We preen, pluck, and primp. We go on insane and obviously unhealthy diets. We shove our feet into pointy toed high heel shoes that can cause long term health effects, and pay a pretty penny for that pleasure. We get our wrinkles disguised from the inside out with fillers, or we have known poisons injected into our faces. The things we women do in the name of beauty are just insane. And still, there’s always something new out there to try, some new crazy thing you haven’t thought of doing before that promises to make you look prettier, younger, hotter, sexier. More beautiful.
I’ve made myself a guinea pig for beauty. I realize that more some times than others — trying out hot new hair products or makeup samples is nice work if you can get it. But these realizations all started swirling around my mind Friday before last, when I um — had my nostrils waxed. I know! WTH was I thinking? Let me just go ahead and answer the top four questions I’ve gotten from everyone who I’ve told about this so far.
1 — OMG, did it hurt?
Obviously! Hot wax + body hair + ripping = pain. But the pain of waxing my nose hairs paled in comparison to the first time I had my upper lip waxed. Or the first time I had a full bikini wax. Oh my Lord, I actually sobbed the first time I had that done. But the pain of bikini waxing truly does diminish over time. Nostril waxing feels crazy — imagine having someone push two hot-wax covered sticks up your nose. OK, then breathe through your mouth. Don’t freak out! One… two… yoink! Tears instantly flooded my eyes and poured down my face — it was a completely involuntary reaction. But the waxing itself didn’t hurt as bad as I thought it would.
2 — Why on earth would I do such a thing?
I have no answers, bellas. Sometimes I perplex even myself. I went into the situation honestly not knowing what I was in for — Women’s Package #1 at this spa includes eyebrows, under arms, and upper lip waxing (all of which I have done, and was in need of doing again). I had the exterior of my nose waxed before and it was kind of amazing — you’d be stunned at how many teeny little hairs grow out of every pore of your face. But I never ever would have thought of waxing the inside. But Maria talked me into it, and in all honesty, I didn’t think about it for long. I was like, “sure, I’ll try it!” without even questioning my judgment, or having the chance to do the research that probably would have made me not volunteer for the service. According to Wikipedia, “given the function of nasal hairs, many physicians recommend trimming them lightly, if at all.” But I called my doctor right after I did the procedure, and she didn’t think it would cause any harm. Either way, here I am, nose-hair free.
3 — Has anything weird happened because of it?
Not really — when I first did it, I felt super self conscious whenever I laughed — we wouldn’t want to blow out anything untoward when giggling, now would we? OMG, how embarrassing would THAT be? I’m not convinced by Maria’s assertion that it would make me look prettier and/or younger — a few people did ask me if I’d “done something different” to my face, one of my coworkers said my makeup looked brighter or something. She couldn’t put her finger on it. I can’t say whether it was the nose waxing, or the Christopher Drummond Saude Pele radiance boosting powder that I’d used that day. (my bet is on the Saude Pele). So the difference nostril waxing made to my overall appearance is negligible. But I didn’t like, get sick or breathe in anything crazy or anything like that. Overall, the experience left me wondering question #2 — why did I do that, again?
4 — Would I do it again?
Oh no, I don’t think so. Having done it and noticed no major difference, I am happy to kick back and let my nasal garden grow from here on out. But if I were a guy with a nose hair problem (you know who you are!), I’d definitely consider it.
Have any of you done anything truly crazy or stupid in the name of beauty? Did you ever regretted your decision?