The Things We Do For Beauty

We preen, pluck, and primp. We go on insane and obviously unhealthy diets. We shove our feet into pointy toed high heel shoes that can cause long term health effects, and pay a pretty penny for that pleasure. We get our wrinkles disguised from the inside out with fillers, or we have known poisons injected into our faces. The things we women do in the name of beauty are just insane. And still, there’s always something new out there to try, some new crazy thing you haven’t thought of doing before that promises to make you look prettier, younger, hotter, sexier. More beautiful.

I’ve made myself a guinea pig for beauty. I realize that more some times than others — trying out hot new hair products or makeup samples is nice work if you can get it. But these realizations all started swirling around my mind Friday before last, when I um — had my nostrils waxed. I know! WTH was I thinking? Let me just go ahead and answer the top four questions I’ve gotten from everyone who I’ve told about this so far.

1 — OMG, did it hurt?

Obviously! Hot wax + body hair + ripping = pain. But the pain of waxing my nose hairs paled in comparison to the first time I had my upper lip waxed. Or the first time I had a full bikini wax. Oh my Lord, I actually sobbed the first time I had that done. But the pain of bikini waxing truly does diminish over time. Nostril waxing feels crazy — imagine having someone push two hot-wax covered sticks up your nose. OK, then breathe through your mouth. Don’t freak out! One… two… yoink! Tears instantly flooded my eyes and poured down my face — it was a completely involuntary reaction. But the waxing itself didn’t hurt as bad as I thought it would.

2 — Why on earth would I do such a thing?

I have no answers, bellas. Sometimes I perplex even myself. I went into the situation honestly not knowing what I was in for — Women’s Package #1 at this spa includes eyebrows, under arms, and upper lip waxing (all of which I have done, and was in need of doing again). I had the exterior of my nose waxed before and it was kind of amazing — you’d be stunned at how many teeny little hairs grow out of every pore of your face. But I never ever would have thought of waxing the inside. But Maria talked me into it, and in all honesty, I didn’t think about it for long. I was like, “sure, I’ll try it!” without even questioning my judgment, or having the chance to do the research that probably would have made me not volunteer for the service. According to Wikipedia, “given the function of nasal hairs, many physicians recommend trimming them lightly, if at all.” But I called my doctor right after I did the procedure, and she didn’t think it would cause any harm. Either way, here I am, nose-hair free.

3 — Has anything weird happened because of it?

Not really — when I first did it, I felt super self conscious whenever I laughed — we wouldn’t want to blow out anything untoward when giggling, now would we? OMG, how embarrassing would THAT be? I’m not convinced by Maria’s assertion that it would make me look prettier and/or younger — a few people did ask me if I’d “done something different” to my face, one of my coworkers said my makeup looked brighter or something. She couldn’t put her finger on it. I can’t say whether it was the nose waxing, or the Christopher Drummond Saude Pele radiance boosting powder that I’d used that day. (my bet is on the Saude Pele). So the difference nostril waxing made to my overall appearance is negligible. But I didn’t like, get sick or breathe in anything crazy or anything like that. Overall, the experience left me wondering question #2 — why did I do that, again?

4 — Would I do it again?

Oh no, I don’t think so. Having done it and noticed no major difference, I am happy to kick back and let my nasal garden grow from here on out. But if I were a guy with a nose hair problem (you know who you are!), I’d definitely consider it.

Have any of you done anything truly crazy or stupid in the name of beauty? Did you ever regretted your decision?

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Comments

  1. My bf has one long, curly nose hair that drives me nuts, lol. I want to snatch it out of his nostril, but that may hurt him and I don’t have the ring yet.. lol.

    I’m trying to talk him into getting a pedicure and we’ve gone from a HELL NO to a well, I’ll try it. That took THREE years.

    I’m still trying to work my way up to a bikini wax.

