes in a slender little black container that’s perfect for a Christmas stocking. The cons: it costs $25, kind of smells like pain-relieving liniment, and doesn’t work for everyone. Judging from the reviews I’m seeing online, there are many confused customers out there. I have yet to review the KY Yours + Mine couples lubricant, but I’ve heard better anecdotes about it — and it’s more affordable at $17.
Just for the record, I had quite the eyebrow-raising discussion with my mom about owning and potentially reviewing products of this nature. My thing is, I believe that life is to be savored and lived to the fullest, most beautiful capacity in every sense. I sincerely hope I didn’t offend anyone with this very different kind of Afrobella post, my goal was to share some recent discoveries that could in turn, make your romantic life a bit more fun as well.
I’m really looking forward to your comments. Would you like to see more of this kind of thing, or nada mas? Let me know what you think either way!