They Say What Happens in Vegas, Stays in Vegas…

But not this time. Cause I’m gonna tell you about almost all of it!

I missed you bellas — been insanely busy and that vacay was VERY necessary. Internet cost $12 a day at the hotel, so I decided to step away from the computer altogether and spend my time hanging out with family and old friends, while making some new friends.

My sister in law lives in Las Vegas, and her husband was born and raised there. So we’ve visited before and done the Las Vegas strip — it’s so bright and exciting, but it can be too much. As someone who lives in Miami and hardly ever ventures over to South Beach, I must say that I empathize with Las Vegas locals. There’s much fun to be found off the strip, and I love discovering a city’s hidden gems. Here’s a review of my Las Vegas experience. Let’s start with the hotel!

Here I am, all prettied up to hit the strip and posing in our hotel room.

Like the black dress? I got it at B & Lu, and I LOVE it. Great experience shopping with them, affordable, tres chic, and ooh, are those subtle little pockets nobody notices unless you want them to? Great deal, definitely recommend.

OK, let me tell you about the hotel!

The Green Valley Ranch resort is gorgeous and sprawling — there’s a first rate spa, a big casino with several restaurants (ranging from fancy steakhouse to pancake house, with a food court, buffet marketplace, and a pretty good Cheesecake Factory rip off besides that). There’s also a cinema, a concert venue (Seal played there the night of the wedding), and a beautiful pool area, where I pretty much spent all my time.

If you’ve been following me on Twitter, you’ll know — the cocktails by this pool are amazing. I loved the Kusababa, a frozen blend of pina colada and Zen green tea liqueur, and the pineapple mojitos, which always go down smooth. Las Vegas sun absolutely bakes your skin and leaves you dry, so I gotta give props to Neutrogena — that Ultra Sheer sunblock kept my skin in tact. I came home about two shades toastier and with glowy cheeks, but my skin isn’t peeling or flaky at all. I love the SPF 45, and it always amuses me when people are surprised at the sunscreen I’m using. Skin cancer is a risk no matter how dark your skin is, and it’s important to know that
higher SPF doesn’t always mean higher protection. I apply carefully and reapply often.

Our days were spent poolside, but every night we did something fun — first stop, Fado Irish Pub for cocktails. It’s a fun, inviting chain of pubs that I’ve also visited in Chicago, and my new brother in law Rich, works at the Las Vegas pub. Stop by, have a drink, and tip the tall, friendly redheaded bartender if you’re in the neighborhood!

Friday night we spent at The Peppermill, an atmospheric, old school Vegas lounge that looks like a rundown HoJo on the outside. We chilled in the Fireside Lounge, which has a flaming pool, recessed couches, and giant fruity drinks on the menu. As the website indicates: “Featured insuch films as “Casino” and ”Showgirls” and seen on TV in “CSI Las Vegas” and “Elimidate.” (tee hee). This place makes for great I-wonder-what’s-your-profession people watching, by the by.

Saturday was the wedding, and it was absolutely magical. Held at the quaint and adorable Little Church of the West just across from the Mandalay Bay hotel, the ceremony was ten minutes long at most, and the crowds waiting outside took more photos of our wedding party than of their own, it seemed — people took the Seventies dress code seriously!! Which brings me to a blogging first, and part of my New Year’s resolution to be a braver blogger.

I’ve referred to my husband quite often on this blog, and I’ve posted many photos of my own immediate family — specifically my sister Petal, my parents, my little niece Dominique. I’ve even visited my in-laws before, and wrote all about the wonderful trip I’ve had. But I’ve never before posted a photo of my husband or his family, for one simple reason. He’s asked me not to. But we’ve talked recently, and two years after starting this blog, he’s finally cool with me sharing the other parts of my life with the world.

So everyone, meet Steve, the love of my life, and my wonderful family of in-laws.

Spoiler alert — True Life: I’m in an interracial marriage.

My reasons for not really writing about this before are many — the main one being that my husband and I have faced a little discrimination before from close family and so-called friends in the past, and we didn’t really want to deal with it on the internet, where people reveal pretty horrific prejudices behind the guise of anonymity. Or rather, my husband was just like look — I see how upset you get when you get a bad comment from a reader about a mere product review. Imagine how you’d feel dealing with comments judging our relationship? Imagine how you’d feel if you somehow lost readers because of our relationship?

He’s just trying to protect me because he knows how sensitive I can be. Behind the scenes on this here blog that I consider to be so positive and uplifting, I’ve gotten some downright disturbing comments. In the past, they’ve upset me tremendously. I’ve also gotten annoyed when visiting some of the blogs I read every day, and seen relationships between different races dismissed out of hand as “jungle fever.” It really sticks in my craw when it’s assumed that a relationship is based on little more than skin tone or outward appearance, as though love and the person inside had nothing to do with it. It bothers me because I’ve had people come at me with the most ludicrous assumptions about our relationship.

I’ve had people I thought were friends cut me off completely, back in college. We’ve faced angry questions about what our kids would be labeled as (as though that should be some kind of a deterrent to us having children). It’s been a decade now that we’ve been best friends, and nine years we’ve been together romantically. We’ve been married for six amazing years. I have a different perspective now, and it feels weird and wrong to exclude or hide this part of my life for fear of the reaction of others.

I’m putting all of this out there with just one simple message. I’m rambling and I’m writing this after 2 in the morning and I’m still jet lagged and this post is really just supposed to be a fun lighthearted visit Vegas travel post… but I hope you all forgive me if I get heavy for a moment.

I believe that love is about looking past what’s on the surface, and getting to know, appreciate, and understand each other on a deeper level. What I’m trying to say is, beautiful things can happen when you give a relationship a chance and try not to wrap your future in expectations. I married my best friend from college, and at one point I would never have even considered him as a romantic possibility, much less the soul mate I always dreamed I’d find. In many ways — much to my surprise — our differences have made us a stronger couple. And we’ve discovered similarities I would never have guessed we had, back when I would never ever thought I’d settle down with someone who didn’t fit the assumptions I’d made for myself. Real, true, lasting love goes so much deeper than what you see on the outside. And sometimes, you find it in the most unexpected places.

OK, tangent over. Now — a slideshow of fun wedding photos!

This wedding was super fun and done affordably — after the chapel we had dinner at a Mexican restaurant, then the party bus took us to Dino’s, “the last neighborhood bar in Vegas.” I love a dive bar, and this fit the bill superbly. And we took that place over! It was an absolute blast. My sister in law, Kate, got her dress on Ebay! Rich rented his tux from somewhere online, and my husband wore his dad’s prom suit. The days after the wedding we spent re-visiting the strip — my brother in law Patrick and his girlfriend had yet to see the beautiful water show at the Bellagio, or the Venetian, and we strolled along admiring the grandeur and sleaze. There’s no other city like Las Vegas, and I’m happy to visit anytime. It was a very positive and fun trip, full of love and revelry. Kate, I love you. Rich, welcome to the family. Congratulations on the most fun wedding ever!

And now I’m back, bellas! I’ve got a fresh perspective on life and so much to blog about. Did you miss me?

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Comments

  1. homeinkabul says:

    Welcome Steve! I hope you don’t get any negative comments Bella. :)

  2. Don’t let what others say get you down. I believe people should be free to get love from wherever they can find it, different races, same sex, whatever. I think you guys make a beautiful couple.

  3. I’m sorry that you ever felt as though you couldn’t reveal the fact that you are in an interracial marriage. It is absolutely amazing to me how silly, hateful, and mean people can be. I’m glad that you are not going to let the ignorance of a few dictate your choices as to what you do and do not reveal about yourself and your life on your blog. Love is love and should be celebrated no matter what.

    Glad you had a good time in Vegas – it is one of my favorite cities. Welcome back – you were missed!

  4. you’re a beautiful couple. You radiate joy, afrobella!

    People who limit themselves in love are really the saddest people of all. Happiness is all around us, in different shapes, colors, and forms.

  5. Girl, you better show off your boo!

  6. I think you didn’t show his picture,’cause he’s cute. I’m not mad at you Bella, not at all. :)

  7. Of course we missed you! And we expect to see updates now including Steve – welcome from the internet!

  8. Oh girl please: You’re not rambling. I admire your spirit to be a “braver blogger” and opening up your personal life to the world. You two are awesome together and I wish you both much continued love and success!

  9. I agree with Mrs.YFA he’s cute! Your husband didn’t want you to have to deal with the “ooh ya man is fine” aspect of internet stalking.
    It looks like you had fun in Vegas, and I was eyeing that b&lu dress for a while. Better to see it
    (kinda) on you than that pic online.

  10. AB has mentioned she’s in an interracial marriage before, i can’t remember where but it wasn’t a secret. Your man is goodlooking! I was in an interracial relationship at uni andd i got it from black men, white men and mixed race guys too! ( the hell your mums white!!!)white girls( yes he is with me). Ultimately we broke up, but it wasn’t because of race.
    I just hope one day i will find love doesn’t matter what colour he comes in

  11. oooh! Bella you looked gorgeous & you and your hubby make a charming couple!!

