Black Woman, Know That You Are Beautiful
bella | Feb 27, 2008 | Comments 86
The March issue of Glamour magazine features a six-page spread titled Your Race, Your Looks.” The article is a response to the publication’s professional hair debacle of last year. In November, Glamour magazine rounded up a panel of esteemed journalists, beauty entrepreneurs, and academic figures to discuss the current state of the depiction of black women in the media and ways to create a future that embraces all shades and textures of beauty. The article featured a chorus of voices that revealed the same experience that I’ve shared with you, and so many of you have shared here with me — most of us have been made to feel less than beautiful at some point in our lives. Less than feminine. Less than desirable. It comes from your family, your friends, your work environment, from the media, and sometimes, from within ourselves.
Subtle slings and arrows are constantly flung at beautiful black women, and they come from all sides. There’s the ever-notable lack of inclusion on television, in movies, in fashion magazines and fashion shows. Fun fact, did you know that before they used the stunning Jourdana Dunn this season, Prada hadn’t used a black model on the runway since 1997? And despite that, Prada still was more inclusive than some of the other designers. Many of this year’s hottest shows at fashion week could be described as a whitewash.
The fashion issue’s been panel-discussed to death both Stateside — read this Jezebel article about last year’s panel discussion titled “Out Of Fashion: The Absence Of Color,” and in England. When the issue was vigorously debated recently, ever-outspoken designer Vivienne Westwood lambasted the racist industry. Now she’s chosen striking Kenyan model Ajuma Nasenyana as the face of her latest campaign, and the Juergen Teller photos reveal her posed with a spear, a machine gun, and alongside bananas and African masks. Some bloggers think it’s fly, others, most notably Make Fetch Happen (one of my new fave blogs on the block), critique the yawn-worthy “safari chic” theme models of color are so often photographed in. A “colorful native” version of the kind of fashion shoots that have also been analyzed over at Racialicious, if you will. I’d love to hear your views on this one.
Sometimes the people who love you will dim your shine without necessarily meaning to step on your self esteem. It can be a little off-the-cuff quip, like “is that what you’re wearing?” If you wear your hair in a natural style, you’ll probably hear, “aren’t you going to do something with that?” in reference to your style of choice. Or the offer of a well meaning older relative to help you “fix your hair.” Because in her eyes, it’s broken and bad.
Sometimes, it’s an incident with your employer or coworkers. I read this post on Racialicious
(penned by the super intelligent blogger of What Tami Said) and felt my pulse race with recognition at that feeling of not being considered just as female, sexy, and attractive as a lighter (or whiter) skinned counterpart. And I agreed most of all with her conclusion — “Sometimes it is freaking tiring being a beautiful black woman in America.” But not just America — these are situations and emotions that women of color all over the world can identify with. Sometimes it’s enough to chip away at even the most confident bella’s self esteem.
I don’t know about y’all, but I have had enough of doubting my beauty and my worth as a woman. I am not going to take it anymore — from the media, or from the people I interact with regularly. If you’re with me, can I get an amen?
I say, don’t waste your time buying Vogue or any of the so-called fashion bibles that hardly ever use models of color in their spreads. Support the publications that do — if you’re bored of Essence or Ebony, check out Trace magazine online instead. Or Amber Mag. Or read a black fashion blog, like I Like Her Style, or The Fashion Bomb.
I say, the next time you’re thinking about dropping dollars on a Prada bag or an overpriced item from insert the latest trendy product here, look at their advertising. Think about it, then spend that cash to support someone who celebrates you as a beautiful woman and a viable customer. We are tastemakers with our own ideas, so forget what Anna Wintour thinks should be the new hotness. Go get yourself an Alek Wek bag, or an Iman purse instead — Iman’s Global Chic line is both affordable and stylish. Before you support another designer who doesn’t see fit to send models that look like you sashaying down their runway, consider the designers who regularly use models of color. If I had the dough to spend on high fashion, I’d definitely spring for something by Rachel Roy, Diane Von Furstenberg, or Tracy Reese — designers who recognize that there are multiple shades of beauty.