  2. Bella! Your telling of the nose hair removal is hilarious. I’ve never heard of such a thing, but I guess I can see why somebody thought of it. But I’m glad to hear you don’t think you’ll be doing it again, you need those little dudes. I’ve seen a few men who could use a trim, but even they shouldn’t yank the whole caboodle out, IMO.

    The stupidest thing I’ve done that I regretted? When I was pregnant, I had a smooth, round, no stretch mark belly that glowed a beautiful brown…and an unsightly amount of hair cutting what I felt was a gigantic swathe down the middle from my belly button to you-know-where. SO not magazine cover ready (ala Demi). So, I decided to handle it. Big mistake, plus I ended up with this funky gray colored area that was more horrible than the hair, if you could believe it. OBs have seen it all, I’m sure, so he didn’t blink, but I left it alone after that.

  3. wow, I have never heard of such and kudos to you for being brave enough to try it!

  4. I remember when I was 11 years old. I wanted so badly to get my thick eyebrows arched, but mama said a big fat “no” to that. So what did I do? I took one of those Norelco electric “lady shavers” and did the job myself. Needless to say, I jacked up my eyebrows and was subject to much ridicule upon my return to school the next day. Nowadays, I leave it to the professionals! LOL

  5. When I was fifteen, I used to buy cheap bras that were two sizes too small thinking it would squeeze in my extra boobage. Little did I know I was just pushing the breast meat to my sides and back. Can you say Michelin Man?

    Not a good look. You live and you learn!

  6. ROTFL!!! I can’t believe you did that. I can’t believe there’s a salon out there that offer such a service.

  7. What I REALLY want to know…what did she charge you for such a service???

    I’ve never heard of such a thing. Ever. In my life. Thanks for sharing.

    Does she wax ear hair too? How about the sprigs of hairs I’ve seen on the top of some people’s toes? Gosh, this is blowing my mind…

  8. Ms. Satin says:

    I remember dyeing my hair with tropical punch and cherry kool-aid in the late 80′s. Heck, I was only 12 and I heard it was just as good as the regular stuff. Man I had kool-aid stains under my nails for weeks. But I did have a great tropical punch reddish glow to my hair

  9. You are indeed the intrepid beauty journalist! I wonder who these women are to consistently do this sort of thing. They may possibly have major boogers running out of their noses as a result. Eeeww.

  10. The worst thing I did was get my upper lip THREADED. NEVER A-FRICKIN-GAIN. It hurt worst than bikini/Brazilian waxing to me. I can barely get through the eyebrow threading without crying and reflecting on what went wrong in my life. I usually do depilatory for my upper lip but it’s been leaving dry patches of skin (so did the threading). I guess I will try the wax.

  11. i’m mortified, petrified and all out terrified to get a brazillian wax next weekend, so i don’t have an opinion on whether i would do it again.lol but when i was 6, i hated my “widow’s peak” (aka “an eddie munster”), so i got one of my mamas razors and shaved it off. i didn’t do a very good job of it, because i ended up with a big dip in the middle of my hairline, square in the middle of my forehead. needless to say, i learned that God gave me that odd little patch of hair, so just deal with it!

  12. all I can say Bella is that your brave….didnt realise that ladies would need to oull out nose hairs. I am surprised your nose didnt feel itchy afterwards. lol

  13. omg, i’ve never even HEARD of that…..wow, kudos on bravery, lol

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  14. Bella….that hurt just reading it. OUCH!!!!

  15. Bella you’ve got me ROLLING! Your curious nature is a blessing.

  16. Bella,

    I LOVE an adventurous heart. We share this characteristic. I would have passed on the nostril waxing though. Thanks for sharing!

    Ciao

  17. Wow, I thought I was beauty adventurous… Just not that beauty adventurous. LOLOL

  18. Mrs.Mckinzie says:

    My tail went out,and got my hair bleached blond.You should wait for atleast a month before perming,but silly me I did’nt wait.My hair came out with every comb while the perm was still.I was bald,crying,and had to go to work that day.I went to the barber shop to get the last strings cut even,and I rocked it like nothing happened,and I was sharp.