    Glad you went to all my fave spots, I stayed at Mandalay Bay in Vegas, I did not want to get out of that bed! And the strip is definitely colorful, the fountains @ Bellagio…ok i’m going to stop now.

    Congrats to the newlyweds :)

  12. thfromthabay says:

    I’m glad you decided to share your interracial marriage with your fellow bellas, some of us, like myself, grew up with parents looking like you and your husband (reverse with the daddy the chocolate and the momma the nilla). You and your family are beautiful. PS Is your husband a twin cause him & his brother look dead on in pic 2.

  13. I agree with you on so many levels, especially about being a brave blogger. I don’t still haven’t posted pictures about many of the post on my blogs, but I also haven’t been able to put my personal pictures up on my blog, but for some reason under my real identity I have a facebook and a myspace with my son and husband and and some other social accounts that I can’t even remember.

    About the race thing, for some reason, when I heard your accent on one of your videos, I ass-umed that your husband and a lot of your friends were probably caucasian, and I just thought that was cool. First I guess I was expecting a trini-accent, but when I didn’t hear it instead of thinking “oh she’s just been in the states a long time” I thought oh her hubby is white. I truly understand the struggle a little because while I’ve never experienced finding love with someone of another race, my sibling has and many uncles have and we just except them with open arms. Our first reactions we usually keep to ourselves, but then we keep it moving. I just say be happy and don’t worry about what anyone thinks, your are brave enough to sport your hair natural, so you can pretty much do anything.

    Thanks for being so open and honest with your readers.

  14. Are you serious, you really think the blog fam would cut you off because of YOUR husband. We want the part of you that recommends the great products and the wonderful advice. Your personal life, love and happiness is all yours. You and Steve make a lovely couple. “Who Jah bless let no man curse.”
    By the way, my hair is natural and my scalp is dry. . .whacha got?

  15. Bella, you look beautiful and bright as usual. Yeah! He is a cutie… And yes I missed you :)

  16. Mrs.Mckinzie says:

    Bella,I’m so happy that your back.We talk about everything on here so don’t ever feel like we would’nt except Steve who is the true reason why you are always glowing,and congrats! to the newlyweds.

  17. Awww, you guys are the best!!! And I knew the regular family here would be welcoming and wonderful. It’s the others I was thinking about, the folks who love to judge.

    BKBajan, I got a GREAT dry scalp post coming up. And I got a ton of e mails to sift through still, so if I haven’t written back please don’t be mad. Still living out of a suitcase and got no groceries at my crib. Yup, it’s been one of those weeks.

  18. Bella, you are an inspiration and a very talented writer and blogger…continue to let us accept you for you and the choices you have made! :)

  19. Bella,

    You and your super-fine hubby are a gorgeous couple! We now know it’s not just the makeup and your fly hair that gives you your trademark glow–it’s being in a loving relationship with a true partner and best friend. No one should be mad at that. I’m in an interracial relationship myself, so I know how people love to make assumptions about your relationship.

    Anyway, the wedding looked like it was a blast! I can’t wait to hit up Vegas my damn self! LOL

  20. Wow! Never would have guessed you were in an interracial marriage. But take it from someone who has crossed over before, totally understand your hesitation about revealing your personal business on the internet.

    That said, you look wonderful together. So congratulations on finding and marrying your soulmate. Also, here’s wishing you a continued life filled with much joy and happiness together.

  21. My dad just expressed his concern about my posting this, that some readers might see me as less of an afrobella, somehow. But you know what — who vex, lose. If I wasn’t as confident in my relationship, I wouldn’t be putting it out there. And later today, it’s back to reviews and advice for bellas all shades of beautiful. Thank you all for being warm and wonderful. Love! It’s a beautiful thing.

  22. You have a handsome husband and a very fun and wonderful family Bella. That wedding looks like it was a blast!!!

  23. Love is love. No matter the circumstances. And you and Steve are love embodied. :)

    I wish you and Steve happiness, and thank you for sharing with us.

    Bright

  24. First, I’m glad you had a great time in Vegas and thanks for sharing and going against “the code.”

    As for relationships and marriage, my take is very simple…love is love. It has no limit to color or economic status, etc. It comes when you can welcome the great possibilities that love can bring you. I’m glad you found it and I wish it for others too.

  25. WARRIOR11209 says:

    Welcome back Bella – it looks like the wedding was a blast – lovin’ that dress . I wish you and Steve nothing but the best in life – as a parent my sole goal is that my children find people to share their lives that respect and love them back. You and your husband obviously have found this in each other.

  26. I’m happy I get to read insights from a “braver” Afrobella!!!!

    I did miss you, but am glad you have come back refreshed and ready.

    Vegas is my second home! That damn Peppermill Lounge is pretty sexy, and I love the breakfast there.

  27. I really hope you don’t get any negative emails as a result of this. Your husband is very handsome and you make a beautiful couple. Glad you had a good time in Vegas!

  28. I’m glad you had a great time at the wedding. It’s obvious that Steve makes you happy and that’s all that matters. Thank you for sharing that with us :) Don’t fret about the haters, feel sorry for them because they don’t have anyone to make them as happy as you!

  29. You and your hubby look so happy together. I love the pic with sunglasses. We all are human and love the same no matter what color we are!

  30. Welcome back!

    I’ve been hesitating about visiting Vegas (again) lately, simply because I don’t really engage in any vices like gambling or drinking. But your post makes me want to go! I want to see the pubs and dives, lol. And just take in all of it’s beauty.

    Thank you for talking about sunscreen– I am so tempted to start a blog called “Black People Burn Too!” because folks just don’t know. I lived in SoCal all of my life without a drop of sunscreen and last summer I got sunburned for the first time! What a shock to me! From that point on, I can’t leave home without a generous coat of sunblock.

    As for your hotty-err um I mean- your husband (lol), I can understand your hesitating. It’s one thing to put your opinions out there on the chopping block but your personal life is different. I am relatively new to your blog but I am so happy that you feel comfortable enough with us to share your beautiful family with us! I wish I could have gone to that wedding, I loooove the 70s!

  31. I am so glad your back! I’m glad I *do* follow you on twitter otherwise, I wouldn’t have known until probably tomorrow! *smile*

    Awww, y’all are TOO ADORABLE!!! I’m glad you shared the pics. The wedding does indeed look like it was an awesome time and that B&Lu dress is HOT!

  32. Dad and Mom says:

    Since you mentioned me, I have no choice but to add my bit. A father will always be protective, no matter how old or independent his children are. So, yes, I was concerned as I have always been about the personal side in the public domain. You know only too well that I have also experienced some negative reactions from family, friends and even people who do not know me at all, because I married MY soulmate, who was older than me with two children. I said ”was”, because now she is much younger that me….. at least , that is how she looks to me.Anyway, on the 28th September, we would have been married for 40 years; can you believe that? Of course your mom had a much rougher time that me, but the point is that we were meant for each other, we were lucky to have found each other and we have remained great friends who can pretty much lock off the world and still enjoy each other’s company.
    Steve is my son. After that first meeting I knew he was good for you… and I still feel that way. I am very proud of the both of you and together you make a dynamic team.What still remains a memory for us and what touched us both was that Steve actually wrote us asking our permission and blessings to marry you.He has a wonderful family and we feel very connected to them for many reasons.

    So it is all good. You are a fabulous daughter and I am very, very proud of you.
    D

  33. cosmicsistren says:

    Glad to have you back!! I really missed you, I like coming to work and sipping my tea while reading your blog. Your make-up in the pics that I saw looked flawless.

    Now as for your husband………..He is FINE!!!!! Good for you. I’m happy that you both have been together for so long. Being married for 6 years seems like 16 years now a days. I don’t know ANY couples my age that have been married for so long. It is so hard to find someone I am happy that you found your love.

    P.S. Can you do a post on locks. I have small locks (sisterlock size but there are not sisterlocks). I don’t know how to style my hair. My hair isn’t long but all the styles I see are for long hair.

  34. Hey ‘Bella!!!
    Love the hair and the dress. I hope you won’t get any negative comments about your husband but I’m sure you will. Sweetie, rock your husband just like you rock your beauty. If you find love, who cares what shade it comes in. As long as he’s good to you he gets no prob from me. Now, let him get caught slipping…then it’s a whole ‘nother ball game. LOL And that’s regardless of color. Thanks for sharing, I’m sure it was a difficult decision to make but you two look cute together.

  35. queen useless says:

    Bella – you’ve been missed, as a blogger you’re allowed to keep some parts of your life private.

    Not mad at you though you got a cute guy!!!

    Hope you’re refreshed and rejuvenated!!

  36. I thought you hinted before that your husband was white. So the ‘admission’ didn’t surprise me. It’s nice to see a picture!

    Love is blind. Speaking from someone who has been in a few inter-racial relationships herself, I don’t care what color my man’s skin is as long as he treats me like a queen. My friends like to tease and say that I’m a member of the rainbow collation since I’ve pretty much dated almost every race and ethnicity out there. At the end of the day, I just keep doing me. I’m not in this world to live up to other people’s expectations and I don’t expect them to live up to mines.

