• Skip to primary navigation
  • Skip to content
  • Skip to primary sidebar
  • Skip to footer

Afrobella

Natural Hair, Beauty, Fashion and Makeup Blog

  • Hair
  • Beauty
    • Makeup
  • Reviews
  • Pop Culture
  • Style
  • About
    • Awards and Acclaim
    • FAQs
  • Contact
  • Privacy Policy

Like India Arie said…

by afrobella

When I was three years old, my hair grew down to my back in a thick curtain of curls. At that time, I lived in an old fashioned house in a neighborhood in Trinidad called Belmont. One day, these older girls plaited my hair into the iron chains of a swing and ran away, leaving me crying and screaming for someone to free me. My mother had to cut my hair out of the swing, and my long hair was chopped into an afro. At least that’s how I remember it. My mom says they cut off my hair when I was two, and I wore it in thick shoulder length plaits when I was three. The neighborhood mean girls did braid my hair into the swing, and my parents did have to cut my hair off. Either way, the very beginnings of my hair history were stressful. It always seemed unmanageable. It always had to be “dealt with.” I hated it.

As my hair grew thicker and coarser and curlier, I gave my family hell to comb it. When I was six, my mom took me to get my hair relaxed. She says that it was after an unbearable series of tantrums, and a lot of people were annoyed with her for straightening my hair so early. I understand in retrospect, but I always yearned for crazy, thick, cascading curls. I wanted to be Miss Diana Ross.

Instead, I had straight hair and bangs, and I had to get it set with rollers by my aunts every weekend.

I started experimenting with dye as a teenager, highlighting my hair blonde, then red, then orange. In my torrid and controversial romance with dye, I went through almost the entire color spectrum, starting with golden yellow and eventually ending with a terrible, misguided thud at midnight blue. My hair was fried. It looked beaten and hideous, and as a consequence of the chemical damage, it started breaking. I hacked it off, took a menopause cut, as my friend Richard said. I faithfully straightened my hair until 2002. I cut my hair ultra short for my wedding, and after that, I went all natural. Now, I can’t imagine myself with chemically straightened hair.

Don’t get me wrong, ladies. My hair philosophy is, do your do. What’s right for you isn’t necessarily right for me. All I know is, the prospect of having to go to the hairdresser/pusher man for more burning, stinky white stuff to spread on my scalp with the intention of reversing my hair’s natural desire is less than tempting. I’m a grown woman now, and I can’t foresee it happening ever again in my future. I want my hair to be as long, strong, and beautiful as it wants to be, an extension of myself. Afrobella is dedicated to all of the women who have made a similar decision, to embrace and enhance their natural beauty. Let’s show the world what we’re working with.

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...

Filed Under: Hair, Issues Tagged With: Becoming AfroBella, i am not my hair, india arie, india arie i am not my hair, natural hair

Josephine Baker, beauty eternal »

Reader Interactions

Comments

  1. SerenityOnStyle

    at

    I am really feeling this post. I am napptural, too, and have been for a while, 5 or 6 years now. I love my natural hair and could never even think of going back to the creamy crack (relaxer)! Keep rocking the natural, sis!

  2. Peggy

    at

    Your face is beautiful enough that you can go with uncombed hair!

  3. bella

    at

    awwww, thanks Mom.
    =)
    Love you!

  4. deirdra

    at

    All right, let’s see ’em! We want you to post those pictures of bella with blue hair! In fact, why don’t you give us the whole era-by-era timeline, with photos? That would be rad! Hate to think of you feeling insecure; you look so sunny and warm and stylish all the time and exude a beautiful, natural charm, and everyone who meets you says so.

  5. Kafi

    at

    Grell this is lovely. Keep up the good work doll. love always, KAFI

  6. fivemore

    at

    Who has not experienced the dreaded hair issue?I think this hair problem is torture on black girl’s psyche.I am a grown woman, who still get a little emotional, thinking about my memories of hair torture.Love your blog!Now,if I could just get some of my people off that stuff(perm).It is a hard habit to break.

  7. bronxafrochick

    at

    Ms. bella, I was greatly refreshed at your post about natural hair-as a child I had broadly vivid and imaginative memories of always being put down or socially ostracized because I was one of or the only black girl in site who hadn’t fallen victim to the perm fromula and to many people for a black girl to not “look” like a black girl was weird and intimidating as I later in retrospect looked at the situation.Now as a women I feel blessed to have had a mother who nutured me and embraced my naturally beautiful hair and features and I don’t think i would ever want it any other way for myself or my children. Your post made me even more proud and special to be blessed with this brown skin,thick lips and coarsly curly hair that I sport in a afro everyday.keep it up girl. 🙂

  8. Coffy

    at

    i think if more of us knew how versatile our natural hair is and can be maybe we would be more open to going natural. i am able to to do so many different styles working from a natural base. and on occasion i use my ceramic hair iron for a change up.

  9. Silverware

    at

    Good observation, your ideas are right on.

  10. orginal diamonds sales

    at

    ok i agree … good luck with your blog

  11. Rebekah

    at

    Preach it, sister! I have been cutting my hair into a bald fade since 1994. From birth, I have been teased about the so-called nappiness of my hair and as I grew older, the teasing got worse. It got to the point where I could no longer tolerate sitting in a beauty shop for 4-6 hours under a hot as hell hair dryer just to come out with hair that is too stiff and cute to sleep on and to let a man run his fingers through it because I have no blasted skills to put it back together the way the magician, I mean beautician did. Go on, girl!

  12. V.E.G.

    at

    Ya know, I’ve been natural for 18 years now.
    And, in some respects I’m kinda of tired of it.
    Not of ‘it’ but of the constant dialogue about my hair:

    Sample questions I get:

    Do you have a professional job? (from girls who are either considering going natural and are afraid it won’t be ‘accepted’ at work). Answer: yes.