When that well-meaning relative chimes in their two cents about the texture or length of your hair, don’t snap back a rude response (no matter how much you might want to). Take the time to explain to them why your hair is beautiful the way it is, or even better, show them how you style your hair, tell them what products you use, and explain why you do it that way. Mama Bella and my aunties will probably never go totally natural, but I think they admire the fact that I can wash and go without worrying too much. I can swim without worrying about getting my hair wet. Bellas of the relax-and-rollerset generation might never fully understand the new era of proudly natural women. That doesn’t mean we can’t respect each other and learn to embrace one another’s beauty. Starting a dialogue that examines your relative’s thought process about hair can do one of two things — it can make them seriously think about the reasons for their deep-seated prejudices, or it can make them totally sick of hearing your “nappy nazi” rhetoric. Either way, score! — you probably won’t have to have the same conversation again.
If a coworker or employer makes you feel uncomfortable about the way you wear your hair, or somehow makes you feel less than feminine (as happened to Tami), your first impulse might be a four-letter word that could get you in trouble at the office. Bite back the anger, and take a moment to reflect before you respond. You can’t let some out-of-touch d-bag steal your sunshine. If the people you work with make you feel invisible, or “less than,” then it’s up to you how you deal with that. Invisibility can have its benefits in the workplace (trust me,) but if your self confidence has been compromised, pick yourself up and celebrate your beauty. Look in the mirror and give yourself an unbashed grin. Know that you are beautiful and fabulous and you deserve all of the best things in life. If you can afford it, treat yourself to a fly, work appropriate top in a color you love — brights of all colors look stunning on beautiful brown skin. If you’re self-conscious about having short hair, get yourself some beautiful hoop earrings to show off your sassy side. Boost your own esteem from within by mentally listing all of your positive attributes — your beautiful eyes, the enviable shade of your skin (you’ll never need to be spray painted orange at a tanning salon, right?), the lush fullness of your lips (who needs implants? Not you, bella!), and most of all, your strong, sexy brain. We’re too smart and too fly to let anyone make us feel less than. Black is Beautiful. Sometimes we let ourselves forget that we are beautiful black women. Take the time to remind yourself today and every day.
FYI, I got the image at the top of the page from Gorgeous Black Women, a site I visit whenever I need beauty inspiration. Check it out!
Bellas, has anyone ever made you feel less than beautiful? How did you overcome those feelings of self-doubt?
I CANCELLED MY GLAMOUR MEMBERSHIP AS SOON AS THE INCIDENT OCCCURED. THEY KEPT SENDING RENEWALS UNTIL I WROTE A LETTER BACK WITH THE RENEWAL SLIP AS TO WHY. WHITE PEOPLE ALWAYS INSULT US THEN TRY TO MAKE IT UP TO US …ITS SAD HOW WE OFTEN TAKE THE BAIT!
[...] for that you “lack.” The situation isn’t hopeless. As Afrobella writes in Black Woman, Know That You Are Beautiful, there are ample resources created by and for women of color that need our support. While most of us [...]
I agree wholeheartedly. I’m Puerto Rican, and I constantly see spanish soap operas with the majority of the women being light skinned; whereas if you ever saw a black woman in the soap opera, she always portrayed the maid, servant, the poor woman from the “barrio”, etc. These stereotypes and proclamations of women of color in the media is just mad, and I wish they would stop portraying women as such. Also, I have kinky curly hair and I love it that way, but everyone is constantly encouraging me to straighten my hair. Why should I do that when I like my hair in it’s natural state? So that I can look more Americanized? No offense to anyone of Caucasian descent. I’m not Caucasian, my skin is not white, My hair is not fine, so why should I have to meet the standards that the media constantly places? To be lighter; have finer hair? Where are the women that look like me in the magazines and tv shows?
Despite all this I hold no hate, because I know that I’m beautiful as I am, and I prove this by being myself each and everyday.
Women of color don’t fret or fall down to the standards of beauty that you see today, for you are beautiful as you are.
another excellent post bella, thank you. and thank you for the links! you’ve rejuvenated me. i’m dark-skinned and have locs, which i’ve been growing for almost 10 years. i have a love-hate relationship with it (as we all do, no matter what the style) but i refuse to go back to straightening it. i find it really interesting that strangers, friends, and co-workers absolutely LOVE my hair, yet my own mother can’t STAND it. it seems that the standard of beauty for her and many of my family members is the ‘straight hair’ look. i’ve read in some other posts that other women are grappling with the same thing. it’s comforting to know this, but it shouldn’t have to happen! my hair is apart of me, it’s not who i am, and regardless of all my accomplishments (which my mom is proud of), my hair is still a sticking point. i hate that we as black women (even by the our loved ones), are still defined us by how we look, and not who we are individuals. (i love my mama, don’t get me wrong! just in case you were wondering.)