    Brush off them haters! Just keep doing your thang Bella. You’re an inspiration!

  37. aww your dad’s post brought tears to my eyes. Daddy’s are awesome! Mom’s too!

    I’ve been a faithful reader for a while now and I love your realness and all of your advice. As a mixed Mexican bella with a crazy adopted story I completely understand why you were a bit hesitant to share like that. I have to say, and this may sound weird(so I do apologize!) that when I saw your pics on another social networking site I was like “she gets it on all levels” and made me love you even more.

    You go!!!

  38. Yay, Bella! I’ve never said this about another blog, but I missed ya! My hubby’s been talking about visiting Vegas, so I’ll have to keep this post in mind.

    And, oh girl, your hubby’s a CUTIE! Who can blame you for falling for him if his personality is like his smile? Thanks for sharing your pics and being brave. Have no fear, k? Love your boo and let the others go ’bout their business. All that matters is whether he’s a good man (and I’m assuming he is!) so BE PROUD!

    If you had said something crazy like “I can’t depend on black men so that’s my reason,” then this would be another discussion. You married your best friend — what more is there to it? :D Your blog is full of love and positive life, and that’s the vibe I get when I see your pictures of you and you family.

    And one last thing: your curls are just POPPIN’ in the first picture. Nice! What did you use?

  39. Ooh! Happy early anniversary, Dad and Mom Bella! Thanks for that post too; seeing a couple with longevity always gives me an extra boost of hope.

  40. Welcome back! Your hair looks great! Great pics!

  41. Glad you had such a great trip! I hated Vegas the first time I visited mainly because it was hotter than I don’t know what, I don’t drink and I don’t gamble but, like you, I knew people who were actually from there so I got off the strip and got to see some of the real city. Their knowledge of the real Vegas saves the city for me. That hot, dry air makes my hair a hot mess though… it sucks the moisture away in two seconds! What did you do to rescue yours?

    As for your husband, you don’t have to explain your marriage to ANYBODY. Just keep on and ignore all the ignorant, racist comments that definitely do come from all sides. My white dad has been married to my black mom for 40 years and both have lost “friends”, and sadly, family, because of their relationship. My dad had relatives disown him. My mom stopped getting invited to certain things by other black women who thought she’d sold out or thought she was trying to act like she was better than them because she was married to a white man. Total ridiculousness and although it’s affected them a lot over the years, they’ve stayed together because their love is genuine and true.

    Anyway, all that to say that it breaks my heart a little that you have to think about whether you’ll lose fans, be seen as less black or even that you have to explain your relationship. You need to keep it rolling like, “My husband’s white. And what???” The love your husband gives to you comes through in the love you give to us via your fab writing, so keep letting it shine!

  42. Hi Bella,
    I totally feel you, my sweetie of a year and half is 14 year younger than me. I’ve heard so many jokes about me robbing the cradle, or it must be for sex only comments that it makes me sick. You’re right love comes when you least expect it and in packages we never intended to be delivered.
    But yall look happy, I’m gonna order that LBD and next time you’re in Chicago, hit me up, my sweetie and I will hang out with you and Steve.

    P.S. Love your hair!

  43. You’re back (so I’ve checked this blog about 5 times this morning thinking, “lucky her”, but who’s counting?!).

    I am sad that you even felt hesitant at all to mention that your husband is white. It doesn’t matter one bit to me (although, full disclosure, my mom’s white, and my dad’s black, so I’m a mixed kid and LOVE interracial couples).

    Bella, I hope when you have children, you’ll do so product reviews on what works for them too. As a mixed kid myself, I wear my hair naturally, and I’m happy that it’s easy to manage, but there are very few products that work well without weight that my hair can’t handle (even light products that work great for women of color often make my hair dull and flat, but products for white women don’t work so great either). I, for one, would love to know what adventures in hair products little bella babies get up to!

    p.s. Steve is cute girl! Don’t be shy.

  44. I agree with MrsYFA too!

  45. ah, your dad’s comment reminded me so much of my own parents and their truly unconditional love.

    bella, your hesitation to share this part of your life is so very understandable. but all of the positivity in the above comments is proof that you get back what you put out there. your energy is reflected in all the support you’re getting, so you cannot allow any negativity to dim your light. you are blessed to have married your best friend, and to have such love and support from your families.

  46. Go’n and “get heavy” if you want to, Girl. It’s your blog. And the husband – HOT! Does he have a brother. No, really, does he have a brother. Send him to my blog!

    Lovely dress. Seems like you have a great time. Party on, Bella!

    ’till next time…

  47. Hello Bella, I read your blog all of the time but have never posted a comment, but I wanted to let you know that you have the best information ever. No matter the subject I know I can come to afrobella and get a good lead to an answer if not the exact answer I need. I too have been to Vegas and it was wonderful. My husband and I had never had sooo much fun, can’t wait to go back. Girl, your hubby is adorable you do you…people are going to talk regardless. Life is too short Enjoy it !!!

  48. knappiheaded1 says:

    Uh, your husband is fine…
    Don’t be hiding all that!

    Glad you had fun in Vegas!

  49. Yay, Bella! I’ve missed you so much; I hadn’t seen any updates in a week so I got kind of worried (silly me; I’m not on twitter so I didn’t know of those updates). Anyway, when I saw the picture of you and your husband, I screamed out “Yay, he’s so cute!” I can understand your hesitation about opening up about your husband and your family. And really, it’s your family so you can share as much as you like.

    I can certainly understand about the interracial relationship; my fiance is not only of a different race but a different nationality and we get crap no matter where we go. Luckily my folks think of him as their son but it’s sometimes tough. We have to think about how lucky we are to find people in our lives who love us unconditionally; when I think about that, I don’t sweat the small stuff. You can think of the readers of your blog as family who love you too so you shouldn’t worry about opening up (should you feel the need to do so). Anyway, welcome back! And, hi Steve!

  50. Bella,
    I’ve been lurking for awhile. Sorry. I love your blog. I’m a life coach and just at the start of blogging. You’re a huge inspiration. I send your URL to any friend who mentions they want to start a blog.

    What compelled me to stop lurking and join the convo is of course your revelation and resolution. It was like a TV season premiere episode! (I’m also a recovering TV addict.) Very compelling writing. I could sense the nervousness and courage and release in your writing.

    It’s strange. I think that who you love has nothing to do with beauty products. But I felt a little deceived. And no need for others to jump on me about it. I realize that feeling deceived is ludicrous. I think it’s because you’ve shared so much of yourself in this blog, that I naively thought I knew you. (That officially makes you a celebrity, by the way.)

    But thankfully, more than that little twinge of deception, I’m more proud of your courage, your willingness to be vulnerable and the drama of it all. (Cause drama is fun.)

    Be well,
    Sheree

  51. Bella, I’m so glad you felt free enough with all of us to share that your hubby is white. Love knows no color. If anyone has a problem with that then they need to just keep stepping. He is really cute, as well. Show him off proudly.

  52. BELLA!!!! I am so glad you are “back”..lol!! I don’t care if your hubby was polka-dotted, your boo is FINE, girl and you know that you just didn’t want the internet crazies to see the fineness you cuddle with at night!!!! Girl, life is too short to be worried about what other people think about YOUR OWN CHOICES. You love him and he loves you, then ya’ll do the darn thing and to hades with what anyone says. As some of my friends say, Speed on, ‘fore you get peed on!! (If he’s got another brother, you can send him to my house!!)

    And DadofBella, aww what a sweet thing to say!! We love your daughter and are proud of her too!!!

    The wedding looks like it was a lot of fun and thank you to your beautiful family for letting it be shared.

  53. You look fabulous and you and your husband are simply gorgeous together! Glad you can be free to share all facets of your life now and that you had such a lovely time in Vegas.

  54. Welcome back, Bella! I love your blog-I usually lurk but had to post today. I met my sweetie in 2000-online. Not only is he younger than me, he’s a Brit! He lived in the UK and I lived in NJ-we met through an entertainment site and just clicked. We met face to face after nearly 12 months of emails, IMs, and phone calls. After 3 years we got engaged and now it’ll be 4 years since our wedding. Thankfully our families and friends were cool. And everyday I’m thankful that I found someone who suits me so perfectly.
    I loved your parents’ post! My mom loved my hubby (she passed 3 years ago) but sadly my dad passed before we met. You and your boo look SO happy and I’m with everyone here-blessings to you both!

  55. “Awww, you guys are the best!!! And I knew the regular family here would be welcoming and wonderful. It’s the others I was thinking about, the folks who love to judge.” -bella

    Then they don’t need to be on here in the first place!

  56. Thanks for sharing this piece of your personal life with us. As a black woman, I actually find your relationship inspiring, because most black women don’t step outside the box when it comes to romantic relationships. You’ve basically prived that a black woman doesn’t have to hold her breath waiting on a black Prince Charming who may or may not ever show up. There are other fish in the sea.