  19. Wow, Mrs.Mckinzie…now THAT is how a woman moves on!

  20. That is crazy! I wouldn’t ever ever try that!

  21. Tlady03 says:

    I had to share that laugh with someone else.

  22. Starchild says:

    Bella,

    I’ve had my nostrils threaded and waxed before, too. No thanks, I’ll just trim them with tiny scissors. To be honest, I felt less pain with my Brazilian wax than the nostril hair removal!

  23. Mrs.Mckinzie says:

    I did what I had to do @b.I still had to make that money.No worries now ,because i’m all na-tu-ral ha!ha1ha!

  24. Mrs.Mckinzie says:

    I feel you on that “reflecting” point that you made Tamz .Well said,and very funny.It seem like you just go somewhere else when your getting waxed,plucked,snatched,tweezed,and threaded.

  25. Tis true, Mrs. Mckinzie! You have to create a whole new “happy place” to go to!

  26. Tamz you crack me up — “I can barely get through the eyebrow threading without crying and reflecting on what went wrong in my life.” LMAO! I know what you mean as well. Find a happy place!

  27. mochachoc says:

    Haha we women all over the world are just crazy. What about all the money and time I spend trying to remain youthful and preened. Its mad. I watched a woman from Mali describe how she performs female circumcision on young girls. Those who cry are “cowards”. Whilst its not in the same league I winced when I read your story and winced at the thought of having my important bits cut off. Hay ho we must stay beautiful people.

  28. Now, I am a hair removal fiend, I’m constantl on a search-and-destroy mission with regard to bikini lines, underarms, legs BUT I draw the line at the lower under-carriage area (ifyou know what I mean) and …..the nostrils.

    I tried it once and wow, the tears just spurted out of my eyes! Yeouch!

    Afrobella, you deserve a medal for bravery in the line of beauty duty!

  29. Newly Nappy says:

    NEVER……EVER…….AGAIN! luv the curious mind that u r, but hecky naw joe!!!! I am pro hair removal. shave my legs (hate veet and all it’s relatives) shave my underarms (can u say funky if i don’t) and yes i wax my “lower under-carriage” (ha! that was funny mixie)

    i am an obsessive compulsive neat freak. seriously me n monk r cousins three times removed on my late uncle’s brother’s girlfriend’s side lol. so since it makes it so much neater and more sanitary (imo) dwn there i jus suck it up pull a nemo, find a happy place find a happy place find a happy place!, and get it over with. it really does get easier with time….and don’t let it grow back too long.

    kudos to you afrobella! but seriously….don’t do this again……EVER…..AGAIN! :->

  30. My boyfriend has long nose hair. I beg him to get a nose hair trimmer and make a commitment to it before the nose hair grows into his moustache. ICK!!

    The Brazilian did not hurt as much as when threaded my top lip. My nostril hair seems to know its place and has never crossed any threshhold. (knock on wood!)

  31. I’ve heard of nose waxing before and i’ve seen it on TV. Some women should or at least trim. This neighbor of mine and i were talking and THEN i seen the these black hairs pop out of her nose when she smiled.I never really thought of women having hair like that.

  32. life2fullest says:

    I am so shocked!!! Eww I can imagine that it hurt like heck. I gave (well my husband helped me) myself a bikini wax before we went on vacation and boy was I in for a surprise. It was my first time using wax and it hurt like he!!. I will continue to do it because everyone has said it gets easier with time.

    To the first commenter, I finally talked my hubby into getting a pedi and of course our conversation was much like yours, from hell no to maybe. In the end I prevailed and he actually enjoyed it-said dont ask him to do it again but that his heels felt better(welder in steel toed boots all day).

  33. andie p. says:

    Hi Bella,
    When I saw your request for strange procedures, I had to share. My best friend is an esthetician in NYC and she said people come in for anal bleaching. What?? Who cares what color your anus is?!

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