I just found your blog! THANK YOU! THANK YOU! THANK YOU! As my name suggests, I am a dark chocolate lady but it took a long, long, time before I fully embraced it. I think it would have been much sooner if your blog was around about 20 years ago!
You’ve gained another faithful reader!
Keep up the good work!
I agree whole heartedly. I decided to go natural about a year and a few months ago and I can count on one hand the number of people that think it was a good decision.
My Mom, My sisters, most of my friends, average people in the street think I should straighten my hair. Up to now my Mom still says “I can’t wait for you to start straightening your hair again! It will look sooooo good!” Fill in the blanks. Whenever I express to my sisters that I wish my love life may be better they attribute the lack I attention from the male species to the fact that I wear my hair natural.
I don’t even blame them for their attitude though. We live in Trinidad and there’s always been this underlying racism toward dark girls. People make comments like “God, yuh aint see how black she is!” or “Hmm, yuh better look for a red, indian or white man because yuh don’t want any late for school children with that kind of hair you have there!”. Everywhere you turn you face comments which imply that how you look is inherently unacceptable. The result is a bunch of black girls walking around with dead straight hair, bleaching their skins, talking with an accent just to fit in. I am not exagerating… believe or not that’s how it is in T&T right now.
I think I would be able to pass if I had “good hair”; You know, curly hair. But I don’t, my hair coils very tightly on head. Despite these comments I insist that I will keep my hair natural because it’s how it’s meant to be. Full Stop. It’s called natural for a reason. And I refuse to be molded into something that I’m not just to fit in.
Blogs like this are truly a lifeline to girls like us who want to try to appreciate who we are. Thanks!
Do you realise just how far we have to go? ‘We’ meaning black people. What is all this vacuous talk about beauty? Superficial and damaging. Let’s add race into the equation and you are on a hiding to nowhere.
Forget the notion of race – if you allow yourself to be defined by racists, sexists, homophobic, ignorant people then you are allowing them to set the agenda.
Our focus should be turned towards embracing and changing our own mindsets, eliminating all forms of religion – which prevent critical thinking, logical reasoning and widen any gulfs humans have between them.
Enough. Stop and think: Why am I so concerned about my hair? Why do I have such negative views about x race? Why am I bothered if I am viewed as beautiful or not? – and who has set the terms of beauty for me?
Live in the moment, find out who you are and if you have goals just go for them. Life’s tough sometimes and everybody has obstacles to overcome – adding that big heavy load of race division just makes it 10 times harder, not easier.
Remember, esp to all those who make constant references to ‘god’) the racists read the same texts that you do and justify their views the same way you can. Do you really believe those mythical stories and then teach them to your children? Why?
I am all in favor of Black women loving themselves and appreciating themselves for who and what they are. Additionally, let’s be honest: A lot ff Black women are seriously and dangerously obese, and it’s not usually due to glandular problems like an under-active thyroid. Many Black women eat carelessly, and don’t exercise on a regular basis. I a Black woman the other day who is dangerously obese. She couldn’t have been more than 25 years old. She was walking across the parking lot to the university campus. She was struggling, just to walk across the parking lot to campus. Ladies This madness has to STOP!!!.
I havn’t read through all the comments but i definitely think black women should love themselves, they are the most beautiful, sexy and strong minded women in the world. i’m mixed race black/white but i have never known my white dad or any of his family, he left when i was born beacuse i was darker than my sister and therefore my mother must have cheated :s anyway i don’t dislike white people or my white blood i just dislike the white media and their idea of beauty. they portray light skin and white features to be the best things to have and that message is shown all over the world in all countries. it gets me real angry especially when black women start thinking that way too and get skin lightening crap n destroy their beautiful skin. i also hate when beyonce is brought up when talking about black beauty, that women is TRASH! and a disgrace, she actually went and got a nose job and lip reduction to look more white! wtf! in my opinion white women are unattractive in every way, flat body, no lips, pointed nose, stringy hair and skin that ages real bad just doesn’t do it for me. i love real black women, dark smooth skin, curvy bodies, full lips, beautiful afro hair and amazingl beautiful faces. i respect, admire and love black women. i just wish they all felt the same. all i can say is f*ck the media, you and i know what real beauty is. BLACK WOMEN = REAL BEAUTY/GOD’S FINEST CREATION.