  57. If it makes you feel any better I’m much more irritated by the lack of updates to the blog than I am the fact your husbands white :). Also, did you know y’all have the same smile? It’s really very adorable.

  58. You’re so cute. Honestly, just the sweetest person.

  59. Love is love girl! Dont hide it. Love can conquer all the negativity as you probably already know. Im happy he has agreed to let you show a big part of you life!

  60. Shay in Atlanta says:

    See, if I didn’t look at the slide show, Bella, I would have thought Steve was just light-skinned :) Either way, he’s cute and the two of you look great together! I hope we can see more of him in the future.

  61. Cute pictures – you look fantastic! And I’m jealous – what a fun wedding theme!

  62. First of all, WELCOME BACK!!! I don’t do the Twitter thing, so I was actually beginning to worry a bit. It’s weird how we can become attached to people in “virtual reality world,” but you’re so open, and gracious, and intelligent that it’s hard not to get attached to your posts.

    The fact that you share anyhting about your personal life in a blog is brave. (I am not comfortable in doing so b/c there are so many nutters in the world and I’m a scaredy cat.) It is wonderful that you wanted to share this part of yourself, too.

    However, I can understand your apprehension, b/c people do judge… sad, but true…even those of us who consider ourselves ‘enlightened’ can make assumptions about what we think others should do and how they should live their lives and who they should love. BUT, it is NONE of our Business…and if anyone, says anything to you about it…tell them to go fly a kite!

    You have your match and that is a beautiful thing! Congrats on 6 years of marriage…that is a long time by today’s standards!

    Also, I love your Daddy’s post:) Aw….he’s was looking out for his baby thet way a good father does.

    Keep on living your life girl! You and Steve and your cat (forgot his name, sorry) continue to enjoy yourselves.

    Oh and thanks for mentioning B & Lu. I have a few plus sized friedns and the clothes look cute and reasonbly priced!!!!

  63. Newly Nappy says:

    Hi Steve! Welcome! Bella, I’ve read your blog for awhile now, but am fairly new to posting. But, I just want u to know I think u’re awesum. You will NEVER lose me as a reader. Especially over sum piddly nonsense about who u take home every nite. So freakn what! He’s handsum u’re beautiful y’all love each other, thas enuff. Gud job Dad! I liked his comment, as long as Steve’s good to and for you erythg is gud. Hush H8trs! ;->

  64. I don’t know what’s more beautiful–you, your hair, your dress, your husband, your family, that wedding, or your readers! And welcome to the interracial-and-out club, ‘Bella! I do know what you mean. As a natural-haired black woman whose life work is focused on promoting the work of black people I always wait for that extra beat when I introduce my white woman partner, like I know I’ve done everything “right” to be considered totally “down” until…

    Many folks judge, but the hurt they can inflict is no match for the true love you get from “the one.”

  65. Hillerie Camille says:

    Awwwwwww love sweet luuuuuuuuv! I live in Vegas, I so wish I could have met you. I’ve been lurking on your site for a couple of months. Love It!!!!

  66. Girll please do you. I am glad you had fun in Vagas me and my husband are planning to go this summer for a few days. I’m a Miami native too and I didnt/don’t even think about going to South Beach unitl somebody goes home with me.

  67. westindianladee says:

    You look like you had a blast, you’ve got that kool-aid smile and that glow! I too told all my family and friends what happened in Vegas. I spent my time on the strip though – and it included seeing a couple naughty shows, lol.

    Thanks for sharing a little personal side of you – I appreciate it. And you and your hubby look so great and happy together! I hope to experience that one day :-D

    So my curious mind wants to know where did you guys meet?

  68. westindianladee says:

    So I went to read some of the comments and I just about teared up from your dad’s post….awwwwww!

  69. Love has you lit from within and LET IT SHINE, GIRL!

    Glad to have you back, and with a renewed objective, Bella.

    Tiffany

  70. Love has you lit from within and LET IT SHINE, GIRL!

    Glad to have you back, Bella, and with a renewed, passionate objective.

    Tiffany

  71. Yes, yes we missed u, glad ur back! the wedding looked like so much fun. Bride and groom looked so happy! Loved tha pic of u and tha familia on the couch, hella cute! I peeped ur octopus necklace, it’s sic! Ur post made me cry a happy tear at the end! Luv that black dress too, u looked gorgeous! Glad to hear u had a gret vacay!

  72. warrior11209 says:

    I got teary eyed reading your Dad’s post – he reminds me of my husband.

  73. just read ur dad’s comment and it gave me another happy tear!

  74. I finally got my weekly dose of Afrobella lol

    I do not know why you would care what other people think. You just do you. each to their own is the way I see it. I come from a jamaican family yet many of my friends didnt want me to marry a jamaican man which I did.

    I cannot be ruled by other people’s opinions of me. God did not put us on earth for that

    Hold your head up high and keep blogging
    Loved what your dad wrote in the comments
    cute couple by the way, your hair looks gorgeous

  75. Hey Bella,

    Your husband is a cutie! I understand your angst in not wanting to reveal him. But you know what I say… DO YOU!! You don’t have to answer to haters. F Em! lol

    Honestly, when I was younger I had some illogical opinions on interacial dating (my dad raised me that way unfortunately). And it still irks me when people date outside their race FOR THE WRONG REASONS. (black men treat me bad, or the worst…”so my baby will have good hair” ugh!)

    But there is not enough love in this world! Why limit yourself because of prejudices?? If he is what you have always dreamed of in a mate…More power to you!!! Did I mention he’s a cutie??? lol

  76. I’m a product of an interracial marriage. My parents married in 1961. Talk about having it tough! All I have to say is – love sees no color – period!

  77. Steve is bringing the heat!!! I’m glad you shared. I’ve been married to my college sweetheart–who happens to be white—for 8 years. He is the one who encouraged me to go natural and the ONLY one who supported me when I chopped it all off and had short, nappy hair. We have a gorgeous 5 yr old girl and a set of the cutest 2 year old boy twins. Btw, is Steve a twin? In one of the pics, there is a guy in a light blue shirt that looks really similar?

  78. Jeanne Yursik says:

    This is my first posting to Afrobella although I read it every day. I’m Bella’s Mom-in-law. As all of you can tell, she is the sweetest, craziest, most creative and intelligent girl around and I am certainly glad to have her as part of our family…… not to mention she makes our son one happy fellow. You all are her extended family and I know she was anxious about this post. Thank you all for being so supportive as your comments are so refreshing. And I have to agree with you all that they are one handsome couple indeed! Love, Mom

  79. You love who you love…. and I’m with MsYFA (you just didn’t want us to see that gorgeous man! I’m jonesin’ over your hair! I’m want a hair cut and I’m taking your pic in for inspiration!

  80. I love your site lady. I thought I was gonna go crazy when you weren’t updating. lol. I lurk mostly but after this post I shall comment regularly. Cute couple & family. I come from a multiracial family so I would never make derogartory remarks or exclude someone because of who THEY choose to be with.

  81. Bella,

    I’m a long time lurker, first time poster. I’m not natural so I can’t relate to some of your postings, but I still like the other product reviews and your thoughts on other topics (plus I try to support all things 305/West Indian Massive ;))

    Anyway, I just posted to say that who you’re married to doesn’t make you any less of an afrobella! Keep doing you!

    PS: He’s FINE! And you all make a lovely couple!

  82. So see, not one negative comment out of almost 100! Not to say it won’t happen, but this doesn’t strike me as that type of blog/forum (i.e., full of ig’nant folks)
    I have thought about dating white guys, but I always feel like because I am natural it may be imtimidating to them. I also fear that I don’t have the temperement for all the ignorance. I would straight up pop somebody in the mouth if they came to me acting up, lol.

  83. HEY!!!! the wedding looked cheesy and fun!!! as for your marriage. Whatever and whom ever makes you happy. But your hubby is a cutie!!!! Many more years of happiness to the both of you. hugs and kisses

    a starting over again naturally
    ~kiki

  84. Awww Bella!!! So cute. If you love him…we love him!
    You know that is the girlfriend AND blog family code!!

    In this day and age when marriages are breaking down left and right, I am always happy to see two people loving on each other.

    Smiles and hugs,
    lovely

  85. Oh Bella,be proud of your love. Love makes the world go round.Steve love your hairstyle, too. One of the other bloggers I love to visit is biracial and in a multicultural relationship. No biggie!

    But I’m sorry to hear close family and friendenemies would diss ya!
    I understand the dilemnas; in fact a person I know just wrote a book about Black Asian relationships and is opening up the discussions big time; If interested you can find it here:
    http://blasianexchangesanovel.blogspot.com/

  86. Bella – I’m glad you were able to take a break but I am so glad you are back. Looks like you had a great time and the black dress looked good. You are lucky to have such a nice family. Your mother in law really loves you. Thanks so much for sharing your family with us. I am also in an interracial marriage. My husband and I have been together sicne we were 17, we are now 33. It’s been hard at times but I can not picture myself with anyone else.
    It was a blessing that I discovered your site. You give so many people something to look forward to and we are happy that you are happy. Keep up the good work.