    Do men like it? (from same group of girls mentioned above). I’ve never had trouble meeting men. There’s the answer to that!

    How long did you transition? What products do you use? How long have you been natural? (from newbie naturals). I didn’t transition. I use whatever; nothing special. Drugstore stuff. It’s been a long time.

    Can I touch it? (from random folks on the street). Ummm…No.

    I just wish it didn’t have to become such a thing! Honestly, it’s hair. And it doesn’t warrant a barrage of questions.

    I won’t even go into the questions/reactions I get when I get it straightened.

    I really long for a day when how we wear our hair doesn’t have to be the catalyst for a huge discussion.

  13. V.E.G.

    at

    Oh, yeah.
    Diana Ross is my goddess…I pay tribute to her at least thrice weekly.
    The outfit she’s rocking in the pic you posted? I’ll be rocking it too. Watch me.

  14. seritasunflower

    at

    Love your post! I did the BC in December, 09. I’m loving my natural hair state and becoming a product junkie! LOL

  15. pocket knifes

    at

    Es conforme, este pensamiento magn??fico tiene que justamente a prop??sito

  16. jobs in graphic design

    at

    I definitely understand everything you have mentioned. Actually, I browsed through your several other posts and I do think you’re totally correct. Congrats with this blog.

  17. filipino brides

    at

    To be a bit clearer, marriages (in USA, according to CDC) brides below the age of 20 are much more likely to be divorced than those over 20, and those under 18 most likely of all. Interestingly enough, the sample wasn’t very skewed there were only twice as many women 18-19 than women under 18. The CDC study didn’t correlate men’s age at all. No idea why.

  18. jmax

    at

    I’m sure that is all her natural hair, and she was a pioneer in wearing it. But I do believe she started out with a weave, and you could tell it. Just being honest.

Primary Sidebar


Visit Afrobella Store

Popular Posts

  • January 2025
  • December 2024
  • November 2024
  • October 2024
  • May 2024
  • October 2023
  • September 2023
  • August 2023
  • July 2023
  • May 2023
  • April 2023
  • March 2023
  • November 2022
  • September 2022
  • June 2022
  • September 2021
  • August 2021
  • June 2021
  • May 2021
  • January 2021
  • December 2020
  • October 2020
  • September 2020
  • April 2020
  • March 2020
  • February 2020
  • January 2020
  • December 2019
  • November 2019
  • October 2019
  • September 2019
  • August 2019
  • July 2019
  • June 2019
  • May 2019
  • April 2019
  • February 2019
  • January 2019
  • November 2018
  • October 2018
  • September 2018
  • August 2018
  • July 2018
  • June 2018
  • May 2018
  • April 2018
  • March 2018
  • February 2018
  • January 2018
  • December 2017
  • November 2017
  • October 2017
  • August 2017
  • July 2017
  • June 2017
  • April 2017
  • March 2017
  • February 2017
  • January 2017
  • December 2016
  • November 2016
  • October 2016
  • September 2016
  • August 2016
  • July 2016
  • June 2016
  • May 2016
  • April 2016
  • March 2016
  • February 2016
  • January 2016
  • December 2015
  • November 2015
  • October 2015
  • September 2015
  • August 2015
  • July 2015
  • June 2015
  • May 2015
  • April 2015
  • March 2015
  • February 2015
  • January 2015
  • December 2014
  • November 2014
  • October 2014
  • September 2014
  • August 2014
  • July 2014
  • June 2014
  • May 2014
  • April 2014
  • March 2014
  • February 2014
  • January 2014
  • December 2013
  • November 2013
  • October 2013
  • September 2013
  • August 2013
  • July 2013
  • June 2013
  • May 2013
  • April 2013
  • March 2013
  • February 2013
  • January 2013
  • December 2012
  • November 2012
  • October 2012
  • September 2012
  • August 2012
  • July 2012
  • June 2012
  • May 2012
  • April 2012
  • March 2012
  • February 2012
  • January 2012
  • December 2011
  • November 2011
  • October 2011
  • September 2011
  • August 2011
  • July 2011
  • June 2011
  • May 2011
  • April 2011
  • March 2011
  • February 2011
  • January 2011
  • December 2010
  • November 2010
  • October 2010
  • September 2010
  • August 2010
  • July 2010
  • June 2010
  • May 2010
  • April 2010
  • March 2010
  • February 2010
  • January 2010
  • December 2009
  • November 2009
  • October 2009
  • September 2009
  • August 2009
  • July 2009
  • June 2009
  • May 2009
  • April 2009
  • March 2009
  • February 2009
  • January 2009
  • December 2008
  • November 2008
  • October 2008
  • September 2008
  • August 2008
  • July 2008
  • June 2008
  • May 2008
  • April 2008
  • March 2008
  • February 2008
  • January 2008
  • December 2007
  • November 2007
  • October 2007
  • September 2007
  • August 2007
  • July 2007
  • June 2007
  • May 2007
  • April 2007
  • March 2007
  • February 2007
  • January 2007
  • December 2006
  • November 2006
  • October 2006
  • September 2006
  • August 2006

Footer

  • Afrobella Radio
  • Ask Afrobella
  • Beauty
  • Body
  • Books
  • Events
  • Featured
  • Food
  • Hair
  • Health and Wellness
  • Issues
  • Jams
  • Life
  • Makeup
  • Monday Manicure
  • Pop Culture
  • Popular
  • Randomness
  • Reviews
  • Skin
  • Style
  • Travel

Copyright © 2025 · Foodie Pro & The Genesis Framework