Love the comments. Just one thing I want to add Not all light skin black women have the so called good hair. I am a light skin black woman with full lips and a gap with nappy coarse hair. I experience comments such as for me to be so “red” I sure have some nappy hair. I have not put chemicals in my hair for almost 2 years. I am frustrated about not being able to feel comfortable being natural. I choose to wear wigs and braids during my grow out because I had a lot of damage. Now I am looking at what kind of natural style to wear. I am in may late 40′s and do have some gray that I don’t like. Genetics cause graying early. Will coloring my hair make me not natural?
i think coloring your hair would be ok because it won’t change the texture right? i’m mixed race as i stated above so i can’t tell you for sure and i’m only 19 so i don’t know a lot lol but i do love black women’s natural hair, everything natural about black women is beautiful and thats why none of you need to cake your face up full of make-up like the white woman
Thanks Matt for the support. I do think I am beautiful and in fact as a child hated my full lips and everything else that didn’t look “white” I also recognize that I am who I am and with each passing day embrace the beauty of it all. Just to day I had a someone say natural hair is hard to handle. That gave me the mind set to say I’ll show you differently. I will go for the color but keep it within the range of my own natural color dark brown. Thanks
I’m glad to help and I’m glad that you know your beautiful. I’m sorry to hear that you hated your features when you were a child but It’s great that thats all changed now. The sad truth is that we are all living in a white world and it will probably always be that way. I lived in africa for a while and still saw racism from white people, that’s just crazy, what the hell are thy doing there if their racist??? anyways i think parents can do a lot to help improve their kids opinions on themselves. let your children know that their skin and features are beautiful at an early age and do NOT buy them those stupid blonde barbies or let them watch such disney movies as ‘snow white’ the racism is in the title, and the whole message to the movie is being ‘the fairest of them all’ its ridiculous. there does need to be more black dolls and children’s programs in order for that to work though. so i guess there is a lot of work to be done and all i can really do at the moment is tell you that YOU ARE ALL BEAUTIFUL.
You have a point about the snow white. Fortunately I have never allowed my girls to have white dolls. In fact my youngest daughter never played with baby dolls. I believe that playing with baby dolls sends the message to girls that babies are fun there’s nothing fun about being a teen mom. I work with teen moms and they had a fantasy about babies. I believe also that allowing little boys to have play guns sends the message that guns are not serious weapons. Anyway this forum is about hair. Is there anyone that have good suggestions about how to keep natural hair from being to dry.
“do NOT buy them those stupid blonde barbies or let them watch such disney movies as ’snow white’ the racism is in the title, and the whole message to the movie is being ‘the fairest of them all’ its ridiculous.”
I find the above to be a racist comment. We as a people have suffered enough racism in the past and less in the present time. So we should know best of all not to be saying such things. (There are black dolls, and plenty diverse and black television out there)
Calling a Disney movie racist because it says “fairest of them all”(by the way not the message of the movie) is wrong. Where is the logic in that? Here are some definitions of fair for you…
“free from blemish, imperfection, or anything that impairs the appearance, quality, or character” “pleasing in appearance; attractive” Fair has many meanings not just fair as in skin tone.
On to my comment in regards to this article…
Black is beautiful! I love my skin, hair, lips, and figure. Every race has beautiful, unqiue qualities to be proud of. This does not mean each race has to find your race beautiful. We are made differently and our minds are attracted to different things. I for one am attracted to the black race and others. (I know a hot male when I see one!) All races are beautiful and we should all be proud and show off ourselves!
I liked the article and I agree that as a black woman I am not represented by most fashion mags. I also get sick of watching those shampoo commercials, because even if they do have a woman of color in the ad, she has hair like a barbie. I though, find myself in a situation that to me, is much more distressing and disturbing. I am a very light skinned black woman who not only is seen as a negative by whites, but also am not really accepted as being a woman of color by my own race. I think that as African Americans, we have so bought into this slave mentality that lighter is better, and we can’t move past it. If we as a race promote this idea through our negative attitudes toward others of our own race, how can we fault the white establishment for continuing to feed us this idea that we find so irresistible? We want to be proud of our race and who we are, we insist that we love being black woman, and yet those features that are distinct to us are seen as negatives. We scream,” Acknowledge my value as a black woman, see me as just as good, just as beautiful as my white counterparts!” And then go to the nearest beauty shop and pay a small fortune to get tracks in our hair so that it is as straight, long and Caucasian as we can get it. So we have to figure out what it is that we want. I have a large fro, don’t relax, press, or add tracks. My hair is a part of my identity, and I am proud of who and what I am, and what I came from. The only way society as a whole will see our beauty is if We can see our beauty, and stop feeding into the the ideas that they give us about what beauty is, especially if the ideas they give us don’t include those things intrinsic to what makes us, us.