  87. Missed ya Bella!

    Ya’ll are lovely. Anyone who cannot see that needs to seek help.

    My own family is so mixed up we look like a Benneton ad. Our extended family dinners in restaurants draw a lot of looks as people try to figure out who is with who!

    Unfortunately, I know from first hand experience how nasty and ignorant people can be. My first college boyfriend was a gorgeous man – who happened to be white and jewish. I was ostracized and called every name in the book by people I thought were my friends. Whatever. I kept doing me and I believe that I am much happier for it.

    Now, can you recommend some products to brighten gray, curly and extremely short hair?

    One more thing – your dad rocks.

  88. La, I just have to tell you, your hair would probably not be intimidating to white guys. For the most part, they are just like hair is hair, whatever…they weren’t exposed to all the angst about it that black guys were growing up…

    Anyway, bella, I can understand being hesitant, some people do tend to see black people who marry outside their race as less of an authority on blackness — whatever! I think it just adds another dimension to your knowledge and your blog. It’s so sweet that the men in your life were concerned how you would handle people being negative, you are so, so blessed! He seems to be a nice young man (asking for your mom and dad’s blessing!!!), in addition to a cutie. And you already know I love reading your parents’ posts, and now a lovely one from your MIL. I know you don’t take all that love for granted! I hope you and your husband continue to make each other happy.

  89. Wow, I have been reading you for some time and this was a surprise I didn’t see coming, but more power to you for sharing :) And yeah he is a cutie, I woulda kept him all to myself if I were u too LOL :) Lovely!

  90. Afrobella, you rock! I’m so glad you put this out in the open. Your paragraph about love are words to live by! May that love grow stronger every year.

  91. Afrobella, I LOVE that section about love. I have dated men of all races and while people have made comments, I stand by the belief that you can’t help who you fall in love with and by closing yourself off to people because of race, hair color, eye color, whatever- you might be missing the love or your life. You and Steve look so happy together and at the end of the day, that is all that matters.

    On another note, WELCOME BACK! You have been sorely missed.

  92. Aww… I read a lot, but don’t post enough!!! I feel like you are a great role model for us “bella’s in training”, and what you do in your personal life, no matter what you choose to share and what not to, is technically none of our business. I love that you love us enough to share such tidbits with us because it makes us (at least, me), feel like a part of the family, for reals.

    I can only pray to find the love you’ve found in your husband, and with your hubby and family supporting you, who can say anything negative? It’s a beautiful thing!!

  93. You were definitely missed. I hardly ever leave comments, but I do enjoy reading your blog.

    I loved all of your comments about race and while the love of my life is African-American, I have also dated outside of my race too. I understand your reasons for not disclosing everything about your life and that’s your choice. Your husband and you make such a lovely couple and umm, yeah,Steve is fine! Hi Steve!

    I’m glad you found someone who makes you happy, regardless of race. Keep up the love, bella!

  94. I love it! I have to admit laughing out loud in pure solidarity for you, bella. I am really happy you shared that aspect of your life with your readers. I always wondered what your hubby looked like, and now I know why you’ve been hiding him – he’s hot!
    I hope you will inspire other women(like myself) to look outside the mental blocks we put into place and think not just outside the “race box” but outside the box PERIOD(whatever that box is), when it comes to finding love.

  95. As my grandmother used to say “as long as he treats you right, race doesn’t matter.” My family is extemely diverse, and my husband’s family looks more Caucasion than African-American. You and Steve are a lovely couple. I wish the two of you many wonderful years of happiness. The people who can’t see beyond your race…well screw em haha :-)

    Some people are going to find a reason to hate you no matter what. As long as you love yourself and you still have people in your life that love you too, then all the other people are just plain missing out.

    My two teen boys are dating and I really don’t care about the race. I just want them to come home with somebody who has decent grades in school, proper hygiene, manners and common sense, and treats them right.

    I think I may have to take a little trip to Vegas soon especially since it’s getting cold and damp here in WA state. I use my sunscreen year round to keep discoloration at bay because the sun is still out there even if it’s hidden by the clouds. I really love neutrogena skin care products. I think they make some of the best stuff that you don’t have to get from the dermatologist.

    I co-sign with cosmicsistren, Bella please, please, please post some stuff for your dreadlock bellas (mine are a few inches past my shoulders) I’d really appreciate some styling tips, products, accessories, etc.

    Anyway, glad to have you back.

    Lisa

  96. I’m glad that you had such a wonderful time in Las Vegas. And it doesn’t matter who you marry, as long as you’re happy and y’all look like you’re having the time of your life. Your candidness gives me all the more reason to love your blog!

  97. Glad you’re back — we missed you, too! I really enjoyed today’s post (I guess it meant something to me personally, too), and welcome to Steve!

  98. God bless you! You two look very happy and that’s what matters.

  99. You two are BEAUTIFUL human beings individually and as a team. We’re all human, and it just baffles me that we refuse to allow each other to exist as such–how dare somebody else judge you for loving another human being. How dare anyone judge period, but I won’t go into my soapbox on that here… (Your post actually got me a little teary-eyed.) I wish nothing but continued love and happiness for the two of you. All that matters is love–forget what anybody else says or thinks.

    Glad you had a such a good trip! –Looks/sounds like a ton of fun!

  100. I love myself some Vegas. It is a lot of fun there. I mostly go to eat and drink.. LOL

    I like the braver Blogger in you. Go ahead and do what you feel is right. I am happy that you were able to find your best friend and soul mate. If you don’t have a problem don’t worry about what others think. Hey I not one that don’t mixes with races well (experiences I still deal with in the south). I do know there are nice people in all shades of color. My uncles and male cousins all married or married outside their race and had a hard time dealing with the people who couldn’t just let them be happy. So some of them didn’t last long enough. So I applaud you. Again don’t worry about other people…

    *you are making me want to book another trip to Vegas*

  101. Is Vegas crazy? I’ve never been but I’m guessing it is. I know this term isn’t politically correct but what the hell? you’ll know what I mean anyway. Well, I hope you do. Is it just a place where the white trash of America acculmilate to gamble there life’s away and for women to act like complete utter hoare’s getting as much plastic surgery as possible….. or is it o.k. I’d like to know….
    Curious Bex

  102. CoilyFields says:

    Bella, I admire you. I truly do. Not only are you an inspiration to be naturally me but you have gone outside of the norm and challenged societies sense of beauty and acceptance.
    I don’t know if I am the only one to think this but I am really impressed by how brave you are to stand up and embrace the natural you being in an interracial marriage. The european american standard of beauty is pervasive and not everyone is brave enough to do challenge it. I say this from truly investigating myself. I went to a prep school from grade 1 to 12 and there were maybe 3 black people in my class. I can honestly say that I wanted to fit in with the standard of beauty that surrounded me, long straight hair. Even now as I explore natural styles, including a big puffy afro, I wonder if I would have had the gumption to do this in my professional field if i were not at an african american organization.
    the more I read and learn the more proud i become and I admire your acceptance of yourself.

    Marriage is a gift from God and I hope yours is blessed.

    Oh! and kudos to your honey for stepping out of the box too!

  103. “Spoiler alert — True Life: I’m in an interracial marriage.”

    I love that you did this with sincerity and some humor. This day in age – if one is lucky to find love no matter what package it comes in, you need to hang on to it and never let it go.

  104. Thank you so much for revealing this side of your life to us! Your husband is FINE! I could see why you would want to keep that on the DL lololol! Love You Bella!

  105. Hello Bella!

    I stopped by today to drop a line about a completely unrelated matter, and was so pleased to find that you were back after your vacation! Vegas sounds like an amazing time. I have very close friends there, and have been meaning to get there for a little visit for years, but things always come up. I’m inspired to try harder to get there!

    I am also in an interracial marriage. My husband and I got married a little under two months ago, and had been together four years previous. When we started dating, we got some comments about ‘jungle fever’, and his family, in an effort to demonstrate acceptance, found it necessary to point out the differences between our cultures and appearances regularly (notably my hair!). The thing that made this so particularly hard to take is that fact that my husband and I have known each other since we were children. Before we cared about or noticed things like colour or race, we made each other laugh, and shared a passion for music. I was lucky enough that my husband persevered through the years when I was too dense to notice that the perfect man was already in my life (he figured it out when we were about twelve!), and as adults (we’re both in our thirties now) we made the decision to be together.
    I’m sure you already know this, but those negative reactions are only a response to people’s own issues, and has nothing to do with the love between two people. You can see in your pictures how much love there is between the two of you. Imagine missing out on that amazing connection because of something as ultimately unimportant as race! Those people preoccupied with race are missing out on the possibility of wonderful, deep and meaningful relationships of all kinds with the diversity of people who cross our path everyday. It’s too sad.

    The reason I originally stopped by was to thank you for the Creme of Nature! My hair has never felt so good. I have to remind myself after I shampoo that I haven’t already conditioned. My hair feels great!

  106. tracey in Ohio says:

    What a great “love story” (LOL!) Thanks for sharing that and Welcome, Steve! Bella, the way you described your hubby as best friend & soul mate…. no wonder you always have a rosy glow! Continue to glow & grow with your man! Have a great weekend.

  107. DiosaNegra1967 says:

    bella:

    just so you know….i’m givin’ “east coast side-eye action” at your goin’ to vegas! ‘cos I wanted to venture to sin city this summer…but decided moving had to take precedence! LOL

    glad u enjoyed yourself!

    and, on the hubster picture posting/IR marriage tip:

    “be who you are and say what you feel, because those who matter don’t mind and those who mind DON’T matter!”

    - Dr. Theodore Geisel (aka Dr. Seuss – a very wise man, indeed)

    and y’all’s look mighty happy!

  108. DiosaNegra1967 says:

    BTW, i also loved your dad’s commentary!

  109. Hey Bella

    Its been a while, i love your hair in the 1st pic, what do you use to get so many curls. and great post by the way

  110. Welcome back, darlin’! This is a FANTASTIC post. Gotta love love. People can say what they want but it really does make the world go ’round. Let’s keep up on Twitter. I’m cosmicgirlndc over there.

    Keep on keepin’ on,
    Erica
    African-AmericanBrides.com
    http://twitter.com/cosmicgirlndc

  111. I have a white brother in law, an black/asian/native american nephew, an black/italian niece, and some creole twins on the way courtesy of another brother in law. Whenever we are all together, peoples eyes bug out trying to “place” everyone. They will come up & be like “now who belongs to whom?” . The world of race is getting so undefined now. I think it’s beautiful & awesome & eye-opening to be brave like you Bella! I love this blog & have never been to vegas but always wanted to go so I will definitely be booking a trip soon.

  112. I’m so glad you’re back!!!

    I just read through a few of the responses and the one from your father was very touching :)
    Take from someone who has lived her entire life in a melting pot of culture, love…correction, true love does not see color, it has no boundaries. I have 5 sisters and my father always told us to be with the one who makes happy no matter what the color. You and your husband together create the perfect color of love. And because I am lover of poetry, here an excert from one my favorite poems:

    Color of Love
    By Cal Evans

    Morning’s light reveals,
    the angel next to me.
    Lying silent and still,
    fragile yet strong.

    I watch her stir,
    blink her eyes and smile,
    simple acts that take my breath away.
    Before my eyes, she descends,
    from heaven back to earth,
    my companion for another day.

    You see her hair is the shade of all my dreams,
    her voice is a warm embrace.
    Her smile is the beacon that guides me on,
    and her eyes as the color of love.

    –Thanks for sharing this part of your life Afrobella. It doesn’t change anything with me, you still have the BEST Blog!!

    Peace & Love.

  113. WARRIOR11209 says:

    your mother-in-law is the bomb-diggity!!

  114. ROTFLMAO @ the powder blue suit and ruffle shirt!!!! Where did he find that suit? Let me guess it was the same suit that his dad married his mom in!!!! I can’t stop laughing.

    Anyhoo, I’m sure glad that you’re back. The first thing I do when I log onto the computer is check CNN to ensure the world is safe then your site in hopes of reading a great product review.

    I thought you mentioned once before that you were in a interracial relationship. I do understand and respect your reasons for wanting to protect what is most sacred to you.

    I rarely ever discuss my family with people either. Because there is always someone out there who wants to judge or hate on you. And what my husband and I have is precious and I just don’t want to let anyone in. I didn’t even tell many people when I was pregnant because I wanted that nine months to be something special just for my husband and I. I didn’t want anyone coming into our little world.

  115. ChocolateOrchid says:

    I know you needed a vacation but I am so glad you’re back. I was missing your blog!
    Anyhoo, I’m happy that you had a wonderful time and I’m happy that you’ve decided to post a picture of your hubby. (Who, by the way, is a cutie!) You two are cute! And I’m happy that you have your soulmate and have love in your life regardless of all the superficial stuff that’s so irrelavant to happiness. I’m happy you’ve found love!
    Thanks for sharing, Bella!
    Much Love….

  116. 5 million responses later I STILL wanna add my support and say you’re husband is FINE!

    definitely looking like a keeper and i’m super happy you put your brave face on and decided to let us in. mek mi feel like mi a part a u fambily! hehe

  117. Bella, I am new to the site and just wanted to let you know how much I have enjoyed reading. Don’t let others affect u with their ignorance. My grandmother always said that misery luvs company, and letting them get to u, u just invited urself to the party! Continue to be u and provide all the other bellas in the world inspiration!

  118. cleopatra92515 says:

    I am so happy you have shared your ‘ramblings.’ Thank you for sharing your story. I love your blog and I want to welcome Steve on board. I don’t mind seeing a little Baby Bella soon either (:

    Live your life girl. As we say in Jamaica: “No watch no face.”

  119. WELCOME BACK!!! Welcome Steve! Thanks, as always, for sharing. One of the many reasons I absolutely adore this blog (and by extension someone I don’t know and may never meet) is because of your big heart. Don’t get me wrong, you give some fabulous recommendations, great reviews and interesting interviews, but this blog is about so much more. You’ve created quite a little community here, and I’m a proud part of your following.

  120. Hey, Bella!

    I also remember you mentioning in an earlier post that you were in an interracial relationship and ever since then I have been dying to see your hubby. And I must admit, I am a little surprised. I was not expecting him to be soooooo cute! You two look great together and I wish you all the happiness in the world.

    I hate when people act like an interracial relationship is so out of the norm. People have been mixing it up before the concept of race existed! And as long as people are happy and aren’t in it for the wrong reasons I say more power to you.

    Bella, I think that you are truly an inspiration to Black women everywhere. We get so caught up in what we think that we are supposed to look like, supposed to act like, and whom we are supposed to love that we forget to live.

    Keep doing you Bella because you inspire me to keep being me.

  121. Thank God you are back. LOL You were truly missed.

    Okay, your father brought me to TEARS. *sniff* You and your husband make a lovely couple. The fact that you were friends first and then fell in love…wonderful. I wish you many more wonderful years with your husband…who by the way has an amazing smile. :D

  122. Arianna Shannon says:

    Girl please do not let any triffling IGNANT (yes purposely misspelled) people steal your Joy. At the end of the day you have made a covenant between your partner and God. I dont see anybody else in that equation so let the miserable ones be miserable and you stay focused on what truly matters: building a life together that will by its very existence improve our world…as we say back home.. “chile tell dem fool fool people fi gweh from u seen?!”
    Tell dem A GOD RUN TINGS! heehee love your site and so so missed your postings and postive presence! Much love and happiness to you and Steve !

  123. Trini4christ says:

    Hi Bella,
    I absolutely loved your post! I’ve never been a fan of Vegas because I just wasn’t interested in the strip and partying, but your pictures made me want to actually visit. Also, I am currently in an interracial relationship and at times it has been hard because we get so many ugly stares being in central PA. You would think by this point people would be more open-minded. But regardless, we love each other and continue to support each other. So thank you for your story because it certainly encouraged me.

  124. Patrick Jnr says:

    Lil Sis…Bella!

    At the risk of sounding like a broken record, you know I have to say how proud you continue to make me! Liek Dad I was aprehensive for you, not so much for what you revealed but as to how much! You have to be so careful in this crazy world these days!

    I am so happy that you are surrounded by love and get so much love from your readers, and that’s because you are true, honest and loving yourself!

    Welcome back, I’ve missed you like your readers!

    ps…what you need to do now is write about your handsome and cool brothers! Hah hah!

  125. This was such a great post, very entertaining. The pics spoke of a good time.

  126. Bella, I stumbled across your blog when you had one post up. I’ve been a faithful reader ever since. I’ve only commented one or two times — but I read your blog everyday and is it weird that I have the strongest desire to meet you and give you a hug and thank you for being such a wonderful, intelligent and beautiful woman. I am of Colombian and German heritage, so most of the hair tips you give on this blog might not work for me (some do tho!), but I love everything else you write about. Your makeup tips are great and I really do love when you get political… even if it might get a little heated up in here hahaha Anyways, I just wanted to write to let you know that your husband is very cute and you guys are so BEAUTIFUL together! Who the hell cares about the haters, Bella? How can anyone possibly hate on two people in love and so happy? If they do, they’re certainly not worth anyone’s time.

    The wedding looked so much fun!!!! I love it! Yo, I’m so out to Vegas for my 21st in February!

  127. What a cutie! No, really. He’s cute. VERY.

  128. You two look great together. I’m glad you had a good time. I recently discovered your blog. I love it. It’s amazing. I definitely plan to keep checking it out. Have a great weekend!

  129. Hi Bella! I’m glad you’re back and that you had a safe trip! Looks like you really had fun. Like the others I was having Afrobella post cravings and was going into withdrawal :) And your husband is a cutie, you two make a beautiful couple! I enjoyed and was inspired by what you wrote, and totally agree…True love conquers all!

  130. girl, love is love! peace and blessings to you and yours.