Well it’s been about 6 months since I have actually stop wearing the wigs and weaves and showing my own hair. I have gotten more comments from black women than anyone else. They seem to be shocked at the fact that I have a nappy head (as they say) I wear braids, twists, twist out, afro. Anything I can come up with for my natural hair. I am happy nappy. I don’t have the hassles of all the equipment it takes to have “white hair.” I have notice how some women would rather have short, super short, damaged, brittle, straight hair instead of their own longer, stronger, natural hair. I am HAPPY NAPPY!
I am a relaxed-roller set kind of gal. I love myself regardless of my hair state. I recognize that my beauty is not represented within mainstream society but I am still happy with myself and my body. It is my goal to inform people about black beauty and its diversity; especially within [our] community. The fashion industry in my opinion is one of the worst types of media.
A) effects Body Image
B) effects Beauty Image
C) Is not realistic
D) is culturally constructed
I no longer care what designers or advertisers percienve beauty as.
I am beautiful & you are beautiful too! don’t let anyone tell you differently
you cannot truly love women without loving all women. all women are beautiful. i saw a black womon blush for the first time in my life, it was the most beautifl sight i ever seen. yes black people are loved but it is the media that put the sistas down. but hang tight to the wagon, you will have a comeback.
Hi There!
Yea, yea, it’s a black man on a woman’s site. But after hearing all the s*** black women have to deal with, I just had to say something (even though this is just on the internet). Ain’t nothing more beautiful than a black women embracing her features. I see these Nigerian sistas rockin’ dashikis and all sorts of traditional African wear and they got me thinkin’, “damn, now if that isn’t a goddess then she gotta be a queen…”F*** western standards of beauty, you African by blood. So how do you expect yourselves to comply to their standards? What up black women?
i am a young 21 year old mahogany/chocolate girl and i love my complexion i feel that black women need to cherish the treasure that they have from their full lips, varying complexions, kinky, wavy or curly hair.most of all we are powerful and radiant and have a strong uniqueness that is amazing.
Gosh, I’ve never read an article so true.
The thing that hurts me the most is that if the fashion industry was more accepting of not just black women, but women with real real bodies, we would not have this ‘video vixen’ issue. I know alot of those video models would love to be a part of the mainstream industry. But, we are not welcome, so where else to turn to but the videos. Me and girls my age, we only see ethnic girls shaking their booties in front of cameras.How does that make us feel? Many of these girls are remarkably beautiful, and could fit in any high fashion ad, given the chance.
Girls my age would probably get a huge attitude change if they saw girls ‘like them’ in elegant gowns, rather than an almost-birthday-suit.
I can not lie, I am still struggling with my image. I find myself sometimes envious of my family members light complexion (even though im quite light myself)
Alot needs to be done to change things. But I think if girls my age start now, the next generation wont feel the sting of our social exclusion from society’s idea of Beauty
Thank you. Your comments and articles are inspiring. After reading and researching some of the most negative websites on the Internet, it is refreshing to see something so positive to help our sisters out. Sometimes, I get so depressed, but its nice to know that I have my siters with me in the fight. Thanks again and God Bless you all.
This article was, for me, very empowering. I had just searched on Google “are black women beautiful?” because as a teen who goes to an all white school, sometimes i’m doubtful. But thankfully it is in a neighborhood that is very diverse with all sorts of people attending my school, even a few native americans. Over this summer I’ve come to realize that I am beautiful, with my mahogany skin, black eyes, kinky hair, the works. I have been wearing my hair natural for all my life except for about five months when i was feeling unusually insecure and got it pressed. i think god was looking out for me because had i gotten a perm, my hair would not be the shoulder length, thick, and healthy hair it is now. i saw one person put a comment that they switch up their hairstyle every few years, i do mine differently very few weeks. i can’t stand to look the same all the time and i too have tried every hairstyle in the book except locs. right now i have twists, and my hair is at a length where i can style it with rollers for a vintage look, or just wear it in a modern shag. i love being black and all the things that come with it, things like not having to worry too much about sunburn and melanoma, being able to get away with not shaving for a while (at least if you have dark skin like mine), and being able to wear practically any color except gray or chartreuse
….this article just reaffirmed all that for me. thanks again.