  131. I’m late on this, but when I clicked and saw your adorbs photo my reaction was thus:
    “Gasp! Awwwww!” <3 Love is love, and you can see that in the picture, and read it in your writing. Thank you for continuing to share!

  132. Hi Bella

    I’ve been reading your blog and it is very informative and you and steve really make a drop dead georgoeus couple and very proud of all that you have accomplished.

    Glad that you enjoyed the wedding. Did you do any gambling?

    Will call you weekend. Love & kisses Aunt Opal

  133. Congrats on your new marriage!!

    I was in a wedding this past weekend… Love is in the air!! It’s a beautiful thing when two people decide to become one regardless of race. What makes your blog the best is that you are personable with your readers and you feel like our best girlfriend. I wish you the best for your marriage and in life.

    Darshall

    P.S. Let us know if any afrobellitas are in the near future.

  134. Wow. I have been reading your blog for about 3 or 4 months now and have tried some of the hair products you suggested on my natural hair. I am in my 40′s so I was raised in a time when white people where not be trusted. I just assumed that you were with a black man. Old heads like myself need to wake up, I would love to find my soulmate. I may have missed him because I have never dated a white man because of my narrow-minded views.
    Keep up the good work.

  135. echoparkgal says:

    Bella, it is clear from all the posts today that those who love you and support your craft totally outweigh the few negative nellies out there (including some inner voices maybe? hmmm??). I check in to read and hear your voice, to learn from you and to relate with you because I see myself in your posts. You touch us all. Your interesting and diverse life (as you share it)only builds and reinforces the character and strength of the woman behind the words. Sure, initially I clicked here because I am constantly seek hair solutions – who doesn’t? But I come back here weekly because of the sense of community I feel the moment I open the page. I love how open and inclusive the posts have been this past season(i.e., twitter invite, transgendered young man, marital hair issues, etc..) and touched upon the reality of individuals as they seek to find and claim their own sense of beauty in this world. Thank you for providing a forum for our questions and answers and responses. In return, I hope you feel free to continue to be as honest and open as you have been in the past and as you were yesterday.

  136. HappyToBeNappy says:

    your hubby is a cutie. and you too look amazingly happy together. love isn’t about race – it’s about love!

  137. oh it was a 70s wedding?! How fun! you all look wonderful!

  138. Beautiful! Your husband, your blog, Dad and Mom’s comments, your readers comments, the wedding….and you! All of it is just beautiful and makes me smile

  139. Toot in Show-me State says:

    Wonderful Bella,
    I have truly enjoyed your in-laws and your trip to Vegas.The pictures were great. The couple did there wedding in a 70′s theme for a reason.The 70′s were a free to love and fun time.I was able to see that on the pictures.You have a wonderful (in-law)family.
    I grew up with a family that was very diverse.
    I say to you that if your happy and feel alot of love from him and his family. That is all that matters.You can’t stop Haters from hating.
    9 times out of 10 there not happy with there self and life. I was able to see alot of LOVE coming off of those pictures and alot of tips on fashion and beauty..
    Keep that smile on your face and just LOVE..
    Peace!!!!Bella

  140. Your husband looks like Vin Diesel with the shades on! FINE HONEY!!!! LOL!

    Glad you had a great time. Isn’t Vegas the best? Damm this economy…I need a need a trip!

    Take Care!

  141. Wecome back Bella! You and your hubby are adorable! :)

  142. Bella/Patrice,

    How blessed are we that you decided to share that part of your life with us! I never thought your hubby was black, but it was irrelevant, since your love for him was a vibrant thing. What I’ve always felt connected to is your beautiful and inspiring spirit. Thank you for continuously helping me see beauty in my days. I wish you and Steve nothing but love, laughter, toasts and forever

    Peace!

  143. Bella, your husband would have had to be a goat for me to take offense and stop reading this blog. I’m not going to add to all the “He’s cute!” comments b/c I’m sure Steve’s having enough trouble fitting his head through doorways, but you two make a beautiful couple and he’s lucky to have snagged such a bella afrobella as you.
    Remain blessed,
    ~H

  144. Thanks for sharing Bella. You and your husband make one cute couple.

    I wish you both much love and happiness!!!

  145. Okay, I’m totally late on this, but I’m glad you’re back and that you had a great time in Vegas!

    And yeah, I too seem to recall your mentioning your being in an IR. I agree with whoever said upthread that you were just HIDING his cutie-pie self from us! lol

    Girl, look: Life is too short, the world is too big, and true love is RARE. I know you’re younger than me but I don’t remember if you’re in your 20s or 30s (sorry!).

    Here’s my point, though: The biggest miracle to happen to me in my 40s is realizing that 98% of what I thought was my sh** ain’t my sh**. I’m still looking for the kind of love you’ve already found and if I’m lucky enough to find it the world can just KMMFA. Some people call this decade the “eff-you forties”…that is SO where I’m at right now, I need to get me a KMMFA T-shirt!

    I can’t help but think that you have some of this attitude already because you wouldn’t have stuck this blogging thing out if you didn’t have it. SO many people enjoy what you share and it would be a crime to allow a few ig’nant MFers to shut you down in ANY aspect…writing, loving, living, whatever. You are an inspiration to many…don’t you ever forget it!

  146. You are happy. That is all that matters!

  147. thx steve for sharing your wife with us.

  148. I’m a happy and in love “afrobella” in a interracial relationship and who so ever dares to have an issue with two people being in love (black/white) has an issue with God (don’t make me start preaching lol) because he doesn’t see color/race. Shame, shame them! You two are a delight to see together! Don’t let anyone take away that glow by words or opinion…in the end no one really matters but you two! Love you Patrice! You just keep enlighting us on how to keep our natural doo’s looking pretty and ignore that negative energy =)! Remember it can’t live unless you feed it. By the way GREAT PICS!!! Looks like you all had a BLAST!!

  149. Girl, as long as the man you love is treating you right then you answer to no one about your relationship. Though I’m not in an interracial relationship right now, i’ve dated outside my race before (white guys) and have experienced some of the same prejudice you’ve spoken of. In some cases, I still have certain people making little comments about my supposed “love of whitey” and how I should be “ashamed of myself as a sista” (blah blah blah) even though I’m no longer dating said men–but simply because I still see nothing wrong with it. Ugh. Keep your head up, I know how ignorant people can be. Love isn’t easy to find so when you got it, hold on to it, especially if he loved you enough to ask for your hand in marriage. That’s huge! Not too many men are willing to commit like that these days so I’m happy for you. =0)

    http://www.GangstarrGirl.com

  150. yours truly says:

    i am normally a quiet lurker but i started getting into a lot of your old and new posts this year and i enjoy your website. you and your husband make such a beautiful couple. just reading about how protective he was of you before you made this post is admirable and quite frankly, to see love like that of any colour is inspiring.

    great pics btw. this post has me in the mood to hit vegas one day.

  151. You love lovely and more importantly happy. Love is hard to find it in any color so hold on that cutie you got.
    One time for super expensive internet, I just came back from a cruise and the Euro is high and our dollar well is not. I payed the piper anyway and one my story about Mykonos was picked up by Reuters.com Yippee. Glad you are back.

    alicia
    http://todaystyle.today.com/

  152. Hey Pretty Girl, Bella!

    We love Daddies and what a strong one you have! He is so inspirational. I love the post that he made.

    I was not shocked in the least at your revelation, I knew! I am so glad that you have come into your own & decided to be the complete you in cyberspace.

    Husbands are a blessing! Happy marriages are a blessing! An I am sure that many a ‘bella’ would appreciate having one! You seem truly happy in your marriage, Kudos!

    Personally, I like to read that others are enjoying life and have a fulfilling family life, there is too much unhappiness that is promoted. Now I am rambling but I just want to say great blog and feel free to share the GREAT stuff. I can always overdose on POSITIVE!

    E-hug!
    Mara

  153. Glad ya’ll had a wonderful time & made it back safely! I haven’t travel out west yet, but Las Vegas is one of the must see destinations. As usual Miss Bella you looking gorgeous and happy. Happiness should always be celebrated & shared with those those around you who are positive, loving and uplifting. :o)

  154. I ‘m originally from Atlantic City, so I know all about living in a city that glitters and what it’s like behind the scenes. I was a cocktail waitress in all that costumey get up back in the day. Anyway, I want to get to Vegas for my 40th, next year, hey but your town is not a bad place to party either. You looked great all dolled up.

  155. Tell daddy that if your viewers don’t appreciate your love, then who needs them.

  156. What is weird is that somehow from your blog I already knew that you had an interracial marriage. I can’t quite remember what gave me that impression. Anyway you two make a lovely couple.

  157. civilrightstoday1 says:

    I haven’t made a comment in some time now. So here goes….

    I think it’s absolutely beautiful the relationship you two have. I say even in the mist of your storms, please stick together. No mater what. If there are problems, work it out. Remember why you both decided to get married. Stay faithful to each other in all that you do. Let no man no matter what race or religion enter your world and break it apart. So many people, no matter what race are so quick to say I love you and get married without ever knowing what that means. We live in an instant society that is selfish and wants it now or does things out of condition “gets” meaning, “I do for you, if you do for me.” “My sister” and I say this in spirit, hold true to your love and soul. If you love this man, then honey love him with all of your heart. And I say this not just for you but for all of my Bella’s on the internet. Stop limiting your selves based on race, color, or physical appearances or some invisible loyalty to your race. Trust me it fades, and at the end of the day what will you have left?
    I pray that those who are looking, hoping, praying and waiting on a suitable mate to come into there lives be blessed with one no matter what race, color or creed they are. It’s about love and communication at the end of the day.
    By the way he is handsome! (…does he have a brother, cousin, uncle, good friend?) LOL

  158. You, go, gurl! What a lovely couple you and your husband are!

  159. If he is a friend to your heart, mind, body and soul it really doesn’t matter the packaging! You will always have a fan in PDX.

  160. Hey Bella! What a beautiful post about your hubby. You guys make such a cute couple. I’m glad you are both open to sharing this aspect of your lives. Kudos to you! Its such a blessing to marry your best friend. Oh and he’s a hottie if you don’t mind me saying so! Ha ha! :-) Take care.

  161. Y’know, I can’t for the life of me remember mentioning I was in an interracial relationship… if I did, MY BAD because Steve definitely asked me not to, and we had a big ol’ “serious talk” before I posted this. Thank you all so much for your love and kindness. Steve IS having a hard time getting his head through the door, LOL!

  162. notjustfoxybrown says:

    Get you some love, Bella! That’s all that matters. I’ve long ago stopped limiting myself in my quest for Mr. Right. If he loves me, he loves me. And that’s all. It’s 2008. It’s time!

  163. Well Bella! Im am biracial and I am soooo glad there are people in the world who see past color. I am so blessed that I have an African American family and Italian family. I have learned sooo much from both heritages and I feel like it is awesome when people are a mixture of cultures because then hey we become our own culture! How fun are people who come from mixed backgrounds. i mean we are given so many different influences!

    Rock On?

    secretserenity.com

  164. Aww Steve’s a cutie and your hair looks fab as always. I read your blog almost daily and have done so for the past year, i just hardly post (my apologies). I see so much of myself in you even though I’m only 20 years old. We even look alike, lol. I’m just sending you well-wishes and positive vibes- don’t let anything or anyone make you feel bad about the best decision you’ve ever mad for yourself. True love is a blessing and I hope to find my soul mate someday as well.

    Oh! I’m having major moisture issues with my tresses. Everyday I wake up to brittle, dry hair and it’s beginning to really annoy me. Could it be because I don’t moisturize before bed? or cover it before I hit the sheets? I have every Miss Jessie’s product (my fave is the Curly Buttercreme) but even that fails to keep my hair moisturized. My hair dries out during the day; I have yet to find a regimen that leaves my hair feeling soft and light how I like it for the whole day. PLEASE HELP! :(

  165. You guys are so cute together! Be proud ! .. Please it does not matter if you were with a black man anyway … folks ALWAYS find something to say!
    I get flack for dating my man .. and we are in the same race LOL

    Be Free !
    Love your blog Bella

  166. Ms.Hollywood says:

    you guys are amazing have a wonderful life together love is all that matters and it seems like you guys have a lot for each other

    congrats

    never let anyone tell you any different enjoy life make no apologies and most of all have fun you only have one life and don’t let anyone tell you you can’t do what you want with your life!!!

  167. You know, I never understood the hang-ups about inter-racial couples, being a happy and confused mixed child myself. I remember thinking how beautiful you guys were together when we met. Rock on, chica. Rock on.

  168. Hi Bella and her beloved fans:

    I’m Yea, and I love “love” and some good products. Since your topic went to the point about interracial relationship, and you are in one, can you give your opinion on the following?

    (1) Why does the trend in these types of relationships seem to mean interracial= black and white couples. Why don’t we hear about Afro and Asians, you know people of color of one culture with people of color from another culture. We see more Barack Obama mixes than say Tiger Woods mixes.

    Like you, I immigrated here, but from West Africa. I find this trend of people of color, primarily having relationships with Whites thing to be very fascinating. Maybe it’s the sociology major in me.

    I’m sure you can only speak for yourself, but there’s a LOT of black women (and even more black men) like you who just happened to fall in love with a White person. This is not to hate on your relationship or undermine your Afrobella-ness.

    You seem very open and opinionated. Just curious to know your thoughts.

  169. Hi Bella(waving), I am late on everything these last couple of days. First, thanks for the updates…there always great. You are such a sharing and caring person, that’s one reason I keep coming back. Ok, Steve…..Bella really is a cool chic and I know you must be 1 cool dude(smile)…..WeLcOmE To ThE FAMILY!!Love,comes in all shades and hues….

  170. LeleBelle says:

    Hi Bella,

    So I’ve read you blog for two years now and I’m a serious fan (you even get streamed to the CrackBerry!) but I’ve never really felt I could add much to your comments so I haven’t but this post struck a real nerve with me.

    1st off I think your Steve is a major hottie! Lol.

    But this post really moved me because as a truly southern bella (I was born, raised and still live in Texas), I can understand your hesitation about disclosing your relationship. But it kinda made me giddy because my current boyfriend is white and Lord knows that can be rough so I applaud your bravery.

    But I guess I was wondering how you gus deal with the stress from other people. Mostly I dont care what anybody thinks about Steve (lol my Steve!)and me, but some days I get tired of the stares and the nonsense and I really do lose my cool. So since I’m a baby bella I thought you may have some good advice. Thanks!

    PS…I tried the coconut oil for skin tip and it broke me out but its GREAT for cooking.

  171. im glad u posted this, but really you shouldnt be worried about negative comments, we love ya! ofcourse we missed you.

    i dont beleive in the idea of race, its an arbitrary term used to justify differential treatment (servitutde).

    my fiance has the gost gene too!(hes shockingly white)lol! we’ve been together for more than 4 yrs.were very different in appearance but love a lot of the same things. he’s thinkin about gettin locs too. he’ll even read some of your posts when mention them. he thinks highly of your blog.

  172. Dear Ms. Bella,
    Thank you for being courageous! My daughter’s boyfriend is white and this has been a serious opportunity for my husband and I to seriously practice the principles that we’ve preached to her for 26 yrs. Liberation and walking fully in Gods grace is the “goal” for humanity.

    Yes lil sis yes!

  173. Wow! The outpouring of love and support on your blog is amazing. I can’t even read all of these comments. LOL
    I never gave much thought to your husband, like it never dawned on me to say “oh bella’s hubby must look like _________”. I just could tell you were happy and at the end of the day isn’t that all that matters. But honestly whenever you post a pic, you radiate happiness and now we see why! ;)

    Continue to live, love and write. Your true fans (like me) will be here no matter what!!!!

  174. Your Steve is a hottie, if I may say so myself.Don’t let those haters get you down. My husband and I live in one of the most racist cities in Oklahoma and we get it even more so because he is Hispanic and Im black. But we just hold our head up high. Let your love for eachother shine and shake them haters off!!

  175. muslimahlocs says:

    what interracial relationship? girl, please he is a cutie and could pass for a brother anyday (lol). seriously, congratulations of finding and keeping love.

  176. Love the fact that your in-laws got you off the Las Vegas Strip to check out some of the other cool little fun things about Las Vegas.

    Green Valley Ranch is a true hidden (from most tourists) gem and a best kept secret among many well-heeled visitors who want to fly in and gamble, hit the pool, and spa but don’t want the stress and strain of staying on The Strip.

    Dinos is a cool “only in Vegas” bar that is the perfect little hideaway even though you are only minutes from all the action.

    Peppermill is “old Vegas” if there ever was such a place. You can almost feel the Rat Pack sitting at the next table.

    Also, with so many people from all countries, races, and walks of life visiting, Las Vegas really is color-blind toward visitors (which is nice).

    Enjoyed the post!

    Ted Newkirk
    Managing Editor
    http://www.accessvegas.com

  177. Azuramiel says:

    He’s cute! That’s a great picture. I believe there is someone for everyone, whether they be of your race, size or religion. If your going down the same path, what difference does it make!

  178. Love this post (yeah, I’m on the late freight but I just saw your tweet.) Your husband is very handsome and you two look deliciously happy. I just want to see happy people – size, shapes, colors only relevant when shopping for the proper fitting gift. I have a number of friends married to Caucasian and Spanish men – very happily so. Love is hard to locate these days, believe me. So finders keepers. Great post – keep ‘em coming.

  179. onewayknown says:

    Girllllll I would have shown the world my hubby….no disrespect but he is a cutie…I would have shown the world my boy toy and stated I’ve got papers on him too:) You two look very happy and awesome together. Bump what the world is thinking….just because you happen to be married to a lighter skin human being…doesn’t change your perspectives on being a brown human being:)

  180. Ignore the haters and live your life. you guys make a great looking couple and all that matters is that you are happy together, so screw the rest

  181. The blog is inspiring in part because you come from a place of love. Be blessed.

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