Ooops, I meant to put in a mostly white school. But like I said, it does have diversity because of the neighborhood it’s in.
[...] am I writing this? It’s a follow up to this comment I got on Afrobella in February, 2008. Scroll down to comment 75. Yup, I’m still getting comments on this thread [...]
The Black standard of beauty isn’t much of an improvement over the White standard, coming from a woman stuck between the two. I’m too dark, eyes too brown, hips to wide, tad too heavy to fit the White standard. But at the same time I’m not dark enough, hair’s not thick enough, hips not wide enough and a** not big enough to meet the Black standard either. I thought that Black people were going celebrate black in all its hues. I was wrong. Gotta be a Nicki Minaj to make the cut with BPs or be a Kate Moss to make with WPs. All I see is two standards I’ll never meet.
Thanx for posting, tho.
Inside bueaty is more valuable that outside, remember that and you can never go wrong.
i am a middle brown skin tone and i am fifteen.i kind of feel non beautiful because i go to a lily white catholic school where the white girls get the boys.really,what is so attractive about them?Just because society tells them they are pretty doesn’t mean they are.Some of them are pretty but the majority of them aren’t pretty.Really why do I want to look like some pale behind person with stringy hair,and no butt,lips or color in their skin. And they age so quickly!At the end of the day,I know black is beautiful and I don’t listen to the media
I stopped buying magazines long ago. Fortunately, I’m long past the point of folks making comments about my hair – these days, I get nothing but compliments, and the rest know better than to say anything negative. THANK YOU for writing this article; we all need to stop letting others define our beauty, and we definitely need to challenge those who think we are “less than.”
AMAZING article bravo Bella sistahs must understand God did no wrong when HE made us right !!
If you want some inspirational natural hairstyles befriend me @ http://www.facebook.com/hairbynedjettisalon all extension free and I styled them all myself
Also come to the 1st Natural Hair and Beauty Expo , NYC Apr 16 & 17, 2011 http://www.ChicandKinkyexpo.com I will be givng a 2 day natural seminar, giving transitional cuts to those in the audience and selling my dvd tutorials (www.naturalhairdvd.com) come and let’s celebrate our innate au naturale beauty
Remember when you walk with confidence and embrace YOU, others will pick up on your energy and respect you oppose to challenging you, the power lies within !!!
Let’s break the cycle of the LYE and walk with spiritual gratitude….xo my sistahs
agreed, great piece.
hi Afrobella – thanks so much for sharing – we have made a video here in the UK and we’d love for you to share it with your readers. Its called What makes the black woman beautiful – http://vimeo.com/groups/77217/videos/18799882
Let us know what you think!
It is not the colour, but the softness of the skin. That’s just it
Black is beautiful! Beautiful black women, don’t listen to society and their narrow minded idea of beauty; blond hair blue eyes, pale skin, big breast, big butt and light skin, big butt and breast and long blond hair for black women. And I wouldn’t buy that magazine at all! Glamour magazine like all magazines except Essence and Jet, idolize White beauty instead of Black beauty. And Blacks aren’t any better either! They still have a Euro centric standard of beauty for their woman, which I think is not fair and wrong! Beautiful black women come in all hues like Tisha Campbell, Clara, Sanaa lathan and Gabrielle Union. And it’s crazy that halle Berry and Beyonce represent Black beauty when they are mixed and there is Black woman who are far more beautiful than those women will ever be! I’m not saying that they aren’t beautiful, they are but they is better. I just think it is sad that we Blacks don’t think we are beautiful and we should ban magazines that exclude and degrade us! And for our brothas, I have a lot to say to them, why do you prefer light skin/mixed and white girls and in fact, any girl that isn’t black? Why is it you seem not to love us anymore? You guys are never there for us anymore or defend us when people of other races call us ugly, etc. You guys are never there for your baby mama”s children or anything. I know some of us have bad attitudes but we just can’t take your crap anymore! I am sick of seeing black guys with these plain janes/ugly white girls walking around! I just don’t get it? Are they prettier than us………well to your eyes? Never mind , unless the world see Black women’s beauty, we as sistas should respect our selves and love ourselves before anyone else and the world does.